Dream Job Episode 6 Summary-Where's Greg Anthony and why do we care?

It’s been a busy week in the sports world what with the baseball playoffs and the NFL season and NBA preseason games. If you still aren’t getting enough sports programming (perhaps due to lack of hockey), never fear, Dream Job is here for you, if you are tricky enough to figure out when it is on.

Last week there were lots of issues when the Teleprompters cut out. Brian got cut and we got to see him cry. (Dude. This isn’t the Bachelor.)The six who are still left feel like they are all in this together. All this emotion is a little much for ESPN, so I guess that’s why they moved it to late night. Our fearless leader Stuart Scott reminds us that the competition is for a one year contract as a Sportscenter anchor and Mazda 6. Woohoo!! They get to be the next Mike Hall and read meaningless scores on ESPN News or on late night SportsCenters. Sadly, there are no more token females, so no one can take home the job and the girl.

So our main challenge today is to write an NBA preview with a live lead-n and a 45 second taped preview. The guys think they are going to interview Greg Anthony next, but the wily people of Dream Job instead cancel the interview and make the guys improvise a “breaking” (read: yesterday’s) highlight that they have never seen before, with a producer telling them which clips they are getting in their earpiece. (So if we assume that these guys are general sports fans, wouldn’t they have likely watched yesterday’s games or seen a Sportscenter episode about them? I mean, I know what they are showing as soon as they start the highlight, so shouldn’t these guys?)

First David previews the Nuggets. David’s intro is lame. He didn’t say much about Carmelo Anthony, who is pretty much the only thing worth talking about on the Nuggets. No one cares about the power forward combination of Kenyon Martin and Marcus Camby. But then again, no one cares about the NBA either. David’s improve piece was about the Yankees/Red Sox game 5 (not game 6 which had ended 10 minutes before). The Red Sox still beat the Yankees, therefore this piece was perfect. Go Sox!

Judges:
Woody Page was annoyed that David didn’t tell us that we wouldn’t be hearing from Greg Anthony. He thought that David was cliché, and that he didn’t improvise well and only repeated what the producer told him.

Kit commented that David’s flat voiceover was well written and mentioned that he had a nice facial expression when told to improvise. Thank you Kit, for that helpful criticism.

Stephen A. Smith was annoyed that David didn’t mention Greg Anthony, and wanted David to tell us about Marcus Camby’s contract, the Nuggets lame duck coach, and other power forwards in the Western Conference. Stephen A. obviously thinks we care about the NBA.

Al Jaffe thought David’s writing was cliché, was annoyed that we didn’t mention Greg Anthony, but did a good job on the highlight other than saying Johnny Damon hadn’t been on base much this season as opposed to this series.

Next up is Anish, who gets to preview the Lakers. The ubiquitous Dream Job conspiracy theorists will discuss this one for days-since when was giving the contestant who is the favorite the Lakers to preview. Even my grandmother could do a good preview of the Lakers this season.

There is one HUGE problem with Anish before he even starts. He is wearing the ugliest outfit I have ever seen. He must think he is on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Anish is wearing a bright red shirt with a bright purple tie. It hurts my eyes just to look at him.

Anish goes with a Hollywood theme to his Lakers preview, and it was pretty good information wise. He then tells us that we will hear from Greg Anthony later, and moves into his improvisation game, the Vikings versus the Saints. He stutters a little and seems freaked out, but he adds a lot of facts off the top of his head.

And the judges say…

Kit liked it For some reason, she didn’t mention his god-awful outfit, even though she mocked David’s facial expressions. More fodder for the conspiracy theorists.

Stephen A. liked it

Al:”You had me at ‘Welcome to SportsCenter’”

Woody thought that Anish’s opinion of Kobe Bryant was wrong, that Anish’s writing was good and that he was cool under pressure. For some reason, he mention that Anish’s Hollywood theme was cliché, even though he thought David’s Rocky Mountain High comment was cliché. Hello favoritism.

Next contestant is Jason Ashworth, who gets to preview the Cleveland Cavaliers. His theme is that the Cavs need to make the playoffs, and tells us lots of random stuff about Lebron and Boozer. Jason A. then gets to improvise the Cardinals/Astros Game 5. He never mentions Greg Anthony, but is very energetic going through the highlight. He tells us that the series is 3-2 about 50 times, but he never tells us the final score of the game.

Judges:
Stephen A. didn’t like his constant mention of the series being 3-2, and was annoyed that Jason didn’t talk about the Cavs three-point shooting or their draft performance. Whatever Stephen A., no one else talked about the draft either, and no one cares about the NBA.
The other judges didn’t like Jason A. either.

