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""Be The Survivor" S33 Ep01: "Talkin' 'Bout My Generation""
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RollDdice 5799 desperate attention whore postings
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09-22-16, 01:26 AM (EST)
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""Be The Survivor" S33 Ep01: "Talkin' 'Bout My Generation""

This Survivor 33 premiere has a lot of bodies to shuffle around so it goes long. An hour and a half long. You may think it drags, but as a result it compresses the Big Bother 18 finale and speeds up the ChenBot. You're welcome.

What Am I Again? We begin with Jeff explaining what "Millennial" means. Then using it in a sentence. Then offering the "Phone a friend" feature. Then he has to spell the word "Gen" for the Gen X crowd. Because they work. At real jobs. With motorboats. Finally Jiffy lets out a sad little moan and plans to crawl back to his trailer for a bottle of tequila and his last shaker of salt.

But first we're treated to a scavenger hunt as The Millennials and Gen Xers scamper around picking up food and supplies. Along the way there are short term (two chickens) or long term (snorkeling gear for fishing) choices. At each of these decisive way points Jiffy strokes his Dr. Freud beard (Thanks Hair & Makeup Department!) and mutters, "Interesting." In the background you can hear professional Bros Taylor and Jay shouting, "Dude! We can totally teach those chickens how to surf!"

In the midst of the chaos Jessica finds a time-release envelope with a key to a "Legacy Advantage" that will pay off for her if she's still around on Day 36. It could be worse; it could have been a Subaru Legacy product placement.

Jiffy's binge drinking will have to wait as mild, fun-loving Fiji throws a tropical hissy-fit and the contestants are off on a Survivor first... a boat/road trip to the local Mana Island Motel 6 ... where they'll leave a torch on for you.



Mark "Tropical Storm. No, I mean Cyclone" Burnett


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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 Welcome to Egg Sucking Nubies Vs. T... kingfish 09-22-16 1
   RE: Welcome to Egg Sucking Nubies V... Aruba 09-22-16 2
       RE: Welcome to Egg Sucking Nubies V... kingfish 09-22-16 3
           Production Note RollDdice 09-22-16 4
               RE: Production Note kingfish 09-22-16 5
               RE: Production Note kingfish 09-22-16 6
               RE: Production Note tribephyl 09-26-16 7
               I'm here sweeties suzzee 09-27-16 8

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kingfish 19401 desperate attention whore postings
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09-22-16, 01:56 PM (EST)
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1. "Welcome to Egg Sucking Nubies Vs. The Dementia Generation. "
LAST EDITED ON 09-22-16 AT 05:18 PM (EST)

We meet again, this time at the premier of Season 33 of Survivor. After 33 seasons it still feels (yawn) fresh and oh so (yawn) new. All over again.

And I am here again to bring you the latest and greatest spoilers. Not hard to do, because half of the competitors actually are spoiled brats that think that they can snowboard for a living, or don't have to finish high school or college to become fabulously wealthy because Zuckerburg and Gates did it. That BG and the Zuck are GenX or pre-GenX doesn't seem to phase them a bit. Conveniently they also haven't had enough math in their curriculums to see the utter futility in depending on one billion to one odds. In other words, they are the next generation of homeless street people, some of whom are destined to be shot crossing the front yards by crabby old Gen-Xers sitting on their porches shaking gnarled arthritic fists at them.

So spoiler alert: They play in the sun and assume someone will take care of them like mommy and daddy always have. So sweet.

But I'm glad they are here, in underwear/bikini mode they make for great down the cleavage watching from my outpost high up a hidden coconut palm. I was assured that this refuge would keep me from being noticed by the castaways. Also, up here, I am safe from the notice of the Federales, they still have me and my merry band of scantily clad neophyte nymphomaniac spoiler hounds, all graduates of the Really Really Raunchy (and I mean Really Really Raunchy) Girls Academy for Moped Mayhem and coconut jugging (not a typo) on their list.

