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"Be The Survivor: S30 Ep07: "Draw A Squiggly Line""
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RollDdice 5733 desperate attention whore postings
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04-01-15, 09:45 PM (EST)
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"Be The Survivor: S30 Ep07: "Draw A Squiggly Line""

The Survivor contestants are defrocked as it were, as collars come off and the 'Mergency puts everyone into one big happy but lumpy family. Fortunately, the wise and charismatic Rodney is here to guide 'Merica through the choppy waters of change using his sweet disposition, reasonable logic and powers of persuasion.

There's also a slippery Pole Challenge, but according to Coconut Bob and Raunch-a-Roni Raunchettes, it's on the wrong axis for any real fun.



Mark "Cholera is more fun than these Collars" Burnett
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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 Speaking of slippery poles... tribephyl 04-01-15 1
 RE: Be The Survivor: S30 Ep07: "Dra... suzzee 04-02-15 2
 RE: Be The Survivor: S30 Ep07: "Dra... suzzee 04-02-15 3
 But what is that on her bikini, any... kingfish 04-02-15 4
   RE: But what is that on her bikini,... suzzee 04-02-15 5
   RE: But what is that on her bikini,... tribephyl 04-05-15 6
       The all purpose Merica! suzzee 04-06-15 7
   RE: But what is that on her bikini,... kingfish 04-07-15 8

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tribephyl 11424 desperate attention whore postings
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04-01-15, 11:47 PM (EST)
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1. "Speaking of slippery poles..."

Ride the bacon, bitches! Ride the bacon!
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suzzee 5737 desperate attention whore postings
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04-02-15, 11:32 AM (EST)
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2. "RE: Be The Survivor: S30 Ep07: "Draw A Squiggly Line""
Does biggest blindside mean the most people blindsided at once?
The winners are: Dan, Mike, Rodney, Sierra and I think Will qualifies for a double blindside. Not only from his lone Hali vote but from the True Blues who told him they were voting for her as well.

Congrats to Jenn for properly using the HII on all their a$$es.


Bring on the carnage.

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suzzee 5737 desperate attention whore postings
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04-02-15, 11:45 AM (EST)
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3. "RE: Be The Survivor: S30 Ep07: "Draw A Squiggly Line""
Sherin: (excitedly) Dan, want me to pee on your foot? Please, pretty please?

Dan: (with resignation) No Sherin, I already did that.

Audience: (grossed out) EWWWW!



Bring on the carnage.

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kingfish 18185 desperate attention whore postings
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04-02-15, 03:08 PM (EST)
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4. "But what is that on her bikini, anyway? "
LAST EDITED ON 04-04-15 AT 10:59 AM (EST)

And what's with that grin?

The Beauty and the Brains, Jenn the genius.

Coconut Bob here, with the newest, and as you've come to expect, the bestest, spoilers.

Just canít get enough of old Coconut Bob, can you! So, stop trying. Stop it right now. This is good stuff, and is brought to you for such a low price, how can anyone say no?

After all, we have the slinkiest, sexiest, and snarkiest undergraduates, graduates, and a passel of very lucky interns from RRR R (really really really raunchy) Girls finishing school of hopped up Vespa maintenance and pointy stick poking doing anything this side of murder to get these spoiler weaseled out of the cast and production crew. The late night cameramen are especially helpful, it being late at night and all when they think no one is looking, then they get the really really really good spoilers, Some of which are sold to representatives of a certain clothing optional industry based in California. They only get the culls, however, I will always reserve the lustiest spoilers for you, my devoted audience. Just keep paying your dues, Paypal preferred, bitcoins not so much.

Coconut Bobís Spoiler #1: Mikeís secret is out. He got drunk on sacramental wine one night at an after church party and let a monk tattoo his back. The monk was obviously pretty lit too, and added the passage "Let they Rod and they Staff Comfort you" below Mike's panty line after he passed out. Party on, Garth!


Coconut Bobís Spoiler #2: The comedy continues, and the punch lines keep coming. Rod, feeling disrespected when his tribe doesnít follow his orders, vows to get his revenge on Mike, Dan, and Sierra.

Which means that those three are safe as can be.

Witness the outcome of Rodís vowing so far:

1. His plan to take his bromance buddy Joaquin to the end. Joaquin is booted at next TC. Rod is backdoored and his plan was thwarted.
2. His plan to boot Joe so that his alliance (BCs) will have the numbers. Joe wins Immunity. So that plan is thwarted.
3. His plan to boot Jenn. Jenn plays her IC, and Rodís ally Kelly is booted instead. Two plans (the Jenn boot plan and the plan for BC to be dominate numbers-wise) thwarted.

