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""Be The Survivor"S40, Ep01: "Meh-ist of the Mehs""
RollDdice 5916 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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02-12-20, 09:37 PM (EST)
 
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""Be The Survivor"S40, Ep01: "Meh-ist of the Mehs"" |
Once again we have scoured every continent, every bowling alley, every Piggly Wiggly and every Survivor Casting Director's Rolodex to find, clean, rehab and recondition our Greatest of the Greats.From the "Oh, I sort of remember her" to the "Say what, now?" we have assembled the best of prior Survivor players, picked just past the peak of freshness for your dining and dancing pleasure. In addition, and in keeping with the current political climate, we're bringing back the Edge of Extinction, which gives players who have been voted out according to the rules a chance to re-enter the game. There's also the introduction of Fire Tokens. While you'd think that these were only available at the free clinic to relieve some Stage 3 STD symptoms, they're actually a form of currency that will allow players to buy advantages throughout the game. At the helm once again is the affable host of Survivor, Jeff "Jiffy Pop" Probst. He's the Host, an Executive Producer, and an Emmy Award winner. His nickname on the set is "The One Take Wonder" and yes, he has enough kompromat on me to keep his job forever. Tonight's episode is two hours long and after all of the players introduce themselves, we hear about everyone's strategy, get the "So, what've you been doing since graduation...?" lowdown, reveal alliances... and we get our commercials in, it'll be time for your nightly news. So settle in and enjoy Weiners at War. Mark "Planning the Sandra and Rob in a Cage Match Pay-Per-View event" Burnett  Bounce or Die by IceCat
"We have a blind date with Destiny and it looks like she's ordered the lobster." --The Shoveler, Mystery Men.
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Aruba 3214 desperate attention whore postings
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02-14-20, 10:02 AM (EST)
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1. "RE: "Be The Survivor"S40, Ep01: "Meh-ist of the Mehs"" |
To those who frequent these Boards, it is no surprise I took a pass Wednesday night when CBS aired its Premier showing a bunch of returnees playing “Weiners at War.” Consequently, my sister (who never misses an episode even when not a “real” season) darn near begged me to watch the episode when I told her I didn’t...and she played hardball refusing to tell me ANYTHING yet raving how good the Premier was. In my own installment of Blood vs. Water, I caved in and caught the two-hour kick-off.OK, I’ll admit it was a pretty decent Premier considering the lame opening episodes we’ve been subjected to in prior seasons. So, while still fresh in my mind the Aruba Commission has reconvened (for now) to present its observations/findings from Wednesday’s showing:
#1 – Even as an appropriate basher of Production, credit will be given when merited. It is no small task trying to fit 20 castaways in a two-hour Premier. Overall, Production did a commendable job editing all 20 castaways within that timeframe. Whereas, it would be impossible to give equal airtime to each player, the Commission concludes Sandra came out ahead from this episode’s edit.
#2 – What should be blatantly obvious to any Survivor faithful is the pathetic pre-gaming that is allowed among returnees before an unreal season “officially” commences. It is a cheating tactic that was pretty much confirmed after S8 (the season they had the audacity to call “All-Stars”.) For those still oblivious to this sad ploy, you need not look much further than Sandra. Being a real “Whiner” at War bellyaching with a bug up her queen-sized butt over how Rob did NOT let her know beforehand he would be participating in this season is the equivalent of holding up a neon sign with bright letters flashing “PRE-GAMING IS ALLOWED!!!” #3 – With Rob and Sandra fresh off a 39-day gig secluded on the Island of the Idols, one would presume some recent weight loss. Their girths seem to suggest otherwise. Apparently, a portion of the do-re-mi they raked in from previous seasons was used to feed their bellies. Or whatever portion was left after the IRS takes its cut (unless, of course, your name is Richard Hatch.) #4 – Kudos goes to Sarah and Jeremy who earned MVP honors in the first two challenges respectively. Top notch efforts!! The spirit of Survivor lives on! #5 – Speaking of challenges, Dakal had to sit someone out for the second tribal challenge. HMMM, Golly Gee...now who would that be?? ROFLMAO! Sandra does her best Arnold Horshack (Welcome Back Kotter) imitation with an “OOO OOO ME, ME!” As if listening to Jeff flapping his trap nonstop during a challenge is not enough, now we are subjected to Sandra as well? There’s a reason she’s on the sidelines...so PLEASE park your big ‘ole butt on the bench and shut that annoying hole in your face! #6 – If you’re going to have to answer for having your hand(s) in the Cookie Jar...at least come out with an Oreo! Perhaps Denise and Adam getting lost was legit, but they had to know negative speculation would ensue. Take advantage of that bad situation and make an attempt to find a HII for crying out loud! #7 – Only TWO DAYS into the game and