LAST EDITED ON 12-14-12 AT 09:13 AM (EST)
”Ding Dong, the witch is dead
Which old witch? The wicked witch!
Ding Dong the wicked old witch is dead.”
“And a wicked old, wicked old, wicked old witch that never ever was.”
Spoiler #1: Once again, after having been bested by me at every turn this season (and in all prior seasons) using my super accurate sourced spoilers, the EPMB just threw in his tear stained towel and gave away the episode in the first 60 seconds. Within 60 seconds after the opening scenes of this episode, Skupin reveals that “Keeping Abi is dangerous going forward”. So, of course, at TC she will be voted as most likely to have a house thrown from a tornado and land on her. She gets the boot and becomes the wicked witch of this week’s spoiler reveal by yours truly.
Spoiler #2: So…the Snuffer is a happy camper. He finally gets to snuff the witch’s evil candle. After 36 days of her honesty and telling it like it is (not being mean, just being honest, you see) Abi is booted. Good for it.
Ironic is a good word for Abi. She believes. She thinks it means something different than what it says in the dictionary, but it’s a cultural thing what with her not speaking English too good (except when she needs to toss barbs over her shoulder while walking away).
Abi also has a moment when she thinks she is “over the moon”. However, it was just Lisa gathering up coconuts. Those granny panties get pretty loose after 36 days on the Island diet.
Spoiler #3: Skupin sat too near the fire again. And the whole world held its breath as he leaned in to check a cooking pot and an ember exploded. Just a smallish burn this time, no big deal, Skupin handles this level of pain on a daily of not momentary basis. And maybe he’s saving the whole body self-immolation thing for the season finale. Anyway - whatev - it felt like déjà vu all over again.
And as if that wasn’t enough temptation for the Fates, he also took a ride in a helicopter with two other
idiots bent on suicide fellow castaways. Again the whole world held its collective breath. Think about it, had that chopper gone down, we would have been left with just Abi and Denise, and of course Denise would have suicided. Following the flight and successful touch down, the whole world gave thanks at having avoided that fate.
Naturally, even that tempting of the gods wasn’t enough for him. In a very original albeit again suicidal move, he tries to be swallowed whole by a whale shark. Possibly the beach “Come –To –Jesus” prayer meeting (held primarily to exorcise the demon that was Abi) moves him to such a religious frenzy that he tries for a Jonah moment. Fortunately Whale Sharks eat small stuff like plankton and little crustaceans, not big scabby slightly singed meat bags.
Spoiler #4: Last week we reported that Penner’s hat was tossed into the fire at TC, and presumably burnt. That report was incomplete. Turns out that the hat had become infested with unidentified (and so far scientifically unclassified) island biota which caused it to jump up and run away instead of landing in the fire. The hat was last seen swinging on vines thru the jungle singing “O Solo Mio” and being chased by a band of monkeys. For their sake it is hoped that the monkeys never catch up. I mean really, haven’t they suffered enough during the last 39 days?
Spoiler #5: Addendum to the Survivor’s Handbook, Chapter 3 “Selection of Personal Items”: Bring ear plugs. Will be useful when tempted to drill bamboo sticks thru your ear drums when left alone with someone like Abi.
Spoiler #6: High Entertainment of the night happens when Skupin, with head still reverberating from his sugar rush, dances and sings the “Wicked Witch is Dead”. Which may be doubly appropriate, because someday Skupin will probably be whittled down to the height of a Munchkin, and be able to join the Lollypop gang.
Spoiler #7: Finally, we see Lisa fully committed to the dark side of the force. She acknowledges that for a million dollars she will make or break any promise, sacrifice anybody or anything, and even laugh evil laughs as she plots her evil new plans.
Wait…Lisa, you are the EPMB, right?
It's all starting to make sense.
The entity called Tribe Made this.
Spoiler Bonus: This is a Reward Challenge for Basher Spoilers: Figure out who is this person that seems to have a degree of introspection and regret about how she played the game. Who can this be?
(can’t wait for Part #2)
If you win, just the satisfaction you’ll get from having figured out this very complicated and profound puzzle will obviously be greater than any monetary or material reward that I or anyone else (except the EPMB, who owns everything in the world) could offer, so, instead, you will get a very handsomely presented virtual cup of the butt from the virtual “Survivor of Choice”. Maybe two cups if the ambience is good and the mood is right. After that, you’re on your own.
Small print disclaimer: If a Hantz is your “Survivor of Choice”, well, first of all, may God have mercy on your poor demented soul, and second, you will be required to sign a lot of waivers.