Hello again, it is I Mr. Pornstache Detective Fish fresh from the ICU wing of the RRR Girls finishing school for tender loving, kissing, massaging, and loving (did I say that already?) care of disabled veterans. Not being a veteran in the military sense, I had to be a bit creative on the admitting forms, but despite my head injury I am as sharp as a sharp pointy stick. I think so anyway, there are dissenting voices among the unbelievers, but as we all know, those that don’t believe me are just wrong.
Anyway, can you hear me? I still have a ringing in my ears so I’m never sure these days, but…What? Where are those voices coming from? Now I hear Cathedral bells ringing. Oh, it’s just my Rosary. But I’m not Catholic, why do I have a Rosary? Last rites, I received the last rites? When did that happen? Just before they put my brain back into my skull? And when did THAT happen? Jeeze, you take a short nap on a thin branch high up in a coconut palm, and the next thing you know you’ve had a craniotomy. Oh well, I’m better now. But can you hear me, I still have a ringing in my ears so I’m never sure these days…
So I missed the two hour Survivor. But since Chris and Jessica seem to be missing, I assume that either Taylor ate them in the middle of the night, or they walked the plank. But I see that my Jungle email inbox contains a few spoilers, I’ll post the crème de la Jungle on to you.
Ringy Dingy Spoiler #1: Once again, Famous Last Words, Zeke says that he is just as happy that he is going to win as he is that Dave is going to lose. If those words aren’t telling us that Zeke is going home next, my name isn’t…wait what was it again? Anyway it remains to be seen if Dave wins or not, but if he does, well folks, you heard it here first.
Ringy Dingy Spoiler #2: Theme song, “When Brett cries”. Prince died too soon.
Ringy Dingy Spoiler #3: BTW, did Brett come out as gay? Mr. Bastan Cap? The ear ringing was a little more intense than usual when he and Zeke were singing drinking songs, so, did he?
Ringy Dingy Spoiler #4: Oh yeah. Family schmaltz week. You haven’t seen brother/sister/mom/dad/girlfriend/wife/husband/etc. for twenty days and you miss them so much that you cannot stop the tears of joy. Yeah yeah. 20 days, big deal. Cry me a river. Ok, on my first day at first grade, I missed my parents, but it wasn’t long before I could take that and a lot more. So Boo hoo, get on with the show.
Ringy Dingy Spoiler #5: Adam says he’s playing for the highest stakes ever in the history of the game because his mom has terminal cancer. Very sad. Hopefully he’s not pulling a Johnny Fairplay stunt.
Ringy Dingy Spoiler #6: Sometimes there are genuinely funny moments in Survivor, some that can be highlight reel fodder for years to come. This happened when Adam and Brett became stuck in the sand during the reward challenge. Throw in Ken’s stomach flopping to get thru, and a legendary moment in comedy is born.
Purchase your very own Siggie at Tribes arts and crafts store.