we have to listen to a bunch of weeping willows crying over being away from their families. Geez Louise! And what day in the game is the Loved Ones visit? Whatever day it occurs, bring your umbrella and galoshes and brace yourself for a waterworks Survivor emotional train wreck of monumental proportions. #8 – Fresh off Oscar weekend, Natalie and Amber both receive a 5% rating from Rotten Tomatoes in the Best Actress category. To deliberate more than even one nanosecond over who would get their token before embarking for the Island of Extinction was beyond embellishment especially with the board separated by tribe and the castaways conveniently placed in alphabetical order. Was there ANY doubt Natalie would bequest her token to her bro Jeremy and Amb”a” to her hubby??? #9 – It gets worse...a 1% rating from Rotten Tomatoes goes to CBS in the Adapted Screenplay category allowing an Idol to be “Coltoned” to a lucky castaway. Sandra was the fortunate recipient of this recycled travesty. #10 – The Survivor Groupie Award goes to Ben in a landslide. You’d think after Jeff announced the $2 Million Dollar Prize, the stars in his eyes would be replaced with dollar signs. If our Veteran Hero doesn’t snap out of it soon, those “stars” will be looking a whole lot dimmer from the Island of Extinction. #11 – When the men and women initially were introduced separately, Kim had to be licking her chops hoping for another tailormade “battle of the sexes” to start the season...but it was not to be. Not surprisingly, what followed was some boo-hooing prior to Dakal’s first TC. She ultimately benefitted when others decided to victimize Amber whose association with Rob was perceived more dangerous than some Poker Alliance. Time will tell if she hangs on long enough to start growing another ‘stache similar to the one we saw forming in One World. #12 – Another former “winner” not benefitting from a favorable star/planet alignment enjoyed the first time around is Michelle. This was evident by being left out of the loop at the first TC. If anyone this season would be able to fly UTR it is Michelle. Even if that should carry her to the end, she’ll need the Jury to overdose on Bitter Betty pills to have a shot at duplicating the “So Wrong” season outcome. #13 – Considering the average age of this cast with many in relationships and some with families, any possibility of horny toads and skanky hos hooking up in sappy showmances will be remote at best. ALLELUJAH!!! #14 – The one alliance least likely a pre-gaming cheat is Yul/Nick/Sophie/Wendell. This group advancing to the endgame would be true poetic justice!
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michel2 3600 desperate attention whore postings
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02-14-20, 11:51 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: "Be The Survivor"S40, Ep01: "Meh-ist of the Mehs"" |
LAST EDITED ON 02-14-20 AT 11:53 PM (EST)With Tribes named Nadal and Seles you'd expect a men versus women season but, alas, it wasn't to be. I found the three earlier itiration to be quite funny seasons but we'll have to do with Production's decision on the way to split the tribes. We can say that production didn't do Jeremy and Natalie any favors by putting them together on the same tribe. While Hunahpu didn't hear about Farmer Dale's almanac in time to eliminate Natalie as Coyopa did with Nadya, Monica Seles used her once powerful backhand to knock Natalie all the way to the edge of extinction. That way she'll know exactly how her twin felt. After all, being twins, it is only right that they get the same experiences in life. Maybe Nadya will win if they ever get the stupid idea of having a season with 20 first boots. Leave it to Probe to have such stupid ideas...
Speaking of the Monica Seles tribe, I'd really like to see the old school alliance of Rob, Ethan, Parvati and Danni succeed but Rob's presence makes that unlikely. Also, the recency bias clearly favors the newer players with 13 of the 20 winners coming from the last 20 seasons. I'll still say GO DANNI! GO ETHAN!
The Rafael Nadal Tribe also has an interesting alliance of Yul, Sophie, Nick and Wendell and Yul was smart enough to add Sandra to his group right at the start of the second cycle. It's funny to see Yul on the Nadal Tribe considering that on episode 1 of Cook Islands I compared him to Roger Federer and it was Ozzy who was playing the role of Nadal! The vote against Amber was a no-brainer and I was happy about that because the decision came down to either Mrs. Mariano and Kim who is my favorite. Now, we will be able to see if Kim is a truly gifted player if she is able to recover from her present predicament. And finally, a few side notes: Ben is a damn snitch who, hopefully, gets caught and his treachery exposed. Michelle was left out of her tribe's first vote but her next vote could become decisive now that the tribe is at 9. Her original game play was to align with the women of Gondol and To Tang so, even if Ben approached her first, I wouldn't be surprised to see her going with Parvati and Danni. Now the players don't even have to look for an idol, it pops up in their bag when they wake up... (Of course it popped up in Hantz's pants also but that's another story) At least Natalie had the good idea of giving it to Sandra, one of the most interesting strategist out there.
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