When I first started watching today, I thought "Jeez, does everything have to be blamed on the father in all women's lives?"
As I thouth about it more though, I didn't feel like it was about blame but realizing where Antonia started developing these patterns.
While thinking this, I also wondered if it was important to know where the behavior came from or if it's just important to fix it. Then I wondered if it could be fixed without knowing the root of the problem. Then I succumed to "Iyanla is far more wise than me and probably knows what she's doing". *shrugs*
I feel that this is just stage one, a foundation, and that your second paragraph is what she really needs to work on and that it will be the hardest for her because it will take the most out of her. I think she will be a tough nut to crack. It will be interesting to see what she can learn.