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"I am alive and well, thank you for ..."
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The Real TJ 5 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"

07-22-06, 02:10 PM (EST)
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"I am alive and well, thank you for ..."
I received an email from a viewer named Dawn, it took me so long to write my response to her and after reading the message boards I thought I would share it with everyone. I asked her not to exploit this correspondence and here I am being a big hypocrite. I hope Dawn understands!

Thank you for expressing interest in wanting to know, where in the hell is TJ!

Kim was just in town visiting, Little Lisa and Jennifer from season 2 came over and we had a fun reunion. We laughed about our experience and expressed joy over the fact that we have one another to lean on. We have an experience some what like war that will bond all of us for a life time.

I am in Denver, with Rick and my pups running my business trying to heal and grow from my experience. I know it seems I dropped off of the face of the earth but I never went on SO to become famous. Plus, I don't have anything to sell and I am not technologically advanced enough for Mysapce. I truly wanted to learn to live the life my soul intended to be able to thrive in my own little world. I think the reason so many viewers connected with me is due to the fact that I was 110% invested in starting over! I accepted the spot in the house with great pride and thought of each and everyone of you when I was faced with an exeperience or excercise I was not excited about. I would remember when I was sitting home watching the episodes with my pen and paper and thought I am so honored to be here I have to put all of me forward to provide an experience that respects the ones who auditioned and did not make it. I really felt a sense of duty.

Notoriety is a fascinating thing; it does feel good and I am honored that people want to know me but it also can become addictive and unhealthy. The outside validation is amazing and when perfect strangers come to me and tell me they love me I am blown away. But, one day I will be a thing of the past and I will have to pick up the pieces, I would rather do it soon than later. I have contemplated designing a website to share experiences of growth and resources that have helped me on my life's journey but I don't have the time to manage it. I would be obsessed with updating it and I have to be authentic so I would have to answer every email. With my disabilities an email this size takes about an hour for me to write. It is not always easy for me to put my thoughts together when I want to be vulnerable and as you know I don't do short and sweet...

I wish they would have spent more time on my disabilities and not accuse me of using it as a crutch. Having ADHD and learning disabilities is so difficult in a cookie cutter world. I want people to know, I am just wired differently. It is the difference between a Mac and a PC. Different operating systems but the end result is the same. I am always looking for ways I can become more proficient in being an expert in TJ! The problem with the world (myself included) is "we all think, you should think the way I think!" ADHD allows me the ability to process, multitask and think in lightening speed creating the efficiency needed to be a successful business owner. I have a problem solved before others even realize there is one. That gets me in trouble in my personal life because I have a hard time operating in a vulnerable space where I am not most efficient. I crave and thrive on efficiency! I admit it, I am a machine. I constantly think to myself why can't others speed up, think faster and multitask? I become frustrated when others are operating and thinking differently. Ultimately, I wanted to be a champion for all of those who feel like damaged goods just because they don't fit the mold, and learn to stop judging others for not fitting in my mold. If we acknowledge and embrace everyone's differences we would all live a bit more harmoniously.

If you have specific questions about my experience or disabilities I am happy to respond, I tried to post a thread on the message boards but my inexperience at the time got the best of me. It was only a reply so everyone did not see it (post is titled yearbook nominations). I posted one other time but I cannot remember the title. I am truly grateful for all of the support and kindness that views expressed. I am most proud of the fact that overall at first viewers did not like me but I became a favorite in the end. Not because I want to be most popular but most important it solidified to me that truth and authenticity will always win in the end. I don't know any other way to be, thank God for my disabilities.

I am really busy so please understand if I don't get back to you right away and I would just ask that you respect my privacy and not share my personal email address or exploit the details of this correspondence? Thank you in advance for your understanding and being interested in my life.

You guys are the bomb and I can't thank you enough for your feedback, good and bad. Please get over the typo's and incomplete sentences, I can't help it! I tried to post a picture of the reunion but this is not where I shine so if someone wants to send me step by step instructions I would love to share a pic.

Rick sends his love as well...For those wondering about why he was on crutches. He tore his knee while on a fishing trip about a month prior. He was in so much pain we did not think he was going to make it on the show. I have never met someone with the ability to suck it up and take one for the team like Rick. He was in so much pain when he arrived and would not take his pain pills because he wanted to be at his best. He too has learning disabilities and ADD. We are at opposite end of the spectrum with our strengths and weaknesses, we support one another well. He has trouble organizing his thoughts when he is nervous and the pain pills make him unable to organize at all. I wish you would have gotten more of an opportunity to get to know him. He truly is an amazing human being and man with the gift of compassion and empathy like no other. Remember the episode where I called him to invite him to the show and he was less than excited to respond? He was concerned about flying in so much pain and he put on some weight being laid up with his knee and he did not want me to see him 20 lbs heavier, he felt fat! How cute is that?

