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"Season 4: Hellís Kitchen Episode 2 Official Summary: Barbieís Dream-World Kitchen"
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Bebo 20880 desperate attention whore postings
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04-13-08, 09:42 PM (EST)
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"Season 4: Hellís Kitchen Episode 2 Official Summary: Barbieís Dream-World Kitchen"
Season 4: Hellís Kitchen Episode 2 Official Summary: Barbieís Dream-World Kitchen

Previously on Hellís Kitchen:

We meet the ďchefsĒ who will be competing this season to get the prize of head chef at Gordon Ramseyís new restaurant in Los Angeles.

Gordon swears at the contestants.

Gordon shuts down the kitchen early because of their incompetence.

He eliminates Domenic because he *gasp* canít cook.

This Week on Hellís Kitchen:

After the elimination ceremony, itís time for the clichťs.

I never thought heíd get eliminated.

I wasnít prepared for how intense this was going to be.

Iím going to step it up now. I have to take this seriously.

Iím going to hurl.

Sorry, that last one was from me. Havenít these people seen this show before???

Canít Dress Trashy ĎTil You Waste a Lot of Money

My favorites participants, the sous chefs, show why I like them so much when they wake up the contestants using bull horns and screaming at an ungodly early hour. I *heart* them. Gordon then swears at the contestants because he had to shut down the kitchen because of their incompetence. Then itís time to head outside, to see just how much food they wasted during last nightís Exercise in Futility. Some of the contestants were offended that they were digging in the trash, but Iím thinking the scallops they dumped there had much more reason to be perturbed. Gordon reminds them they wasted thousands of dollars the previous night. As if we werenít disgusted enough by the trash, weíre also subjected to butt crack shots. Oh great, a spinoffÖHellís Plumber.

Just For the Halibut

Gordon then demonstrates to the wannabes how to properly clean a fish and cut it into precise 6-ounce portions. Then itís time to introduce the teams to their challenge: properly clean halibut and cut into as many 6-ounce portions as possible in the designated time limit. Personally, I question giving any of these Pillsbury Bake-off Rejects sharp objects, but this show would be a lot less interesting if there werenít at least the hope that one or more of them would hack off a digit or two.

The teams approach the challenge the same way they approached the kitchen the prior night Ė lots of running around, lots of useless chatter, and the occasional delivery of food product. The guys finish quickly (no surprise), while the ladies take them time and focus more on the beauty of their finished effort. This surprises absolutely none of the significant others of the menís team. Once the teams have done their, ahem, work, itís time for Gordon to belittle them as he assesses the quality. Heís particularly critical of the male effort that focused more on quantity than quality. Geez, Iíd hate to see these guys at a bar during Ladiesí Happy Hour. In the end, we have another exercise in futility as weíre faced with Hellís Kitchenís first ever tie. This leaves Gordon floundering for a way to break the tie. He has each team pick one person to pick one piece of halibut - closest to 6 ounces wins. The men go first, with Ben grabbing a 5.9 ounce lifeless piece of flesh. This not only delights his teammates, but Ben, who realizes all those days alone in the bathroom had another payoff. Coreyís about to have a heart attack as she picks out her fish. Since she lacks Benís experience in, um, smacking the halibut, her effort falls short, and the men are declared the winner or the challenge.

Gordon reminds the ladies that they didnít want to lose this challenge. (Welcome back to the Land of Cliches.) The women are now prepping all of the halibut and fish stock for the service while the men are going on a super yacht. When the cleaned-up boys stroll through the kitchen on the way to their challenge, the women flail around with their cleavers to give the boys a special Eau de Fish on the way to the ocean. Then we get to listen to all of the comments from those guys whoíve never experienced anything like this before. Iíve never been in a Bentley before. The only boat Iíve ever gotten near is the Love Boat. Iíve never eaten with utensils before. Hey look, Iíve got opposable thumbs! Meanwhile, the women are bitching. Christina tries to take a team approach, while Jenís magnetic personality shines as she blames Corey for screwing up.

