The Greenhouse Effect

Previously on Big Brother: Howie was HOH, the house tried to evict James, James won the POV and saved himself, so Sarah was evicted instead and Kaysar was voted back into the house. Want to read more about it? Go here!

We last left the hamsters in their glass cage full of flies in the backyard for the HOH competition. As we return, we are shown some reaction to Sarah’s eviction. James figures everyone would think her leaving will make him weaker. Ivette thought the vote would be 4 to 3, but it was 6 to 1. Maggie says it’s not that anyone didn’t like Sarah, she was just an ally of James.

There is a flashback to when Kaysar returned and we are treated to the hamsters gut reactions of the event.

Kaysar: Howie tackled me! Hmmm... was he really just trying to tackle you? Maybe he wanted more.

James: The house is kissing his butt when they voted him out the week before! Gee James, is somebody jealous?

Maggie: (speaking about Crappy) It was a personal blow not having him back in the house. Yeah, well… guess what Maggie? We hate that Napoleanic, hothead! … and we hate you too! You know why? It's because you try to pull that moral superiority card all the time!

Ivette: I thought America fell in love with Cappy just like I did! WAH!!! Guess you were wrong Yellvette, you were sooooo wrong!

Ok America… I have a question for you… I’ll make it multiple choice.

What do you think of Crappy?

a) I love him as much as Ivette loves him.

b) I think he sucks.

c) He’s a fireman, so that makes him a hero in my eyes.

d) Who cares, just as long as he’s not on my TV screen!!!

e) I know a lot of fireman and let me tell you, they are not all heroes! As a matter of fact, some of them just sit around the firehouse, drink beer, play cards, barbeque and watch TV. Plus, the last time they went out on a call, it was to remove a drunk guy in his underwear that was stuck under his tractor in the middle of the night. Those are not heroes. Now the firemen of NYC during 9/11? They are heroes! Please do not compare these guys to the ones who never leave the comfort of the firehouse. You know what, it’s been almost 4 years! I’m sorry, but I’m tired of having that “oooh, he’s a fireman, he must be a hero” crap shoved down my throat!

As the longest HOH competition in history (*yawn*) continues, we are treated to HOH Howie filling in Kaysar about the happenings of the habitrail while he was gone. Mostly, we are treated to a frathouse type display of their sophomoric behavior. You see, one day Beau was showering. (Yup, there is a guy named Beau on this show! …and watch out because he has more than one scene in this episode!) Anyway, he was showering and Howie, being the most sexually confused hamster, just had to get a peek at him. Why? I don’t know, maybe he is really thinking of going to the “dark side” ifyaknowwhatimean. Well, Howie’s just not satisfied with keeping what he has seen to himself, so he gets the ladies of the house to join in the peep show! Ivette tells April that it’s OK if she looks, even though she’s married, because Beau “is gay for crying out loud!”, then she breaks into this asinine song about a “chocolate pee-pee”. Ummm… yeah Ivette, whatever!

Back to the HOH comp, it’s been 5 long hours, it’s after midnight and Howie informs the hamsters that the pantry has now been restocked. The rules are changing and from now on there will be no sitting or kneeling and since none of the hamsters have given up yet, he will open the second box to find... A DEAD FISH! Ewwww!!! The hamsters don’t seem to care too much until the lazy-susan of surprises spins past them and they get a good whiff.

In yet another flashback scene from the past week, we are told that Rachel admires Jen’s dancing ability and Jen thinks that Rachel needs to loosen up a bit. Well, Jen… not all women want to be as “loose” as you. Just sayin’. Jen’s tries to show Rachel how to dance and I think it’s a lost cause, not that Jen would be a very good teacher, mind you, it’s just that Rachel is pretty bad!

Back to the HOH comp. Beau kneels down and his knee touches the floor of the greenhouse thingy. He is out and must choose one of the remaining boxes, so he chooses the blue box and wins… a stocked martini bar! That’s a great prize, especially since he’s stuck in that glass box until two others are eliminated! This guy can not hold his liquor very well and celebrates his loss by mixing up drink after drink while walking around the box slapping people’s asses! Hey, is there anyway that the next America’s Choice could be to vote for which houseguest gets all of the liquor? I think Beau is a pretty funny drunk, especially since he seems to annoy all of the others when he is.

Janelle starts dancing around and her hands slip off her button. Out of the competition, she opens the red box and wins a netflix subscription, a dvd player and a 42 inch plasma TV! Of course, all of the witches who still have their hand on the buttons hate her for it! She grabs a drink from Beau’s martini bar and they toast their loser-ness together.