As for my new alias, King Goldfish, I got that when I won the Rio Olympic Marathon by ducking into the race one corner from the end and out-sprinting a couple of winded limping runners. Heck, it was easy. Then they gave me a gold medal and a full body Brazilian, on the house. I didn't know what that was and it hurt a lot, but now when I get oiled up and play pig pile with my nubile spoiler scouts, it's a really nice sensation. Slithery, I can actually swim thru the pile. I didn't know it before, but this is my favorite thing. Should be an Olympic event on it's own.

But enough about me and my beautiful playmates, on with this season's spoilers:

Oiled and Spoiled #1: Old Pornstache claims to be on Twitter. Because, of course, is a Twit. (To easy? Yeah that was pretty easy).

Oiled and Spoiled #2: There is a protest line back at Production camp of Baby Boomers claiming that both tribes are self-indulgent imposters, and behind them another line of WWII Vets claiming that they are the greatest generation. Finally, there are tremors centered on Cemeteries from the 1776 era and the 1860 eras caused by real American Heroes rolling over in protest.

Oiled and Spoiled #3: Dave. Could become a narrator this season if he wasn't such a great target. He has a long road to spiritual growth ahead of him, as well as a lot of hours on a psychologists couch after the show. He spent 16 years learning to be a writer. That tells me that he is an amazingly persistent no talent writer. I'm going to leave the subject of Dave alone for now, but I hope he lasts because lampooning him is gonna be fun.

Oiled and Spoiled #4: Btw, I hate the millennials (you probably guessed by now). I hope they lose at Survivor 33 as pitifully as they will in real life. 18yo Will? I hate him the worst, but I am reassured that anyone who thinks that they don't need education or experience to succeed is guaranteed a beat down life and a seat in any soup kitchen. Such are the rewards of hubris.

Oiled and Spoiled #5: Mari. "We are the best generation ever!" referring to the millennials. Watching them is like watching kittens play, so naïve, so cute. So sweet meat for a Gen X hawk.

Oiled and Spoiled #6: Most entertaining entity this week was the cyclone.



Tribe, Oh Tribe, wherefore art thou, Tribe? Hast thou abandonth usuth, Oh Tribe?


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Aruba 2568 desperate attention whore postings
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09-22-16, 06:48 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: Welcome to Egg Sucking Nubies Vs. The Dementia Generation. "
LAST EDITED ON 09-22-16 AT 06:52 PM (EST)

With 20 castaways in a 90-minute premier I won’t even attempt a list this week...but I’m sure Kingfish will not mind if I continue his Spoiler list:


Oiled and Spoiled #7: Production must have thought they were casting for Gen XL. CeCe is showing up with a while lotta junk in the trunk. And some of the Gen XL men have girths larger than their ages. With the oldest born in 1963 we’re talking about a couple with “dickie-does” status. For those unfamiliar with the term, that’s when a men’s belly sticks out further than his “dickie-does.”

Hey, last season 39 days of dehydration, food deprivation, and antibiotics did a world of good for Aubry’s appearance. Maybe the same will happen to Gen XL...but I’m seriously doubting that.

Oiled and Spoiled #8: The only hottie with any sex appeal becomes the first player voted out. When some chick with a mole on her chin and goes by the name of “Figgy” becomes the object of her male tribemates affection, you know we’re going to have to rely primarily on the breathtaking backdrop of the Fiji Islands for any kind of eye appeal this season.

Oiled and Spoiled #9: Rachel being the first casualty has robbed Kingfish and I the opportunity to continue our discussion on the subject of plastic boobies...with Michel chiming in trying to convince us they’re real.

Oiled and Spoiled #10: Easily the most annoying player coming out of the Premier is Dave. Taking 14 years to become a writer certainly gives additional meaning to the term “writer’s block.” He will need to adapt 13 years and 360 days sooner if he’ll have any chance of surviving in this game.