And Prep MeansÖ

Both of the teams are prepping. Sharon has no clue how to make anything except strange facial expressions. Christina runs around spouting formulae. Iím now watching Good Christina Hunting. Gordon comes in and quizzes Petrozza on the menu. Geez, dude, he chewed your team out like crazy for not knowing the menu beforeÖwhy didnít you think heíd care? Gordon kicks him out of the kitchen until he learns the menu. After all, Gordon has 3,000 menus between his ears. Since these losers caused Jean Philippe to cry like a little girl during the previous service, Gordon has decided to start the Junior Maitre Dí program so that they know what it feels like to get chewed out by someone other than Gordon. He picks Craig and Rosanne to take the beating.

Stick a Fork InÖOr May I?
Petrozza spends his time moaning about having trouble with the menu and cooking someone elseís menu. He loses his first quiz when he makes up a black cherry sorbet dessert. He heads upstairs and keeps saying Iím done. Iím done.

Instapoll!
When a contestant says heís doneÖ
a) Woohoo! One less idiot to watch moaning and complaining week after week!
b) Oh, look! An easy target during tonightís elimination.
c) For some reason, someone will talk him into sticking around and torturing us further. Heís not going anywhere.

If you answered a or b, have you every watched a reality show before?

Bobby and Petrozza share a tender moment as Bobby tells him heís cool, the chef thinks heís worth time, he needs to stick around. Petrozza admits heís a shell of a man, but sticks around.

Doors Are Opened, Brains Close Down

The men get to work on their first tickets, while Rosanne strolls over after a half hour into serviceÖwith no tickets. Gordon has to explain to her that sheís actually supposed to bring tickets to him.

The men are making appetizers. Bobby is having difficulty with the challenging task of frying an egg and takes it out on the rest of the team. Over on the womenís side, Corey helps to get things moving for the women by making good risotto.

A miracle occurs Ė the men get all of their appetizers done. This means that the menís kitchen is now turning into everyoneís favorite game show, Touch My Meat. Since Jason thinks heís on the sushi station, and Petrozza likes it rare, Gordon is making all of the men message the meat as part of their cooking lesson. Um, OK.

As bad as things are in the kitchen, Craig decides to make the drama about him again, but hitting a diner in the head with a chair. Jean Philippe heads over to tell him thatís a no-no and sings Itís too late, apologizeÖ

Blondes Have MoreÖ

Christina and Sharon are getting chewed out because Sharon is, well, Sharon. Gordon notices that she does a mean Hannibal Lecter impression, but other than her tongue action, sheís not doing much.

Gordon is shocked when he finds out that Rosanne has been hiding tickets. Silly conceptÖpeople order, the maitre dí brings the ticket to the kitchen, and the chefs actually cook. Rosanne comments that this is hard.

Gordon agrees and decides that instead of running a kitchen, heíll break into commercials. He decides to start with Wendyís and runs around the kitchen yelling Whereís the beef? to anyone within earshot.

Quiz: Youíre not really a chef, just a showgirl with a feather sticking out of youíre ass. Who is Gordon referring to?

a) Sharon
b) Rosanne
c) Petrozza
d) Jean Philippe

Surprise, surprise, Gordon shuts it down.

Gimme Your JacketÖAnd That Feather In YourÖ

After chewing out both teams, Gordon decides that the women are losers. (We knew that.) At least the men sent out half of their entrees. Corey woke up and was the best of the worst, so she gets to nominate two of her teammates for elimination. Sheís happy and she knows it, clap your hands. Most of the dorm chatter is that Sharonís got to go. Coreyís talking with the boys, who realize sheís going to target the strong.

At the nomination ceremony, Corey nominates strategically. Her first choice is Christina, whom she claims treats her like a dumb blonde. Then she goes after Jen for personal reasons. Oh yeah, thatís exactly what you want to publicly announce in week 2ÖI hate you, get the hell away from me. Just draw the target on your back.

Gordon gives the girls a chance to state their cases to stay. Christina cries, to the delight of the boys, while Jen decides this is a great time to launch her own one-hour talk show. After Gordon wakes everyone up, he announces his decision.

