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"** BLOWSVIVOR EPISODE 10 ACT 2 **"
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dabo 25344 desperate attention whore postings
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08-08-01, 12:57 PM (EST)
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"** BLOWSVIVOR EPISODE 10 ACT 2 **"
LAST EDITED ON 08-08-01 AT 04:25 PM (EST)

BlowsVivor

Episode 10: "The Birds!"

Act 2: "Mandelbrot Set"

Finally, back from the commercial break that threatened to put us all to sleep, day 28 continues somewhere near the DAW camp, George Tirebiter is out foraging, comes upon Outfrontgirl who is also out foraging.

George Tirebiter: I had to get away from camp for awhile. Fortunately, my system can handle the food I limited myself to, but we need the evening breeze to blow in before it gets livable there again.
Outfrontgirl: I know what you mean, you would have thought at least IceCat could handle any kind of pizza, he probably lives on the stuff, but Ye Gawdz! (waves hand in front of nose in an over-emphasized gesture)
George Tirebiter (resting back on a dubious mound): What did you think of the supplies we got to haul back in our new purses? Didn't I tell you they wouldn't let us --

Suddenly the hill behind George Tirebiter gave way and she fell into the gap.

Outfrontgirl: Are you alright?
George Tirebiter: Wow, there's a cache of props in here from some old movie, a Western! How did this stuff get forgotten about?
Outfrontgirl: Oh, this old backlot, there's probably all kinds of forgotten things buried around the place.

Then, after the camera crew got located inside the hollow hill, George Tirebiter and Outfrontgirl explored their find.

Outfrontgirl: This tomahawk should come in handy, maybe the peacepipe as well.
George Tirebiter: Here's an old deck of cards, a poncho, a vest ... Oh My God! (click!)
Outfrontgirl: What?
George Tirebiter (holding a baggie, she opens and sniffs the contents): It's Acapulco Gold! I haven't seen any of this for simply ages, it must be ancient!
Outfrontgirl: It may still be good, though, the way it was preserved in here.

Well, they hauled their find back to camp, adding to the growing pile of needed provisions. That night around the campfire all the castaways gathered and swapped reminders of what they'd been through that day, let's skip that part because they must be bored beyond redemption to have done that, and finally they went to bed in the new shelter. Later that night by the Night Cam:

SnoopySucks, WoodstockBite and Mr. PlayBunny got together away from the shelter somewhere.
SnoopySucks: rr rr rrrr rr rr {what took you so long, I was beginning to think you would never get here}
WoodstockBites: " "" """ "" "" " {we had to track down what was going on at Monkeyboy Island, you wouldn't believe the mess we found there}
Mr. PlayBunny: *** ** ** *** * ** *** {well, you're here now, what's the plan?}
WoodstockBites: "" " "" " """ " " {we have to wait and see for the moment, wait for the barn owl to return}
SnoopySucks: rr rr r rrrr r rrr r {how is she holding up on this, I hardly even got to see her}
WoodstockBites: """ " "" "" "" """ {our darling figured out the problems on the island and we set things straight, just trust that she knows what she's doing here}
Mr. PlayBunny: *** * ** *** ** ** *** {well, I'm sick of supporting wannabe stage magicians, and I haven't played a practical joke in months, I'm going stir craa-a-a-azy in that hat!}
SnoopySucks: rr rrr rr rrr rrr r rr {you just keep a grip on yourself, we'll get this curse licked yet}

Then there were transitional shots to morning and day 29, a squirrel jumped out of a tree somewhere near the DAW camp, followed by Survivorerist who fell on the ground with a pointy stick in his hand.

Survivorerist (confessional): Since the flood my provider strategy hasn't been working all that well, and if they're going to keep feeding us I may have to get even trickier with my other strategy. I was really counting on the others starving and growing weak while I kept my strength up with my wiles. I nearly got booted in the last tribal council, I think it's time to escalate things in a different direction. We're even up now, hopefully we can make this play so we come out on top. I mean, we're getting pizza later today, this is obviously not quite the game I thought it was. I forgot to take into account the TV angle, I won't make that mistake again.

