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"Be The Survivor" S35 Ep04: "Shuffle up and Deal" "
kingfish 19932 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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10-19-17, 04:18 PM (EST)
 
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"Be The Survivor" S35 Ep04: "Shuffle up and Deal" " |
Welcome to episode 4 of Survivor S4274. This week the EPMB is marooned on a hilltop in Puerto Rico Aww, pobrecito! He probably only has liquid in the form of wine stored in his cellar to keep him from total dehydration, and only the protein in the massive supply of prime rib steaks in his freezer to fend off starvation. He only has enough diesel to power his generator for a year or two if he limits running the A/c for 23.5 hours a day, and not much longer unless he plugs in his solar array, so he panicked and filled his moat with alligators as a survival precaution.But in spite of his wish (yeah yeah, his demand, whatever) that I stay away from his cabana here in Fiji, I carded the lock and am presently with my feet up on his $5,000 ottoman, watching the Astro's game on his 65" TV, sipping his expensive French champagne, munching my way thru a gallon of beluga caviar, and ignoring him. He's got his thing (wrapping his arms around his possessions in Puerto Rico), and I've got mine. And as much of his as I can haul on my Vespa chopper. But as a favor to him for letting me steal gifting me with all this stuff, including the Monet which I just know he would have given me if he were here, I start the "Be the..." thread this week. It's fun in the sun all week, and is also clothing optional.
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kingfish 19932 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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10-19-17, 05:17 PM (EST)
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1. "RE: Be The Survivor" S35 Ep04: "Shuffle up and Deal" " |
Hello out there in Survivor land, Nasty McBathrooms here bringing you the fittest and finest spoilers right from the mouths of the dumbest players in Survivor history, and where the coconuts keep falling on my head, they keep falling, and there's just one thing I know, and that this that this year we have broken the record for dumbass players. It was a low bar to begin with, but, impossible as it seems, they managed to lower it. An unbroken train of messenger turtles from my Squeal Operation Team #sex who have been working over time, 16 hour shifts, because they pride themselves on their training at the Really Really Raunchy Lady's Finishing School for Putting Lipstick on the Little Piggy People on Survivor island, and making them into Pavolian pets, have been arriving with each high tide. So, let's wheel out some of these Pavlovian Piggy Pet People Spoilers; Pavlovian Piggy Pet People Spoiler #1; This is the last time I'm going to release this as a spoiler because it has become too predictable. Cole is a blabbermouth. Jessica got a Super Spoiler in her bag of chips. She obviously received some brain damage during the week, possibly in the form of a coconut falling on her head, because she proceded to tell Cole. The last time Cole had a secret he immediately blabbed. In spite of knowing this and being dismayed by his lack of tongue control last week, she told Cole her secret. And he immediately blabbed to some others tribe members who in turn informed the rest of the tribe. Just like last week when Cole spread a secret that was just between those two, Jessica was again miffed. But really, she has no one to blame but herself. And possibly her brain damage. Pavlovian Piggy Pet People Spoiler #2; Chrissy receives a new buff of her new tribe, and immediately crosses herself.
(Chrissy, there is no God in survivor.) Pavlovian Piggy Pet People Spoiler #3; Roark hopes everyone on her new tribe will be friendly.
(Roark, there are no friends on Survivor.) Pavlovian Piggy Pet People Spoiler #4; Ryan ends up on a tribe with Chrissy. And he tells her on a walk to the water well that he was her benefactor, he was the one that gave her the first hidden Super idol. She is grateful. She hugs Ryan. Now, as witnessed by millions of viewers, Ryan has a relationship. He got that cherry popped. His next cherry popping will be when she tells him about her husband (an ex-marine sniper, I believe) and her three kids. Pavlovian Piggy Pet People Spoiler #5; Devon gets a punch in the nuts during the RC from a handle on a challenge apparatus. Pavlovian Piggy Pet People Spoiler #6; Yowch! (see above). Must be where his brains reside, because once again he pulled a "Devon" when he neglected to read the fine print on an HI. The fine print that said if he used the idol at TC, he would not be able to vote. It's not known if his benefactor (Jessica) knew about the fine print before she willed it to him, but based on her previous numbskull play of informing Cole about the HI, I would bet that she was unaware if it too. Pavlovian Piggy Pet People Spoiler #7; This is a cretinoid zoo folks.
Pavlovian Piggy Pet People Spoiler #8; Joe continues digging a hole to China. Now his previous ally Desi is deepening it for him. She did not appreciate his ham handed attempt at strategy at and before TC that rolled Desi right out in front of that proverbial bus.
Nasty McBathrooms
If it's yellow, it's mellow. If it's brown, flush it down. Also flush it if it's swimming.