Instapoll! Gordon picksÖ

a) Christina, because his chefs only cry when he makes them.
b) Jen, because then he doesnít have to listen to her anymore.
c) None of the above, since he already knew who he was eliminating before Corey opened her mouth. And besides, Sharon kept flashing that tongue but never offered him any.

If you picked a or b, have you ever seen this show before?

Gordon says thereís one person here he doesnít trust, and heís sending her home. Bye bye Barbie, I mean, Sharon.

Next weekÖsurprise, surprise, Jen and Christina arenít happy with Corey now.

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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: Season 4: Hellís Kitchen Episod... Seana 04-14-08 1
 RE: Season 4: Hellís Kitchen Episod... mysticwolf 04-14-08 2
 RE: Season 4: Hellís Kitchen Episod... Cyndimaus 04-14-08 3
 RE: Season 4: Hellís Kitchen Episod... jbug 04-14-08 4
 RE: Season 4: Hellís Kitchen Episod... Ahtumbreez 04-15-08 5
 RE: Season 4: Hellís Kitchen Episod... Silvergirl1 04-18-08 6
 RE: Season 4: Hellís Kitchen Episod... bullzeye 04-25-08 7

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Seana 5044 desperate attention whore postings
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04-14-08, 01:39 AM (EST)
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1. "RE: Season 4: Hellís Kitchen Episode 2 Official Summary: Barbieís Dream-World Kitchen"
Oh, well done! I liked:

- The Instpolls

- Iíve never been in a Bentley before. The only boat Iíve ever gotten near is the Love Boat. Iíve never eaten with utensils before. Hey look, Iíve got opposable thumbs!

- Oh yeah, thatís exactly what you want to publicly announce in week 2ÖI hate you, get the hell away from me. Just draw the target on your back.


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mysticwolf 10692 desperate attention whore postings
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04-14-08, 02:03 AM (EST)
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2. "RE: Season 4: Hellís Kitchen Episode 2 Official Summary: Barbieís Dream-World Kitchen"
Dear Lord Dark Lord! This had me ROTFLMAO. A true Master Mistress of Snark production!

Loved it all, but have one question... This surprises absolutely none of the significant others of the menís team.

Do you really think any of these guys have a significant other, um... that's not their mom... or, was it just part of your excellent snark?

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Cyndimaus 3117 desperate attention whore postings
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04-14-08, 10:35 AM (EST)
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3. "RE: Season 4: Hellís Kitchen Episode 2 Official Summary: Barbieís Dream-World Kitchen"
Excellent summary. I enjoyed it very much.


Spring ushered in by Sharnina
Maus Blog

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jbug 16685 desperate attention whore postings
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04-14-08, 04:45 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: Season 4: Hellís Kitchen Episode 2 Official Summary: Barbieís Dream-World Kitchen"
RTVW had the world's most talented bunch of writers!
Great job Bebo.


One of Shar's unique creations

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04-15-08, 11:36 AM (EST)
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5. "RE: Season 4: Hellís Kitchen Episode 2 Official Summary: Barbieís Dream-World Kitchen"
*Paula seal clap

Loved the Instapolls!

*another Paula seal clap for good measure


Agman took me to the islands

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04-18-08, 06:20 AM (EST)
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6. "RE: Season 4: Hellís Kitchen Episode 2 Official Summary: Barbieís Dream-World Kitchen"
LAST EDITED ON 04-26-08 AT 04:01 AM (EST)

Oh, great Bebo, I love how you weave your magic for us.

Oh great, a spinoffÖHellís Plumber.

Personally, I question giving any of these Pillsbury Bake-off Rejects sharp objects


Oh, darn, I can't copy the whole thing, but it was great. Thanks!



Tribelicious, 2008

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bullzeye 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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04-25-08, 11:40 AM (EST)
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7. "RE: Season 4: Hellís Kitchen Episode 2 Official Summary: Barbieís Dream-World Kitchen"
Awesome Summary Bebo! Glad I saved it for a rainy day!

Many quotable quotes but for some strange reason, this one stood out:

Since she lacks Benís experience in, um, smacking the halibut, her effort falls short,

Bwahahahahaha!!!!


Chiseled by Abman Agman!

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