LAST EDITED ON 11-16-12 AT 07:39 PM (EST)
Hello once again. From Spoiler Central I have the zappiest in zany zingers, the best beach bunny sleuthing and the looniest loser news.
The Very Raunchy Girl's school is running out of funds so my precious and thoroughly raunchy nubile students are out hustling (with a capital HUSTLE) money. There are a few banks that weren't hit in the last fundraising drive, so I think it's a safe bet that our coffers will soon be overflowing once again.
Until then, all we have are the scoops on the spoilers. There is a reason why the rest of the spoiler world copies us (without paying royalties), and that's because we are the best. And, of course, most naked. Here we go:
Spoiler #1: Question of the week – Will Church lady be sent to Ponderosa to breakup the tryst between RC and Jeff Kent? No.
Or will Abi Marie be sent there to poison everybody’s coconut daiquiris? Again, no. Not yet anyway.
Artis Sylvester, aka Sam Jackson, will be the non-survivor sent down the slippery slope to Loser’s Island. Sorry Sam, but you just didn't create enough hatred or spew enough vitriol to allow the producers reason enough to keep you.
BTW, the fact that yours truly is the only source to uncover Artis's real identity should tell you something about just how good we are.
Spoiler #2: Observation: Denise. Still the fittest (if gauntest – Oh My Heck, I've seen pictures of 30’s Appalachian folk that looked less gaunt) and most dynamic little bundle of muscle on the island. Props to Denise.
Spoiler #3: Jonathan “Call me Normal” Penner will try his best to convince Lisa not to vote to oust him. Lisa, described by a very un-strategic Abi Maria as gullible and easy to manipulate, will sway to the magic cloud of words from Svengali Penner. Penner will also try and cast a confusion spell on Mike “Coconut lumps” Skupin.
Spoiler #4: Denise will have an series of involuntary knee bending toe curling orgasms when she sees the Reward Challenge mudpit.
Spoiler #5: Abi Marie will sit out the RC challenge. Again. She will accuse Probst of betraying her. She'll get so mad she'll try and vote to evict Jeff. Then kill him. Then eat him.
Spoiler #6: BTW, Abi Maria is the Ipanema girl.
Spoiler #7: Mike “10 thumbs – oops, make that 9” Skupin exhibits extraordinary eye-hand coordination and wins the Immunity challenge. Repeating for those that just fainted...
Spoiler #8: In the “No longer a surprise or a spoiler” category, Abi Maria manages to shoot her alliance in the foot at TC. Again.
Tribe got his Tribe of Titans together and made this tremendously terrific tribal totem.