LAST EDITED ON 08-21-11 AT 10:14 PM (EST)

To summarize:
- Jeff, Porsche and Rachel took an early lead in the HOH competion.
-Danielle tried to encourage Kalia who found her to be the worst cheerleader ever. (It probably wouldn't have bothered Kalia so much if Kalia wasn't the worst competitor ever.)
- Adam took the hardest fall directly on his @ss. His built-in cushion saved him from injury but created a small earthquake that frazzled Jordan.
- Jeff kept looking at Jordan because he found her cute in that wet unitard. Jeff must not go out often.
- Rachel realized she had to be on team Jeff because he was pulling ahead.
- Porsche wanted to find the off button for the Jeff machine. I'd suggest she show wet boobs but she doesn't think of the obvious.
- Jeff wins HOH, Rachel is upset that Kalia, Danielle and Porsche show their disappointment. She comments that at least she knows how to be a complete phoney when someone she hates wins something.

After that, we heard that Shelley only eats peanut butter and jam and doesn't know much about fine cuisine like coconut water and guacamole.

Jeff received a letter informing him that he was in charge of naming the have-nots so he chose...surprise, surprise: Porsche and Danielle because they have never been on slop and Kalia because he thinks of her like slop.

Danielle confides that she didn't do well when she was on slop in her previous season. I'd tell her that she didn't do well at all in her previous season except when she was on her father's coattails. More pity party with Porsche, Kalia and Danielle.

Jeff invited them all to visit his HOH room. I'm happy that for once, someone went beyond the script and asked them to put on their pretend happy face to go upstairs. He reads a letter from his niece and his brother. Jordan tells us that Jeff is great with his nieces just so that the audience gets more on the "we-love-Jordan-and-Jeff-bandwagon". She then took Jeff's Lucky Charm cereals and brings the box downstairs to prepare a bowl for herself. I guess there is no "cereal etiquette" in Big Brother like there is a "Banana etiquette" in Survivor.
http://funny115.com/v2/12.htm

People start filing out one by one until Jeff is left alone with Rachel but Jordan comes back in with her lucky charms. Shelley, in the kitchen with the others, says that the bimbo is always there with the new HOH so she won't have it. She goes up to ominous music. This will be a showdown...or not.

Shelley confronts Brendon's soon-to-be-nightmare, I mean wife, about her dirty looks. They air it out and Jeff is proud that Rachel bit her tongue.

Kalia has a talk with Jeff and he confrms that he will probably nominate her because she started it. Big Brother strategy for 3rd graders which is about right for jeff and Jordan.

Porsche has a talk with Jeff and he is amazed that she finally talked game with him for the first time in 49 days. I'd remind Jeff that it implies he didn't have a game talk with her and that she had a golden key for nearly 30 of those days. That would tell me he had more to gain from her than she had from him so I'd ask: Who wasted all those 49 days? But production doesn't want us to doubt Jeff's strategic skills.

Jeff then talks with Danielle, leading her to believe that she is safe and shouldn't even use the veto. We hear Danielle confiding that she could maybe trust Jeff and Jordan which I find another example of editors wanting us to admire Jeff's game brilliance.

We then have a shot of the little table and everyone exchanges high-fives for making it to the point where they have the little table. Jeff confides that he likes that they feel they have achieved something important but he is actually trying to achieve something much more important like making it to a table for two. That makes it another example of editors wanting us to drool over Jeff's determination.

It's time for nomination and Jeff kept Jordan's key for next to last while Danielle is the last to receive her key. Jeff explains his nomination by telling Kalia and Porsche he wants to see them show him that they can fight for veto. I was expecting him to end it by saying: Win that veto so that I can backdoor Dani" but he didn't quite have the balls to do so. Still, Danielle isn't blind and knows what is likely to happen. Porsche says she is mad as hell and she isn't going to take it anymore, vowing to go after Jeff if she ever wins HOH. Kalia said something also, must have been about how she doesn't get respect or something but I tuned her out.