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"Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

03-13-06, 08:33 AM (EST)
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"Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
Bringing a HG's mother in as a new HG! What a stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. This ought to send the ratings skyrocketing.

*looks at latest Arbitrons on desk*

Um, on second thought . . . we CAN retrofit this place for another Real World season, can't we? (Nary a Speedo to be found in THAT event.)


What mirror has Rhonda been standing in front ofWhy haven't I heard from Rhonda lately?

ADMINISTRIVIA:

You folks are really getting the hang of this! Glad to have an Allison sighting, and to have a Jill! WE STILL NEED A DR. STAN. Also, Christie (she unfortunately had to bow out), Melinda, and Jessica are available.

Remember to use your sigs, or at least sign off as your characters.

If you want to join in as a RECURRING character, please sign up in the signup thread before posting. That's where you'll find your sigs also.

Remember, if you're unable to post as your character for a time, just send me a note to that effect. Otherwise, I can only assume you're uninterested, which isn't fair to someone who might want to play. (TJ should be back, but Jodi's been a bit busy.)

Inanimate objects who wish to change to unclaimed HGs may do so in the signup thread. But we welcome new ones of those too (and they've been hilarious!).

Do NOT post as a character that's been claimed. Thanks.

You can post as ad hoc, one-time characters WITHOUT signing up. If you intend to reuse your character, please do sign up...thanks!

And HAVE FUN!

Non-players: THIS IS NOT A DISCUSSION THREAD. Discussion-type posts may be removed. BUT . . . You may address or ask questions of the role-players as their characters.

E-mail or PM me with any problems.

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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... Sahara 03-13-06 1
 A Vord of Varning from Dr. VantToLo... Sahara 03-13-06 2
   RE: A Vord of Varning from Dr. Vant... Cygnus X1 03-17-06 30
       RE: A Vord of Varning from Dr. Vant... Sahara 03-18-06 36
 RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... pmfmpls 03-13-06 3
 RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... susan765 03-13-06 4
   RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... justfionablue 03-13-06 5
       RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... Sahara 03-18-06 37
 RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... shelley_sargent 03-13-06 6
   RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... SOgr82bhere 03-14-06 7
   RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... Sahara 03-18-06 38
 RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... JavaT 03-14-06 8
   RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... justfionablue 03-14-06 9
       RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... turquiosedove 03-15-06 10
           RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... JavaT 03-15-06 11
               RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... turquiosedove 03-15-06 13
                   RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... GuyStartingOver 03-15-06 15
                       RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... JavaT 03-15-06 17
                           RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... Cygnus X1 03-17-06 31
           RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... Sahara 03-16-06 18
 RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... quiller 03-15-06 12
   RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... Sahara 03-15-06 14
       the beach susan765 03-15-06 16
           RE: the beach Sahara 03-16-06 20
 I'm lonely... Sahara 03-16-06 19
   RE: I'm lonely... Cygnus X1 03-18-06 34
       RE: I'm lonely... Sahara 03-18-06 39
 RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... sharnina 03-16-06 21
   RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... justfionablue 03-16-06 25
   RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... Sahara 03-18-06 40
 RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... susan765 03-16-06 22
   RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... pinksparkleguitar 03-17-06 28
 RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... lovemydogdude 03-16-06 23
   RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... SeasonedRefinement 03-16-06 24
       RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... lovemydogdude 03-17-06 26
           RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... SeasonedRefinement 03-17-06 27
 RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... pinksparkleguitar 03-17-06 29
   RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... Sahara 03-18-06 41
 RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... 26mitogo 03-18-06 32
   RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... JavaT 03-18-06 33
 RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... GuyStartingOver 03-18-06 35
   RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... lovemydogdude 03-19-06 43
 RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... Sahara 03-18-06 42
   RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... JavaT 03-20-06 44
       RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... JavaT 03-20-06 45
           RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... trikelady 03-21-06 46

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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

03-13-06, 09:27 AM (EST)
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1. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
I think Rhonda is mad at you, Mr. Murray. She is still angry about being stood up for of all people, Lisa. I have overheard some conversations with your picture above her mantel with various words I cannot repeat. And you now have a ketchup mustache...

Oh, and her face has been paralyzed in a grotesque manner due to botox injections gone awry. I know I have had to clean up glass from several broken mirrors. She has been shut up in her room sobbing, but this morning there was a huge delivery from the Acme Mirror Company, so I suspect things are better.

I suggest sending flowers to get back in her good graces.

