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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
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"Be The... PirateMaster 1.6"
tribephyl 9688 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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07-06-07, 01:40 AM (EST)
 
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"Be The... PirateMaster 1.6" |
*ding ding* Pirates to the quarter deck please!Looks like the great ozzyooglymoogly likes the idea of themed episodes, so we're gonna stick with it.
This week we'll be concentrating on the battles of the sexes.
The Oafs versus the Waifs. Let's get started shall we? We'll open on the Cap'n's Triad. A group of three guys who prefer to play only with each other rather than with anyone else on the ship. (Thank goodness for them their isn't four guys in their group.)
Then we'll skip to a scene of Cap'n Laz-myth, snoring away while all the women swab the decks.
Then go to the Cap'n half mumbling in englinese a string of non-sequitors in front of his mortal enemy JoeDumb. Who grunts in return, something of an agreement. Or was it not an agreement. (I can only read caveman, but can't really translate it orally. So I couldn't tell.) Now to focus on the Waifs. There's Joy, who still can't seem to do her breast er best. And Kendra who is particularly good at sucking. Jupiter the cook. Oh and Nessa, she's the beetch in heat.
Then, there's Christa! *singing angels*
The lovely Christa. The one every is envious of. She sits in her high bed with a golden glow surrounding her lovely form extolling words of wisdom while the other waifs enjoy a tea party they've started on the floor.
Naturally the conversation turns to discussing what the world would be like if women ruled the world. The women all agree it would be wonderful. JoeDon just nods. Wait? How'd he get in here? Cut. Okay. Take a moment to consider what this all means...
It's now a ship devided by gender.
The men doing their manly typed things like making a mountain out of a molehill, speaking before thinking and communicating in grunts and nods.
Then we have the women all catty and coniving, speaking pleasentries while stabbiong you in the back and remaining barefoot in the kitchen. To ground everyone, let's make sure to sneak in a couple shots of JuanDon and Nesstle together, sharing rumsoaked saliva.
Ooo....the meeting of the sexes. And what fireworks. Then we'll watch a little bit of Laz-myths azzcrack and Louie's bumbling and fumbling. Kendra's uselessness and Joy's complaining.
Then a trio of greedy bastards and a couple of weepy hugging sisters. Looks like the black marks are going to Joy, Kendra and JD.
Of course JD doesn't need to worry as he stupidly spends a big chunk of dough on a very useless item. The pardon goes unused and JD goes back to his hoochies waiting arms. That leaves Kendra and Joy. And frankly, I think you should both be kicked off.
And in the interest of saving time...I'm just gonna do it. BOTH of you have been removed from this show!
Cut their ropes! Hurry! Yo' Snoozmyth! Wake up and cut the ropes! Aw' c'mon mark. Let me just do it this once. Allright fine. Joy, you received the most votes, it's time for you to go. Alas, I hardly miss ye'. Well folks. The lesson to be learned from this entire episode dedicated to the Oafs versus Waifs debate can be summed up in one small sentence.
"Never bet on black."
You can call me Daddobot.
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Spanky68 8092 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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07-06-07, 12:29 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: Be The... PirateMaster 1.6" |
Joy. I like you and all. But you are a drag in the challenges.Kendra. Your slowness is slower than slow. Joe Don, I don't think even these morons are braindead enough to vote off the strongest chance they have to oust me. Wait..did I say that out loud?!?! What I meant to say was: "Joe Don, you are a guy. Why shouldn't these beautiful lasses vote you off to make sure that more money goes to women. Did you realize that female pirates only make 58 cents for every dollar that male pirates make? THAT is unfair. Now here before you stands the chief perpetrator of that theft. Who but Joe Don has taken the most money unfairly from poor women and children (wink at Christa)?!?! Rise against your cruel overlords and cut Joe Don adrift as the scurvy, testosterone-addled curr that he is!!!" Well, that is what I MEANT to say. 
could these people be any more clueless? How much of a moron do I have to be to extol JD's virtue and strength when I really want him gone?!?!?
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Bravehart 264 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
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07-10-07, 01:48 PM (EST)
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22. "RE: Be The... PirateMaster 1.6" |
Officer Ben and me Super Blonde Cap'n Azmyth need Kendra fer da votes, sure she's slow but we had a deal from da start! I like to keeps em dumb on me crew....how else is I going to get da booty??Oafs vs. Waifs arrrrg:
Five pirates and one woman wash up on a desert island after a shipwreck.
Before long they are all getting pretty horny so they all make a deal.
Each pirate will marry the woman for one week at a time, at which point the next pirate in line will marry her and so on.
All the pirates get sex every five weeks and the woman gets sex as often as she wants with a different pirate each week.
The situation works wonderfully for five years. When the woman suddenly dies...
The first week after wasn't too bad.
The second week was getting sort of bad.
The third week was getting pretty bad.
The fourth week was really bad.
The fifth week was horrible!
By the sixth week it was unbearable...
So they buried her. 
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Please pass Azmyth the salt, he's having trouble choking down both feet at once.
