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""Be The Survivor" S36 Ep10: "Three Blind Crimes""
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RollDdice 5862 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-18, 00:54 AM (EST)
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""Be The Survivor" S36 Ep10: "Three Blind Crimes""

Once you go Naviti, you never retreat-ee. With Desiree at the bottom of the Naviti tribe, she offers her services to the Manolo faction. Having slipped her head in that noose, Laurel draws it tighter and measures the drop.

In other news, Donathan adds idol-finding to his resumѐ and CBS execs are thinking about building a comedy series around him. They're currently kicking around the name "Two and a Half Caretakers".



Mark "Jungle rash is real!" Burnett
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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 A Psychiatrist's view of Survivor michel2 04-29-18 1
   RE: A Psychiatrist's view of Surviv... Aruba 04-29-18 4
       RE: A Psychiatrist's view of Surviv... michel2 04-29-18 5
           RE: A Psychiatrist's view of Surviv... kingfish 04-30-18 6
               RE: A Psychiatrist's view of Surviv... michel2 04-30-18 8
 The City that has no shame… kingfish 04-29-18 2
   RE: The City that has no shame… michel2 04-29-18 3
       RE: The City that has no shame… kingfish 04-30-18 7
           RE: The City that has no shame… michel2 04-30-18 9
               RE: The City that has no shame… kingfish 04-30-18 10
                   RE: The City that has no shame… michel2 04-30-18 11
                       RE: The City that has no shame… kingfish 05-01-18 12
       RE: The City that has no shame… Aruba 05-02-18 13
           RE: The City that has no shame… michel2 05-02-18 14

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michel2 2786 desperate attention whore postings
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04-29-18, 05:22 PM (EST)
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1. "A Psychiatrist's view of Survivor"
As an eminent psychiatrist from the renowned University of Fiji, I had a chance to examine all these Desperate Attention Whores and I’ve prescribed the appropriate medication for each. This way, we will have a much more interesting show with a lot less erratic behavior.

Let me start with our illustrious Host; Jiffy Probe. Having had a chance to watch him over many years, it was immediately evident that the man suffers from excessive need for secrecy. Why else would you hide who were the captains of the reward challenge and who was chosen. Also, why hide Angela’s “No Vote” parchment. Of course, information is power in Survivor and the less information the viewers have the less they can complain about the poor quality of the finished product. He also has a Napoleon complex, quite common for shorter men. He has to impose his authority on everyone else, thinking he is way better than all of them. Since Probe’s maniacal need for secrecy and his Napoleon complex are based on paranoia, I have put him on a regimen of Risperidone. It should quiet him down a lot so, at the very least, we will all enjoy the challenges much more.

Another participant that suffers from Paranoia is Dominick but his stem from seeing himself as the Godfather of the Naviti Famiglia. As their Godfather, he is constantly worried about a intestine war, an uprising of the goats that would suddenly take over. His paranoia is much more superficial so something milder is recommended like Valium. It would quiet him down quite a lot and we’d have a chance of hearing from other players.

The next patient is Wendell. A relatively quiet man, he is however an exhibitionist, constantly parading in front of women and the cameras in his underwear. It’s especially troubling when he is in a relationship with someone back home. I’d say he doesn’t need medication, just a visit from someone back home, either that girlfriend who’d tell him to stop displaying it to everyone or his mother who’d tell him to get dressed.

Kellyn is an interesting case. I think her problems are much more physical than mental. She has acute gut disorder and that can be very painful. In addition to inflammation of the colon it brings, in her case, terrible indecisiveness. For the colon, I suggest she makes an appointment with her physician and only give her Pepto-Bismol for the symptoms but for her mental problems, I strongly suggest psychological therapy. She should spend an hour a week with a specialist instead of with Probst who will only make her problems more acute.

Sebastian acts like a jokester, never saying anything seriously. That hides his deep-rooted insecurities; he knows he isn’t as smart as the others in camp; he can barely keep up with the conversations, having to nod agreement when he didn’t even understand the words being used. For him, unfortunately, there is no such thing as a drug that will make him less insecure. If he wants to get rid of those feelings, he'll have to do it the hard way, with a lot of introspection and counseling.

