kawyar ~ DING! DING! DING! I think you nailed it with the your statements about Niambi:

>>>"As a former Olympian athlete, her life would have been totally regimented and routined to death. Now she's in the SO house without the same structure and the adjustment is hard for her.

If other aspects of normal growing up, e.g., making mistakes and forgiving herself, developing social skills, etc., were repressed also, it's no wonder that Niambi seems to lack personality. That self-control and self-discipline are still evident, however there's not much direction given to her to explore herself further."<<<

Remember Vanessa Atler, the gymnast from last year? She had many of the same issues and problems as Niambi. My daughter spent 15 yrs consumed with the sport of gymnastics herself. We loved the discipline, the drive, the falling & failing and getting back up to keep fighting, setting goals and doing what it takes to achieve them, the time management skills needed, and soooo many of the other positive lessons of being a national athlete. What we didn't realize until later was the many lessons she never had the chance to learn that are just as important. She too was completely lost when every decision, every moment, and every aspect of her life wasn't dictated by her athletic career. She had to make decisions while in the sport but it usually consisted of how the choices she made affected her scores and performance. When she decided to not continue the sport in college she really didn't know what to do with herself. The sport had always been formost in her mind. And the successes didn't give her the confidence in anything else. Like Niambi, she was known by everyone by what she did. She felt lost and invisible when she was just another face in the crowd. And we've seen the same lost expressions, poor decision making, and amazing lack of self-confidence in most of her fellow teammates and friends from the sport when they are out, even more so in some that went on to become huge college stars. Thankfully our daughter learned most of those lessons she missed earlier within the 1st couple yrs in college and found herself and her many other strengths.

Actually, even though it hurts to see Niambi hanging on to someone who can't possibly really care about her feelings, I am glad to see her question some of what she is hearing from Iyanla. She has spent her life saying "Yes sir" & "yes ma'am" to her coaches and the superiors in the military. She needs to learn to question "coaches" who tell her what to do and what is best for her. I hope she does learn to make good decisions and do what's best for herself ... and drops "Situation" low-life and leaves him far far behind.