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"S23 Gufu Award Thread"
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dabo 26942 desperate attention whore postings
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09-14-11, 11:59 PM (EST)
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"S23 Gufu Award Thread"
And welcome to Survivor: South Pacific! Honestly, haven't most of them been South Pacific. I should probably look it up and tally it, but they love them islands. Anyways---

The Gufu Award was established for pointing out the dangdumbest game moves in Survivor. The original intent was simply to pay attention to what the contestants do and say that's dangdumb gameness, but from the outset of The Gufu Award noncontestant stuff had a way of creeping in, so there are actually two categories you may cast your votes on, Contestant and Production. Please keep them separate.

And to start things off let me thank the casting department for throwing us two pageant queens this year.


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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 Week 1 dabo 09-15-11 1
 RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread foonermints 09-15-11 2
 RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread Naked 09-15-11 3
   RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread Brownroach 09-15-11 6
       RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread Estee 09-15-11 7
           RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread RollDdice 09-16-11 15
 RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread Dakota 09-15-11 4
 RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread jbug 09-15-11 5
 RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread Belle Book 09-15-11 8
   RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread suzzee 09-16-11 9
       RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread agman 09-16-11 10
           RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread suzzee 09-16-11 11
           RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread Karchita 09-16-11 14
               RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread agman 09-16-11 17
       RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread Belle Book 09-16-11 16
 RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread suzzee 09-16-11 12
 It's not a GUFU points list. Estee 09-16-11 13
 RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread Colonel Zoidberg 09-17-11 18
 Week 2 dabo 09-22-11 19
   RE: Week 2 Dakota 09-22-11 24
   RE: Week 2 Belle Book 09-22-11 26
 Week 2 Colonel Zoidberg 09-22-11 20
   RE: Week 2 dabo 09-22-11 21
   RE: Week 2 udg 09-22-11 22
   RE: Week 2 Dakota 09-22-11 23
   RE: Week 2 Brownroach 09-22-11 25
       RE: Week 2 iltarion 09-23-11 27
           RE: Week 2 Sunny_Bunny 09-24-11 28
               RE: Week 2 Belle Book 09-24-11 29
   RE: Week 2 Naked 09-28-11 30
 Week 3 dabo 09-29-11 31
   RE: Week 3 Colonel Zoidberg 09-29-11 32
       RE: Week 3 dabo 09-29-11 33
   RE: Week 3 suzzee 09-29-11 36
   RE: Week 3 Dakota 09-30-11 39
   RE: Week 3 Naked 09-30-11 40
 RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread MissMyth 09-29-11 34
   RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread Colonel Zoidberg 09-29-11 35
       RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread KObrien_fan 09-29-11 37
           RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread iltarion 09-29-11 38
 Week 4 dabo 10-06-11 41
   RE: Week 4 Colonel Zoidberg 10-06-11 42
   RE: Week 4 Dakota 10-06-11 43
       RE: Week 4 Draco Malfoy 10-06-11 46
           RE: Week 4 Dakota 10-08-11 51
   RE: Week 4 udg 10-06-11 44
       RE: Week 4 suzzee 10-06-11 49
   RE: Week 4 Belle Book 10-06-11 45
       RE: Week 4 Draco Malfoy 10-06-11 47
           RE: Week 4 Belle Book 10-06-11 48
               RE: Week 4 iltarion 10-08-11 50
 Week 5 dabo 10-13-11 52
   RE: Week 5 Naked 10-13-11 53
       RE: Week 5 jbug 10-13-11 54
           RE: Week 5 Dakota 10-13-11 58
       RE: Week 5 dabo 10-14-11 62
   RE: Week 5 Molaholic 10-13-11 55
   RE: Week 5 Sunny_Bunny 10-13-11 56
   RE: Week 5 Belle Book 10-13-11 57
   RE: Week 5 Dakota 10-13-11 59
   RE: Week 5 Colonel Zoidberg 10-13-11 60
       RE: Week 5 dabo 10-14-11 63
           RE: Week 5 Colonel Zoidberg 10-15-11 67
   RE: Week 5 jbug 10-14-11 61
       RE: Week 5 dabo 10-14-11 64
   RE: Week 5 Dakota 10-15-11 65
       RE: Week 5 Colonel Zoidberg 10-15-11 66
           RE: Week 5 iltarion 10-15-11 68
 Week 6 dabo 10-20-11 69
   RE: Week 6 Colonel Zoidberg 10-20-11 70
       RE: Week 6 KObrien_fan 10-20-11 71
       RE: Week 6 suzzee 10-20-11 72
       RE: Week 6 dabo 10-20-11 73
   RE: Week 6 Belle Book 10-20-11 74
       RE: Week 6 iltarion 10-20-11 75
   RE: Week 6 Molaholic 10-21-11 76
       RE: Week 6 iltarion 10-22-11 77
           RE: Week 6 suzzee 10-24-11 78
 Week 7 Colonel Zoidberg 10-27-11 79
   Agree dabo 10-27-11 81
 Week 7 dabo 10-27-11 80
   RE: Week 7 suzzee 10-27-11 82
   RE: Week 7 jbug 10-27-11 83
   RE: Week 7 Belle Book 10-27-11 84
 Week 8 dabo 11-02-11 85
   RE: Week 8 Colonel Zoidberg 11-03-11 86
   RE: Week 8 suzzee 11-03-11 87
   RE: Week 8 Belle Book 11-03-11 88
   RE: Week 8 Dakota 11-03-11 89
       RE: Week 8 iltarion 11-03-11 90
 Week 9 dabo 11-10-11 91
   RE: Week 9 Das Mole 11-10-11 92
       RE: Week 9 Molaholic 11-10-11 93
           RE: Week 9 agman 11-10-11 94
               LOL jbug 11-10-11 95
                   RE: LOL agman 11-10-11 97
       RE: Week 9 Belle Book 11-10-11 96
           RE: Week 9 qwertypie 11-10-11 98
               RE: Week 9 agman 11-10-11 100
   RE: Week 9 Colonel Zoidberg 11-10-11 99
       RE: Week 9 Belle Book 11-10-11 101
       RE: Week 9 jbug 11-11-11 102
       Just FYI dabo 11-15-11 114
   RE: Week 9 dabo 11-11-11 103
   RE: Week 9 Dakota 11-11-11 104
       RE: Week 9 dabo 11-11-11 105
           RE: Week 9 iltarion 11-11-11 106
               RE: Week 9 Colonel Zoidberg 11-12-11 107
                   RE: Week 9 Belle Book 11-12-11 109
                       RE: Week 9 Colonel Zoidberg 11-12-11 111
                   RE: Week 9 iltarion 11-13-11 112
                       RE: Week 9 Belle Book 11-14-11 113
           RE: Week 9 Dakota 11-12-11 108
               RE: Week 9 dabo 11-12-11 110
                   RE: Week 9 michel 11-16-11 115
   RE: Week 9 michel 11-16-11 116
       RE: Week 9 agman 11-17-11 119
       RE: Week 9 Draco Malfoy 11-18-11 122
 Week 10 dabo 11-17-11 117
   RE: Week 10 Das Mole 11-17-11 118
   RE: Week 10 Dakota 11-17-11 120
   RE: Week 10 Belle Book 11-17-11 121
   RE: Week 10 Draco Malfoy 11-18-11 123
       RE: Week 10 agman 11-19-11 124
       RE: Week 10 Dakota 11-19-11 125
           RE: Week 10 iltarion 11-19-11 126
 REcrap Week dabo 11-24-11 127
   RE: REcrap Week suzzee 11-24-11 128
 Week 11 dabo 12-01-11 129
   RE: Week 11 Belle Book 12-01-11 130
       RE: Week 11 iltarion 12-03-11 131
 Week 12 dabo 12-08-11 132
   RE: Week 12 Dakota 12-08-11 133
   RE: Week 12 agman 12-08-11 134
   RE: Week 12 Belle Book 12-08-11 135
 Week 13 dabo 12-15-11 136
   RE: Week 13 suzzee 12-15-11 137
   RE: Week 13 agman 12-15-11 138
       RE: Week 13 jbug 12-15-11 140
   RE: Week 13 Belle Book 12-15-11 139
   RE: Week 13 Molaholic 12-15-11 141
   RE: Week 13 Draco Malfoy 12-15-11 142
   RE: Week 13 Colonel Zoidberg 12-17-11 143
 Finale dabo 12-19-11 144
   RE: Finale suzzee 12-19-11 145
       RE: Finale iltarion 12-19-11 146