Chelsea’s main problem is her shyness. She sees a camera and she simply shuts up. She goes to a challenge and she’s so afraid of messing up that she messes up. Yes, I know she won the last immunity challenge but they had to use ropes to tie her up. She couldn’t run away and hide so she did the next best thing: She froze. Luckily, that’s all what was needed to win the necklace. That alone could have given her more assurance and I would have expected her to speak up when her name was dragged through the mud by Desirée but instead she returned to her usual silence. An anti-depressant such as serotonin is prescribed by some doctors but I always prefer the good old method: Scotch! Preferably Glenfiddich... Give her a bottle and watch her open up nicely to everyone. I’ll bet she won’t stop talking. Now if she starts suffering from memory loss then we’ll have to adjust the dosage.


Fortunately, Michael isn’t shy so we won’t have to offer him our favorite medication as he’s under aged. Michael is a hard one to diagnose; on the one hand, he started out as being loyal to his original allies but then he turned his back on them and is now trying to win them back. The symptoms could signal a serious personality disorder bordering on multiple personalities but before we start calling him Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde I think the real problem is immaturity. He wants to prove he can play with the adults but this game isn’t for teenagers.

Most would say that Donathan doesn’t need any medical help. They even say that the world needs many more Donathans. Everything is beautiful in Donathan’s mind even in the middle of this evil game. If everyone was like Donathan, science would be set back a few decades but we wouldn’t have any wars. I don’t agree. In Donathan’s case I see a severe case of optimism bias which is a cognitive bias that causes a person to believe that they are at a lesser risk of experiencing a negative event compared to others. For example, they’ll smoke cigarettes thinking they’ll never be ill. With Donathan, that means that he’ll get targeted but will never believe that his name is coming up. Having found a Hidden Immunity Idol will only reinforce his optimism bias.

Laurel is suffering from a case of Stockholm syndrome. We’ve seen this previously on Survivor, most notably with Trish who was used and abused by Tony but stayed loyally by his side until he got rid of her. Laurel’s case is even more typical because she was actually captured by Naviti and her life was in Dominick’s hands at one point. Yet she constantly returns to Dominick, tying her fate to his, protecting him even if his elimination would free her. She actually trusts him even if he is the Godfather of the Naviti Famiglia. Treatment will be long and difficult because it can only come through therapy.

Angela quietly suffers from post-traumatic syndrome. She wants to kill all those standing in her way. For now, her symptoms are hiding below the surface because people are indeed falling one by one around her and she keeps forging ahead but if she gets voted out, I’d worry about the Live Reunion show. Disgruntled employees often turn with violent force against the people who tormented them so what better way to make a “Big Move” than by using a semi-automatic in front of millions watching? There are only two things that can be done with this dangerous situation: Give her the million or prevent her at all cost from attending the reunion.

Well that’s it; I hope I was able to help the different players and help you understand what is really going on in their head... wait... Jenna you say? There is a Jenna in Fiji? Well then I must diagnose myself with a hearing problem because I’ve been following the players for 10 hours and I haven’t heard anything from her. Can anyone help me with a hearing device?


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Aruba 2862 desperate attention whore postings
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04-29-18, 09:27 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: A Psychiatrist's view of Survivor"
STELLAR POST!!!

“Bored viewer,” who doubles as a conspiracy theorist, living vicariously through Hercule Poirot, and moonshines as Michel Wednesday with his PhD in Spinology can now add Sigmund Freud to his list of never-ending personas. Survivor fans have not witnessed such a diverse individual resume since watching Debbie in Kaoh Rong!

The Aruba Commission has its own conclusions not based on psychoanalysis but derived from a more philosophical matter called—Commonsense.

Our host is the most logical place to begin. The Probster’s secrecy is not a result of paranoia; it is a cunning and diabolical scheme to purposely hide information from viewers in hopes of CBS increasing the telecast to 90 minutes. CBS is not taking the bait knowing an extra 30 minutes will only result in more egocentric posturing and will not reveal any secrets Jeff is purposely hiding from the viewers. The Commission also determines Probe does not keep his hand hidden because of any Napoleon Complex...it is to prevent handshaking since castaways are not supplied with toilet paper.

The Aruba Commission concludes valium may be too extreme of a recommendation for Dom “the Don” Godfather. Valium can be addictive. This past episode offers a safer prescription to keep Dom quiet—just have Kellyn impose her will and forcibly coerce her decisions on him. At least that won’t become addictive.