Then there were more transitional shots, all of the castaways having a light brunch of spicy tortillas made by George Tirebiter and Outfrontgirl, and they all got to giggling a bit for no obvious reason. Then Dangerkitty fetched a book back from the treemail, read out a lousy rhyme about how they better study up for the challenge this morning, and they all started leafing through the picture pages wondering what it might be all about.
RudyRules: These are all diagrams showing various mechanical principles.
IceCat: Pretty basic stuff actually.
Dangerkitty: I'm going to get a headache from this, what do you suppose it's all about?
Survivorerist: I think it means we have to jump off a cliff.
Well, they all laughed at that one, then there were transitional shots and they all ended up back at challenge beach where AyaProbe lined them all up in front of massive boxes with bull's-eyes painted on, in the background a tarp covered something obviously soon to be revealed.

AyaProbe: The boxes in front of you each contain first, a carton with ten colored hardboiled eggs, IceCat's are blue, Dangerkitty's pink, George Tirebiter's orange, Survivorerist's green, Outfrontgirl's purple, and RudyRules' red. The boxes also contain the most incredibly complete erector sets you've ever seen, courtesy of the sponsor with more things to sell than you can ever know! Your object in this game, "Fire It Up," is to build a catapult with at least twelve Rube Goldberg actions, and fire all your eggs at this!

He then pulled off the tarp to reveal one of those funky as all get-out SUCoffins-on-Wheels. Naturally, George Tirebiter got up on her soapbox, well the memory of it anyway.

George Tirebiter: What, I protest! Everyone knows you don't egg a car with hardboiled eggs, that's just ridiculous, for this to be a proper demonstration --
But before she could get her steam up AyaProbe stepped in.
AyaProbe: No backtalk on this one, George, the sponsor wants kids to get the wrong idea about egging a car. Well, you all had your chance to study the book, so get going on building your catapults!

Well, realizing the immunity necklace was up for grabs on this one, they all scrambled to open their boxes and started in right away trying to build their catapults. After several edit cuts, SnoopySucks barking encouragement, eventually things started to take shape, by the shadows from the sun I'd say that took a few hours, but as I say odd looking contraptions did eventually emerge there on the challenge beach, IceCat's being especially odd-looking and even elaborate beyond reason.

AyaProbe (sipping a lemonade): This is incredible, IceCat, practically a museum piece. You realize the object of the game is not to create abstract art, don't you?
IceCat: Well, I had a flash of inspiration at the catapult concept, thought something built along the lines of fractal theory would satisfy the Rube Goldberg requirement. I expect to have this tested and working pretty soon.

Well, AyaProbe went down the line to keep things even, spoke briefly with each of the players while taunting them with his big cup of iced lemonade. Dangerkitty was constructing her catapult on the concept of a better mousetrap, George Tirebiter on her knowledge of stills, Survivorerist was trying to perfect the pitching machine (as if it weren't already perfected), Outfrontgirl drawing on the only thing she knew was doing her best to make hers along the lines of a kitchenwhiz duz-it-all, and RudyRules was simply basing his on a missile launcher though he was having a bit of trouble trying to get all the twelve actions in. Eventually, though, things started to happen.

> KAPOP! < RudyRules' launcher sent the first red egg sailing up in an arc to land on the roof of the SUCoW.
AyaProbe: RudyRules is 1 for 1!
> THAPWING < Survivorerist's pitcher hurled a hard fast green to smack into the side of the SUCow.
AyaProbe: Survivorerist is 1 for 1!
George Tirebiter's still began wheezing and whirring and building up steam. Dangerkitty then fell into her mousetrap sending all her pink eggs smashing into the ground.

AyaProbe: Dangerkitty disqualified! What happened, DK?
Dangerkitty: I .. urk urk (her mousetrap started wrenching her around) .. I slipped .. ack ack .. RRRRowlll .. shouldn't have based this on .. ack urk urk Houdini's pillory mystery .. RRRRowlll .. but I'll --
AyaProbe: Keep working, all of you, Dangerkitty's on her own, no one helps her! She is an escape artist, among other things, so this should be interesting.