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dabo 26942 desperate attention whore postings
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09-15-11, 00:05 AM (EST)
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1. "Week 1"
Hey, don't wait for me to start every week, over the season if one of you gets here before me just go ahead and start the weekly subthread. Do be sure to wait for the midnight all clear after each episode, though.

Contestant Gufu #1: Christine. Open mouth, insert foot. Mind you, I don't mind if Coach and Ozzy are temporary players, but saying it in front of Coach and Ozzy just paints a big target on your back.

Contestant Gufu #2: Semhar. Just for being totally unprepared to be on Survivor.

Contestant Gufu #3: Ozzy. Yeah, you should have at least taught her to how to make fire.

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foonermints 14531 desperate attention whore postings
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09-15-11, 00:45 AM (EST)
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2. "RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread"
1. Translucent Boy: for his whiney diatribe at Tribal Council.

2. Ozzy: for wearing Toadskin. I'm throwing away the rest of my fabric in the garage.

3. Samovar (sp?): "Who knew coconuts were so heavy?!"

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Naked 887 desperate attention whore postings
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09-15-11, 01:39 AM (EST)
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3. "RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread"
Brandon...

For tattooing the name Hantz on himself twice, not covering it up with a different tattoo when he got the call to be on survivor, and then trying to hide it like he was ashamed of his name...

VOTE NAKED 2004

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Brownroach 15341 desperate attention whore postings
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09-15-11, 04:45 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread"
I kept thinking, why the heck did he get a tattoo of his surname anyway? Is that something that a lot of people do? I've never seen or heard of anyone who got their surname tattooed on their body.


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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings
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09-15-11, 04:51 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread"
I'll go with the same theory I used with HK's Elise: it's there for those mornings after when he's so hung over, he needs something to tell him who he is.
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RollDdice 5949 desperate attention whore postings
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09-16-11, 05:23 PM (EST)
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15. "RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread"
In the BTS thresd "El Pollo, Pescado & Dragon Loco" I opined that it was the same principle as Mom writing your name in your underwear before you went off to Summer Camp -- in case you get lost.

*shrugs* Variations on a meme I guess.


Bounce or Die by IceCat

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Dakota 5819 desperate attention whore postings
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09-15-11, 02:27 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread"
LAST EDITED ON 09-15-11 AT 02:27 PM (EST)

1. Christine. First GUFU of the season. Calling Ozzy and Coach Temporary players.
2. Dawn for talking to everyone who would listen as she melted down.
3. Semhar for talking smack, failing miserably and then arguing with her critic (Mark?) whatshisname. And then there's the red bra with the purple tank.
4. Brandon for thinking that he could go 39 days without taking off his shirt. We'll see. And for not helping build the shelter because he couldn't take his eyes off Mikala's oobies while confessing he's an evil sinner, possessed by the devil for doing so and will spend the next 38 days repenting. Ok, he didn't really say all that, but that's what I "heard".

