LAST EDITED ON 04-04-15 AT 10:59 AM (EST)

And what's with that grin?

The Beauty and the Brains, Jenn the genius.

Coconut Bob here, with the newest, and as you've come to expect, the bestest, spoilers.

Just can’t get enough of old Coconut Bob, can you! So, stop trying. Stop it right now. This is good stuff, and is brought to you for such a low price, how can anyone say no?

After all, we have the slinkiest, sexiest, and snarkiest undergraduates, graduates, and a passel of very lucky interns from RRR R (really really really raunchy) Girls finishing school of hopped up Vespa maintenance and pointy stick poking doing anything this side of murder to get these spoiler weaseled out of the cast and production crew. The late night cameramen are especially helpful, it being late at night and all when they think no one is looking, then they get the really really really good spoilers, Some of which are sold to representatives of a certain clothing optional industry based in California. They only get the culls, however, I will always reserve the lustiest spoilers for you, my devoted audience. Just keep paying your dues, Paypal preferred, bitcoins not so much.

Coconut Bob’s Spoiler #1: Mike’s secret is out. He got drunk on sacramental wine one night at an after church party and let a monk tattoo his back. The monk was obviously pretty lit too, and added the passage "Let they Rod and they Staff Comfort you" below Mike's panty line after he passed out. Party on, Garth!

Coconut Bob’s Spoiler #2: The comedy continues, and the punch lines keep coming. Rod, feeling disrespected when his tribe doesn’t follow his orders, vows to get his revenge on Mike, Dan, and Sierra.

Which means that those three are safe as can be.

Witness the outcome of Rod’s vowing so far:

1. His plan to take his bromance buddy Joaquin to the end. Joaquin is booted at next TC. Rod is backdoored and his plan was thwarted.
2. His plan to boot Joe so that his alliance (BCs) will have the numbers. Joe wins Immunity. So that plan is thwarted.
3. His plan to boot Jenn. Jenn plays her IC, and Rod’s ally Kelly is booted instead. Two plans (the Jenn boot plan and the plan for BC to be dominate numbers-wise) thwarted.

It actually might be more satisfying watching Bumbling Rod’s plans fall thru that it would be to see him booted. And the best strategy for everyone else is to try and be Rod’s target.

Coconut Bob’s Spoiler #3: It remains a mystery what Jenn actually said to Jeff when she got stung while holding on to her pole. I’m pretending for PG sake that she said “I got stung on my upper inner thigh parts, Jeff.” Later she was to hear to utter “and it hurts so good”. Apparently Nicaraguan bee venom has a pretty cool side effect as it wears off.

Coconut Bob’s Spoiler #4: Meanwhile, Kelly reveals that she is undercover with the no-panties/no-collar tribe. Which as it turns out, is literally true as revealed by the previously mentioned night cameramen. Kelly was there to orally remove Jenn’s bee sting venom (she learned how to do that during those all girl all night desert camping trips, you see), pausing occasionally when Jenn’s cries of delight disturbed the monkeys. Jenn is a screamer. Apparently that bee is really making the rounds according to the other cast members who also claim to be bee stung. Kelly had a few very busy and sleepless nights according to her book, "The Time of My Life".

That bump on Kelly’s head? The one that she claims that she got during a challenge? The one that looks like a headboard injury?

Coconut Bob’s Spoiler #5: Now Mike can trust Will because he voted for Hali. I can only hope for the sake of my entertainment that Will is wilier that he seems, and that he’s setting Mike up. Unfortunately things rarely turnout as I would hope, but maybe…?

Coconut Bob’s Spoiler #6: The IC is the big pole challenge. The girls squeal with delight. Add your own punch line.

Coconut Bob’s Spoiler #7: Speaking of Rod, who drops out of the IC before any of the women. Obviously we’ve been misled as to what he meant by “Hold girls to a higher standard”. He actually meant that he should be a wuss.

Coconut Bob’s Spoiler #8: Contrary to speculation, no one is aware yet that that Mike threw the previous IC, and he has yet to pay the price for that.

Coconut Bob’s Spoiler #9: Jenn is a genius. Actually, compared to this group, your random beach crab could be considered a genius. But kudos anyway.

Coconut Bob’s Spoiler #10: So, Shirin has never heard ‘America’ pronounced ‘Merica’? We can infer from that that either Shirin is loopy, or that she has never heard GW Bush speak, and has never been to Texas, and has never heard SNL alum Will Ferrell’s Bush take off.

I’d vote ‘Loopy’.

Sir Bobby baby!

Coconut Bob’s Spoiler #1:
I believe that tattoo read "Let Rod and his Staff Southern Comfort You" but then again I'm guessing here.

Coconut Bob’s Spoiler #2: Ah HA!! So season 30 is totally spoiled by the Rod-fadder's madness method.

Coconut Bob’s Spoiler #3: Not going near this one Bob dear.

Coconut Bob’s Spoiler #4: What happens in Merica stays in Merica.

Coconut Bob’s Spoiler #5: Will predicted that Jiffy was going to be voted off. Spoiler averted.

Coconut Bob’s Spoiler #6: And Joe wins.

more later, gotta do some work stuff...

Bring on the carnage.