Rhonda's Cleaning Lady


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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
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03-13-06, 11:45 AM (EST)
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2. "A Vord of Varning from Dr. VantToLookJung"
LAST EDITED ON 03-13-06 AT 11:55 AM (EST)

Ach, ladies (and a zertain vain gentleman),

Zumting haz happened zat I feel must be addressed. Due to an overzight by my nurze, Mizz Rhonda did zumting very dangerous. Zere must be a zertain amount of time between Botox injections, but, ach! It zeemz Mizz Rhonda waz very diztrezzed after zum kind of a rejection from a lover, and feeling unattractive, came a veek early for her injections. My nurze accepted a bribe (zum kind of beadz zat zay "I love me") and allowed her to get her injectionz ven it vas not advisable. Thiz caused her a very dizfigured and paralyzed faze, and at first I vas not sure it would ever vear off. But now I zee zat lovely zneer returning, zo luckily, I do not have to do a faze tranzplant. Zo pleaze, don't make the miztake Mizz Rhonda did. It iz my duty az a professional to varn you all. She haz been zeeing zumone by ze name of "Dr. Ztan" for therapy, and he zayz her caze iz no longer hopelezz.

Ach, I almozt forgot...next veek, I have a zpecial for you of two injectionz for ze price of one.

Dr. VantToLookJung

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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
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03-17-06, 05:43 PM (EST)
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30. "RE: A Vord of Varning from Dr. VantToLookJung"
LAST EDITED ON 03-19-06 AT 11:31 PM (EST)

Und heer ist Dr. VantToLookJung's picture:


Jung and the Restless.

ETA: And his sig:

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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
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03-18-06, 09:54 PM (EST)
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36. "RE: A Vord of Varning from Dr. VantToLookJung"
Now, don't be advertising this man...now everybody will want to look like me. Oh, never mind, that's right...they already did want to look like me.


Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

Especially Andy. Have you noticed she is developing some of my facial expressions? I am so proud.

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pmfmpls 149 desperate attention whore postings
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03-13-06, 01:05 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
LAST EDITED ON 03-13-06 AT 01:13 PM (EST)

Someone's MOTHER????

What the........??

I am an old smoker!! I have child-loss issues!! I have a crappy ex-husband!! IT'S BEEN DONE!!! Kim's mom ain't nothing new!!

Think MAUREEN!! NOT Melinda!!

My
Excuses
Limit me!
Instead
Nurturing
Discipline
And Accountability


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Come one!!! I'll decorate an X-Mas tree! I'll skip bathing, and start some good arguments! I'll let my cigarettes start fires! I'll fall off a bike! I'll do some shaky stand up at a local club!

I CAN RAISE RATINGS, TOO!!

Give a girl a chance...


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susan765 166 desperate attention whore postings
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03-13-06, 01:06 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
Monday in the car:

Not much work for me today. Just driving Jodi and the Camera man around all afternoon. I'm still not right after that potion. I've been receiving all kinds of transmissions from the universe on my radio. I even got to stream the new HBO season last night! Hey Jon Boy maybe you should go the Big Love way. Because let me tell you, there are a whole lot of women trapped in that house with some mighty raging hormones! Maybe a sign up sheet? Rhonda don't worry you can still be the Most Important Revered One. Just please keep it out of the car. After today with Jodi and the camera man I need a break! They had the car shaking and were banging around in there so much that I was really glad they went with the tinted glass option. Christina and the camera man used to wait until night but not Jodi! And the man was screaming and begging for it to stop! But she just kept it up and kept muttering about the "Scale". The car just doesn't understand but the man could barely get out of the car afterwards.
Hey Mo' I've got some time tonight do you or any of the ladies need a ride anywhere?

Salt n Pepper Lyrics : Push It

Push It

Salt n Peppa Ah, push it Ah, push it Oooh, baby, baby Baby, , baby, baby Baby, up on this! Ow! Baby! Salt and ' ! < wait a , y'all This dance ain't for the sexy people So all you fly mothers, get on out there and dance Dance, I !> and Pepa's here, and we're in you to push it, babe Coolin' by day then at night working up a ' girls, let's go show the guys that we know How to become number one in a hot party show Now push , push it - push it good Ah, push it - push it real good Ah, push it - push it , push it - p-push it real good Hey! Ow! Push it good! Oooh, baby, baby Baby, , baby, baby Baby, baby Yo, yo, yo, yo, baby-pop Yeah, you come here, gimme a kiss Better make it fast or else I'm gonna get pissed Can't you hear the music's pumpin' hard like I wish you would? Now push it good P-push it real good Ah, push it Get up on this! Boy, you really got me going You got me so I don't know what I'm doing Ah, push it

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justfionablue 62 desperate attention whore postings
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03-13-06, 03:46 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
Now calm down, Mr. Murray. I'm not accusing you of stealing anything, I was just asking if you knew anything about the disappearance of my garden gnome. Yes I realize you're a very busy man. It was probably those kids down the block. We had some trouble with them last year after our Garden Buddha turned up missing. I did notice that do you have some unusual yard art and interesting statuary in the back yard over there. I really like the statue of that blond woman with the frozen face holding a mirror...