Production: Obvious emphasis on oobies during the first episode, while neglecting the pecs and abs of Albert and Keith.

Tribe's Creativity Overflowing

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jbug 17146 desperate attention whore postings
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09-15-11, 03:22 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread"
Stacey: totally clueless
looking for the clue to the HII; putting your hand in the hole in the tree; removing said hand without pulling the stick out with it.
And then? saying to the camera that you might be this <> close and not know it.


Bug size bikini designed by Tribe

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Belle Book 3613 desperate attention whore postings
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09-15-11, 08:42 PM (EST)
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8. "RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread"
Gufu #1 goes to Christine for being so openly hostile to Ozzy and Coach. Not a good way to make friends and influence people.

Gufu #2 goes to Semhar for volunteering to throw the coconuts only to choke so badly -- and probably for not making alliances to save herself in case. That's why she was voted out.

Gufu #3 goes to Brandon for having a "Hantz" tattoo which can easily be seen. Unfortunately, I suspect he got it a long time ago, but if there was some way to hide it other than by covering it, he should've gone for it before leaving to be in Samoa.


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suzzee 5961 desperate attention whore postings
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09-16-11, 09:48 AM (EST)
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9. "RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread"
Hantz is l9, he couldn't have gotten it that long ago. Actually I think in his CBS interview he claimed he was an a$$ in high school when Russell was on Survivor. Probably got them then but if he was 17 or under a parent had to sign for him.


You can take the girl out of Jersey but you can't take the Jersey out of the girl!

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agman 11166 desperate attention whore postings
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09-16-11, 09:53 AM (EST)
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10. "RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread"
Makes you wonder what the parent was thinking.



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suzzee 5961 desperate attention whore postings
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09-16-11, 02:21 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread"
Makes you wonder. shudder


agman makes me hot

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Karchita 4483 desperate attention whore postings
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09-16-11, 04:30 PM (EST)
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14. "RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread"
Since the parent was Russell's brother or married to him, well, maybe we don't have to wonder too much.


face="Arial"]

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agman 11166 desperate attention whore postings
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09-16-11, 10:36 PM (EST)
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17. "RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread"
That's frightening!


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Belle Book 3613 desperate attention whore postings
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09-16-11, 07:38 PM (EST)
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16. "RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread"
Well, at least Brandon probably got it before he ever went on Survivor. It's too bad for him that he probably now regrets ever being connected to Troll.

Come play my new game: Big Brother: What If? at the following link: http://community.realitytvworld.com/boards/DCForumID7/1612.shtml

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suzzee 5961 desperate attention whore postings
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09-16-11, 02:24 PM (EST)
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12. "RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread"
Pre-Production: For putting all the pageant bunnies, playboy bunnies and models in the line-up. How's Ozzy supposed to change his game when that's all he's around?
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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings
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09-16-11, 02:24 PM (EST)
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13. "It's not a GUFU points list."
The Reality TV Fantasy League just conduced its first Survivor draft and put up the show-specific scoring rules. Given that the league generally rewards bad behavior, I was surprised to see what they came up with.

http://www.grantland.com/blog/hollywood-prospectus/post/_/id/33894/reality-scorecard-meatball-sandwich

Definitely a work in progress which needs some major help.

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Colonel Zoidberg 3662 desperate attention whore postings
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09-17-11, 09:24 AM (EST)
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18. "RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread"
Semhar: For being so good with words, you were pretty lousy at using them to plead your case.

Dawn: Give it a rest already. Survivor's hard. Also, for your criticism of "Bob Marley," you were sure lucky it was him helping you out rather than, say, Boston Rob, who might not have been so forgiving.

Li'l Hantz: Shut. The. Hell. Up.

Christine: Had the Oompaloompas been going to TC, you would be going first, and all without the Phillip foil to make you look at least somewhat entertaining. Also, maybe try waiting until people aren't paying attention to look for the hidden idol instead of going for it ten seconds after hitting the beach. And no, it wasn't in Ozzy and Coach's helicopter, either.

Cochran: It's official, Estee's warped "player asks to be called by his last name" scenario came true. And to think, there really weren't too many Johns on the show (though I wouldn't want to be associated with either.) Also, if thisis the crap Harvard's churning out, I will waltz to victory in every courtroom in America until I die.

Side note: If I recall correctly, the occupations of every winner: corporate trainer, nurse, soccer player, office manager, used car salesman, student, office manager, DAW, construction worker, firefighter, talk show host, yoga instructor, investment banker, ad executive, flight attendant, foxy boxer, physics teacher, cattle farmer, sales rep, uber-DAW, Fabio impersonator, and Robfadda. At no point on that list did I mention a profession that really should be much better at the game than it is - attorney. And now, with Johnnie Cochran 2.0 playing Survivor, I think I am understanding why.

Production: Enough with people being listed by one name and asking to be called another. Cochran, Papa Bear, etc. The names are getting really hard to follow. Thank you, Dreamz and Rocky, for starting the trend. Now let me punch you both in the face.

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dabo 26942 desperate attention whore postings
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09-22-11, 00:24 AM (EST)
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19. "Week 2"
Production Gufu: So obvious you planted the HIIs in an Ozzy-friendly way.

Contestant Gufu: Brandon. Grow up, it's all in your head.


