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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
attention-seekers pretending to be one big happy PG/PG13-rated family. Don't
be fooled. Trying to get everyone to agree with you is like herding cats,
but intolerance for other viewpoints is NOT welcome and respect for other
posters IS required at all times. Jump in and play, and you'll soon find out
how easy it is to fit in, but save your drama for your mama. All members are
encouraged to read the
complete guidelines.
As entertainment critic Roger
Ebert once said, "If you disagree with something I write, tell me so, argue
with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."
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"Dear President of Sweaters and Manners, "
Wheezy 9153 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-01-05, 06:58 PM (EST)
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"Dear President of Sweaters and Manners, " |
It is time for some more answers, if it be your will. People, now is the time to get these sweater and manner questions off your proverbial chests.My questions: Dear Sir, 1. Do you think a black bunny pelt would make a nice sweater? 2. What should I do about all the people who are mocking my new dress? 3. If Landru wears a sweater in a swimming pool that is 60 degrees F, will that keep him warmer than just wearing swimming trunks alone in the pool? What kind of shrinkage should we be concerned about, or will it bounce back when it dries?
 Wheeze
Wheeze * Everything In Between
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Dizwiz 2699 desperate attention whore postings
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03-01-05, 07:06 PM (EST)
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1. "RE: Dear President of Sweaters and Manners, " |
I have no questions, or answers...just dropped in to tell you that I like the new look, Wheeze! I'll always be partial to the s&m hamster, though.
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kathliam 3669 desperate attention whore postings
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03-01-05, 07:37 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: Dear President of Sweaters and Manners, " |
I dunno, I kinda liked that pink thong.
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ARnutz 13937 desperate attention whore postings
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03-01-05, 07:12 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: Dear President of Sweaters and Manners, " |
I have a question:Is it proper to make fun of Phil Keogan's manboobs when he is wearing a sweater on TAR?   
... because everyone is doing it!
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TechNoir 9741 desperate attention whore postings
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03-01-05, 07:30 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: Dear President of Sweaters and Manners, " |
It is proper to make fun of his manboobs under all circumstances. But remember, when he is foolish enough to wear a sweater the poor sweater is embarassed. Be kind to it.  
"Fear is just another word for ignorance." Hunter S. Thompson
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MTW1961 4029 desperate attention whore postings
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03-01-05, 07:19 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: Dear President of Sweaters and Manners, " |
Oh, you're talking about sweaters that you wear. I popped in because I'm president of people who sweat.
I have polled my people and we think the brown dress makes you look like you're administering CPR to a giant acorn!
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TechNoir 9741 desperate attention whore postings
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03-01-05, 07:33 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: Dear President of Sweaters and Manners, " |
The dress isn't brown. It is 'golden toast' and looks just lovely. I think some simple yellow diamond earrings would set it off nicely, don't you?
"Fear is just another word for ignorance." Hunter S. Thompson
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TechNoir 9741 desperate attention whore postings
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03-01-05, 07:29 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: Dear President of Sweaters and Manners, " |
Dear Ms. Wheeze,1. It would make a nice, albeit skimpy, sweater. I suspect the wearer would have some difficulty regulating his or her body temperature if that is all that is worn above the waist. 2. Why you thank them, of course. Using your sweetest, most polite words. And then you secretly put their names on Your List. You know the one. Oh, and don't tell them what you are wearing under it. (It could use some bling, though.) 3. Landru does not wear sweaters. He does, however, sometimes wear deck shoes.
"Fear is just another word for ignorance." Hunter S. Thompson
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true 9689 desperate attention whore postings
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03-01-05, 07:35 PM (EST)
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8. "Deck Shoes question" |
Dear Dr. President, Does Landru wear socks with his deck shoes, and if so, is that proper attire? If not, how does he keep his feet from stinking? Love and Kisses, true
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TechNoir 9741 desperate attention whore postings
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03-01-05, 07:38 PM (EST)
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10. "RE: Deck Shoes question" |
One does not wear socks with deck shoes. They are intended to be worn sockless. Landru, of course, wears them fashionably.The rest? Much too personal. You'll have to ask him.
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true 9689 desperate attention whore postings
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03-01-05, 07:40 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: Deck Shoes question" |
So, it's inappropriate for one to enquire about the odors of ones tootsies. (I learn fast, huh? And no, I did NOT just call you toots.) 
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landruajm 6040 desperate attention whore postings
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03-01-05, 07:49 PM (EST)
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13. "RE: Deck Shoes question" |
Nothing about me is odiferous, but you are welcome to get close enough to find out for yourself.