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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

03-18-06, 10:00 PM (EST)
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37. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
*ding dong*

Oh, hello, neighbor? I was just wondering about that statue you spoke of, you know, the blonde frozen-faced woman? I have never seen that. I think someone stole it. It sounds so attractive...I would like to have several to greet people as they walk up my walkway. Do you have any idea where I can find it, or give me details so I can have some copies made? Thank you!


Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

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shelley_sargent 73 desperate attention whore postings
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03-13-06, 11:55 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
***sitting in the grass on a blanket talking to the garden gnome and stroking his great big.....hat***

You know, I dont have a Boo Boo. I dont have a Boo Boo because I can never have children and no one will want me because I have hairy beeyoobs. But you, you can be my BooBoo. Wouldnt that be nice? We could swim together and skinny dip! Oh fun!
**SHOCKED**
My hairy beeyoobs will NOT clog the pool drain! *slaps gnome* Sorry, I lost myself for a moment. We really would be great together. Iguana can even bless you for me.
Would you like a glass of wine.....?


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SOgr82bhere 8 desperate attention whore postings
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03-14-06, 00:25 AM (EST)
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7. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
***sniffling***

All are on an F***** diet??? That means that I will be neglected again...
And Jill is gone... *crying*


Feeling unloved and lonely

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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

03-18-06, 10:09 PM (EST)
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38. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
Oh, Allison? Wake up, hon. You need to get back to the guest house. I think you drank more than usual in despair over Iyanla being gone this week. The neighbors are beginning to complain. They are afraid to grill because with all the fumes, there could be an explosion. And their dogs keep bringing home elf shoes...Jodi, please help me with your nice strong man-muscles so we can get her back inside.

*pauses for shots with camera of carrying Allison with scowly sneer of great concern on face*

Yeah, Jack, "Rhonda helping the downtrodden" should help improve ratings. Make sure you don't use shots of the left side of my face. It is still just a tiny bit paralyzed.


Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

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JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
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03-14-06, 08:14 AM (EST)
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8. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
I'm all for including moms as HGs, but only if their daughters can accompany them. We could do so many things! We could have mother-daughter makeovers, beauty contests, shopping trips, cat fights meaningful group sessions... you name it! The possibilities are endless.

I say we kick off the whole project with a call for photo submissions. In anticipation, I've included a picture of my mom and me! Notice the resemblance? I inherited not only her strong jaw, but her stink scents sense of style as well.

P.S. Oh dear, I've given away my secret! Mom was the one who taught me the correct technique for plucking eyebrows!


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justfionablue 62 desperate attention whore postings
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03-14-06, 03:36 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
My what a stunning likeness. I must say I am very afraid of the one on the right. Which horror movie is she from?
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turquiosedove 100 desperate attention whore postings
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03-15-06, 08:25 AM (EST)
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10. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
(writing a letter to the SO House)

Ladies, after a long discussion with the producers, I wanted to throw a little party. This party will celebrate YOU! All the hard work (ya right) and endless hours trying to discover your real selves (ha!).
Come join us for the Booze, Botox, and Bead Blowout. A full bar with a famous B list male celebrity will mix up your poison, Andy's plastic surgeon, Dr. VantToLookJung will be giving botox shots to all you beauties (cough, hint, cough)don't worry, there will be enough botox for you all. And of course my beautiful beads! All the housemates are invited, and you can bring friends, if you have any, and who ever else wants to come-garden nomes welcome. Christina there will be a pole there
So what do you say losers err ladies, the limo will pick you up at 7pm.

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JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
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03-15-06, 09:29 AM (EST)
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11. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
LAST EDITED ON 03-15-06 AT 09:30 AM (EST)

Oh, fun fun fun! Beads are the perfect anchor piece for any wardrobe. And Botox! Personally I love Botox it helps keep my eyebrows in place a smooth smile on my face!

I hate to bring up a sour note here, Beady, but my mother had a bad experience with Botox once. Can you tell? The side effects have mostly worn off over time, but she still has just a teensy little tightness around her hairline.

Maybe some Jack Black will loosen her up. Hey, Christie, can you bring your private stock? Surely you won't mind if we have a little drink or two around you. Or if you think it will, you could just head over to Gassages or whatever that place is you've been going, and party down with those people you consider "yuppies."

Ta for now, ladieeeeees!


Be a great wardrobe accesory!

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turquiosedove 100 desperate attention whore postings
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03-15-06, 11:08 AM (EST)
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13. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
Yes Andy, botox and beads are todays accessories, Lord knows it ain't the only thing you've done (cough, nose job,cough, eye lift, cough). Bring your mom, MrI will be there, maybe they can hook up.
Christie can go off the wagon for a night, we know she doesn't follow her eating plan, whats alittle drinky gonna do?
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GuyStartingOver 79 desperate attention whore postings
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03-15-06, 01:40 PM (EST)
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15. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
'scuse me? Me? With Andy's mom?? Uhm, there are some things that even I would not do. Not many, but there are some.


