LAST EDITED ON 08-06-02 AT 06:55 PM (EST)Episode 10
************** I Hanker For a Hunka Cheese****************
Previously on Big Brother
* Tonya gets evicted
*Chiara Cries that Tonya is evicted
*Roddy is Head Of Household
*Josh is mad that Lisa voted to evict him
*Amy and Marcellas are nominated for eviction
(NONE of this is new, read my last summary)
Who will win Power of Veto?
Day 21
Amy and Marcellas are upset about being nominated. So they try to out drama queen each other.
Amy- I knew it! It is all about me, they hate me, it is all about A-mee
Marc- I am the Pawn the pawn always goes. The Pawn , the Pawn, I am the Pawn.
Amy- Tacky Tacky Tacky, they hate me and they are so Tacky
Marc- I am the Pawn
Roddy feels so bad, bad sad Roddy. He is hurt and he needs to feel better. So get this! he goes outside to say sorry to Amy and the Pawn. For some reason he thinks they should try to make him feel better. Poor Roddy tells Amy that he is so so sad and sorry, that he likes her and he never got a chance to know her. Wow, he just insulted her during the nomination by telling her she is selfish, and now he likes her and wants to know her better?
Amy in the Diary Room - I made an effort to get to know him, I tried to be nice to him. Afterall he is the only cute, straight, non virgin guy in the house. As soon as I started hanging out with him, MISS THING got her panties all in a wad. ( yes Amy we have heard all about her panties)
Back to Roddy feeling bad- Guys I really am sorry I had to nominate someone and I had deals with everyone else in the house. I feel so bad you didn't kiss my ass more.
Amy tells Roddy they understand. Roddy says , thanks for understanding I need you to feel my pain, I am so sorry. Then he takes his enormous head to the HOH room to hide. Wow, I feel so bad for him. ( NOT)
Marcellas- he has taken up with THAT GIRL! ( hey I remember that show, Marlo Thomas, right?)
Cut to Roddy in the bed, and Oh my, here she comes, it is THAT GIRL!
KiKi- Roddy you did good
Amy- Trashy Trashy Trashy
Roddy- sad and sorry and sad
KiKi in the Diary Room- The nominations that Roddy made, I had a heads up . I kinda sorta helped make the decision for him. I was responsible. I told Roddy if he didn't get rid of Amy he couldn't pet the Kitty anymore. I am fun loving and free spirited that way.
Eric in Diary Room- Amy was nominated because of this whole soap opera thing, and because Kiki promised us all sexual favors if we got rid of cheese girl.
Marcellas tells us that Amy is feeling defeated. To prove how defeated she is feeling, we see Amy sitting on a bed eating mounds of shredded cheddar right off the bedspread. Amy is shoving cheese in her mouth like she thinks it is Valium. Marcellas is calling Amy Amy AMY! "Amy, why do I have to walk through this house callin' Amy? You need to come outside Girl". Amy says, "Ahm not done with my cheese" Looks like Amy won't be done until she has eaten all the cheese in the greater Los Angeles area.
Marcelles- You Cheese eating Nightmare!
Amy- Ah don't want THEM to see me eating my magical cheese.
We then get several slow motion shots of Amy shoving cheese into her mouth, over and over and over. Is cheese a sponser this week?
Amy- I am going to walk around all day with a bible, like Jason does.
Marcellas- You need a Bible to ward off the evil spirits in this B*tch!
Oh Goody an Exorcism!!
Amy and Marcellas are hanging out on the hammock together talking quietly. Apparently Roddy still feels bad. He tells us, " I went over to the hammock to talk to them, I wanted to tell them again how sad and sorry I am. I need them to feel some sympathy for me, I am really hurt about how I screwed them over. I need them to feel my pain, and understand just how very hurt and sorry I am"
Roddy- Hey guys have I said yet that I feel really bad and am sorry?
Amy- Oh yes , but I think it is all just a ploy to get some of my magical anti-depressant cheese away from me.
Marcellas- Hey Roddy, we can't make this feel better for you, and now you need to just get away from us.
Amy begins to cackle madly, and I am afraid the Happy Cheese has gone to her head.
Marcellas- This isn't fine to me Roddy, so I can't tell you it is fine.
Amy cackles more as she loses whatever was left of her mind, and I am now afraid of cheese.
Roddy returns to the house, but he is no longer Sad Roddy, now he is Mad Roddy. He is pissed, they dissed the King and heads are gonna roll. " I just wanted to say how sorry I was, but they refused to accept it. They are sneaky back stabbers!!" I must have missed something, tell me again, how did they plot against you Roddy?
Marcellas is scared, he is TOAST. He goes to plead his case to King Roddy. Roddy stakes his life on a unanimous vote for Amy. Oh that's always good, what, he doesn't have a Mother to swear on the life of?
Roddy tells Marcellas that he can't trust Amy, she eats all the cheese and therefore cannot be trusted. Marcellas cries, Amy is not the one being evil, and the magic cheese is protecting her from the evil in the house. OMG! Roddy is BALD! Oh yes he is!! The skycam is clearly showing that "from above" is not his best side. Marcellas wants to know what happens if he wins veto and saves Amy. Roddy very sincerely tells Marc that they'll vote him out instead, but assures Marcellas he is safe.
Marcellas in Diary Room- Roddy is so smart, and so cute, and knows what buttons to push ( ok, the Chiara joke is right here staring me in the face, but I am gonna take the high road and let it pass)
Roddy to Marcellas while staring intently into his eyes- I care for you very deeply, do you believe that I do? Say Yes, Say Yes. Say you believe me. My heart breaks to use you this way, it hurts me to be doing this to you.
OK, thats enough of that, because Roddy is just scaring me now. Geeeze he sounds like he is trying to... well nevermind.
Lunchtime!!!! Subway!! Ohhhhhhh yummy yummy. They all chow down. Amy tells us her sandwich has lots of cheese on it ( Ummm Duh) God this show is so elightening. They all pig out, sponsers are happy, I am hungry.
The Curse of the Map Room Bed by Carolyn Keene
The Bed in the Map room is CURSED!!! Ooooo. It is the most Luxury bed in the house, but it is cursed!
Kiki- I know you all are fearful of THE BED. Ooooo.
Marcellas - the bed is bad news. Lori slept there, and shes' gone, Tonya slept there, and she's gone. Kiki sleeps there. That side of the bed is the site of death! Oooooo. ( ummm no one dies on this show, they get evicted, if you wanted exacutions you should watch the Mole. Or go to Texas) Marcellas says, "I am sleeping in the bed, I am going to be gone too." ( cue dramatic music)
Lisa to Kiki- it is either the bed or it is YOU!
I think it is the bed because Roddy has slept with her plenty, and he is still there.
Kiki- it's not me I swear!
Marcellas- the Bed is jinxed! ( umm Marcellas not to ask an obvious question but, so why are you sleeping there? I think he should have been nicer to Roddy that HOH room is the Bomb!)
Danielle- You a FOOL! I ain't sleeping in no cursed bed. No way! I got a cot.
Maybe they should use the Bible and have an exorcism of THAT GIRL! ( hey isn't Marlo Thomas married to Phil Donahue? Coincidence? I think NOT!)
Now we get to the fun portion of tonights program. I mean besides the Subway thing, because that was riveting television. We fianlly get to answer the burning question. Is Chiara a whore? Yes, we finally find out the truth as we are shown shots of Chihora adjusting her swimsuit, looking in the mirror, walking around in a bikini, close up of her breasts.
Amy- Chihora has referred to herself as a Whore on several occasions
Chiara- I am a Whore
There she said it! Direct quote,we all heard her. She is officially a whore, and in case we had any lingering doubts, CBS decides to show us lots of whorish behavior. Kiki tells sex stories, lots and lots of stories, about lots and lots of sex, filled with lots and lots of details. It is like a bad "Dear Penthouse" letter.
Chihora- I then covered my entire body in sticky honey and he licked it off every inch of me
Amy- Horrifying! The things she says are horrifying
Chihora- I had sex with my friends boyfriend, and she had sex with mine, and then we all switched and had some more sex
Amy- she gives all the horrible details
Chihora- I love being naked. I love streaking I did it 6 times and never even had an orgasm
Amy- every detail, it is horrible, she has no self respect
Then we see Chihora talking to Danielle and Lisa, she is wearing her tiny bikini , and she is complaining about how she is being viewed by Amy. She says, " Give me a break! Whores aren't this obvious!" Ummmmm ahhhhh ok Kiki , if you say so. I think what she really meant to say, was you have to go Pro to make the big bucks.
Now we get scenes of Lisa giiving Chiara a massage. They moan seductivly for the cameras and put on a show for the guys.
Josh- It doesn't bother me
Roddy- I don't mind at all, it is entertaining
CBS executives - don't stop don't stop
Lisa- She is a free spirit
Danielle- She is having fun
CBS executives- she is very talented
Chihora with her legs wide open- I am wearing panties today! SEE!
Then while talking to the girls she is rubbing her nipples!! (I swear to GOD!! Ok, only the one nipple, on the left side) "People are so small minded, I can't believe they think I am slutty, I am just free-spirited. Oh look at my nipple! I made it happy!"
Amy is sad- I don't wanna go I don't wanna go. Cheese! Take me away to my happy place.
Josh to Eric- do we want to win Power of Veto?
Eric- Win it, just win it
Is there a secret alliance in the BB House?? Yes. Danielle has a strategy, pick one person only and stay bound to that one person til the end. She gave Jason her word, her bond. And it is a secret because, well, because if everyone knew it wouldn't be a secret alliance. They are aligned because of their faith. Silly me, I thought it was to win the money.