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Dakota 5819 desperate attention whore postings
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09-22-11, 01:08 PM (EST)
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24. "RE: Week 2"
LAST EDITED ON 09-22-11 AT 01:30 PM (EST)

1. Brandon. Need I say more?
2. Christine and Stacey for not realizing they are on Exile Island with their tribe and having no apparent game plan.
3. Coach, for playing the rope chopping boot order challenge so early in the game.

Production: I doubt Brandon passed the psychological test yet he's on the show. Keep the machetes away from him.

ETA: Whitney Duncan weekly video performance
Right Road Now


Agman Rocks!

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Belle Book 3613 desperate attention whore postings
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09-22-11, 04:35 PM (EST)
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26. "RE: Week 2"
Contestant Gufu #1: Christine and Stacey for failing to make inroads with the others on Upolu.

Contestant Gufu #2: Brandon. It's not Mikayla who is the problem here, it's your own desires.


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Colonel Zoidberg 3662 desperate attention whore postings
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09-22-11, 00:30 AM (EST)
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20. "Week 2"
Let's give this a go.

Christine: For completing your story arc - as this season's version of Francesca. Who's the "temporary player" now, dumbturd?

Oompaloompa tribe: For voting for four different people. Maybe not a Gufu, but try to get on the same page, or at least in the same library.

Brandon: If you truly love God, you will love your neighbor as yourself. And in doing so, you will shut your damn mouth already because we're effing sick of listening to you blather on about how threatening Mikayla is because she has oobies. You're faithful to your wife. Fine. I don't care. Get the eff over yourself. And you couldn't even throw a meaningless vote Mikayla's way anyway, so get off your high horse and come down and join the rest of the world.

Cochran: You cut open a coconut. What the hell do you want, a medal?

Production: It looked to all outward appearances that, when Christine arrived at Redemption Island, Semhar was, in fact, dead.

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dabo 26942 desperate attention whore postings
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09-22-11, 10:01 AM (EST)
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21. "RE: Week 2"
>Christine: For completing your story arc
>- as this season's version
>of Francesca. Who's the "temporary
>player" now, dumbturd?

LOL.

Contestant Gufu: Christine. Even not having found the idol, the clue itself was clout, she could have maybe saved herself by sharing that clout. Lousy lousy player.

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udg 3381 desperate attention whore postings
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09-22-11, 11:53 AM (EST)
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22. "RE: Week 2"
>Production: It looked to all outward
>appearances that, when Christine arrived
>at Redemption Island, Semhar was,
>in fact, dead.

*snicker* It totally did!


Hanzhole the 2nd: For expecting all attractive young women to wear burquas and shun the company of men so that he won't be tempted by their sexy, sexy wiles. (Also, for not understanding that "being faithful" doesn't just mean not having an affair when NOT tempted, but also when BEING tempted. Not that Mikey would touch him with a 29.5 foot pole.)

Hanzhole Jr.: For lying. Twice. And outing himself. Twice. (Also for having no long-term game plan.)

Christine: For not realizing she was alienating herself with every move she made.


Production: There's a rock in the hole in the bump on the log in the tree that Ozzie can climb! (And under that rock is an HII.)


Honorable mention: Brandon, for acting like a naughty 6 year old, sneaking behind mommy's back to open a coconut with a machete. (Part of me is starting to hope that some of this is just an act.)


Thanks to tribephyl for the sigpic!

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Dakota 5819 desperate attention whore postings
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09-22-11, 01:03 PM (EST)
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23. "RE: Week 2"
>Brandon: If you truly love God,
>you will love your neighbor
>as yourself. And in doing
>so, you will shut your
>damn mouth already because we're
>effing sick of listening to
>you blather on about how
>threatening Mikayla is because she
>has oobies. You're faithful to
>your wife. Fine. I don't
>care. Get the eff over
>yourself. And you couldn't even
>throw a meaningless vote Mikayla's
>way anyway, so get off
>your high horse and come
>down and join the rest
>of the world.

Thank you Colonel. I had no idea how to express it.


Agman Rocks!

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Brownroach 15341 desperate attention whore postings
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09-22-11, 01:37 PM (EST)
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25. "RE: Week 2"
It looked to all outward appearances that, when Christine arrived at Redemption Island, Semhar was, in fact, dead.

That little sandcrab probably killed her when it couldn't listen to any more of her rotten poetry.

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iltarion 1791 desperate attention whore postings
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09-23-11, 11:29 PM (EST)
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27. "RE: Week 2"

Player Gufu: Brandon, just one of God's many gufus.

Player Gufu: Christine, author of the short story entitled- "How to be eliminated from Survivor in less than 10 days." Well done.

Player Gufu: Stacy - For getting close to Christine, and for the dramatics.

Tribe Gufu: Savior or whatever... for booting two boobs instead of one.

Production: Where are the personalities? And not enough eye candy...

>

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Sunny_Bunny 5597 desperate attention whore postings
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09-24-11, 02:18 AM (EST)
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28. "RE: Week 2"
Production: Where are the personalities? And not enough eye candy...

LOL. If there was any more eye candy, Brandon's head would explode.


It's up to you to stay pg 13 or not.

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Belle Book 3613 desperate attention whore postings
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09-24-11, 04:05 PM (EST)
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29. "RE: Week 2"
How true! Maybe it's just as well that there's not much eye candy this time!


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Naked 887 desperate attention whore postings
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09-28-11, 05:48 PM (EST)
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30. "RE: Week 2"
"Cochran: You cut open a coconut. What the hell do you want, a medal?"

Not only does he want a medal, but I think that he wants both teams to gather up and throw him a parade

VOTE NAKED 2004

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dabo 26942 desperate attention whore postings
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09-29-11, 00:11 AM (EST)
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31. "Week 3"
Contestant Gufu: Ozzy et al. What was the point in telling Papa Bear it was Cochran? Too many lies that aren't necessary, eventually you have an alliance of liars who can't trust each otehr.

Contestant Gufu: Papa Bear. Okay, the idol hunt was amusing, even the running part, but the retun to camp... let's just say you won't be winning an Emmy.

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09-29-11, 00:51 AM (EST)
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32. "RE: Week 3"
Ah, the many gufus of the stupid...

Brandon: A little word of advice. When you're suffering from diarrhea, either normal or of the mouth variety, the best strategy is not to spew it in front of other people. It makes them really uncomfortable and grossed out. Also, with all the promises you've gone back on (voting for Mikayla, not telling people about the plan to vote for Mikayla, not telling the tribe your last name, not keeping your shirt on for the love of God,) you have a bright future in Congress.

Papa Bear: Without going for the obvious joke about a bear heading in the woods to do something, let's just say thatm hypothetically, you pull off a good run and get back in the game. The Scorched Earth strategy won't sit too well with your fellow Kawaii peeps, and the Oompaloompas will look at you as a Kawaii. Therefore, you'll pull a Matt and be right back on RI.

Ozzy: It's a bit too soon to go telling people you have the idol. Like, if you're playing right, the first person you tell will be the banker who deposits your million-dollar check.

Semhar: You do know that the duel was about balancing an idol, not rattling off prose, right? Just checking.

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09-29-11, 02:00 AM (EST)
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33. "RE: Week 3"
That was one doozy of a masochistic pome, though.

Brandon, where to start. Drama queen doesn't even realize he's the one creating all the drama that upsets him.

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09-29-11, 08:44 AM (EST)
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36. "RE: Week 3"
Production: For casting Brendoomed, Papa Bore, Semhar-d-har-har in the first place.

Ozzy: You're gonna have another idol to take home with you, you should make bookends out of them.




Light my torch


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09-30-11, 00:17 AM (EST)
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39. "RE: Week 3"
Yea, like all of you said.

Production: Going for the emotionally-disturbed season without telling anyone ahead of time. Geez, Coach is looking pretty normal right now.

Tribe's Creativity Overflowing

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09-30-11, 03:03 AM (EST)
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40. "RE: Week 3"
Production

The entire first quarter of the episode is now focused on people who are not really playing the game, have no real shot at winning, and are bitter, lonely, and hateful... I am going to start tuning in at 7:15 here locally as to not have to watch this garbage.

VOTE NAKED 2004

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MissMyth 352 desperate attention whore postings
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09-29-11, 02:05 AM (EST)
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34. "RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread"
So, is Semaphore suggesting she'll get naked for Jiffy and bear him 11 children, or ....???

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09-29-11, 07:20 AM (EST)
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35. "RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread"
I couldn't tell if she was talking to Jiffy, Ozzy, or the air. She could have been simply rattling off words - but if we find out later Semhar is the new Julie...
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09-29-11, 09:12 AM (EST)
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37. "RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread"
She was pulling a Michael Buble' "just haven't met you yet" but in spoken word not song.


I'm not sure who came first hosting games, you or Tribe, but you are both nefarious! - CTGirl

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09-29-11, 11:21 PM (EST)
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38. "RE: S23 Gufu Award Thread"

Player Gufu: Ozzy- for apparently picking the wrong guy to trust.

Player Gufu- Dawn and Cochran. What exactly is their plan? Wait until they are booted to start playing?

Player Gufu- Brandon... dude......

>

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10-06-11, 00:14 AM (EST)
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41. "Week 4"
Contestant Gufu: Brandon. Shut * Up! * Stop * It! * Quit * Thinking * Things! What an idiot.
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10-06-11, 06:49 AM (EST)
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42. "RE: Week 4"
Hmmm...where do we begin?

Brandon: Are you **sure** you're related to Russell Hantz? Well, then again, you do have this in common - neither of you has any idea how to handle the social portion of the game.

Edna: It appears that whatever Brandon has that makes him a social idiot is contagious, and you seem to have caught it.

Oompaloompas: What the hell? Vote out Stacey? What did she ever do to you guys?

Coach (or "Benjamin," as he seems to be called in the previews): Let's all hug the person we just voted out. Who already doesn't seem to like the living. And who just busted her buns for this tribe in a hell of an effort. I hope to hell she gets back in the game just to teach you and your band of morons a lesson.

Jim and Cochran: Was some of Jim's pot part of that care package? Jim + Cochran + Dawn = three. Ozzy + Keith + Elyse + Whitney = four. Ozzy + immunity idol = three overthrowing four isn't going to work. Arg, the decline of math in our society...

Production: Setting the stage for a showdown between mighty Ozzy and underdog Cochran...and then deciding, "Nope. We're sending the Oompaloompas to TC instead, and the vote's a dud." What an anticlimax.

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10-06-11, 10:31 AM (EST)
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43. "RE: Week 4"
I'm trying to think of something other than a reiteration of last week's entry -- the year of the emotionally disturbed. We have two miserable women in Christine and Stacey, one geek who endlessly rambles on about himself, the try-too-hard crowd in Edna and Brandon, and the blindside alliance over on the other tribe. What are their names again? I can only remember Whitney because we haven't been subjected to their psychiatric profiles just yet. So, I'll give you more Whitney with a song title that fits this Survivor season:

Kinda Crazy


Tribe's Creativity Overflowing

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10-06-11, 05:19 PM (EST)
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46. "RE: Week 4"
The only reason I remember Whitney is because she was featured in a LOT of promos before the show. At first I assumed that was because she was out early.

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10-08-11, 09:01 PM (EST)
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51. "RE: Week 4"
Hoping she sticks around awhile. One of the few that isn't irritating, foul, loathsome or evil. And she doesn't seem like she'll need psychotherapy for 3 years after the show.


Tribe's Creativity Overflowing

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udg 3381 desperate attention whore postings
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10-06-11, 02:17 PM (EST)
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44. "RE: Week 4"
1) Rick who? I had to look his name up on CBS.com to even write that about him. I saw him sitting on a log during TC and literally said outloud, "Who the h*** is that!?" Where did the lumberjack come from, and how did he get on camera without anyone noticing?

2) Brandon.

3) Also Brandon.

4) Anyone who thinks that 3 > 4. I.e., Cochran.

5) Jim. For thinking that 3 > (4 + HII).


Thanks to tribephyl for the sigpic!

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10-06-11, 08:08 PM (EST)
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49. "RE: Week 4"
The winning formula is:

(Burnett + Jiffy)/(Brandon-brains)=(Cochran - herpes)+ oh forget it.


A Tribe masterpiece


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10-06-11, 04:40 PM (EST)
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45. "RE: Week 4"
LAST EDITED ON 10-07-11 AT 04:25 PM (EST)

Contestant Gufu #1: Brandon. He just doesn't know how to play the social game! At least he's better than Troll!

Contestant Gufu #2: Apparently Jim & Cochran since they need two more people to make a power play on Ozzy. Of course, Keith & Whitney might be willing to help if it means flushing out the Hidden Immunity Idol!

ETA: I forgot a third gufu:

Contestant Gufu #3: Ozzy. Have you forgotten that you didn't do enough plotting on Cook Islands and that's one reason why you lost? Or that someone who doesn't remember the past is condemned to repeat it? I guess you did.


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10-06-11, 05:21 PM (EST)
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47. "RE: Week 4"
>Contestant Gufu #1: Brandon.
>He just doesn't know how
>to play the social game!
> At least he's better
>than Troll!

I'm not entirely sure about that. Li'l Russell showed signs that he could be charming when absolutely necessary. Particularly when assembling his "dumb girls" alliances.

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10-06-11, 08:04 PM (EST)
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48. "RE: Week 4"
True, but Troll totally ignored the part of the game which says "Be nice to the jury!" It's one thing to stand there and acknowledge that you beat those opposing tribe members who are on the jury, it's another thing to rub their defeat in their faces and gloat!


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10-08-11, 08:59 PM (EST)
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50. "RE: Week 4"

Jim and Cochran- Not sure why you are celebrating when you don't have the numbers to boot anyone.

Edna - There is a fine line between being friendly and being annoying.

Ozzy - Different season, different bikinied babe, same game.

Stacy - Got beat by Dawn. Rant post vote made no sense whatsoever.


>

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10-13-11, 00:38 AM (EST)
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52. "Week 5"
Contestants Gufu: Keith and Whitney. It was dumb of them to throw away their votes. Pick a side, pick both sides, fall for a ploy; but no, now they are the couple in Savaii.

Contestant Gufu: Cochran. Fishing is man's work, shut up and be happy doing your part to fit in around camp.

Contestant Gufu: Benjamin. That is such a stupid thing to get upset over, Benjamin.

Contestant Googoo: Brandon. Someone find him his binky, I am so sick of this wuss.

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10-13-11, 01:17 AM (EST)
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53. "RE: Week 5"
Production Gufu

The challenge today may have been the most disgusting thing that I have ever watched on television. I actually had to hold back a wretch. As I DVR to watch so as to avoid commercials, I actually would up fast forwarding through this. There was nothing interesting or watchable about this one at all

VOTE NAKED 2004

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10-13-11, 08:59 AM (EST)
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54. "RE: Week 5"
I agree - even tho we have seen it before, this time there seemed to be much more spitting - ewwwwww!

Production Gufu: Give the winners the big hunks of meat left on the spits instead of the bits & pieces covered with spit.

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10-13-11, 09:38 PM (EST)
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58. "RE: Week 5"
I'm sitting with Naked and JBug. We'll each get our own bag of popcorn.


Agman Rocks!


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dabo 26942 desperate attention whore postings
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10-14-11, 12:56 PM (EST)
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62. "RE: Week 5"
I'm going to join everyone about the MOST DISGUSTING CHALLENGE EVER! Production Gufu. Couldn't stand to watch it anymore after a bit the first time, on rewatch I tried to sit through it but wound up on FF when they went to Spitcam, ick ick ick ick ick!

I pretty much despise food challenges anyway, with the exception of Survivor Auction. At least in classic Survivor they used to bring in something of local origin that tied in with the setting, that was alway more tollerable to me than the bust a gut TAR challenges. This shark frenzy, though, just seemed to ruin a lot of pig. Combine that with the rancor at RI, whiny wimp Brandon, whiney nerd Cochran, the stupid Benjamin thing, it was just an awful episode. At least there was a blindside.

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10-13-11, 10:56 AM (EST)
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55. "RE: Week 5"
Production GUFU - Yea, a gross food challenge that gets taken back to camp (gleefully?). I guess it could have been worse --- they could have given the winners both buckets.

Production GUFU - There are scales that can register over 20 lbs without spinning around you know...

Contestant GUFU - Woody Allen Cochrane -- Oral Herpes? Really? Way to impress, kiddo.

Contestant GUFU - One word. "Benjamin" <cue Mrs. Robinson music.>

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10-13-11, 11:28 AM (EST)
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56. "RE: Week 5"
Production: I'm ringing in with everyone else that this was totally over - the- top in the gross factor this week. Ewwww!

Contestant: Wow, Benjamin, she spills her guts and the only thing that made your day bad was the use of your name.

Contestant: Cochran. For a guy who is a big fan, you sure are an idiot. Whiny wussies never win. lol



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10-13-11, 04:49 PM (EST)
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57. "RE: Week 5"
I'm adding an additional Gufu:

Stacey: You should've thought about strategy when grabbing those balls!


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Dakota 5819 desperate attention whore postings
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10-13-11, 09:54 PM (EST)
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59. "RE: Week 5"
1. Stacey who, like Christine, thought she'd be less unsociable and angry if she were starving and dirty on a reality TV show.

2. Cochran for spending another 3 days yapping about his shortcomings and insecurities. Again. Then going all puppetmaster on us.

3. Albert for sharing the clue.

4. Brandon. This isn't Evangelical Survivor. It's Survivor. It's not 39-day-camp for righteous self-improvement. Please shut up. TYVM.

5. Why is it that Ozzie and Elyse were threats? Two against the rest of you. Yea, Ozzie's good in challenges, but chances of a Colby kind of run are slim and it's irrelevant until after the merge. So you vote out Elyse without talking to Ozzie and clue him in on the tribe putting a target on his back. For what? Build a case for voting her out based on all the challenges you're losing and sell it to Ozzie. If she's not the weakest link then vote out the weakest link 'cause you got to win challenges, people.

Production: Gross stops being cool around the age of 15.


Agman Rocks!


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Colonel Zoidberg 3662 desperate attention whore postings
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10-13-11, 10:42 PM (EST)
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60. "RE: Week 5"
Ah, color me gufu-tastic.

Brandon: Are you crying? Are you crying? There's no crying! There's no crying in Survivor! Earl Cole got shipped off to the Ravu beach! He lived off pineapples and insanity and he had to put up with Rocky! Did he cry? And do you know why? Because there's no crying in Survivor.

Coach: Or whatever the hell they're calling you these days. First off, I get it. I don't like my given name, either. And apparently, neither do Cochran and Papa Bear. But the way to get back at people for calling you by your non-preferred name isn't to "go nuts." It's to call the other person by a name they like even less than you like your non-preferred name. Trust me - sixty percent of the time, it works every time. Also, the notion that your parents started calling you Coach when you turned 18 is about as believable as the idea that my parents are going to start calling me by my law school nickname. Either they called you Coach from birth or they never did. Sheesh, I guess it really is all about the Benjamins.

Keith and Whitney: Congratulations, dumbturds. You just gave control of the game back to the nerd, the old lady, and the pot dealer. Also, Ozzy has the idol, so he's bound to be a lot like that athlete's foot infection you just can't get rid of - not saying he'll win, but he'll persist for a rather annoying time. Oh yeah, and while it took him a while to get over Amanda, he seemed to forget about Semhar pretty quickly, so here's to thinking Elyse will be far from his mind soon.

Stacey: Did anyone here tell you that you wouldn't be playing with seventeen dead people? You seem to relate to the dead better than the living. I'd stick to what you know. That said, the bit about going to hell with gasoline drawers on? You and Semhar could write some good stuff if you put your heads together. That and you, like Semhar, suck at Survivor.

Production: Who the hell came up with that challenge? And were they doing some shopping in Jim's store beforehand?

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dabo 26942 desperate attention whore postings
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10-14-11, 01:55 PM (EST)
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63. "RE: Week 5"
That challenge was actually a retread from Survivor: Amazon episode 6, "More Than Meats the Eye." Back then it was raw meat hanging on a hook, piranhas get it. It was pretty disgusting then, this time they managed to make it more disgusting.

(Link courtesy of michel) http://www.funny115.com/v1/104.htm

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10-15-11, 07:18 AM (EST)
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67. "RE: Week 5"
I remember it from Amazon, and I don't remember it being anywhere near this gross.

So they re-did this challenge, but without the possibility of anyone getting tagged in the head. CHalk up another GUFU.

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10-14-11, 09:38 AM (EST)
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61. "RE: Week 5"
Contestants - Jim, Cochran, Dawn: You had the numbers to blindside someone; why not go ahead and vote out Ozzy while he wasn't expecting anything? Now? he's onto you.
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10-14-11, 02:07 PM (EST)
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64. "RE: Week 5"
Jim's feelings were hurted coz Elyse liked Ozzy instead of him. That reminds me

Contestant Gufu: Elyse. Her description at Tribal of the perfectest survivor ever!... way to pull one out of the beauty queen playbook but WRONG! Very prejudiced.

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10-15-11, 01:22 AM (EST)
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65. "RE: Week 5"
I want to know Colonel Zoidberg's law school nickname.


Agman Rocks!

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10-15-11, 07:16 AM (EST)
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66. "RE: Week 5"
It's Gunner.
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iltarion 1791 desperate attention whore postings
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10-15-11, 02:03 PM (EST)
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68. "RE: Week 5"

Keith and Whitney - For one of the stupidest moves we've seen in recent seasons, I can envision NO way in which this works out. Now Jim can think about breaking you two up, if he so wishes.

Jim - Only a slightly more stupid move for them than for Jimbo. Sure, he gains temporary control of the game, but you might have just doomed your own tribe in doing so. And Keith and Whitney can still choose to get you out by simply not telling you Ozzy has the idol.

Ozzy - For somewhat deserving Elyse's ouster. Way to get arrogant and lazy.

Cochran - When you try too hard, you can put your foot in it.

Stacey- For exactly vindicating Upolu's decision to get rid of you.

Production - SERIOUSLY?? That was disgusting. Really. I stopped watching 10 seconds into it.

>

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10-20-11, 00:26 AM (EST)
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69. "Week 6"
Hey, Rick finally woke up!

Contestant Gufu: Mikayla. What was the deal with the one-handed coconut shots?

Contestant Gufu: Coach. Seriously, don't go claiming to be wearing the coach hat if you don't talk the coach talk. Tell her to use both hands, tell her to sit out. A real coach knows a player with the fire will always say "I'm getting it, I can do it!" A real coach coaches, no nambypamby wishywashy. It's a wonder you lasted over a decade as a coach.

Contestant Gufu: Albert. Honestly, the argument for getting rid of the #6 is the same argument for getting rid of the other #6. Good job in the challenge, though.

Contesatant Gufu: Ozzy. Yeah, it was a hissyfit.

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10-20-11, 06:53 AM (EST)
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70. "RE: Week 6"
Good morning, Gufuland!

Ozzy: Way to take any goodwill you had and flush it down the toilet. Good thing you know a good plumber because you seem to have gotten a chunk of it back.

Mikayla: The definition of insanity is doing the same thing the same way and expecting a different outcome. Also, if someone repeatedly tells you to stop firing coconuts, maybe it's time to listen. Especially if that someone is in control of the tribe. Look what happened to Semhar when she tried to do things and failed miserably.

Brandon: Please take something for your mouth-diarrhea already; it's getting old watching you spew crap out of your mouth.

Production: So Elyse doesn't get a shot to tie the match? And if she was aware of this fact, transfer the Gufu to Elyse for letting Christine go first.

Cable company: The caption for this episode said someone would consider leaving the competition. I don't think Brandon's random "Vote me off now!" comment counts, considering it comes from someone with the mental maturity somewhere between a brain-dead snapping turtle and NaOnka.

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KObrien_fan 8360 desperate attention whore postings
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10-20-11, 07:23 AM (EST)
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71. "RE: Week 6"
Production: So Elyse doesn't get a shot to tie the match? And if she was aware of this fact, transfer the Gufu to Elyse for letting Christine go first.

I couldn't agree more!!!


I'm not sure who came first hosting games, you or Tribe, but you are both nefarious! - CTGirl

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suzzee 5961 desperate attention whore postings
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10-20-11, 10:46 AM (EST)
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72. "RE: Week 6"
Cable company: The caption for this episode said someone would consider leaving the competition.

That tidbit came from Ozzy in the next weeks pre-view segment. Your cable company probably cut you off. Still I don't count the pre-view as "this" episode so the Gufu is valid IMO.


A Tribe masterpiece


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10-20-11, 01:54 PM (EST)
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73. "RE: Week 6"
LAST EDITED ON 10-20-11 AT 01:54 PM (EST)

Brandon: Please take something for your mouth-diarrhea already; it's getting old watching you spew crap out of your mouth.

No kidding. "I'd rather lose this game than..." and "vote me off now" and such, I hope they grant him his wish soon, I am tired of the Brandon show.

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10-20-11, 07:06 PM (EST)
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74. "RE: Week 6"
Contestant Gufu #1: Mikayla. Next time, please listen to someone when they tell you to use a better technique! I don't blame you for not wanting to switch out, however.

Contestant Gufu #2: Ozzy. Idiot.

Contestant Gufu #3: Brandon. This is why Coach won't trust you with the knowledge that he has the Hidden Immunity Idol!


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iltarion 1791 desperate attention whore postings
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10-20-11, 07:42 PM (EST)
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75. "RE: Week 6"

Production Gufu: First and foremost, for Elyse not getting a turn after Christine took hers. WTF?

Ozzy: Your pathos is understandable, but first your pouting and then your quick reconciliation were equally pathetic.

Mikayla: The one-handed crap wasn't working. Even JP was calling it out, and yet you kept doing it. Then, you expected to stay??

Albert and Sophie: Way to show solidarity. Idiots.


>

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Molaholic 9015 desperate attention whore postings
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10-21-11, 11:03 PM (EST)
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76. "RE: Week 6"
Contestant: Coach -- coaching isn't just yelling at players. There's teaching involved.

Contestant: Ozzy -- just STFU.

Gufu Writers: Jiffy gave the rules -- first to knock all the opponent's pucks off wins. Nobody said anything about having an extra turn.



Merci, Pepe for the siggies

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10-22-11, 05:03 PM (EST)
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77. "RE: Week 6"

I believe the expectation of fairness is implicit. Elyse didn't deserve an extra turn, only the same number of turns as her opponent.

Why give Elyse the option of going first or not? By going second, she may have believed she would get "last raps."

>

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suzzee 5961 desperate attention whore postings
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10-24-11, 09:10 AM (EST)
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78. "RE: Week 6"
It just kept her from knocking her other puck off.


Your Low Rent Island Getaway


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Colonel Zoidberg 3662 desperate attention whore postings
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10-27-11, 00:33 AM (EST)
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79. "Week 7"
First up...Ozzy. The hell is wrong with you? Let me see if I have this straight - you have a plan. The conditions are right for your plan to be executed. Except, suddenly, you're pissed at Cochran and want him gone. Except then you have a dream and decide it should be you. So essentially, you decide to employ what we Big Brother viewers refer to as "the Lawon strategy." Except for this much - it didn't work for Lawon, Christine's on a hot streak, and if she wins, she'll probably defect to the Oompaloompas for no other reason than that Edna lets Coach do her thinking for her and it beats a 6-6 tie. The Kawaii tribe's only hopes: Ozzy wins, