Official Summary: Hell’s Kitchen 4, Episode 3
Here we are again in Hell's Kitchen! Unsurprisingly, we start off Episode 3 with a recap of Episode 2. Well, the show did. I'm not going to. But please feel free to wander off to Bebo’s summary for a bit, get yourself caught up and come back.
OK, let's get to it! Corey has p!ssed off Jen and Christina by nominating them for elimination for "personal" and "strategic" reasons. Christina whines and Jen beyotches. Neither sounds intelligent or even grown up. Wah wah wah and whatever. Everyone goes to bed.
The Damned are woken at some unholy hour and told to grab a chicken from the flock running about inside the dorms. Hilarity ensues. Bobby explains that this is yet another thing that he ain't never done and overturns all kinds of negative racial stereotypes by saying he'd have a better chance catching inner city gang members.
Chickens in hand, the wannabe chefs line up in Hell's Kitchen. Petrozza snuggles his chicken. Scott looks Mephistophelean holding his butcher knife. Gloria is told to bring her chicken to Chef Ramsay. Hey! That's the most camera time she's had yet! Chef says that the wannabes don’t respect the product. They need to learn to prepare it. He holds his chicken down. His knife is poised…and down it comes! Right next to the poor chicken’s head. The Damned will not be killing chickens today. Everyone sighs with relief. These chickens will be put back in their cages as they have been given a reprieve. The same cannot be said for the chickens dangling by their feet in the kitchen when the wannabes return.
For today's challenge, each of our chefs will be chopping a whole chicken into 8 pieces: 2 breasts, 2 thighs, 2 drumsticks and 2 wings. They will have 5 minutes. Jason believes that Blue Team will win because they're men. "This isn't the 'Dust and Housekeeping Challenge' here." Amazing that he's still single, isn't it?
Back to the kitchen...mattben is finished his chicken. Wait. Matt and Ben are finished their chickens and encourage Craig, who is taking his sweet time, but still managing to do a sucky job.
Red Team's chickens are evaluated first:
And now the Blue:
Because of math or something, there's no hope of the men catching up. Bobby and Louross don’t even get a chance to show off their chicken bits. The girls win! They will be going to The Saddle Ranch, a restaurant on Sunset Strip.
Christina tells us that Corey did a great job, but she still ca'’t be trusted. Wah.
Jason says the girls surprised him and feels the need to point out that the Blue Team is comprised of males. Well spotted.
Blue's punishment is to go pick
pickled peppers in the hot, hot sun. They get spiffy outfits – overalls and straw hats. The men take it stoically, p!ssing and moaning and blaming Craig. Matt slams things around the room like a toddler having a tantrum, hitting himself in the head with a shoe in the process. *snort*
The men are driven to the pepper field in a run-down old bus. Louross complains in confession like a he actually has a sense of humour. Nothing much happens at the pepper place, so let's just skip it and Jason's comments about how he’s fat because he’s lazy and he eats too much.
At the Saddle Ranch, Chef Ramsay and the Red Team are surprised to find Aaron from last season. Jokes about crying are made. The women ride the mechanical bull, eat and tell Chef about their plans to pick the boys off one by one. They consider Ben, Jason and Craig the easiest to "get to" and will concentrate their efforts on them. If I were supportive of this, I would suggest that they add Matt.
So, back at the dorms, Corey, Christina and Shayna loll about in the hot tub. Corey tells us that some of the men might be attracted to her body. They try to entice Ben to join them, but he will have none of that. Christina’s legs are wide apart, which I find irritating. Corey blows kisses and generally behaves in a manner that couldn't possibly be described by anyone with an ounce of intelligence as being anything other than "up to something".
Enter Jason. See him stand nonchalantly against the wall by the hot tub. See him take a slow, sensual drag on his cigarette. Hear him seductively deliver his signature Opening Line: "What's up girl? How you doin'?" The line is successful (which is not at all suspicious in any way) and he is invited in join the women in the hot tub. He is, after all, a real man. Of course they want him. Women love bitter, lazy misogynists who will throw laundry at them. Christina helps him off with his overalls and... *mmph* *erk*
Sorry, just had to run to the bathroom there. All better now.
Let’s just skip over a few things here. Suffice it to say, once Jason is in the tub, fed and liquored up some, he completely spills his guts about the Blue team, telling the women everything they want to know.