So the God Squad alliance pretends to play cards, but they are really , "playing the game" . Always plotting while playing cards. Oh wait, I get it, the cards are a prop! Wow, they are really sneaky.
Jason- Roddy is very smart. I am glad to see his weakness. Chihora pulls him out of the game and into boyfriend mode .
Danielle- Jason is Stealth Boy. Everyone underestimates him. No one suspects a thing, but he is playing this game.
Roddy- I trust Jason more then any other person on Earth. There is No Chance Jason is playing this Game.
Wow, I think I like those two.
Chiara needs some motherly advice. She seeks out Danielle for some girl talk. She needs to confess her feelings for Roddy. She tells Danielee it has been five years since she has felt anything about anyone. She sleeps with guys she has no feelings for? What about the guy that licked the honey off her body? Oh no, no way this girl is slutty.
She and Danielle discuss how perfect Roddy is ( yes we know already) Blah blah Blah.
Chiara- It isn't a crush I tell you that, I am falling for him
Lisa- I am very surprised to find out Chiara has feelings for Roddy, I thought she was just using him.
Kiki then proceeds to name their children and decorate the little picket fenced cottage he is going to buy her. It is all very sweet, and not at all whore like in anyway. * Barf*
Time For America's Choice
Who does America want to see win a fabulous dinner date?? Well, we all know everyone voted for Marcellas so we could see him take Roddy on a romantic date. ( America is evil like that) Marcellas wins , he takes Amy, we got ripped off!
Marcellas - I thought America would hate me!! But they Love me they really love me. ( umm not so fast Marcellas, we just wanted to see a straight man and a Gay man on a date)
Dinner looks lovely. The food looks great. They have a good time Gossiping and talking about the game. Well, Amy did anyway. Marcellas is tried of the Game, he is tired of listening to her, he is tired of the cheese thing. He is just Damn tired of Amy!!
Amy- I think I should only Date gay men from now on. They really know how to please a girl. ( what?)
Marcellas- Amy is one-sided
Yep, and that one side has cheese all over it!
( Geeeze is this thing still on?? Does it never end? By the time I finish this I am gonna end up in the Hospital! Oh yea, right, I am. Nevermind)
The Houseguests are plotting again, making deals and breaking deals, counting votes and, well you all know, same crap they do everyday.
The girls are sticking together ( except Amy who is cheese Toast) Lisa tells us the guys don't see it coming, and will be shocked. The guys know! I am am not at all shocked about that. Then we have Eric going on about how much trouble the girls cause, how emotional they are. Blah blah whatever!
Veto competition!!
Amy says if she wins it, she will save Marcellas. She hopes Josh will win and save her. Oh Sure, and the moon is made of Cheese, Honey.
The Game is Pool Sharks. Balls with pictures of the houseguests. You play pool with a croquet mallet, name your target, and knock them into the pool. The only funny thing about this, is watching everyone try to lose. Except Eric, who wins!! WooHoo!! ( or is you perfer wippipp)
Eric and Roddy gossiping about Josh again. Josh is weird, Josh is playing the game. They hate him he is so gone, won't worry about axing him. Frankly one of the best things about this episode is that Josh is hardly in it.
Roddy and Amy have a heart to heart. They are smoking cigars by the hot tub. Amy wants to explain herself to him. She sounds totally drunk!
Amy- I wanted to talk to you and tell you I am not a bad horrible person. I am not selfish. I was a premature Baby, and everyone thought I was the most wonderful precious baby in all the land. It wasn't my fault they told me I was perfect and superior to all the other children. I was oblivious to the fact that I had no friends and was the ugilest child.
Roddy- The Ugly duckling?
Amy- I was ugly and no one likes me and you hurt my feelings
Roddy- Oh Amy I was willing to be your friend and back you up. I am heartbroken over how you hurt my feelings. ( what? his feelings?) But at least you have learned your lesson Amy (Huh?)
Amy- Oh Roddy I did learn my lesson and I am so sorry ( wow, he is good)
Hugs all around, they are friends again. Awwww it is so sweet. I for one is so glad, Amy apolagized for hurting Roddy when she MADE him nominate her.
Oh the suspense!! What will Eric do with the Veto Power?? He tells everyone that he has the power, and believe it or not ( NOT) he has thought long and hard about this very important decision. Should he veto his friend Amy? Or his friend Marcellas. First he gives them each an oppurtunity to plead their case. Amy flings herself at his feet and sobs "Save me Save me!! I am not selfish!!" Marcellas choses to remain quiet. Eric choses to not use the Power of Veto ( geeeze he acts like he really won it, instead of everyone else losing the game on purpose)
Marcellas- If Amy had played the game, maybe I wouldn't be where I am now. I love Amy. I am toast!
Amy and Marcellas in the Diary Room- Dead couple walkin'!!
Who will be evicted from the Big Brother House Next. Tune in and see!!!
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|=Unrepentant Hardcore Smiley Thief
Eleanor Roosevelt: No one can make YOU feel inferior without YOUR consent!