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Aruba 2646 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Survivor-themed Cruise Spokesperson"
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10-19-17, 07:28 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: Be The Survivor" S35 Ep04: "Shuffle up and Deal" " |
Although the Aruba Commission is newly formed, it was around when the Fab Four decided to have some fun with a rumor launching a conspiracy theory that popular bandmember Paul McCartney was dead. Sound bites turned up stating, “Turn me on, Dean Man,” “I buried Paul,” and “Paul is a dead man; miss him, miss him.” These words along with numerous “clues” in album covers and Beatle posters convinced some theorists it MUST be true. Now half a century later, despite the fact numerous Beatle classics were still being co-authored with John Lennon...he became the front man for the Wings after the Beatles breakup...he earned 18 Grammys (six as a soloist) and was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame first as a member of the Beatles and AGAIN as a solo act, some fans still hang onto the theory that some look-a-like imposter for 50 years could be capable of all those accomplishments. We now proceed to the modern-day Survivor conspiracy theorists, hence the formation of the Aruba Commission and its episode #4 findings:
FINDING #1 The bonding of Ryan and Chrissy could be a formidable duo this season. Conspiracy theorists may cry “foul” and contend this power couple was preconceived and scripted into the season via the tribal switch. The Commission concludes Ryan was among the first to select his new buff, and about a dozen castaways later Chrissy was next to last in completing this random selection process. That’s one hellava “script,” but keep those theories coming and we’ll continue to “bury Paul.”
FINDING #2 The Commission is outraged that Desi and Ali show up to challenges wearing LONG PANTS? This is a travesty! It is not only understandable to cover stick legs like Ryan’s or ham hocks like Lauren’s, but should be required. Nothing more than briefs should be allowed for these beauties to showcase their shapely curves. If scraped knees and bruised shins are concerns, then apply for “Cooks vs. Cons.” FINDING #3 More suggestive innuendos. During the IC, a female voice could be heard on the Blue Tribe shouting, “It’s tight, it’s tight.” Followed by a male voice from the same tribe responding, “Yank it.”
The FCC is now conducting a full investigation. FINDING #4 In the NHL, embellishment is a penalty—you get two minutes in the box for that infraction. The extreme at which Chrissy is exhibiting should be a ten-minute major. Her reaction to the “new look” Hustler tribe with Patrick voted out at the last TC was nauseating. Like she really was so emotionally involved over Patrick’s boot? Are we going to find out SHE may have known Patrick beforehand as well? When Jeff had everyone drop their buffs, Edvard Munch could have used Chrissy’s face as a model for “The Scream” masterpiece painting. It’s not like the tribal switch is an unexpected twist no one could have seen coming. Any further exaggerated antics on Chrissy’s part and the Commission may have to impose a game misconduct.
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Aruba 2646 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Survivor-themed Cruise Spokesperson"
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10-19-17, 09:08 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: Be The Survivor" S35 Ep04: "Shuffle up and Deal" " |
>Counter-point #1 - The players' name
>was written on each wrap.
> Conveniently from a story
>perspective, Jessica and Cole wound
>up together as did Alan
>and Lauren.
And you know as an undisputed fact the player's names were written on each wrap??? The Commission's finding--100% opinion based on 0% fact. Your far-fetched conspiracy has taken on a whole new level.
>Counter-point #2 - The commisionner should
>show more restraint; his remarks
>border on sexual harassment and
>this is a bad time
>for saying the wrong thing.
If Production can get away with Counter-point #3, this Commission will make no apologies to you. What are you going to do??? Get law enforcement Sluggo to apprehend the Commission?
>Counter-point #3 - Jiffy has been
>using large poles, big balls,
>ropes and many more suggestive
>objects since day 1 so
>why are you suddenly surprised?
I guess you need to be reminded the Commission was formed only a couple weeks ago, so that's way the "sudden" findings.
>Counter-point #4 - Those reactions were
>scripted for your benefit.
I'll respond to this one with one statement...
IIIIIIIIII BURIEEEEEEED PAAAAAUL! LMAO
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Aruba 2646 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Survivor-themed Cruise Spokesperson"
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10-20-17, 05:12 AM (EST)
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6. "RE: Be The Survivor" S35 Ep04: "Shuffle up and Deal" " |
Had you said you actually saw names written on the wraps, the Commission would have dismissed it. For the record, you made the Commission laugh before it talked.Your "Fact 1" is why conspiracy theories will always stand the test of time and linger on for centuries. The key word in your "Fact 2" is OFTEN.
The Commission resolves this as inconsistent and provides the much needed "wiggle room" theorists use to hang onto their unproven opinions. The Commission has determined "berry" could very easily be mistaken for "buried." "Sauce" and "Paul" not so much..."S" for "P?" Nope, although they both have an "au." But NO WAY can anyone spin "Cran" for "I." So nice try. Try this line on for size...
"TURN ME ON DEAD MAN" Rattle the Commission's chain with another bogus interpretation.
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michel2 2261 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Seventeen Magazine Model"
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10-24-17, 07:37 PM (EST)
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13. "RE: Be The Survivor" S35 Ep04: "Shuffle up and Deal" " |
Actually the Beatles did no such thing, denying the rumor every chance they had until they simply gave up and let the loonies rave on. Those people imagined those clues and messages all on their own. Why am I not surprised you are on their side?
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Aruba 2646 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Survivor-themed Cruise Spokesperson"
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10-24-17, 07:52 PM (EST)
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14. "RE: Be The Survivor" S35 Ep04: "Shuffle up and Deal" " |
Of course they denied it...for the reason stated above. Actually it is YOU who is on their side believing the "cranberry sauce" backpedal. They managed to sell that one to some, but had no answer for the other messages that were NOT imagined.
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michel2 2261 desperate attention whore postings
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10-24-17, 07:35 PM (EST)
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12. "RE: Be The Survivor" S35 Ep04: "Shuffle up and Deal" " |
It's a conspiracy! The commission has been hijacked by protestors who want more transparency.
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