Kellyn suffers from an English-French bilingual condition called “no-no lolos.” The Commission recommends no action. Let the inflammation of her colon spread to her boobies area. If nothing materializes, make an appointment with a plastic surgeon instead of a psychological therapist...preferably the one who did Stephanie.

Sebastian is far too simple-minded to realize he has any condition or problem. Just leave eyelash boy alone and allow him to live in blissful ignorance and he’ll be happier than a fish in sea.

The Aruba Commission agrees with Michel’s prescription for Chelsea. Eye “candy is dandy; but liquor is quicker.” The Commission recommends a better old method—Spirytus Vodka (192 proof; 96% alcohol.)

Michael has been misdiagnosed. Although a teenager, he is hardly immature. Quite the contrary, he has shown maturity more than twice his age compared to other castaways past and present. Michael’s condition is the result of blindly picking the wrong color buff for both tribal swaps. Sadly, this condition is untreatable with conspiracy theorists’ refusal to believe the swaps were random draw in favor of Production manipulation.

The Commission also says Donathan does not need medical help; but a speech therapist wouldn’t hurt so everyone will be able to understand what the heck he’s trying to say all the time.

Laurel’s condition may have been hastily diagnosed incorrectly. Keeping with the Godfather analogy, Michael Corleone’s closeness with Hyman Roth was hardly a case of the Stockholm Syndrome...it was following his father’s advice to “keep your friends close but your enemies closer.” The remainder of this season will determine whether Laurel should indeed seek treatment, or by ultimately lasting longer than Dom (as Michael outlived Hyman) followed Don Vito’s advice to perfection.

Angela’s psychological analysis is dead-on. But if she gets voted out, the Commission is more concerned about FTC than the Live Reunion Show. The CBS studio during the Reunion Show will be properly secured; but the only thing standing between PTS Angela and Finalists who voted her out is Jeff. A PTS sufferer with violent tendencies is no match for a small man with a Napoleon Complex.

As for Jenna…the Commission prescribes a lifetime supply of Sebastian’s version of the blue “matrix” pill...happiness and the blissful ignorance of a fisherman’s illusions.

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michel2 2786 desperate attention whore postings
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04-29-18, 11:47 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: A Psychiatrist's view of Survivor"
Thank you, commissioner although I have to point out I am more of the Carl Jung school than Freud's and, as far as versatility is concerned, I'd prefer a comparison to Coach than Debbie.

I wish you had listened more to the expert giving testimony to your commission instead of expressing disagreement but it's par for the course. At least I got two agreements out of all this so all is not loss. I knew you'd react to Michael and Kellyn's diagnosis but I wish you had laughed along with some of the others. The observation of Chelsea freezing into an immunity win and Donathan's optimism bias were, I thought, worth a few smiles.

One thing I think the commission clearly got wrong is when it wrote: "just have Kellyn impose her will and forcibly coerce her decisions on Him (Dom)." If they had voted against Michael, you'd have point but a more accurate comment would have been "Just have Kellyn yell and scream to her heart's content and then let her come to reason by voting with him".

Interesting observation though about Laurel sleeping with the enemy. I guess the game's outcome will tell us if she's truly a victim of the Stockholm Syndrome or if she's biding her time.

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kingfish 20309 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-18, 11:06 AM (EST)
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6. "RE: A Psychiatrist's view of Survivor"
Thank you Michel, a psychiatrist's assessment is badly needed around here. I think you've found your character, IMO much more amusing than the bored one.
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michel2 2786 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-18, 11:28 AM (EST)
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8. "RE: A Psychiatrist's view of Survivor"
Thank you, Kingfish. This season is still boring but I had fun doing this. I'll see what comes next.
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kingfish 20309 desperate attention whore postings
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04-29-18, 08:31 PM (EST)
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2. "The City that has no shame…"
It was a dark and rainy night in the city that has no shame, and here on the 54th floor of the Acme coconut tree, your correspondent was pecking out his weekly column for the Fiji Spoilers Tribune. It would also be broadcast on my weekly radio show “All Spoiler Things Considered”, K-ISLE, FM 101.1, the Voice of Fiji.

When suddenly, the door to my dingy smoke-filled office flew open, and isilhouetted in the doorway was a dame. Not just your ordinary city floozy either, this dame was stacked like paper towels on the shelves at Piggly Wiggly. She held her cigarette holder like she was an A-List movie star with a blockbuster movie just around the corner. Either that or like a hooker, not that it mattered.