...but then again...I've always said I would do anything once...

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JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
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03-15-06, 06:40 PM (EST)
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17. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
Whaddya mean, there are some things you wouldn't do?! You've already put yourself out there as a G-string-wearin', globe-trottin', champagne-sippin', chat-room talkin' playboy. And according to Miss Jill, you don't even look that good yourself! We couldn't help but see her reaction to your picture when Lisa printed it out. So don't you go knocking me.

Besides, you don't know a good makeover when you see one. When my darling Andy graduated from the house, I was her first client. I think she does wonderful work. It wasn't her fault she fell asleep and left in some of my highlight foils on the one side for what, 2 hours? Oh, well. Some men think it looks pretty darned hot.

And talk about hot, oy! Was it ever hot when Andy threw the switch and brought me back to life in the first place! See, she had this lab already set up for her business, and this was just a little sideline, you know. She only robbed the graves of the best designers, like Edith Head and Coco Chanel. Truth be told, she even threw in a little Rudolf Moshammer. So I'm made from the very best, and don't you forget it!


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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
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03-17-06, 05:47 PM (EST)
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31. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
Scary woman. Nice sig.


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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

03-16-06, 01:11 AM (EST)
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18. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
Well, um, it sounds great, with my doc and all there, but I think I'd better lay off the Botox for a few days...I still can't eat solid food. And we all know I can't handle my booze. I do need some new beads....something mysteriously happened to my "I love me" beads. I hope you have more of them! I would also like some to glue around the frame of my mirror.


Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

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quiller 268 desperate attention whore postings
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03-15-06, 10:38 AM (EST)
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12. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
Well, I got to see my sons last night and I think I did a GREAT JOB> I hugged my oldest son, Mike, I think that's his name, yeah Mike. I hugged Mike about 20 times in public. But I am sure he was really happy because I haven't hugged him in his whole life. So I am sure this will make up for everything. I also hugged the younger one.

Aren't I just great getting 2 steps?! I am beating everyone in that house.

Hey, BTW, if they can bring Melinda to help Kim work through her issues, couldn't they bring the therapist that screwed me up, so that I could beat her up work on MY issues.

Well, I have to go and write in my journal how great I am doing. TTFN.



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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

03-15-06, 12:00 PM (EST)
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14. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
Oh, Kelly, yes, I am so proud of the amazing way I have coached you you. You did not get in any fights with the football players on the other team who tackled your son, and I think the man in front of you did not lose his hearing, as has happened in the past.

However, I believe our next step is to work on your "hugs". Your husband didn't want to tell you, but your son now has three broken ribs.


Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

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susan765 166 desperate attention whore postings
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03-15-06, 02:59 PM (EST)
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16. "the beach"
Wed in the car:

I send my thanks to the Universe for giving Jodi a time out for the past instance in the car. I hope the Camera man is alright. And that was so thoughtful of Dr. Stan to send me to the beach to chill out for the afternoon. The drive over was a little noisy. That Kim never shuts up and the new one Melinda, Is she related to Lisa? Neither one can complete a sentence! Please don't let them drive me. If you can't think you can't drive.
Now a shout out to Rhonda. I know that you think that your uhm unique approach to life coaching is working so well on Kelly but I got t o give you a heads up on that crazy broad. When she was driving to the football game she was on the cell phone none stop leaving messages that were quite angry in tone. I could feel the anger all the way in my engine.

Playing on the Radio:
The Doors - People are Strange

People are strange when you're a stranger
Faces look ugly when you're alone
Women seem wicked when you're unwanted
Streets are uneven when you're down

When you're strange
Faces come out of the rain
When you're strange
No one remembers your name
When you're strange
When you're strange
When you're strange

People are strange when you're a stranger
Faces look ugly when you're alone
Women seem wicked when you're unwanted
Streets are uneven when you're down

When you're strange
Faces come out of the rain
When you're strange
No one remembers your name
When you're strange
When you're strange
When you're strange

When you're strange
Faces come out of the rain
When you're strange
No one remembers your name
When you're strange
When you're strange
When you're strange




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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

03-16-06, 01:21 AM (EST)
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20. "RE: the beach"
Oh, how healthy, Kelly is letting out her anger! That is wonderful!


Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
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03-16-06, 01:18 AM (EST)
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19. "I'm lonely..."
Oh, Sugarplum, I mean Mr. Murray, I am so lonely without you. You drove me to a Botox freeze, and that was a horrendous experience.

Are you through with Lisatwit? I suppose she attached herself to your leg and wouldn't let go. And then that bogus call to the house, saying she found a "part-time job"...we all know what that is. Christina, have you been teaching Lisa how to find a lucrative part-time job?

So, Great BM, are you ready to *ahem* renegotiate our contract (with each other, that is)? I need to make up for several days of lost camera time...


Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
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03-18-06, 04:56 PM (EST)
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34. "RE: I'm lonely..."
It's so good to hear from you again, my sweet. I think we need a boondoggle offsite to discuss our plans for the rest of the show, no?

How does Lake Tahoe sound? (Or will the Botox freeze again?)


Lisatwit? XXXtina? They've got nothing on your, um, charms.

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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

03-18-06, 10:24 PM (EST)
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39. "RE: I'm lonely..."
Well, I might be persuaded. Dr. VantToLookJung thinks that the outing would be good for my morale, and the relaxation in our my motel room and by the pool would ease stress to diminish the paralysis. We can discuss what went right/wrong between Kim and Melinda, and which housemate we can torture miraculously help next.


Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

How many mirrors shall I bring? So many to choose from...

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sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
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03-16-06, 06:34 PM (EST)
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21. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
ooooo..... I'm just sooo mad.... mnnmnnnpf!

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justfionablue 62 desperate attention whore postings
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03-16-06, 09:33 PM (EST)
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25. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
That looks a lot like Christina's latest art work...
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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

03-18-06, 10:32 PM (EST)
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40. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
Oh, ladies, Lisa has given me a fantastic idea! Tomorrow, we are going to paint our anger on a huge canvas with our feet. We can "Stamp the Anger Out"! Kim and Kelly's portions of the canvas will be five times larger than everyone else's. And Lisa can teach us all a few flamenco dance moves to help the process.

Please be there at 9 a.m. in suitable attire for painting. I am sure this will help so much with your anger problems.


Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

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susan765 166 desperate attention whore postings
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03-16-06, 07:41 PM (EST)
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22. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
Thurs. in the car:

All the women driving to the ranch.

The car is feeling some hot nasty air in me today. Car sick? My bumper! Jodi just wants to sit up front. Has budda not taught you girls anything? Live and let live! Even that crazy potion throwing women said own your feelings, not everyone elses. Remember Karma will kick you women in the ##### when you least expect it!

playing on the radio:
MISSY ELLIOTT Song: Gossip Folks (Uncut)

Yo, yo yo move out of the way
We got missy Elliott coming through
Girl that is missy Elliott she lost a lot of weight
Girl I heard she eats one cracker a day
Oh well I heard the ##### was married to Tim and started ##### with Trina
I heard the ##### got hit with three zebras and a monkey
I can't stand the ##### no way


When I walk up in the piece
I ain't gotta even speak
I'm a bad mamajama goddammit motherfucker you ain't gotta like me
How you studying these hoes
Need to talk what you know
And stop talking bout who I'm sticking and licking jus mad it ain't yours
I know ya'll poor ya'll broke
Ya'll job jus hanging up clothes
Step to me get burnt like toast
Muthafuckas adios amigos
Halves halves wholes wholes
I don't brag I mostly boast
From the VA to the LA coast
Iffy kiffy izzy oh



When I pull up in my whip
Bitches wanna talk #####
I'm driving I'm glad and I'm styling
in these muthafuckas eyes did you see it?
I'm gripping these curbs
Skuur, did ya heard
I love em, my fellas, my furs
I fly like a bird
Chicken heads on the prowl
Who you trying ##### now
Naw you ain't getting loud
Better calm down for I smack your ##### down
I need my drums bass high hat
I need my snare strings horns and
I need my Tim sound
right, left
Izzy kizzy looky here


I don't go out my house shorty
You just waiting to see
Who gon roll up in the club and then report that next week
Just wanna see who I am ##### boy
Sniffing some coke
I know by the time I finish this line I'm a hear this on the radio


Missy Misdemeanor Elliott


Yo, straight up Missy killed that ##### tonight for real
I know I know, I don't even care about her being pregnant by Michael Jackson
You know what we should do
We should go get her album when it comes out
There she go, there she go, there she
Heeeey Misssy


Hi Missy?
What's up fools?
You think I aint knowin' y'all broke Milli Vanilli
Jay Jay fan wannabes ain't over here gossiping 'bout me?
Yo how 'bout you buff these Pumas for 20 cents so your lights won't get cut off
You soggy breasts, cow stomachs
Yo take those baby GAP shirts off, too
You just mad cuz Payless ran out of plastic pumps for the after party
Yo by the way, go get my album
Damn!


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pinksparkleguitar 1222 desperate attention whore postings
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03-17-06, 03:38 PM (EST)
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28. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
Buddha stays away from Jodi due to an unfortunate incident involving some really tight jeans and a lot of wine. That's all Buddha will say right now.



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lovemydogdude 1253 desperate attention whore postings
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03-16-06, 08:42 PM (EST)
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23. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
Iyanla OH wherefor art thou Iyanla!??? I need to ask you a question..but you're NOwhere to be found..when you crossed my hairs with Rhonda's last week?..could that ritual possibly have given me permanent skoulmarks on my forehead?

