LAST EDITED ON 09-08-13 AT 12:07 PM (EST)

To begin the first couple of cents in the nickel tour...
Welcome to Loser Lodge: Celebrites In Vegas!
As chimp-teased at earlier, we will all be staying at the newly renovated Loser Lodge Resort.
It is located on "the strip" and is close to all the attractions.
Complete with it's own dedicated touring system known as "The Blue Line".
More on the Blue Line later...
As of recently, reservations at the Loser Lodge Resort have begun to be accepted...

Suite #s reserved: (so far...)
01: Whoopi Goldberg
06: Ron Jeremy
13: Cassandra Peterson
16: Hillary Clinton
17: Chris Hemsworth
21: Miley Cyrus
22: Johnathan Goldsmith
23: Jim Parsons
27: Jason Statham
36: Reba McEntire
41: Coco
42: Hugh Jackman

To claim a reserved suite you must complete the Celebrity Entry Phorm.

Let it also be known that Coco's Pool Bar & Grille Buffet is going through the training process and looks to be doing a "mock" or "soft open" in about a week.
This will be your chance to mingle with some of the other celebs in a casual setting, with high quality spirits, middling appetizers and low brow humor.

But to whittle away some long line time I offer you this...
YGah! Nothing like starting a party off by stating the request that animals not be harmed in the process.
Alas, this is the bane of being the lodge host and the spoonful of castor-oil for all those losers choosing to play.
But, if you think of it as the malaria shot before the trip to paradise, it will be worth it.

The Rules, Strategies and Deadlines of Loser Lodge:

A. Timeline/Deadlines
1. Loser Lodge Timeline:
   a. This "game" has basically already started. However, the Hut-Cams will begin in week 1 of the show, Sept 18th.
   b. I have a planned run of 12 Hut-Cam entries and 13 Blue Line stops with 1 Jury (nomination) Duty entry near the end of the show in mid-December.
   c. This "game" will have it's Gala Awards Show coinciding with the finale of Survivor. Therefore there won't be a lot of predicting winner-typed things. Specially about the show.
   d. While originally begun with the pretense of offering losers a game to play after losing a different Survivor game. There are no other games that I know of to get booted out of prior to this one. Therfore, everyone is invited to play.
2. Weekly HutCam entries deadline:
   a. Wednesdays at 8:00 pm BOARDTIME. With an 8:00 pm call for A Gala Presentation on a Sunday sometime in December.
3. Bonus entries deadline:
   a. The Blue Line Deadlines: All bonus deadlines will be described within each new bonus description. These may or may not follow the same deadline of the Hut-Cams or "weekly" entries.
4. Game deadline:
   a. No game deadline. Open always. Just jump on in with the HutCam. And don't forget your celebrity profile and LLPSQ&A.
   b. The first 2 weeks will be completely consequence free. After that, you can still join, but everyone will be subject to the full rules, including all penalties and windfalls.

B. Objective:
1. Three (+) objectives:
   a. Highest ending score. (Be the 'loser' with the largest pile of chips at the end and win it all!)
   b. Lowest ending score. (Be the biggest loser and somehow owe more chips then you started with. You may not win anything but I'll be making a big deal out of it. I always do.)
   c. Loser Superlatives. (Craziest Hairdo? Funniest Walk? Biggest Craps? You name it... it might be an award you can get at the end, regardless of how you did with your chips. Being outrageous, debaucherous and nefarious, has it's benefits.)

C. Points/Chips:
1. For the purposes of theme, points will be known as chips. But knowing me, I will phorget to put chips somewhere instead calling them points. But know that ALL points are Chips.
2. For the most part, they're hard to come by, but will be clearly defined in each weeks entry thread. Usually by being placed within parentheses; ().
3. Points/Chips can be won AND lost in this game. Read directions thoroughly and ask questions if necessary.
4. Points/Chips cannot be brought in from your personal or character stockpile. There will be no donating of chips from one loser to another. There will be no tipping of anyone. I pay the monkeys enough.
5. There may, however, be a smidgen of arbitary chip transfers from "management" to Celebrities, on occasion. These can be achieved usually through showing me something I've never seen before. But of course, at my age that is next to impossible.