It actually might be more satisfying watching Bumbling Rodís plans fall thru that it would be to see him booted. And the best strategy for everyone else is to try and be Rodís target.

Coconut Bobís Spoiler #3: It remains a mystery what Jenn actually said to Jeff when she got stung while holding on to her pole. Iím pretending for PG sake that she said ďI got stung on my upper inner thigh parts, Jeff.Ē Later she was to hear to utter ďand it hurts so goodĒ. Apparently Nicaraguan bee venom has a pretty cool side effect as it wears off.


Coconut Bobís Spoiler #4: Meanwhile, Kelly reveals that she is undercover with the no-panties/no-collar tribe. Which as it turns out, is literally true as revealed by the previously mentioned night cameramen. Kelly was there to orally remove Jennís bee sting venom (she learned how to do that during those all girl all night desert camping trips, you see), pausing occasionally when Jennís cries of delight disturbed the monkeys. Jenn is a screamer. Apparently that bee is really making the rounds according to the other cast members who also claim to be bee stung. Kelly had a few very busy and sleepless nights according to her book, "The Time of My Life".

That bump on Kellyís head? The one that she claims that she got during a challenge? The one that looks like a headboard injury?

Coconut Bobís Spoiler #5: Now Mike can trust Will because he voted for Hali. I can only hope for the sake of my entertainment that Will is wilier that he seems, and that heís setting Mike up. Unfortunately things rarely turnout as I would hope, but maybeÖ?

Coconut Bobís Spoiler #6: The IC is the big pole challenge. The girls squeal with delight. Add your own punch line.

Coconut Bobís Spoiler #7: Speaking of Rod, who drops out of the IC before any of the women. Obviously weíve been misled as to what he meant by ďHold girls to a higher standardĒ. He actually meant that he should be a wuss.


Coconut Bobís Spoiler #8: Contrary to speculation, no one is aware yet that that Mike threw the previous IC, and he has yet to pay the price for that.


Coconut Bobís Spoiler #9: Jenn is a genius. Actually, compared to this group, your random beach crab could be considered a genius. But kudos anyway.

Coconut Bobís Spoiler #10: So, Shirin has never heard ĎAmericaí pronounced ĎMericaí? We can infer from that that either Shirin is loopy, or that she has never heard GW Bush speak, and has never been to Texas, and has never heard SNL alum Will Ferrellís Bush take off.

Iíd vote ĎLoopyí.


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suzzee 5737 desperate attention whore postings
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04-02-15, 04:26 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: But what is that on her bikini, anyway? "
Sir Bobby baby!

Coconut Bobís Spoiler #1:
I believe that tattoo read "Let Rod and his Staff Southern Comfort You" but then again I'm guessing here.

Coconut Bobís Spoiler #2: Ah HA!! So season 30 is totally spoiled by the Rod-fadder's madness method.

Coconut Bobís Spoiler #3: Not going near this one Bob dear.

Coconut Bobís Spoiler #4: What happens in Merica stays in Merica.

Coconut Bobís Spoiler #5: Will predicted that Jiffy was going to be voted off. Spoiler averted.

Coconut Bobís Spoiler #6: And Joe wins.

more later, gotta do some work stuff...


Bring on the carnage.

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tribephyl 11424 desperate attention whore postings
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04-05-15, 09:28 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: But what is that on her bikini, anyway? "
That bump on Kellyís head? The one that she claims that she got during a challenge? The one that looks like a headboard injury?
Which means Kelly is a Top.

The IC is the big pole challenge. The girls squeal with delight. Add your own punch line.
No Peanut Butter needed. (Although, if you want to...)

He actually meant that he should be a wuss.
Who shouldn't be expected to keep his pecker out of the ash. Oh wait, I thought we were talking about woodpeckers.

Shirin has never heard ĎAmericaí pronounced ĎMericaí?
"'Merica", Farsi for "Never Heard Of". As in, I've 'Merica'd that before.

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suzzee 5737 desperate attention whore postings
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04-06-15, 10:32 AM (EST)
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7. "The all purpose Merica!"
As a greeting: WTF Merica?

As a way to stop conversations: Hold up there Merica.

Song titles: Merica da bootiful


Bring on the carnage.

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kingfish 18185 desperate attention whore postings
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04-07-15, 08:30 AM (EST)
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8. "RE: But what is that on her bikini, anyway? "
LAST EDITED ON 04-07-15 AT 12:47 PM (EST)

Spoiler #3: My guess is that she was trying out speaking in the King's English. So from the book of British to 'Merican translations, she actually says "What the hell do you think, Jeff, you ignorant slut, I got that bee up my bonnet."

Which is British for, well, you know.

No, not "hat". Also no, not "hood of car". It's where she had her HI stashed. Which answers that question too, BTW.

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