It doesn't matter HOW happy I am..no matter how much ecstasy I encounter (woohoo big words huh?)..I just can't stop looking angry and disfigured. Because I'm usually such a beautiful creature..it made me think of your blunder last week..just want to know!?? Thank you though..my A$$ feels much better teehee.

P.S. Beady..Thanks for the offer but I have my own pole..and you DON'T have the BEADS that I want/need teehee.

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SeasonedRefinement 1248 desperate attention whore postings
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03-16-06, 09:28 PM (EST)
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24. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
I told ya, Christina baby...I'm just a prayer away.

I think I've gotten the hair blunder straightened out. It wasn't my fault you know - my cleaning lady shouldn't have been nosing around near my altars. The flesh should never trifle with the things of the spirit.

As far as your face baby girl, I have my theory, but you won't like it. The universe may be teaching you a lesson, my love. As the layers of your life are pulled back and exposed, your outer shell will begin to reflect your inner self. In your case, this could get really ugly.

Have you ever noticed the light that just seems to eminate from my face? That is glow from the fire of the divine. How about the anticipation you feel as I warm up to smile? It's a slow process when I move those facial muscles and expose my toothy grin. It's a treat for all who experience it because it means the goddess in me is pleased. And my big bosom? That is an external symbol of all of the milk of human kindness and nurturing that I am filled with, defined by, and known for. My thick legs? They represent my strength in standing firm in my own personal truth. You can no more move me from my position of truth than you could push over two mighty oak trees. (damn...I'm good!)

You can do what Rhonda does...try to fight it with Botox. I wouldn't recommend that because it's pricey and you are still poor. You'll have to do the work to be a better person. If you don't, this will only get worse. Look at Allison. Look at Jill. They stopped doing the work. Do you want to look like them?

*******************************************

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lovemydogdude 1253 desperate attention whore postings
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03-17-06, 01:46 AM (EST)
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26. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
Oh Mamaaaaaaaa!!!!!
I miss your bosoms The other day I needed a snotrag and I thought of YOU muah! You tease me with your words yet don't return my calls (ain't my way of speakin' gettin better teehee?) I am forever grateful for your ongoing support. I'm just glad to hear it's your housekeeper's fault..I'm only a kid I wouldn't know any better ahem..well uhumm..be sure and mix a special potion to the maid from me k? Ohhhhhhhhhh I don't want to talk about this ANYMORE!@#&*!!
P.S. Thanks again for saving my A$$..literally!

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SeasonedRefinement 1248 desperate attention whore postings
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03-17-06, 07:38 AM (EST)
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27. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
I hear - and I understand.

I know that you are feeling sad and alone. It's PID...Post Iyanlac Depression. It may seem like a cruel cosmic joke...spending the most enriching days of your life with an emissary of the gods, and then...POOF...I'm gone! I'm sorry baby bird, I had to nudge you out of the nest. Of course, I wasn't expecting you to do a dead drop to the ground. So, flap around in the dirt for a while and kick up a little dust. Eventually, you'll have to get going and FLY! I have other losers to nurse.

Oh, you understand that I cannot give you my new, private, unlisted phone number, right? If you put my number in your cell phone memory and you lost the phone...well, can I tell you what a disaster that would be? My number would be the hottest commodity on the west coast.

Feel free to call NBC and leave your number though.


*******************************************

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pinksparkleguitar 1222 desperate attention whore postings
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03-17-06, 03:48 PM (EST)
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29. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"

Dear dear dear my lovely John-boy-

Obviously it was a complete mistake on your part to throw me in the box destined fo some of your other shows . . .

And we all laughed at the car ride, and how you really kept up the joke, and how you kep insisting that a change would be good for me. . . .

And it was all fun and games when you left me on the doorstep of the new Key West Real World House. . . .

But Dear Mr. Bunim, could perhaps the joke be over now? I have managed to make my way through several different shows, and somehow found myself in old re-runs of Making the Band, the very first one. Even Kim's talking or Lisaone's fake throw up would be better than some of what's happening in this house!! if O-town sings that song about dreams one more time . . . !!

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that the great and wise Buddha has learned his lesson about threatening to leave. I promise to behave and be a good Buddha. Maybe even Iynla or Rhonda could have some sessions to hel me over come my 'god-complex.'

So, I can't really get on my knees, seeing as how they are stone and all . . . but can I come back? please? I won't even complain about my pinky anymore.

PS - tell Rhonda I miss her. When you - uh - see her.



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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

03-18-06, 10:51 PM (EST)
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41. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
*singing in back yard*

My Buddha lies at the wrong ocean, my Buddha lies at the wrong sea,
My Buddha lies at the wrong ocean, oh, bring back my Buddha to me!

Bring back, bring back, oh, bring back my Buddha to me, to me!
Bring back, bring back, oh, bring back my Buddha to me!