Keep it real sista's,

TJ

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Table of Contents
  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 I am alive and well, thank you for ...   The Real TJ     07-22-06       
   RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   DedeV     07-22-06     1  
     RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   carriem     07-22-06     2  
   RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   JessicaRN     07-22-06     3  
   RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   slickeronstate     07-22-06     4  
   RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   willowsherman     07-22-06     5  
   RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   buttercup2     07-22-06     6  
     RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   sm2     07-22-06     7  
   RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   andreajesus10     07-22-06     8  
     RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   staceeturner     07-23-06     9  
   RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   eire_heart74     07-23-06     10  
     RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   SunTeaz     07-24-06     11  
   RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   kawyar     07-24-06     12  
   RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   slickeronstate     07-24-06     13  
     WARNING - slickeronstate   Bebo     07-24-06     14  
         RE: WARNING - slickeronstate   toyota73     07-24-06     15  
   RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   momof4inVA     07-25-06     16  
     RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   dopeydwarf     07-25-06     17  
   RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   Anne18     07-25-06     18  
     RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   txdarkfairy     07-26-06     19  
         RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   momof4inVA     08-09-06     50  
   RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   buttercup2     07-27-06     20  
   RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   WeShallSee     07-27-06     21  
   RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   alliamamabear     07-28-06     22  
     RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   magnoliaz     08-04-06     30  
         RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   sharnina     08-04-06     31  
             RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   magnoliaz     08-05-06     36  
             RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   momof4inVA     08-07-06     42  
         RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   sharnina     08-04-06     32  
             RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   magnoliaz     08-05-06     37  
   RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   GoddessOfWisdom     07-28-06     23  
     RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   bootsie     07-28-06     24  
         RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   WeShallSee     07-29-06     25  
             RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   DedeV     07-31-06     27  
         RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   techstyle     07-29-06     26  
             RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   sm2     07-31-06     28  
                 RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   eire_heart74     08-01-06     29  
                     RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   Tonya_Harding     08-04-06     33  
                         RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   mysticwolf     08-05-06     34  
                             RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   magnoliaz     08-05-06     35  
                         RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   The Real TJ     08-06-06     38  
                             RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   toyota73     08-06-06     39  
                             RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   slickeronstate     08-06-06     41  
                                 WARNING - slickeronstate   Bebo     08-07-06     43  
                                     RE: WARNING - slickeronstate   wallyhoohoo     08-27-06     79  
                                 RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   Dallas80     08-18-06     71  
                                     WARNING - Dallas80   Bebo     08-18-06     72  
                             RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   buttercup2     08-08-06     46  
                             RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   wallyhoohoo     08-18-06     70  
                                 WARNING - wallyhoohoo   Bebo     08-18-06     73  
                                     RE: WARNING - wallyhoohoo   wallyhoohoo     08-27-06     78  
                                         wallyhoohoo - Yes, Another Warning   mysticwolf     08-27-06     82  
                             RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   wallyhoohoo     08-27-06     76  
                                 WARNING: wallyhoo   mysticwolf     08-27-06     83  
                             RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   wallyhoohoo     08-30-06     84  
                         RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   ltlfighter     08-06-06     40  
                             RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   staceeturner     08-07-06     44  
                                 RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   slickeronstate     08-07-06     45  
                                     RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   TiersOfJoy     08-08-06     47  
                                         RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   techstyle     08-08-06     48  
                                             RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   The Real Kim Season3     08-09-06     49  
                                             RE: TJ and Kim were the least annoy...   carriem     08-09-06     53  
                                             RE: TJ and Kim were the least annoy...   The Real Kim Season3     08-09-06     55  
                                             RE: TJ and Kim were the least annoy...   wallyhoohoo     08-27-06     80  
                                             RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   momof4inVA     08-10-06     56  
                                             RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   Cuntessa     08-12-06     68  
                                             RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   Cuntessa     08-09-06     51  
                                             RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   slickeronstate     08-09-06     52  
                                             RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   The Real TJ     08-10-06     57  
                                             RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   momof4inVA     08-10-06     58  
                                             You have to hand it to TJ and Kim.   carriem     08-10-06     60  
                                             RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   berwyn     08-10-06     61  
                                             RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   RJ Lewis     08-10-06     62  
                                             You may want to edit   mysticwolf     08-11-06     65  
                                             RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   wallyhoohoo     08-27-06     81  
                                             RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   kawyar     08-09-06     54  
                                             RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   Cuntessa     08-10-06     59  
                                             RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   creepyoldwoman     08-10-06     63  
                                             Kim and TJ   2boysmom     08-11-06     64  
                                             RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   momof4inVA     08-11-06     66  
                                             RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   teddi408     08-25-06     75  
                                         RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   wallyhoohoo     08-27-06     77  
   Back on the Show, Please   mysticwolf     08-11-06     67  
   RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   snoopyangel2808     08-16-06     69  
     snoopyangel2808   mysticwolf     08-18-06     74  
   RE: I am alive and well, thank you ...   Madigan     08-30-06     85  

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