Hola, from down south of the border, down Old Mexico way, where the cacti prickle and the iguanas sing all day;

"Ay ay ay ay
Canta y no llores
Porque cantando se alegran
Cieltio lindo los corazones

And so on and so forth.

We recently returned from a sandy vacation in Baja. Actually a bit more sandy than we had planned, we didn't realize how deep sand could penetrate when one rolled down dunes in the nude. Not even strenuous body surfing would get it out of some of the places it reached. But not to worry, we spent hours and hours probing and probing, and now we are sand free. I did most of the probing myself, and I did not mind it a bit. It actually became a giggle-fest.

Surfing proved to be kinda awkward for my raunchy girls, something about big boobs and butts built for comfort (iykwim) throws off the center of gravity and makes for some pretty hilarious spills. Boobs over butts crashing down the crests of waves, yeee haw! We have edited a pretty funny video that we intend to show at the next Raunchy Girl School seminar.

And while we were there, well wouldn't you know it, but a by now familiar porpoise swam up with a note in it's blow hole (Editors note: OK, my girls want to know why the porpoises get to call theirs a blow hole, and my girls don't? Seems unfair, and technically incorrect...but I digress) with a note - Oh yeah, I said that - from my undisclosed and unnamed but *definitely not Hantz-ilized in anyway, source.

And so, without further delay, here are the latest and slimiest, most disgustingness and really really filthy ('cause Brandon is in them) inside spoilers:

Spoiler #1: The ever and always filthy Hantz scion went to Redemption Island to watch Don lose because she yoned and dropped the plates, then went to TC where he cried Hantz tears and voted off Cokrun. Again, the Texas Public School system cringed in horror, claiming that Brandon is actually from Louisiana, that he is home schooled, and that a dog ate his diploma.

Spoiler #2: Cochran, the self professed Survivor expert, learns what every casual Survivor fan learned on day one, that the main Survivor strategy is to not be number seven on a tribe of seven, and that the easiest way to become number seven on a tribe of seven is to betray your tribe (because they didn't treat you nice enough) and join a six member tribe.

And he is sad, nay INSULTED! when he learns that his new tribe was just using him. It just seems dishonest to him. How dare they use him in this way on the day that he told them was his birthday. Which was, of course, a lie.

DUH!!

Spoiler #3: Actually, considering Rick Nelson's spinelessness so far, Texas really doesn't have much to brag about this season. Kinda tied with Harvard for the "I Don't Know Them" alumnus award.

Spoiler #4: John Cochran is now to be called John "Liver Lips" Cochran, by one and all. Except, as mentioned, by Brandon.

Spoiler #5: Whitney cleans up real nice.

Spoiler #6: Albert gets a nick name. "Prince Albert, the Sling King". Actually he gets another one too, "Fire-Killer"

(* Disclaimer. Yeah, I know, you read a disclaimer and think it means something. It doesn't. Don't mean #####.)

Tribe really should stop falling for the "let me just hold that sig for a minute, I'll give it right back" ploy.