*sob* *sob*
It seems like just yesterday my Buddha was so patiently listening to me as I poured out all my woes upon him. We drank a bit of tea, which was difficult for him as he could not lift his pinky, and then he told me of all he had seen and heard in the back yard, and of his woes with his pinky and the stinky Speedos. *sob* *sob* We comforted each other, and I complimented him on his lovely stone face, and he complimented me on mine, and it was nice. We were able to be our authentic selves, and he gave me some much-needed spiritual advice. Iyanla always falls asleep before I can get the spiritual advice... *sob* *sob* Only Buddha gives me unconditional love.

Please, Jon-Boy O Great BM, please bring my Buddha back!


Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

If you do, believe me, it will be worth your while, if you know what I mean.

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26mitogo 493 desperate attention whore postings
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03-18-06, 12:24 PM (EST)
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32. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
Dear Journal;
OH, what a week! With my honey bunny Jill gone and all that's left are these weak whinny women that I just can't relate to, I'm even more lonely for some lovin' friendship. BM promised me lots of tough women to .... relate with .... for weeks on end. I get here and QueenJill is the only tough mama in the group. Well, at least she is out there in the world dispersing her wisdom and healing soles like Iyanla wants her to. She's gotten THE job of her dreams!!! She always did need a lot of time to get places, get things done. That tumor she drags around really slows her down ... especially on the days it does't want to go with her. Countless times in the house she'd be up there in her room having huge arguments with it. Couple of times it even bit her with those teeth it grew. When I 1st got here I thought she was arguing with Ms.Mable but she told me in private that after the tumor grew the hair and teeth it actually came to life. Keeps her company. She decided not to loose too much weight or stop smoking ... this way she won't be able to have the surgery. She figures she won't be having any kids and after listening to Allison whine about not having a womb for so long she decided "TuMor" would be her baby (that's what she named it.) Ohhhhh, I wish I could tell someone all this ... but I promised my Jill-y that I'd keep it hush-hush. Wonder if Iyanla knows. I know she had Jill ask the Universe for EVERYTHING she wants (job, baby, boo-boo ... one that's not over 50, an entire continent between her and her broke mama, fame, a daddy) Jill figures TuMor growing hair & teeth and coming to life is her gift from Universe. She does have to argue with him (TuMor - she decided it's probably a "him" ... something she saw in the ultra-sound I think) sometimes, and when he's asleep she moves v-e-r-y slowly so she won't wake him up. Anyway, about her dream job ... she works 3 hours a week and now she is sooooo famous. That's why I wonder if Iyanla knows about TuMor ... knows Jill needs a lot of time and extra food for him and working any more would just be too hard.

But the WORST this week ... getting on that infernal scale! Damn, I thought Dr.Stan and I agreed ... no one is going to force this on me. And now look. Iyanla is accusing me of resisting and every person they have me talk to is pushing this scale thing. It's a frigg'n conspiracy! So ... I shut them up ... I got on it. Big F'n deal. You got me to see that F'n number. I told them I don't want to know how big I am. I don't like myself right now. I guess Iyanla wants me to be like Jill and love myself at 200+ lbs. OK, I'll try ... but I won't like it. Buuuut ..... if I like being a big fat pig then I don't have to change anything except some clothes that Andy bought me ... well, and I'll have to pluck my eyebrows now and again. I can eat what I want, love myself to death, and get the universe to change my mirror even more than it has so I see even less fat. Maybe not such a bad week afterall!

Well, not such a bad week if you don't consider the Kim & her mother conflama. Now that was rough on the rest of us. I just don't see why those two had to inconvenience the rest of us when their little problems had nothing to do with us. Sheeze. You'd think Kim could keep her little tantrums to herself. She should be thinking more about how her mood affects the rest of us. Can't they teach her that we don't want to be inconvenienced. Hell, we're on vacation here. The least Kim could do is accommodate us and be nice to all of us then if she wants to get pissy ... go call Jeff. He'll have a couple of drinks and go to sleep. We want to have some fun and her bad mood can get in the way.

It was fun watching Kim's mother do Kim's laundry tho. This was Lisa2's idea! We agreed it would be funny to watch Kim go ballistic on her mother for touching her precious clothes. This was such a fun way to get Kim back for blasting the rest of us when she got here and putting up those frigg'n notes all over about her tiny little precious untouchable clothes. I just wanted her stuff shrunk so she could wear them like I do. There can be a little excitement when your clothes are so tight you feel things you've never felt before. Thought maybe it would give Kim something to squeel about ... in a good way!

