LAST EDITED ON 02-17-12 AT 03:35 AM (EST)

Little to bash here.

Props to MB, JP and everyone else in Production, first off.

We are back to square one Survivor, which works perfectly fine as long as you CAST DECENT PEOPLE.

Production is taking a direct shot at the show-sucking phenomena known as pagonging by enabling both tribes to interact the entire time they are in the game. Brilliant.

Hey, and props to MB for bringing SEXYBACK. I am LIKING this cast!

1. Sabrina - As much as I hate to put a woman on top when their tribe is currently a mess, I am very impressed with this woman in about every way possible. Props to casting for redeeming teachers with this one. She is impressive physically, socially, and mentally in the game. When it came time to discuss TC, all the women gathered around her. She also kept her cool at TC. I don't give her too much credit for finding arguably the most staged HII in Survivor history, but she did what is best for the women by giving it to Colton.

2. Jonah - The Sushi Assassin! I'm guessing the men had discussed it since Jonah all of a sudden had the power to trade away the fire. He was the narrator for the men this episode, and we learned last season that narrating isn't a bad spot to be in. I dug pretty much everything he had to say, even if he isn't quite as entertaining as some of his male counterparts. He just comes off as a smart and very likable guy. He had my line of the week by telling Coltan- "It doesn't look like one world to me, bro. It looks like theirs and ours."

3. Christina - My well-documented affection for asian women has nothing to do with this, though it doesn't hurt. No, Christina deserves mad props for first having the guts to steal fire, and then managing to finally convince the men to trade for it. A consultant who is good at negotiating. What do you know? She erred in losing her temper in TC. It probably did nothing but help Alicia's cause. It would have been better to just point out that neither Alicia or Cat had any clue what the original deal was because THEY WERENT THERE!!

4. Chelsea - Wow, just wow. On a tribe of attractive women, she blows everyone else away. I am impressed with about everything and every part of this woman. She would probably be #1 if she just would have given up the damn chicken. Watch the tape. She was the one who first suggested they work together and then split the chickens. The men made no such deal when they were unloading the truck. Secondly, she doesn't catch the first chicken if not for the fact that two guys had it cornered. It isn't like she caught the chickens while the men were standing around watching. Then, complaining about the men not continuing with the challenge and not caring about the women after she refused to split the food they had helped her catch?? Girl, please. I look forward to seeing her next week though.

5. Michael - The thief! GQ guy with a good head on his shoulders. Didn't make any mistakes with the women that I saw, even though, if the women want to believe Tarzan is running the show, then let them. His thievery at the beginning was quick thinking and a low risk move that his tribemates would surely appreciate. He got his face time when the story had little to do with him. Maybe just to please the ladies. I don't know.

6. Troyzan - Haha... totally dig this guy! One of the best parts of the episode was when Monica and Alicia had the back and forth with Tarzan and Troyzan. Loved it when Troyzan had the audacity to suggest the women pole dance for fire. Haha... Shouldn't have argued with the women over the challenge decision. His mouth will likely be his weakness as well, but he is good TV until he's gone.

7. Kim - She did no wrong this first episode and was everywhere she needed to be. She did remind me a little of Danni during her "woman power" confessional. One of the most impressive moments of the episode was when she looked at the guys around the fire and then told Michael that he, Matt and Bill were leading. Good call. Like Sabrina, she seems easily liked by men and women. Men in Texas wouldn't have taken the challenge win?? Get real. That was a no brainer.

8. Jay - Started fire. A young guy who isn't swayed by a pretty face. Props to him.

9. Monica - We are half way through, and I'm still on people I like. How about that? Very attractive woman who is still split from the other women because of age. She had fruitful and entertaining excursions into the men's camp twice, but she was otherwise silent when it came to the dynamic on the women's side. Not a good sign.

10. Leif - Impressive guy, but when you are unique to the cast like he is and get zero play during the premier, THAT is not a good sign. Of course, having any innate edge for compassion in this game is a one way ticket out of the game.

11. Bill - I had high hopes for this guy coming in, but he was mostly left out of the edit this week as well. He did seem to be around a lot.

12. Kat - Love the nickname and like the pink hoodie. She appears to be Alicia's tagalong right now. That's a great place to be, however. Hitch yourself to Alicia and watch the bridges burn.

13. Tarzan - I repeat: Never self-gloss. Zany guy though, and I'm cool with that. I thought it was funny when Alicia offered to have Monica take her pants off, and he responded with- "We are all mature men here." Haha... I'm not sure what that means.

14. Nina - VERY tough row to hoe being the older, tough lady in this crowd. Probably a big failing of the women's tribe is that none of the older women are even trying to show leadership. Need leaders? Hey, listen to your elders, doorknobs. Next time, land on your back like Jeff suggested.

15. Zoltan the Gay Blade - I am putting this guy above the others because he is good TV, but seriously, I think Coltan just played the worst first 3 days of Survivor that has ever been recorded. Basically, he pulled a Shii Ann, but he did it in the first 3 days. You may be on the same beach with the gals, but you are on the MALE TRIBE. Get it? You could not have put up a bigger neon sign saying "GET RID OF ME" than you just did by making it clear to even the chickens that you would rather be with the women. I get it that he is so gay he makes gay guys I know look straight. His jump into the net looked like Janet Jones jumping into the pool in The Flamingo Kid. Seriously? But what does his sexual orientation have to do with just being STUPID? I'm sorry but the HII conveniently found by Sabrina that happens to be for the men is the most obvious production plant of all time. I mean, yeah, we are all that stupid.

16. Matt - Hey, fratboy, learn how to divide. If you have 4 of 9, you do NOT have a dominant alliance. I dig the cool condescension towards the women, and I agree that Chelsea made a deal she should have honored. However, I have a word for you: MAGNANIMOUS. Try it on sometime. Read a book about Abraham Lincoln once. Learn something. That's my PSA for today.

17. Alicia - Hahaha... like Zoltan she is good TV, so I get it if people rate her higher. But really? I guess of every 9 women there has to be at least one, right? She said the march proved her among the strong, but the camera only showed her carrying one basket propped on a pole while another woman helped. Carrying a bundle of firewood like Nina did is a helluva lot harder. Christina managed to get what the women were dying for- fire, and Alicia turns Christina into the bad guy. Why are you arguing with Christina about the deal she made? You weren't even there! The girls don't want to weave at the men's camp? Well, I guess they can GO WITHOUT FIRE THEN, dumbass!! And lastly, it might have been smart gameplay, especially for a mouth like her, to make an alliance of 5 within the first hour of the show, but BORING!!!!!

NO REDEMPTION

Courtney - AWWWWW... come on. She was a cutie who had promise. I don't blame her for breaking her wrist. No one listened to Jeff. Her arm just got caught underneath her when she bounced. I liked what she had to say. Too bad. The women got a GREAT break, by the way, that they didn't have to vote anyone out. Really, Courtney was the weakest among them and on the outside of the alliance anyway. So, it actually cost them exactly nothing. Nice break (not for her).

Excuse the length. Great 1st episode!

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