LAST EDITED ON 10-23-13 AT 07:42 PM (EST)

LAST EDITED ON 10-23-13 AT 09:00 AM (EST)

Ohhhhh La la! I only have one question, Hugh! Thrilled and I mean THRILLED to be a judge and to bestow my 10 chits, I mean chips upon the loser, strike that, celebrity with the best stand-up performance, but, do I still get to perform??? I have my mike...

....and the lips and leg to caress it...

Please! Don't leave me hangin!

Hut Cam 6
1. Buffless in Cagayan: Which Survivor will have their buff burnt at Redemption Island? (4 chips) Brad Culpepper
2. The NEW target: Which Survivor will receive the HiddenIdol Clue? (5 chips) Cierra
3. Under Surveillance: Which tribe will LOSE the Immunity Challenge? (2 chips) nuGalang
4. Grabby Pants: Which Survivor will grab (or be handed) the Immunity Idol from/by JP at the end of the Immunity Challenge? (3 chips) Cierra
5. Tribal Shaman: Which Survivor will be the LAST to make their vote during TC? (7 chips) Vytas
6. Not Guilty: Which Survivor will receive votes at Tribal Council but will not be voted out? (6 chips) Laura B

PS. Do I even need to utter a word...

Alrighty then, Hugh has given me the green light to proceed with my schtick, please bear with me now as I'd like to lighten the spirits around here tonight....So I will start with a few jokes to warm you up.... What do mopeds and fat ladies have in common? 

They're both a great ride until someone sees you on one.

Did you hear why Rosie O'Donnell got arrested?



Airport security lifted up her dress and found 200 pounds of crack.

How do you know that Keira Knightley doesn't exist?


Because the camera adds 10 pounds.

What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?


About three pounds, including the urn.

Yo' Mama is so skinny, she can hula-hoop with a Fruit Loop!

What do you call the space between Pamela Anderson's breasts?
Silicon Valley.

A reporter remarked to George W. Bush: "It must be something, knowing that you put the Bush legacy back into the oval office."
"Thanks to Bill Clinton," replied George. "Bush never left the office."

....so sorry Hillary, but he's just too good to pass by!

Most wives whose husbands fool around have to worry about their husbands getting AIDS from sex.
Hillary just has to worry about her husband getting sex from aides.

Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers?


To keep his ankles warm.

What do President Bush and President Clinton have in common?
They both let ##### do the thinking.

Why was Christina Aquilera surprised when she looked at her driver's license?
She had an 'F' in sex.

Jean Claude Van Dam, Steven Segal, and Arnold Schwarzenagger all decide to go out trick-or-treating as musical composers for Halloween. They go into a costume store and look for masks. Jean Claude sees a costume that he likes and says, "I think I'll go as Beethoven." Steven Segal sees a costume that grabs his attention and says, "I'll be Mozart." Arnold had a tough time finding a costume that he liked, but he eventually found one that appeased his interest. He picks up a costume and said, "I'll be Bach."

What is Homer Simpson's favorite ice cream?
Chocolate-chip cookie DOH!
You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.

Did you hear about Dolly Parton passing out on stage?
It took four guys to carry her off -- two abreast.

One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, ''How much is the yellow one?''
The assistant says, ''$2000.'' The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive. The assistant explains, ''This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast.''
''What about the green one?'' the man asks.
The assistant says, ''He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes.''
''What about the red one?'' the man asks.
The assistant says, ''That one's $10,000.''
The man says, ''What does HE do?''
The assistant says, ''I don't know, but the other two call him boss.''

What did one casket say to the sick casket?


Is that you coughin'?

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself. ~Roseanne

A woman walks in to a tattoo parlor and tells the artist she would like two tatoos, one of Robert Redford on her left upper thigh, and one of Paul Newman on her right thigh. After hours of work the tatoo artist is finished and holds a mirror in between the womans legs for her to view. 
The woman says,'' I dont know if these really look like Paul & Robert, and I ain't payin for this if it isn't right!'' She tells the artist she will go just outside the buisness and ask someone walking down the street if they know who the two men are on her thighs, if they answer correctly she would pay the artist. 
She soon sees a man walking down the street, so she pulls up her skirt and asks him, '' Can you tell me who the man on my right thigh and the man on my left thigh are?'' 
The man replies, '' I dunno, but the one in the middle looks like Willie Nelson....

Let the tomato's fly!