Oiled and Spoiled #11: Production’s most recent inability to come up with an original twist with any realistic personal advantage is this season’s “Legacy.” It can only be used on Day 36 in a 39-day game. That’s like telling a convicted criminal at the time of his sentencing he’s being given a “get out of jail free” card...but it can only be used after serving 18 ½ years of a 20-year sentence.

Oiled and Spoiled #12: With the theme of the season focusing on the contrast of two different generations, Production must have held its collective breath when BOTH tribes left the hammer behind; but let out a huge sigh of relief over the chickens vs. fishing gear choice. Millennials rationale was chickens lay eggs. I’m going to go out on a limb and predict the sea can produce a heck of a lot more fish than chickens can produce eggs...but I'm not a fisherman nor a farmer by trade, so what do I know?

Oiled and Spoiled #13: When I was in High Sschool you were living on the edge to skip homeroom, grab breakfast at an IHOP or Denny’s, and show up by second period. Now a teenager can cut school to fly to the Fiji islands and play Survivor. Yes indeed...times have changed.

Oiled and Spoiled #14: It’s funny that Gen X complains about the Millennials expecting hand-outs and not having to work hard for anything. Sunday even elaborated on that point referencing her four kids. Well why do you think that is? Let me ask, who is responsible for allowing them to live this charmed lifestyle by dishing hand-outs their way? I know the answer; and I’ll give you a hint...it starts with a “G” and ends with an “X.” So there you have it!

Oiled and Spoiled #15: What would have been a cruel but comical moment to this season’s theme is Jeff telling Gen X at the conclusion of TC, “since you don’t think too highly of participation awards, there will be NO flint waiting for you at camp.” LOL

Well that’s about it for now. Perhaps we’ll have enough next week to start a list.

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kingfish 19401 desperate attention whore postings
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09-22-16, 06:54 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: Welcome to Egg Sucking Nubies Vs. The Dementia Generation. "
LAST EDITED ON 09-22-16 AT 08:32 PM (EST)

Of course not.

And, maybe Tribe will lend his immense graphical talents to giving us "Be The Survivor" tags.

I know it's asking a lot, and Tribe has been so faithful for so long, but we need to know who we are.

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RollDdice 5799 desperate attention whore postings
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09-22-16, 08:37 PM (EST)
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4. "Production Note"

Had a PM back and forth with tribe a week ago and he was on the task, so sigs should be dropping soon.

Sent him a PM reminder just in case he was abducted by Cabana Boys or some other pest/temptation/distraction.

Any sign of the suzzee?



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kingfish 19401 desperate attention whore postings
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09-22-16, 10:32 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: Production Note"
She asked in another forum last week whether the RRR girls would be back this season.

They are. And so should she be.

Apparently I haven't beat that theme quite to death yet.

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kingfish 19401 desperate attention whore postings
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09-22-16, 10:37 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: Production Note"
BTW, what should be our bidding ceiling with the Cabana boys? Keeping in mind that I'm just a poor farm boy living in a cardboard box in a stinkin' alley who don't got nothin', and you have so much.
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tribephyl 12195 desperate attention whore postings
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09-26-16, 00:08 AM (EST)
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7. "RE: Production Note"
eyes ear. eyes joust bizzarer than evah.

Without revealing the sad-sack story in full. I have one shift left and a loved ones surgery to get through, then ...BLAMMO!! they'll be done. Eyes Promise.

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suzzee 5957 desperate attention whore postings
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09-27-16, 01:52 PM (EST)
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8. "I'm here sweeties"
I actually had to go into the On Demand feature because I forgot Survivor was starting. Seriously. What happened to the seasons of rabid anticipation? Scouring Sucks & Blows for any information. I'll tell ya what happened. Work. My job is sucking the brain cells right out of me. I don't want to be a Quality Manager. I. DO. NOT.

It's time consuming and who cares about quality at a wastewater treatment plant. WHO CARES???

sigh.

OK as long as my coconuts are intact I'll carry on and actually try to understand those two whiny generations of losers. Bob help us.



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