And then RudyRules' second egg hit the target, then Survivorerist's second egg smashed into the SUCow. Outfrontgirl's first egg then dropped out of her kitchenwhiz on the ground, but perfectly peeled.
Outfrontgirl: Shoot, wrong function! (She then picked up the peeled egg, brushed it off, and popped it in her mouth while trying to figure out what went wrong.)

Dangerkitty: RRRRRRROWWWWLLLLLL!!! urk urk .. this can't be happening .. there's no such thing as a purrrrfect mousetrap .. ack ack.

> SQUAAAAKKK!!! < Then IceCat's monstrously complex doohicky fired out a fully grown blue hen which landed stunned in front of the target.
Survivorerist: I can't believe it, I just can't believe it!
AyaProbe: Uh ... (blinking his eyes to make sure he actually saw what he actually saw) uh ... That's one miss each for IceCat and Outfrontgirl. Good God, how'd that happen, IceCat?
IceCat: Incredible, just incredible, who knew a catapult constructed to imaginary numbers would have such a replicating fractal application, this could revolutionize the agricultural economy of the whole world, we might even be able to save California with something like this!

Well, no one really understood what he went on about after that, and his machine continued firing out blue hens that just missed the SUCoW to end up in a pile of dazed twitching feathers. and Outfrontgirl ate three more eggs before she finally got her kitchenwhiz into toss mode, but RudyRules and Survivorerist kept at it neck and neck, while Dangerkitty continued to attempt to writhe her way out of her Houdini trap, and there were the standard edits to fit it all in to the program and make the action impossible to follow, and finally:

> FZZZZZZ-KAPOWOWOWOW!!! < George Tirebiter's still erupted sending all ten of her eggs at once towards the SUCoW.
> THAPWINGGG!!! < Survivorerist's pitcher hurled the tenth green egg at the target!
> KAPOP < And RudyRules' launcher lofted the tenth red egg at the target!
Heading for the finish, it seemed in a slow motion moment George Tirebiter was going to come from behind to take the prize, but then Survivorerist's green egg collided with one of her orange eggs and they both careened away from the SUCoW so only nine of the oranges hit the target, and then --

> THWAP! < RudyRules' final red egg smacked into the roof of the SUCoW!

AyaProbe: That's a perfect ten for RudyRules, George Tirebiter and Survivorerist only got nine, RudyRules wins!

> SQUAAAAKKKK! < And a tenth blue hen joined the pile, IceCat barely even noticed as RudyRules was awarded the condom necklace of immunity. Then the five castaways gathered up the ten blue hens in the tarp, and Survivorerist had the presence of mind to haul away what he hadn't used of his erector set, leaving Dangerkitty and AyaProbe behind on challenge beach as they headed back to camp. AyaProbe, watching Dangerkitty still trying to wriggle free as her mousetrap kept bumping and scraping her around, instructed the crew to make sure to get it all on film, then he got on his cellular Swiss army knife.

AyaProbe: I think we've got another winner for the underground video market, see who we can dig up who has his hand in the disgusting end of things ... Oh, he'd be perfect ... Alright, get back to me when the arrangements have been made.
Then he walked off.

Dangerkitty: I'll get you for this, Ayaprobe .. urk urk .. I'll get the mailing list, tear out all their eyes .. ack ack .. and I'll make you eat them, you hear me! RRRRooowLLLLL!!!

Transition shots, then back at camp Survivorerist and IceCat busied themselves constructing a chicken coop, Survivorerist using the remnants of the erector set to construct a fence around it, while RudyRules fetched them construction material. George Tirebiter and Outfrontgirl busied themselves making a more comfortable sleeping floor, using the tarp.

George Tirebiter (confessional): I'm kind of happy for RudyRules that he won immunity, it's nice he finally won something, but now we'll have to pick a new target for the next tc. That's a shame, I just know he has to be carrying a lot of votes from before the merge, older people are just a liability in the team competitions, it's a shame but it's true. It would have been a sure thing, you know. I may have to go with an alternate plan now.