It's getting late. Gotta go hook up with my girls for some drink'n and late night gabb'n. Maybe Kelly isn't back from her son's football game and we can gossip about her as well as Kim. I think I've got Kelly right where I want her. I told her how much I admire her and how much I love her ... I think she believes me. Maybe she'll let down her guard with me now and I can get her goooooood ... get her back for snapping at me for a few days. At least she's gone on to Kim now. Took a couple of days manipulating but with everyone else punching on Kim it helped get her off me and onto Kim. I checked her closet the other day and she does have her pins in the "Kim" doll now instead of the "Jodi" one. Thank gawd! Gotta keep watching this one. She's got some mighty powerful black magic, voo-doo, witch, demon worship stuff going on all the time. Goes into the far edges of the garden late into the night. I haven't gotten close enough yet to see it all but I hear a lot of chanting, smell some funny smoke, and she does weird dancing and spinning around in strange ceremonial garb. Time will tell but I'll just keep her close and love her to death .... that'll keep her spells off me for now.



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JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

03-18-06, 03:23 PM (EST)
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33. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
Where is Jill's tumor, anyway? I thought for sure we'd see a post from it by now. And you mention voodoo in the House? Hey, that I can identify with! A little skeery stuff doesn't hurt anyone.

Now about Kelly well, I think my darling Andy could come up with something to cover her bald spot, but she probably can't do anything for her personality. Pretty is as pretty does, you know!

There is a chance that Andy might be able to find a super girdle to reign in your fat rolls, Miss Jodi. And yes, you do need to pluck your eyebrows every now and then. Want some help?

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GuyStartingOver 79 desperate attention whore postings
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03-18-06, 08:41 PM (EST)
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35. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
All these changes, all these changes, what's a guy to do? That beyotsch stalker calls the house and my name never even comes up, after all I've done for her... Xxxtina won't get with me, Rhonda and Jonny have made up... HMMMMMMmmmmmmm.... what about that Melinda? I'm diggin' that shaky-head-bobble thing she does. Now where'd she go? I think I may have to put myself on a flight and see if I can catch up with some of that high-class nookie. Any woman who chooses her man over a sniveling little spoiled 6-year old rugrat brat is OK by me... now if I can just stowaway in the SO car long enough to get close to LAX...

Last post for Mr. I for at least a little while...

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lovemydogdude 1253 desperate attention whore postings
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03-19-06, 03:29 AM (EST)
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43. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
TeeHee SNORT..you're just all talk and no action MI..teehee..ya think we wanna end up with a virus or something? yeah right!? DORK! Go with the flow..times are changing woohoo!
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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

03-18-06, 11:05 PM (EST)
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42. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
Didn't that work well with Kim and her mother? (Notice I got out of town before the nasty part--I'm no fool!) I so enjoy getting my ladies all stirred up with terrifying life-affirming surprises. Perhaps next, we can have a drunken orgy party and make Christie wear a swimsuit and not drink. Or we can all taunt Kelly (and Jodi can have at her hair again) as she sits in the straitjacket. Hmmm, I have a lot to discuss with Mr. Murray!


Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

I hope nobody noticed my much tighter-looking face in Thursday's confessional. It took make-up three extra hours to try to cover the remaining paralysis.

I am missing the confessional chair. We had such good times together...

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JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
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03-20-06, 08:02 AM (EST)
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44. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
>...I have a
>lot to discuss with Mr.
>Murray!

Oh, you do, do you? Well, you'll just have to wait your turn, Missy! I'll tell you right up front, you better lay off my man, sweetheart. I've seen how you kowtow to him, and I can tell you now, you're NOT his type! Get real, lady. He prefers someone with a little substance... like myself.

By the way, I saw something you'd written about my darling Andy developing some of your facial expressions! What are you thinking?! I know you're jealous of Andy, but pretty is as pretty does, you know. And you with your Botox needle clutched in your fist 24/7 is not a very pretty picture.


Have a terrifying day, ladies.

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JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
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03-20-06, 08:10 AM (EST)
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45. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
Uh, Mom, why don't you lay off the RhonDog a while. She can't help how she acts; she has some kind of narcissistic complex that causes her to suffer from grave envy. Yes, I said grave; but I didn't mean to get you all excited. Calm down and come on over today. I just got a new shipment of Dooney and Bourke knockoffs. After we try selling them out of the back of my car experiment with great new fashion looks, we can do each other's eyebrows.


Love me, love my mom...

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trikelady 82 desperate attention whore postings
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03-21-06, 10:26 PM (EST)
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46. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 6"
After a wonderful week of having dear old mom here and then a week of reruns I feel refreshed and ready to get er done. How great is that, mom having a birthday party for me and then pony rides...wow!... I am just so lucky to have such a caring mother. It was way cool to have a drink and smoke with her too. I can't believe how much we have in common. Our trip to the beach was swell, thank God no one drowned. How funny was mom when she shrank my new pajamas, she is such a kidder. It's so great how all the women in the house just loved her, I,m so glad they see her how I see her. Jeepers...it'll be a real bummer for her to go, hope the women take it alright. Anyway, I was so happy to hear from hubby, too bad we couldn't talk longer...he's the man. Well, time for bed as we have a new house guest arriving tomorrow...hope she's just like sweet, beautiful, lovable, wonderful me.

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