D. The "Hut-Cam" entry:
1. The Hut-Cam itself is a small series of questions aimed at guessing some of the losery aspects of Survivor. And with this season I am promised there will be quite a few losery moments.
2. The questions will usually ask for a Yes or a No OR to name a survivor. Therefore... the words; None, No One, Everyone, All of them or any other configuration of neither a survivors name nor a yes or a no, will NOT be a valid answer.
3. If a Hut-Cam question is not answerable as it is asked, the whole question will be invalidated.
4. Every week, a Hut-Cam entry must be made. If not, it will invalidate all of your weekly chips/points. Including any chips/points you may have made in a bonus. This is going to be a biggie, I just know it, but watch out and try to remember to make your Hut-Cam entries. Every week. The earlier the better. You an always edit ...up to the deadline.
5. The harshness of the above rule is hopefully to get everyone showing up, every week. (and since I'm on the subject...)

E. Missed or late entries:
1. No one likes an OBE. Well, aside from a small sect of fetishists in SF. Let's try to keep them to a minimum.
2. OBE: Out of Body Experience (read as: Missed Hut-Cam entry) NOT to be confused with an Oobie. An Oobie is a south oceanic avian which possess large breasts, wide wings and blue feet.
3. What an OBE really means is someone who misses an entry for the week. The Penalty? You will go in hotel storage. Your score will slowly creep down according to a spreadsheet established minus-ness, every week you stay OBE, until finally there will be no record of your chips within the LL hotel system. There may, however, be a crude piecemeal cross staked into the shifting sands where you were last seen.
4. HOWEVER: I will always allow for a Hut-Cam entry by proxy. Proxy, or any other willing fellow celebrity-loser who is available. Just ask, we have some nice peeps.

F. Blue Line Intracasies:
1. The Blue Line is this season's bonus. There will be many places to visit beside sitting in Coco's day and night.
2. All those hoping to board the Blue Line will be required to pay an entry fee. The entry fee will change in chip amount depending on level of ease. There are also special passes that can be won/played to cover the cost of entrance.
3. Blue Line Bonuses, as hinted at, will run the gamut as far as discipline is concerned. But each and every one of them is where the most chips can be won (or lost).
4. Because of the variety of Blue Line stops and ... umm ... requirements ... Not only an open mind but a possibly open chip pile is needed as well. There may be times when I will waive the fee as well.

G. All the little but important stuff.
1. EPMB EPJP v. TRIBE
   a. The battle for reality game supremacy between Mark "the saboteur" Burnett Jeff "the liar" Probst and Tribe "the nefarious" Phyl will continue.
   b. MB JP attacks will happen, but for the purposes of the game, ANY questions that go unanswered (or have too many non-pluses to even count) will be voided.
2. The Loser Lodge Pre-Season Question & Answer.
   a. The LLPSQ&A will only be accepted via PM to me. DO NOT post your LLPSQ&A answers within this thread!
   b. This is a MANDATORY feature of LL and is simply a series of questions aimed at misdirection and superfluousness meant solely to possibly base future bonuses upon these results. However, I do rely on a full series of answers to derive a correct sampling of those playing in the Lodge.
   c. The answers given on the LLPSQ&A are NEVER correct or incorrect. There is the chance that some may be invalid, at which point I will contact you again until I receive a valid answer.
   d. Regardless of the surface intent or the underlying intent, ALL LLPSQ&As MUST be completed in full.
   e. To prove I am serious about the LLPSQ&As, NO POINTS WILL BE AWARDED until a completely valid LLPSQ&A is sent to and recorded by... me.
3. RESERVED SPACE: This space reserved for the inevitable rule change/addition/amendment.

Next up?
The mostly anticipated ... LLPSQ&A!
a.k.a. the Loser Lodge Pre-Season Questionnaires ... & Answers?
Hugh will host the questions, in this thread. However your answers will need to be made via PM to me.

Oh and by the way...
Hugh says that the initial insertions are tight and painful, but once you find your groove, it will beome easier and even more phun than you ever dreamed.
Again, I do ask a lot of my losers. But in return, I return the phavor by being as accomodating... wordy... nepharious... diplomatic... obteuse... innuendo-centric... arbitrary... high... phorgetphu(huh?)
... I phorgot. Must be my new water puriphier's phault!)

Please do not let the tone of the rules be the deciding factor for your employment or enjoyment.
I am a lot more lenient than my lawyers are and I promise the rest of the season will be nothing but entertaining reading.
I take the game seriously but the Lodge is MUCH more than a game.