After some commercials, April wants to quit. Maggie is pissed at her and gives her the evil eye! Beau, having drank just about everything from the martini bar, keeps whining that he has to pee. April “accidentally” slips her hand off of the button, but later confesses that it was no accident. She opens the orange box and wins $3000 cash!!! Ha! Too bad there is no place to spend in that house and if you make it to the jury, you won’t be able to spend it while you’re sequestered either! So, three people have been eliminated and the door finally unlocks so Beau can go to the bathroom without 5 people ogling over his chocolate pee-pee.

It’s been 9 hours and Howie tells the six folks who are left that the rules will now change again and that they must now choose one hand to hold the button, they can switch fingers, but can not switch to the other hand. Soon after, Ivette is caught with both hands on the button. She decides to open the black box and wins, perhaps the only thing on the set that could drown out her voice, an airhorn! Soon after, James decides to give up and walks away from his button because he realized he wanted to win HOH for revenge whereas Ivette wanted it for her family and he doesn’t want to play like that. He opens the silver box and wins a slice of pizza. Maggie, being the moral but greedy moron she is, decides she will quit in order to get the last unopened box and in it we find… ROTTEN EGGS!!! Insert your own metaphor here --->----------!!!

So here we are, down to the final three of Kaysar, Rachel and Jen. There are no more boxes to win and thankfully, no more gosh darn flashbacks!!! Jen cries about wanting to be HOH and then tells us from the DR that it was part of her strategy. She basically promises the world to Rachel and Kaysar if she can win it. Rachel gets distracted by all of the whining and forgets to pay attention to her button. While she is looking away, her finger slips off and she is trapped in the glass house of torture with a whining Jen and Kaysar. By dawn, she is at the point where she swears on her life to do whatever Kasyar wants with the nominations. She will put up two of her own alliance as pawns and backdoor James. As I said, she “swears on her life”.Yes, that’s right “her life”. So then, 82% of America falls to their knees in anguish screaming NOOOOO!!! when Kaysar lets go and lets Jen have HOH. Kaysar is trusting Jen to do what he asks and actually believes she will.

OK, another question!

How do you feel about what Kaysar did in giving up HOH?

a) I’m OK with it because I am a “fiendship” fan.

b) It has to be the dumbest move of the season so far!

c) Jen deserved it because her crying strategy was the best!

d) Why wasn’t Cappy voted back into the house?

e) If Kaysar goes home, he deserves it for this dumbass move. Sure I voted him back into the house, but that was because he was the best player who shook things up before. Emphasis on “was”! After all Kaysar did get a second chance and he blew it. If there were no America’s Choice vote, he would be home right now anyway!

Later on, we a treated to a glimpse of Jen in the HOH room with her not-so-secret-anymore partner April. Jen tells April of her promise to Kaysar to put up two of her own and backdoor James. April, in probably her most rational moment thus far in the season, says she can’t do that. Jen tells Kaysar that Howie, Rachel and Janelle were trying to get Ivette out during the middle of last week.

OK… one more question…

Was Jen telling Kaysar the truth about who wanted Ivette out last week?

a) Yes, she is a woman of her word and Kaysar can trust what she says.

b) Yes, Jen is part of the fiendship and they play this game by the highest moral standards of all BB players in the history of the game.

c) Ummm... I know darn well that there is much more to this issue than is shown in just a 1 hour episode! I will reserve judgement on that until I review the live feed footage, thank you.

Next we are shown the thoughts of some of the hamsters with the nomination ceremony looming:

Howie: I’m dumb, I always feel safe. I like Jen’s boobies.

James: If I’m nominated, oh well, I’ll just win POV. It’s not as if I haven’t done it every week since I’ve been in the house!

Rachel: I never feel safe, I’m paranoid about nominations even when I am HOH.

Kaysar: *evil stare* If my team is nominated, there will be hell to pay. Our deal will be broken and there will be consequences. *evil stare*

Janelle: *giggle* I will seek revenge if I am nominated. *giggle*

We cut to the backyard and Jen screams in her best cheerleader voice: HEY EVERYBODY, IT’S TIME FOR THE NOMINATION CEREMONY!!! *insert fake cheerleader-type smile*

Into the dining room and the keys are pulled in this order: April, Maggie, Ivette, Beau... Hmmm… no surprises so far, the entire fiendship is safe, guess what… Jen must die now because she swore on her life!!! ...then Kaysar, Howie and James. Uh oh, Rachel and Janelle are nominated!

We leave this episode with some hamsters thoughts about the nominations:

James: I was surprised my key was in the box. My key is never in that box.

Jen (our new HOH): I can trust Kaysar, but I can not trust his group.

Rachel: I’m upset because I’m playing for Howie.

Janelle: She is the biggest b!tch and the biggest liar!!! *giggle*

Kaysar: She’s going to pay.

What will happen now that the nominations have been made? Who will win the POV? ... and will they choose to use it? Tune in next time to find out…

Slice & Dice Sigpic Chop Shop 2005