I immediately covered my work, a reflex in this industry where even roaches will plagiarize. By now, this late in my career, high-lit by a story a number of years ago involving a scandal when my monkey agent CIs caught Probst In flagrante delicto with native hooker (women this time) three ways, there was nothing I wrote that anybody wanted to steal, but reflexes being what they are, I still covered up.

Anyway, this dame was aces from the ground all the way up a pair of long gorgeous legs encased in net stockings, past a set of hips that would cause the Pope to palpitate, and a pair of bosom beauties that bounced right in rhythm to her high heeled strut, and finally to a face that should have been and probably was a few years ago gracing the big screen. The telltale lines of age at the corners of her eyes and her soft, full, sensual lips did nothing to diminish my groin arousing reaction, and I was ready at that moment to do anything she asked, no questions asked.

“Who can I murder for you, I mean what can I do for you lady?” I stammered. She blew out a long magical stream of smoke, and after a heart-breaking moment when I was sure she was going to realize that she was in the wrong office, she said in her smoky alto, “Hello Rumor, may I call you Rumor?” I nodded, speechless, “You come highly recommended by Frank the building custodian, but first I need to ask, how much for your services, sir, I have news that is going to rock the Survivor world, and I’m willing to pay you to share it with the masses on your little radio show.”

I stood there for a moment as the full realization that this goddess was actually talking to me, and when the question she was asking in her soft, sultry, whiskey voice finally penetrated my brain, I managed to spit out that my rate was $100/day plus expenses and per diem. I didn’t even mind that “little radio show” remark because I knew that my life would never be the same for me again, that I would forever be a puppet controlled by this dame, and that I was embarking on the greatest case of my or anyone’s career, “The Case of Who Screwed the Pooch this Week on Survivor”.

She proceeded to pull up my dusty visitor’s chair, wipe it with a hanky that she produced from between her ample and mostly exposed boobies (sorry, I meant bosoms) and relate spoilers so impossible, so macabre, and so full of murky Machiavellian scheming, murder, and lies that it almost distracted me from staring at her. At least I managed to stop the drool.

These are the Spoilers she shared (prepare for the shock of your lives, you will always remember the day you read these pearls);

Little Radio Show Spoiler #1; Once again we are forced to witness the crime from last week, the eviction of Libby. And the continuation of Michael’s lucky streak. And the unbelievable luck that came Chris’s way had when Libby entered the Ponderosa, giving him three days alone there with her. Delicious, sex deprived, Libby. However, knowing Chris, the male model wuss, she probably had to drag a cabana boy into her palapa hut.

Little Radio Show Spoiler #2; Sebastian’s head stone will read “He didn’t rock the man-bun. He just didn’t”.

Little Radio Show Spoiler #3; Desiree wants to break up Naviti. Her first act in that direction was to get herself, a Naviti, evicted.

Little Radio Show Spoiler #4; I just wish someone would kill the Ghost of Lex’s gut.
- Desiree’s gut tells her that it’s time to evict a Naviti.
- Kellyn’s gut tells her that this isn’t the time to shake things up.
- Dom’s gut tells him that Laurel is telling the truth about Desiree trying to evict a Naviti.

But actually, it’s just those sea slugs and fish eyeballs from last week negotiating various gastro systems.

Little Radio Show Spoiler #5; Biggest unspoiler of the episode; Donathan was the last man standing in the school yard pick. He probably still has nightmares about high school PE classes. Or, as he would say, the nerve rackingest nightmares.

Little Radio Show Spoiler #6; There are those that would assume that the producers caused the ocean currents to give Orange the advantage at RC. And the decoy puzzle pieces were a nice touch. Had Dom scratching his head.

Little Radio Show Spoiler #7; Just an observation - the helicopter seated the guests in the back row with two survivors sitting next to open doors. Don’t try and tell me that there wasn’t some apprehension in the hearts of those two that this week’s eviction might be the result of a twist on the way to their reward.

Little Radio Show Spoiler #8; Angela at Ghost Island. Follow the Fire, girlfriend. No wussy crybaby here. Also, no ghosts to kill this time. Oh well, that theme is getting old anyway.

Little Radio Show Spoiler #9; Happy to report that “Mother’s for Decency” finally prevailed on Wendell to ditch those panties and start wearing his bathing suit.