Blue Team, Ben in particular, is incensed. The next morning, they tell Jason the women are using him and to STFU.
On to tonight's service. Chef Ramsay wants a complete service, meaning appetizers, entrees and desserts. As part of Blue Team’s punishment, they will lose Bobby, who will cook the chicken special tableside. Jean-Philippe will do the special for the Red Team. Who know JP could cook?
Chef assigns Jason to the dessert station. Jason’s face lights up like a Christmas tree. He is clearly thrilled to be doing desserts. "Jason," asks Chef, "what are the desserts?" Now surely Jason, a clever fellow if ever there was one, has learned that Chef might quiz the wannabes on the menu. He did so before the first service with the entire Blue Team. He did so before the second service with Petrozza. Yes, our hero Jason, the real man, has learned from experience and knows the menu backwards and forwards, I'm sure. Let's listen to his reply:
It can't be! Jason is sent to learn the desserts. This is perfect for Jason, because now he can sit around doing sweet bugger-all and pretend that he is studying.
Christina is on appetizers and begins very competently. Petrozza is told his dish is beautiful. Craig flounders. Louross goes to get Jason. If the editing hasn’t misled me, it’s an hour and a half into service and Jason is still studying. He whines that he can't do it. Can't do it with Chef staring at him. Wah.
Chef wants to know the desserts. Jason can't spit it out. Then Jason gives up. Asked if he’s done, he says yes. Chef changes tactics and finally pushes Jason into giving him the THREE WHOLE ITEMS on the dessert menu.
Vanessa's entrees aren't done correctly and she is miserable. Chef sends all the women to take care of the meat. *Insert your inappropriate/sophomoric joke here.* Vanessa, with the help of Rosann, sets the next four steaks on fire.
In a parallel development, Ben is serving either raw or burnt salmon. He attributes this to different cooking techniques. Uh-huh.
Now Bobby is off in the dining room to prepare the special. He has been told he has 7 minutes. 7 minutes elapse and the other entrees are nowhere to be found. Thus, Bobby decides to portion the chicken out for the six people at the table. Jean-Philippe looks incredulous. As well he might. Tell me, General Bobby, if the other entrees make it to the table, what will you be feeding the person whose dinner you just gave away?
Back in the kitchen, Jason can't make soufflé. For some reason, his soufflés have puffed up only in the middle and are ruined. Jason has also failed to wipe the ramekin before baking it, so there are ugly burnt bits all around the outside. He tells Chef that he will add some kind of sugar mixture to the ramekin for the next batch to keep them from sticking and puffing up like that. Chef gives him his patented "WTF?!" look. In confession, Jason tells us that he isn't a dessert guy. He doesn't do desserts because they're for women. So, to clarify, tasks requiring skill are women’s work. Jason can only do easy things. Like memorize menu items. Oh wait.
Chef Ramsay goes to the sink to bang his head for a while.
Chef complains of a headache as he turns his attention back to the kitchen. Ben's raw salmon causes Chef to order all the Blue team over to the Red kitchen. "We’ve gone backwards!" he declares. We go to commercial and I wonder what’s going on.
And we're back. Apparently, both kitchens stink so badly that we're closing down. Again. Christina is told to nominate one Red wannabe and Petrozza gets to nominate one for the Blue.
Bobby waves at his table on the way out, which was unwise.
In the dorms, Vanessa is horribly upset. Christina and Petrozza talk trash about Corey. Christina makes it clear that she wants to be rid of Corey, that Corey personally attacked her. Wah wah Corey wah. Grow. the heck. up.
Petrozza thinks that Blue would love to see Craig gone, but they'd do better if everyone didn't always have to pick up Jason's slack.
And so Petrozza nominates Jason.
Christina nominates Vanessa, because she did a bad job on meat. She could have nominated Corey, but she didn't. Because she's the bigger person. Wah wah Corey wah wah. Let. it. go.
And the loser is...Jason! He leaves us with a few reflective words demonstrating the extent of his personal growth during his time in Hell's Kitchen: "Maybe if I'd cried like a girl I'd still be there, but I'm a man. I'm going to get drunk.” Good riddance.
Next week, Craig and Corey p!ss off their teammates, Hell's Kitchen hosts its first ever Family night and more fires! Tune in and Silvergirl will tell you all about it.