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landruajm 6040 desperate attention whore postings
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03-02-05, 09:35 AM (EST)
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41. "RE: Deck Shoes question" |
The brimstone thing is way overplayed.
Librul media, y'know.
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TechNoir 9741 desperate attention whore postings
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03-01-05, 07:53 PM (EST)
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14. "RE: Dr Manners:" |
LAST EDITED ON 03-01-05 AT 07:54 PM (EST)Buy a large, oogie "Thank you card." Inside write a note about what you did and how apologetic you are. And include the note that you didn't send. That much abject apologizing will give you an automatic 'bye' -- you will not look like an ungrateful cad. It is best to look like a forgetful idiot. Folks just smile nicely and shake their heads a bit. If you still feel like an ass, you can do penance by telling your kids about the Bad Thing you did, turning it into an object lesson. Oh, don't forget to gush in the card.
"Fear is just another word for ignorance." Hunter S. Thompson Edited to spell ass without any #s.
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Wheezy 9153 desperate attention whore postings
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03-01-05, 08:34 PM (EST)
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15. "RE: Dr Manners:" |
Dear Doctor,You are brilliant. Do I owe you a thank you such as this, perchance? ever your loving, Wheeze Wheeze
Wheeze * Everything In Between
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TechNoir 9741 desperate attention whore postings
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03-01-05, 08:38 PM (EST)
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16. "RE: Dr Manners:" |
Dear Wheeze,Why no, you owe me nothing. But. Why did you stop bouncing? You are holding your hamster boobs with your hamster paws, so the bouncing shouldn't be a physical problem. Is there something else we should know?
Are you ... um ... expecting?
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Wheezy 9153 desperate attention whore postings
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03-01-05, 08:42 PM (EST)
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17. "RE: Dr Manners:" |
I am feeling a bit queasy, now that you mention it. Wheeze
and yes, I AM expecting! Yet, nothing ever comes. It's like waiting for Godot over here. Wheeze * Everything In Between
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Wheezy 9153 desperate attention whore postings
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03-01-05, 10:50 PM (EST)
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19. "RE: whoa!!!!" |
"Hmmm," she said, coyly. Wheeze
hell no.  Wheeze * Everything In Between
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TechNoir 9741 desperate attention whore postings
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03-02-05, 07:13 AM (EST)
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25. "RE: Darn!" |
"A" hamster, not likely. Some large number -- up to 20 I am told -- perhaps.
Mother hamsters sometimes eat their young. Perhaps they have a recipe book we don't know about.
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diamond 2307 desperate attention whore postings
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03-01-05, 11:25 PM (EST)
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22. "RE: Dear President of Sweaters and Manners, " |
LAST EDITED ON 03-01-05 AT 11:29 PM (EST)Dear President of Sweaters: How can I get rid of those little pills that grow all over my sweaters? Do those shaver things actually work? Respectfully submitted, diamond 
P.S. I have probably asked this before, but my memory doesn't work so good. If this is a reapeat inquiry, please accept my humble apologies.
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TechNoir 9741 desperate attention whore postings
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03-02-05, 07:16 AM (EST)
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26. "RE: Dear President of Sweaters and Manners, " |
Dear Miss Diamond,I am concerned about the quality of your sweaters. I have heard of sweater 'pills' but, of course, have never actually experienced them myself. Are you purchasing *cringe* man-made materials? Handling your sweaters roughly? Otherwise maltreating your sweaters? Perhaps you should consider a nice cotton blouse. PSM
"Fear is just another word for ignorance." Hunter S. Thompson
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diamond 2307 desperate attention whore postings
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03-02-05, 07:57 AM (EST)
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29. "RE: Dear President of Sweaters and Manners, " |
Dear PSM:Oh, heavens, no! Only wool here, and the occasional cashmere, when it's on sale. I think I just wear them a lot. (Unfortunately, I suspect I am part reptillian, because without my sweathers, I would freeze to death every day.)
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anotherkim 14420 desperate attention whore postings
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03-01-05, 11:30 PM (EST)
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23. "RE: Dear President of Sweaters and Manners, " |
Dear President of Sweaters,Is there a Secretary of Shoes? I have some newish leather mules that I like to wear without socks, but now they make my feet stink. How do you make leather shoes not smell like stinky feet? I paid more money than Mr. Kim needs to know for these shoes and I have to wear them a whole lot more. I can't go around with stinky shoes. Thank you, Kimmah
P.S.
I wash my feet. Really, I do.  Miscellaneous Ramblings
--I was going to say that I had a friend who had smelly leather shoes, but I was afraid you'd just think that Wheezy had smelly feet and she has so many other strikes against her.....
