LAST EDITED ON 02-17-11 AT 03:42 PM (EST)

Friends and fellow spoilers , it is I again. And, although I am a straight man, I am dodging the US Marshals Office (they have a subpoena for me) so I once again I have to disguise myself as MissyPissy, a trisexual 18YO nymphet. I am writing, naked, skin dewy from ocean spray and a heavy application of coconut oil, in full view of the beach road down below, on the sundeck of my penthouse apartment overlooking an ocean which cannot be named right now due to security concerns. However if I were to look Northwest, and could see several thousand miles, I would be able to see Russia.

For those of you who read last week’s MissyPissy spoilering and might have been concerned about the Feds catching onto my disguise, you should be reassured. If they are all like Phillip, well, dude can’t even find his pants.

And I bring you glad tidings of a spoilering nature. I have it on good authority that Mike’s man crush deepens, and he will be caught by the night shift camera man running his fingers thru the impressive pelt of a slumbering Rooster (aka *Steel Wool). Also, Rooster will decide to go sin ropa (ala Richard Hatch), and no one will notice, although they will ask him why he decided to wear fur overalls in Nicaragua. Fortunately for them, they haven’t a clue. And fortunately for him, the monkeys haven’t noticed him yet.

On to Spoilering:

Clue #1 – Blurring. There will be blurring. This week there will be asscrack blurring, and my source hints at a possible "nip" blur as well. Unfortunately, there is also a possibility of a Phillip "tip" blur, so be prepared for an involuntary gag reflex.

Clue #2 – Reward Challenge. There will be two teams involved and they will struggle mightily against each other, one team will edge out the other and earn a reward for their camp.

Clue #3 – Rob and Russell will be featured. Russell’s baby fat will still be evident, and he will talk about his bitches and how he’s going to run them. Rob will be featured running his mouth, and no one will steal his Boston Red Sox cap. Are there no Yankee fans with balls this year, you ask? The source says no. Neither is there anyone with the snap to realize what that cap would being on EBay.

Clue #4 - On Redemption Island, Francesca (or Fracksa as it’s listed in the local FBI files. Actually, that’s the phonetic spelling, the actual pronunciation contains consonants that have no representation in the English or French languages) will be digging punji pits and setting dead man traps in anticipation of her upcoming duel. The next evictee should also be anticipating a thin neck high wire stretched across the entrance to the Island.

She will develop a training program that will involve bayonet dummies named Phillip.

Clue #5 - Phillip will attempt to talk coconuts out of palm trees, citing his expertise in coconut profiling. He however will be frustrated by the constant interruptions from the Howler monkeys. Even the monkeys are rolling on the floor laughing their asses off at this dude. For those of you who might have been afraid that someone would steal his briefs, never fear, it will be safe to watch this episode.

Finally, concerning Phillip. It will be revealed that as part of his preparation for Survivor, Phillip attended a strategy and sanity refresher course given by Coach. In his own private Idaho.

Clue #6 – Steve will still be searching for his helmet.

(week three sneak peek – There will be Yeti and Sasquatch references)

Until next week (and if the Feds are all as clueless as Phillip I’m pretty sure I’ll be here), this is your not-Russell inside source wishing all a Good Spoil!