Shot of Outfrontgirl and Geroge Tirebiter at the cooking fire.
Outfrontgirl: I'm ill, I think something may have been wrong with those eggs I ate.
George Tirebiter: What are you brewing?
Outfrontgirl: I'm making a tea with sassafras root and nettles, it should calm my stomach. What are you up to?
George Tirebiter: I'm mixing up some willow bark and featherfew to make a salve for Dangerkitty when she gets back, I think she's going to need it.
Outfrontgirl: You know, if we mixed these together with some wild catnip and --
George Tirebiter: Yes, horsetail too, I see where you're going, this is something that could work for us!
Outfrontgirl: We need a binding agent, though.

Just then Survivorerist walked by.
George Tirebiter: Survivorerist, do you think you could find us some wild honey somewhere?
Survivorerist: Whatever you're cooking, smells great! I think I know just where to find some wild honey for you!
And then he ran off, thrilled to be able again to play the part of provider. And Outfrontgirl and George Tirebiter high-fived and smiled and giggled wickedly.

IceCat (excited, animated): Five minutes ago something happened that was just incredible!

Shot of IceCat and RudyRules at the chicken coop.
IceCat: RudyRules, you've got to see this!
RudyRules: What is it?

Then IceCat clapped and the ten hens lined up, winked their left eyes in unison, waved their right wings in unison, then linked up wing to wing and started doing a chorus line kick, and really smart too!

IceCat: Isn't that just incredible! (Then he bounded away in ecstatic bliss.)
RudyRules: You shouldn't get emotionally attached to food, you know.
SnoopySucks: Woof Woof {I don't think he heard you.}

Back to IceCat bouncing in his disheveled tennies.
IceCat: Things are heating up in our camp!

And then we were into commercials again. Oh, neat, it's Superman selling plastic money, just what the world needs more of those things, but at least it's another new commercial. Oh, cool, then it's:

MakeItStop: Is your love life leaving you confused?
Tony Randall: Does your job seem like a deadend nowhere?
MakeItStop: Then just call MakeItStop's Mystic Hotline!
Tony: Yes, we know everything and we're willing to share that knowledge with you at bargain rates!
MakeItStop: Caller, what is it you want to know?
LisaPooh: Well, my name's Lisapooh and I have some friends who have just been missing for awhile, I was hoping you could tell me where they are.
MakeItStop: Not to worry, darling, your friends are safe!
Tony: Yes, they're just taking part in a "dramality" TV show, the confidentiality agreements they made meant they couldn't let you know what's going on.
Lisapooh: Wow, who wrote this cockamamie drivel, my script now has me tricking Kismet into saying her name backwards!
Tony: Not to worry, we foresaw that cunning plan and neatly averted it by not even having Kismet present for this commercial.
Lisapooh: Wow, you guys really are good!

And so it went, and then there were some more commercials but we already got them memorized {yawn}.

To Be Continued ...

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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: ** BLOWSVIVOR EPISODE 10 ACT 2 ... PepeLePew13 08-08-01 1
   RE: ** BLOWSVIVOR EPISODE 10 ACT 2 ... dabo 08-08-01 6
 Two down... AyatollahKhomeini 08-08-01 2
   RE: Two down... Lisapooh 08-08-01 5
 RE: ** BLOWSVIVOR EPISODE 10 ACT 2 ... mistofleas 08-08-01 3
   RE: ** BLOWSVIVOR EPISODE 10 ACT 2 ... Lisapooh 08-08-01 7
       RE: ** BLOWSVIVOR EPISODE 10 ACT 2 ... mistofleas 08-08-01 8
 RE: ** BLOWSVIVOR EPISODE 10 ACT 2 ... George Tirebiter 08-08-01 4
 RE: ** BLOWSVIVOR EPISODE 10 ACT 2 ... RudyRules 08-08-01 9
 The Multi-Dimensional Chicken Canno... IceCat 08-08-01 10

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PepeLePew13 24731 desperate attention whore postings
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08-08-01, 02:22 PM (EST)
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1. "RE: ** BLOWSVIVOR EPISODE 10 ACT 2 **"
Looking great so far, dabs! Very well written and entertaining. The curiousity is going to kill us if you're going to keep us waiting much longer for the next installment...



"Permit me to introduce myself. I am Pepe Le Pew, your lover."

