I have my Shot Sheet

I have the teleprompter

MY Dream Job 2 Summary begins in 3...2...1

Welcome to the second episode of Dream Job II, where we will widdle down 12 contestants to just one lucky person who will get to do the 2:00 am to 3:00 am and then again from 3:00am to 4:00am and again at 4:00am to 5:00 am Sports Center on ESPN 8 the OCHO and also get a part time job co hosting the Worlds Strongest Gerbils Competition with Mangus Samuelson

We start off this episode with a review of last weeks show. Basicaly one person knew what they were doing while the rest of them just barely got through it. Sort of like the first time most of us had consentual adult relations with the opposite sex.

Then we meet this weeks contestants:

Jason "kick your" Ashworth an MC for Hoop it Up

Jason " oh the" Horowitz A student.

Both Jasons are interchangable so there is no real reason to distinguish between the two

Stephanie "Ritchie" Rich: who I will call florencegriffonjackiejoynerkersey because she looks like both of them rolled into one.

Whitney"Mary Queen of" Scott: who could be related to host Stuart Scott

Winston" Saved by the" Bell who stands about 4 feet tall and who may have an advantage because ESPN can save money on wardrobe by shopping at the kids section.

and David "Sherlock" Holmes: who is the Wendy's Wild card contestant. So that means he is "unofficial" and can't really win the competition

And now we get the judges:

Woody Paige: Who looks nothing like the lovable toy voiced by Tom Hanks in Both Toy Story and Toy Story 2 or Paige from Trading Spaces.

Kit Hoover: Who looks nothing like a kit kat bar or the 31rst President of The United States of America Herbert Hoover

Stephen A. Smith: Who looks nothing like the member of The Austrailin House of Representitives (look it up if you don't beleive me)

and
Al Jaffe:who looks nothing like the cartoonist from Mad Magazine

This week the contestants get to do Top 5 themed highlights. Since they are not real Sports center anchors they don't get a top 10 highlights.

We start with Jason H or is it A? I am not sure.

Jason's theme is "Guys doing ridiculous things with their hands"
on a side note, all the guys featured in this highlight reel are now blind just like their moms said they would be

#5 a guy doing the thing where he cups his hands under his arm and makes the farting sound
#4 a guy doing the vulcan signal
#3 a guy cracking all his knuckles
#2 a guy doing "this is the church" "this is the steeple"
and #1 a guy doing the sliding his thumb away from his hand trick

Whitney is next. Just a quick impersonation of Whitney... BOBBY! BOBBY! GET MY BAG BOBBY! I I I I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU! BOBBY!. Her theme is Big Shots.

#5 The Big Shot Roller Coaster in Las Vegas
#4 Jello
#3 Sex on The Beach
#2 Shot heard round the world
#1 John Wilkes Booth

Next up is David. His theme is Blocks

#5 Dan "Block"er from Bonanza
#4 Lego's
#3 The wooden Kind with the letter "A" on it
#2 Madison Avenue
#1 the Long straight one from Tetris

we then get a break so we can play Fact or Fict Shun as Cajun man would say it.

we Get:
Jason H vs. David
Winston vs Whitney
Stephanie vs. Jason A

boring sports talk debating going on reminescint of sports talk in a bar, unfortunately this time even if the women on the show get drunk, you still have no chance of going home with them.

the judges think Jason"insert your favorite letter here" did the best job, and it was unanimous that Stephanie stunk up the place.
Damn I wish I could come with a good stink similie right now

Now back to the highlights:

Stephanie will now do the top Dives:

#5 Half Gainer
#4 The Big Bamboo ( a local bar that totaly rocks)
#3 Jacknife
#2 Cannon Ball
#1 Belly Flop

Jason A's turn: Top 5 saves
#5 Save the Last Dance
#4 Saved by the Bell ( 2 save by the Bell refrences in one summary, Excellent)
#3 Saved by Zero
#2 Save the Children ( Thank you Sally Struthers)
#1 Jesus Saves

and finally once they put the phone book on the chair so Winston can see over the desk, It is his turn. Big Hits Time.
#5 The Macarania
#4 Jailhouse Rock
#3 Yellow Submarine
#2 Like a Virgin
#1 Baby Got Back

When all was said and done it was a unanimouse decision to cut Stephanie. The coach wants to see you in the locker room and bring your playbook.

As Stuart Scott said: Hugs and Handpounds to you all

Come in a stranger,leave a little stranger