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TechNoir 9741 desperate attention whore postings
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03-02-05, 07:18 AM (EST)
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27. "RE: Dear President of Sweaters and Manners, " |
Dear Ms. Kimmah,I really have no knowledge of foot matters beyond the material and care of socks. However Ms. True has made her concern about feet and their odor public knowledge. Per haps you two might get together and jointly seek 'foot' information. Just a hint -- I have occasionally noticed a squirrel sporting what appear to be duck feet. Perhaps the owner of such a thing has specialized foot knowledge. PSM
"Fear is just another word for ignorance." Hunter S. Thompson
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Drive My Car 20045 desperate attention whore postings
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03-02-05, 07:22 AM (EST)
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28. "RE: Dear President of Sweaters and Manners, " |
Dear President of Sweaters and Manners,I have missed many important postings by my cyber frinds.
Is there some way to catch up in the half hour I have in the morning?
What if I missed posting on something important, will peeps think I dissed them?
I got this in a forune cookie last night - The World in an oyster, and you are it's pearl.
What does it mean?
Sincerly,
Buggy 
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landruajm 6040 desperate attention whore postings
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03-02-05, 08:10 AM (EST)
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30. "RE: Dear President of Sweaters and Manners, " |
It means that the author of your fortune cookie didn't go to the CocoNanny School of Random Apostrophes, because they'd have told her that stray apostrophes are not asseptibull.
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Drive My Car 20045 desperate attention whore postings
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03-02-05, 08:58 AM (EST)
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31. "RE: Dear President of Sweaters and Manners, " |
Oops, that was me. I hadn't woken up yet.
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landruajm 6040 desperate attention whore postings
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03-02-05, 09:04 AM (EST)
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33. "RE: Dear President of Sweaters and Manners, " |
I much prefer to blame the fortune cookie writer. I mean, like so many of those slips of paper inside our fortune cookies, it also wasn't really a fortune. Bastiges. I want real fortunes, like "You're gonna die" and "If'n you don't stop shagging the babysitter, your wife is gonna take everything you have."
Buggy is my Queen.
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Coconut 10856 desperate attention whore postings
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03-02-05, 09:31 AM (EST)
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40. "Ahem." |
If you lay a cloven 'finger' on the babysitter one more time, you're going to the naughty mat.
I could see myself working that tight suit/ample cleavage/severe tone of voice. Hmm...
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landruajm 6040 desperate attention whore postings
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03-02-05, 09:37 AM (EST)
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42. "RE: Ahem." |
I think you're a little mixed up here.
Yes, you're quite extremely mixed up. Draco's with the nanny fixation. I'm the one who tried to bigamize your university chum. Can it be all that hard to sort?
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geg6 14941 desperate attention whore postings
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03-02-05, 09:04 AM (EST)
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32. "RE: Dear President of Sweaters and Manners, " |
Dear President of Sweaters,I'd like some advice about a friend who insists that he has no objectionable odors. However, every time he is around, there is a distinct odor of brimstone. How do I let him know that he might need an olfactory check up? 
I'm such a slut for the blues.
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landruajm 6040 desperate attention whore postings
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03-02-05, 09:07 AM (EST)
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34. "RE: Dear President of Sweaters and Manners, " |
Jebus H Tapdancing Christ on a Wobbly Freakin' Crutch, could you please just take it on faith that I spend every moment of every one of my days noticing you?
I mean, is that so hard to believe?
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landruajm 6040 desperate attention whore postings
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03-02-05, 09:13 AM (EST)
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36. "RE: Dear President of Sweaters and Manners, " |
You're the shyest whip-bearing, leather-clad submissive dominatrix I know, Geg.
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landruajm 6040 desperate attention whore postings
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03-02-05, 09:41 AM (EST)
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43. "RE: Dear President of Sweaters and Manners, " |
I didn't know that, lost as it was in all that brimstone talk. Figs, hmm? I'm not sure I'd know that smell if I smelt it.
Gah. We're that bad?Okay, I just looked. We're worse. Way worse. Ain't no slugging about this, y'all are in, we're barely bubblicious.
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Roo 705 desperate attention whore postings
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03-02-05, 09:43 AM (EST)
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44. "RE: Dear President of Sweaters and Manners, " |
>1. Do you think a black bunny pelt would make a nice sweater? SilverStar, is your bunny missing???
Handcrafted by RollDdice
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Gothmog 2886 desperate attention whore postings
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03-02-05, 08:01 PM (EST)
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46. "RE: Dear President of Sweaters and Manners, " |
Dear President,Please tell me how I can better get in touch with my inner Wimp. 