Next we get a “Free-for-all” segment, where the guys are put into groups of 3 and asked to debate a question. The contestants can answer at anytime and basically just argue (like on PTI, for the rest of the compulsive ESPN watchers out there.) There is a time-limit for the group as a whole. Basically this segment sucked in that they were all just randomly arguing.

First group is Anish, Jason A., and Webster Winston. This was perhaps the funniest part of the show, because Anish and Jason A. just argued over Webster’s head.

Topic #1: The Cardinals will sweep at home and win the NLCS.
Iggy-True!!! (Oh wait, I guess I can’t answer from the future.)
Anish-No, because of Clemens.
Jason A. No, the Astros bats are hot and they have a good closer.
They argue over Winston’s head while he tries to say something about how it is obviously the Astros’ year.

Topic#2: Jerry Rice will have an immediate (positive) impact on the Seahawks
Anish:No, Jerry Rice is past his prime
Jason A. Yes, he’s the most prolific wide receiver in the game
Winston: No, Jerry Rice is old, it will take him a long time to get into the Seahawks’ offense, and he is past his prime.

Topic #3:Oklahoma should be ranked ahead of Miami in the BCS
Jason A.: Yes, Oklahoma has 2 Heisman candidates, and a big win over Texas, Miami barely beat Louisville.
Winston: No one cares about the BCS particularly in the first week; the title gets decided on the field.

Topic #4: Dante Culpepper will break Dan Marino’s record
Jason A. gives some stats and says he is on pace but it will come down to whether Randy Moss is healthy
Anish: Culpepper will get the chance because the defense is so bad it will give the offense lots of time to be on the field, and Culpepper has to throw because his running backs are so bad.
Winston:brak brak brak. Then he gets mad when Stu cuts him off (for the third time), but Stu is like, um, don’t go last.

Group #2: Jason H., Dave, and Grant.

Topic #1: The Patriots’ streak is overrated.
Iggy: No way! Go Pats!
Grant: No, because of parity in the league and player turnover
Jason H.: No, because they beat good teams.
Dave:Yes, because the wins are not in the same season.
Grant: Who cares, they still won the games?
Jason H:Yeah, and they won a SuperBowl in between.

Topic #2:UNC is ### #### #### ## ####### ##########(I’m sorry, my computer has censored this topic, since it cannot handle having that team and a positive comment in the same sentence. Assume the topic was that they are good. And that Stuart Scott is a cheater for including this topic.)
Iggy: Vomit
Dave: Yes, they have the best starting lineup
Grant: No, McCants is a cancer to the team, Oklahoma State is the best team
Jason H: You may think I’m a homer on this one (What is a homer? You as in Simpson? Or do you mean someone like Stuart Scott, who needlessly glorifies his alma mater, which sucks? Either way, I was sick of calling you Jason H., so your new name is Homer), but Syracuse is the best team in the country. Hakim Warrick is great.
Dave:Williams will be the freshman of the year in the ACC
Stu gives Dave props for saying Yes.

Topic #3 The Miami Heat will Beat the Lakers on Christmas Day
Grant: Merry Christmas to Shaq. Shaq is in shape and motivated
Homer: The Lakers are going to fall apart
Dave: No one can guard Shaq

Topic #4: Ricky Williams should be allowed to play this year
Dave:No, he abused the team and the league, why is he above the rules?
Homer: He should go to jail and not be allowed to play
Grant: Teams will take him since he can put up the numbers
Homer: Why would anyone want him back?

Judges:
Al: Everyone did pretty well, particularly Anish, Homer, and Grant, Grant was best, Winston was worst.

Woody: Grant did a good job talking about basketball. Winston missed info on Jerry Rice and Oklahoma.

Kit:You are all great, that is why you are here. No worst, Grant is best; he sold it and was entertaining,

Stephen A.: Homer lost it with Syracuse. Grant was the best because his arguments are good. Winston was the worst because his arguments about it obviously being the Astros’s year and no one caring about the BCS were bad.

Fresh from his free-for-all poor performance, Webster is now up for his NBA preview, where he will talk about the Miami Heat. He introduces himself as Win-diddy, and tells us that it is the extreme makeover edition of SportsCenter. And then he starts doing math. His theme and intro are all about numbers, and I don’t get it at all. Webster spends most of his time talking about Dwayne Wade, but says very little about Shaq. Webster’s night goes from bad to worse during his improvisation. He has a HUGE pause going into the segment-just stares at the camera with no lead in at all. The producer has to yell at him to start. When he finally starts telling us about the Seahawks/Patriots highlights, he stumbles a lot and waits to hear the producer tell him things. The producer then has to tell him to say goodnight. He mumbles something about Greg Anthony not being there and says goodnight. All in all, it was bad.

Woody comments that he didn’t understand Winston’s opening; that Winston stumbled with the teleprompter, used incorrect grammar, and that Winston was not seamless. Overall, he thought that Winston had good enthusiasm, but needed to bring facts next time. (even though it is clear that there won’t be a next time for Winston.)

Kit comments that Winston was sitting funny in his chair. Now how is that relevant, but Anish’s outfit isn’t? Then she says that Winston had long pauses but did a good job listening to the producer and following along.

Stephen A. noted that Winston called one player by the wrong name, and was not seamless.

Al said that Winston struggled and that there was a bid difference between Winston’s voice on the tape and in his intro, and said that he didn’t like Winston’s pauses or his use of “Win-diddy.”

Next up is Grant, who will preview the Orlando Magic. Grant’s theme is about the changing face of the Magic, and he gives good facts about everything. I liked the piece a lot and learned from it. It was almost like real SportsCenter. Grant doesn’t mention Greg Anthony as he transitions into the Bucs/Rams highlights. He does a good job improvising and throws in a lot of facts off the top of his head.

Woody harped on the lack of mention of Greg Anthony. He liked Grant’s opening and thought it was unique. He too was interested in Grant’s taped feature, but then he saw lapses in Grant’s highlight.

Kit thought that Grant had good writing (he writes like he talks) and an entertaining feature that told a story, but that his transition to highlights was bad and that his close was bad. Oh, and he didn’t mention Greg Anthony.

Stephen A. was disagreeable and said that Woody was wrong and Grant was bad. Grant was wrong about the Rams, and closed weakly, though he did a good job with his feature.

Al-diddy thought Grant was up and down and used unnecessary words. And he didn’t mention the Magic coach. His highlights were also good, but he didn’t mention Greg Anthony.
Homer is up next to preview the Rockets (#3) Homer has some issues with the teleprompter, but then gives us good info about the McGrady trade and the Rockets offense, and closes with something about Dikembe Mutumbo on defense. He gives stupid information during his transition to the Cowboys/Steelers highlights, but improvises well and gives great facts in his closing.

Kit thinks that Homer has good writing, good ad lib and was not entertaining. Oh, and he didn’t mention Greg Anthony.

Stephen A. said that Homer was not understandable when he improvised, and said things that we didn’t care about like Dikembe Mutumbo (hey Stephen A., he was talking about the NBA, therefore we already didn’t care). Overall, Stephen A. thought that Homer’s info was good but that he expected more from him. Also, no mention of Greg Anthony.

Al thought the same thing as Stephen A., and particularly liked Homer’s seamless transition to his feature and good improvisation. Oh, and did you know that Homer didn’t mention Greg Anthony?

Woody thought that Homer had a weak lead in and that he stammered, and used redundant clichés. But Woody liked Homer’s feature. He said it was okay, though, because this wasn’t Stephen A.’s best week either.

Now it is time for the four Americans who managed to figure out when Dream Job is on to cast their ever important one-fifth vote. America cuts Winston.

Woody says that it gets tougher every week (ummm, isn’t that the point), that Grant’s performance was stronger than Stu’s suit, that Homer was not as strong, but that dreams always must die slowest but that Winston shouldn’t let his dream die, everyone is impressed with his passion and sacrifice even if he isn’t as good as the other guys.

Stu now recaps the vote for everyone who can’t count to two. There are three roses left.

Kit says good job Anish, Winston struggled during his debate but he has great potential and he should keep pursuing his dreams.

Stephen A. wishes that he didn’t have to cut anyone, but he’ll get over it. David had bad writing. Stephen A. then makes some inane remark to Homer about how those who spoil inconsistently don’t take home the prom queen. What? Is that about Survivor Sucks or Mike Hall and Maggie Haskins? Anyway, then he says that Winston was not prepared as compared to the other guys and that he didn’t show up tonight.

Al said that the final 6 was strong overall, that Jason A. was over the top but has quietly and steadily improved and should keep it up and that David needs better writing. In the end, Al tells Winston that he appreciates his passion and enthusiasm but that he was clearly inferior in both segments.

Buh-bye Webster.

Gothmog is the greatest.