Little Radio Show Spoiler #10; As mentioned previously, Miracle Mike (it’s more than luck by now, it’s becoming miraculous) escaped certain eviction when Desiree imploded. The very surprising twist was that the camera man team didn’t lead him to an HI.

Little Radio Show Spoiler #11; Kellyn; “I’m trying to be Sherlock Holmes, but I’m actually feeling like Helen Keller”. She was also trying to make facial expressions like someone made her eat a lemon at TC.

Little Radio Show Spoiler #12; Probst’s self-important impenetrable post-TC moral of the week: “Whether you’re lying or telling the truth, if you don’t have the relationships to build trust, you won’t get to the end.”


Rumor Mills with the latest spoilers guaranteed to be pretty much true (ish).
(This will have to do until the Tribster returns).

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michel2 2786 desperate attention whore postings
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04-29-18, 09:27 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: The City that has no shame…"
I really enjoyed that introduction. All that was missing was a picture of your visitor. I do have one question though: How valuable are these spoilers if she had to pay you to air them?! That leads me to question them:

#1 - See, if it had any value, this spoiler would have included a video of the delicious, sex starved Libby and the cabana boy. Has Hustler ever done a Survivor Parody?

#2 - Here also, a more valuable spoiler would have told us exactly when and how Sebastian had been killed. Something like Donathan in the swing with the machete or Dominick in the jungle with a gun in a Mafia style execution.

#3 - OK, this one is very good.

#4 - Would your dame know if anyone busts a gut and gets medevaced? It's for my office pool, you know. I'm only leading by 50 points and I want more.

#5 - I'm curious to know who was picked just in front of him and who made that pick.

#6 - As long as he wasn't scratching his arse, we're good.

#7 - Now that would be an interesting twist to watch. That or the chopper going down and then having everyone looking for, you know, survivors.

#8 - GI was fun the week it saved Chris but it hasn't served any real purpose since then.

#9 - Is it really any better?

#10 - We've already had a "Miracle Mike" winning this game by pure luck so is this season a rerun?

#11 - Please tell Aruba. He's got a thing against embellisher yet he's never blamed her for her fake expressions.

#12 - See spoiler 10 above to know that Probe is wrong...again.

Say hello to that dame for me if she ever comes back.

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kingfish 20309 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-18, 11:14 AM (EST)
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7. "RE: The City that has no shame…"
She was a great dame, but sadly she has moved on. She does that, you know, she whistles, you come running, then she blows, leaving you with a yearning in your soul that can never be fulfilled, an open wound of frustrated lust. Yes, it's tempting to jump, the 54 story fall would finally put an end to the torment she caused, but then, where would I be? Right? Brain pudding on the sidewalk, right?

BTW, the offer to pay was, as you might have guessed, a unnecessary ploy to get her story out. I think it's all just a game with dames like that.


Rumor Mills with the latest spoilers guaranteed to be pretty much true (ish).
(This will have to do until the Tribster returns).

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michel2 2786 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-18, 11:34 AM (EST)
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9. "RE: The City that has no shame…"
I've known a few dames like that so I understand. I'd say the one good thing about getting older is that the number of desirable women increases exponentially.
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kingfish 20309 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-18, 02:00 PM (EST)
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10. "RE: The City that has no shame…"
Oh, and By The Way...

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michel2 2786 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-18, 09:38 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: The City that has no shame…"
...and you two used all your time together talking Survivor????
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kingfish 20309 desperate attention whore postings
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05-01-18, 11:07 AM (EST)
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12. "RE: The City that has no shame…"
This is a city with no shame. Also one that doesn't give me a break.
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Aruba 2862 desperate attention whore postings
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05-02-18, 06:32 PM (EST)
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13. "RE: The City that has no shame…"
When a hard-working, nose-to-the-grindstone player used proactivity to facilitate his advancement, you have naysayers who will STILL use terms like "miracle" & "luck" to discount that very attribute EVERYONE should possess.

This is not only sad...it is very, VERY sad!!

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michel2 2786 desperate attention whore postings
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05-02-18, 07:27 PM (EST)
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14. "RE: The City that has no shame…"
Hard-working? Michael didn't find his first idol until Day 7 (episode 3), played it in episode 5 and he didn't get it back before episode 8 so there definitely was luck involved as anyone could have been "proactive" while Michael wasn't.
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