It's time I stopped living a lie.
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TechNoir 9741 desperate attention whore postings
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03-02-05, 08:08 PM (EST)
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47. "RE: Dear President of Sweaters and Manners, " |
Dear Gotmom (or Gotmom?)Does this fall under "Sweaters" or "Manners?" Your answer is crucial to a successful recovery.
Yes, yes it is.
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landruajm 6040 desperate attention whore postings
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03-02-05, 09:42 PM (EST)
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49. "RE: Dear President of Sweaters and Manners, " |
1. Not unless you're moving to West Hollywood.
2. Not unless you're moving to West Hollywood.
3. Not unless you're moving to West Hollywood.For future reference, when TechNoir dresses you up in pink panties, parades you about the showroom floor, and suggests that you contact your homies? That would be a real good time to hunker down and wait for reinforcements. We'll get there, we'll bring the big artillery, we'll get you through it, man. Now adjust yourself publicly and get back in the game, big fella. We shall speak no more of this.
No. It's Manners. And complete submission? Truly does not become you. I suggest you go nurture your cult of dominance; I know for fact that you suffer from no shortage of hot OT babeage crushing on you around here. Now get out there and exploit your masculinity, and remember your mantra ("I looooove p00ntang!").
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Wheezy 9153 desperate attention whore postings
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03-02-05, 10:59 PM (EST)
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50. "RE: Dear President of Sweaters and Manners, " |
Dear Mz Prs,Our family was invited to dine at the home of some friends this evening, along with another couple and their children. The following things happened: 1. I brought a nice bottle of Merlot as a gift to the hostess, and she put it in the refrigerator (ouch!) Should I have said something? 2. There were many little children present. When I went outside to check on them, two of the younger ones (boy age 5, girl age 4) were jumping on the trampoline with their pants and underthings down around their ankles. What is the proper thing to do/say in this situation? Thank you in advance for your thoughtful answers. Wheezy Wheeze
Wheeze * Everything In Between
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TechNoir 9741 desperate attention whore postings
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03-02-05, 11:11 PM (EST)
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52. "RE: Dear President of Sweaters and Manners, " |
Dear Mz Wheeze,1. How thoughtful you were. But ... do you normally tell people what to do with the gifts you present? Do you explain how to wear a tie? To be sure to read a book beginning with page 1? And the like? Of course not. Perhaps someone in the household has a throat condition that is only relieved by chilled Merlot. You might remember this the next time you take a gift to these folks, however. Flowers are always suitable. 2. How odd that you would notice the attire of the children. But, since you did, Mz. Prz probably would have walked purposefully toward the parents and asked loudly what they were using on the children's genital rashes. In a most concerned tone, of course. Alternatively, had you fortunately found a Sharpie in your purse, you could have initialled their little behinds. I know you are living in a new area. Perhaps this attire is culturally appropriate. Is this how you were dressed when you had your trampoline incident? PSM
"Fear is just another word for ignorance." Hunter S. Thompson
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Spidey 6259 desperate attention whore postings
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03-02-05, 11:10 PM (EST)
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51. "RE: Dear President of Sweaters and Manners, " |
WIth obnoxiously gushing card sent to dissed Aunt & Uncle, I have yet another dilemma.When Spideyboy's art teacher call my work today to complain about my 8 year old son's disruptive behavior in her class every Friday afternoon, last period and wondered what she should do about it, and in particular the incident where son's friend pull son's other friend's hair which is somehow son's fault, would it have been wrong to tell her to bite me and do her job and if he didn't behave then do her job some more and send him to the principal? Cuz I wanted to. But I didn't. I suggested she sit son at a different art table. She thought that was a good idea. Don't they teach this stuff in education classes?   
Personally, I think I showed remarkable restraint.
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TechNoir 9741 desperate attention whore postings
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03-02-05, 11:15 PM (EST)
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53. "RE: Dear President of Sweaters and Manners, " |
How odd. A trained educational professional phoning an amateur for advice on how to perform her job.I think you might have explained that she could make an appointment at your usual rates and you would be glad to try to help her solve her problem. You might also have suggested that she may have more success contacting someone who was trained in this field, however. And, while you might have suggested that she bite you, she really should make an appointment first.
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TechNoir 9741 desperate attention whore postings
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03-03-05, 02:07 PM (EST)
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56. "RE: Dear President of Sweaters and Manners, " |
Thank you so much Miss Spidey.
"Fear is just another word for ignorance." Hunter S. Thompson
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p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
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