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dabo 25344 desperate attention whore postings
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08-08-01, 05:33 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: ** BLOWSVIVOR EPISODE 10 ACT 2 **"
Thanks, all, for your comments. Unfortunately, I've been having a log-on problem with my isp this afternoon, it seems to have cleared up but for awhile I was worried they might have got hit by Code Red II. Anyway, I'm hoping to have part 3 up tonight some time, and 4 hopefully no later than tomorrow morning.

"If the race of man should be left naked upon a desert island, we should become extinct in six weeks. A few individuals might linger, but in a year would become worse than monkeys." (Samuel Butler, "Erewhon")

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AyatollahKhomeini 2008 desperate attention whore postings
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08-08-01, 03:05 PM (EST)
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2. "Two down..."
dabo, I think you're following in OFG's wake here -- loved this:

>>>IceCat: Incredible, just incredible, who knew a catapult constructed to imaginary numbers would have such a replicating fractal application, this could revolutionize the agricultural economy of the whole world, we might even be able to save California with something like this!<<<

Geez, my plan to starve these guys fell apart; they just became too lethargic. Who needs three days of video of people sitting on their butts? Better for it to smell like butt. But...does Rudy Rules get to keep the car?

Love the commercials, too. See, Lisapooh, a personal plea to be included works wonders!

Looking forward to "Omphalos."

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Lisapooh 12664 desperate attention whore postings
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08-08-01, 04:50 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: Two down..."
Yes AK - I've learned that non-stop whining and blatant ass-kissing are the keys to successful interpersonal communication. I'll be holding a seminar on these topics some time in the near future - seating is limited, so reserve your seats now!

Dabo, you are my new hero!!! I'm on the psychic hot line!!! That rocks!!!

BTW - this is awesome from top to bottom Dabo - bring on part 3!!!

pooh

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mistofleas 8043 desperate attention whore postings
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08-08-01, 04:29 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: ** BLOWSVIVOR EPISODE 10 ACT 2 **"
LAST EDITED ON 08-08-01 AT 04:35 PM (EST)

Dabo baby, this is great! I'm having so much fun reading this episode. I'm intrigued big time. Hints of curses...GT and OFT using herbs and "brewing" something, binding agents. All very interesting. Are you going to out yourself as a wiccan Dabo? With the exception of featherfew as opposed to feverfew, you got yourself one heck of a potion going in this episode. More, more...I wanna see more!!!


witchofleas --looks into her crystal ball for a peek at the next act

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Lisapooh 12664 desperate attention whore postings
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08-08-01, 05:36 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: ** BLOWSVIVOR EPISODE 10 ACT 2 **"

this sig pic ROCKS mist!!!!

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mistofleas 8043 desperate attention whore postings
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08-08-01, 09:17 PM (EST)
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8. "RE: ** BLOWSVIVOR EPISODE 10 ACT 2 **"
Why thank you Lisa...and you're little pooh too!!!


witchofleas --having way too much fun tonight!!

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George Tirebiter 2982 desperate attention whore postings
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08-08-01, 04:45 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: ** BLOWSVIVOR EPISODE 10 ACT 2 **"
LMAO! As if Tony Randall wasn't bizarre enough, we now have MakeItStop and (YEAAAAHH!) Lisapooh!

I knew somehow that RR wouldn't be leaving just yet--but the catapult contest was inspired lunacy!

And you thought Episode 9 would be hard to follow. . .

GT

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08-08-01, 09:48 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: ** BLOWSVIVOR EPISODE 10 ACT 2 **"
"Phew!" That missle launcher competition was right up my alley!
Great job Dabo, welcome Lisapooh and Makeitstop as new commercial spokesmen!
SnoopySucks just loves being back and with her buddy, WoodstockSucks!

"Them people had to be pretty dumb to put their camp in a riverbed." - Rudy Boesch

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08-08-01, 10:46 PM (EST)
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10. "The Multi-Dimensional Chicken Cannon..."
It is difficult to view this multi-dimensional construct in three dimensions let alone only two dimensions. I shall endeavour to do my best. Please keep in mind that this object actually exists inside a 7 dimensional non-orthogonal space and that the representation here does not truly do it justice.

You can, however, in this view see the aperture through which the hens are emitted when the device is under full power.



   Meow!

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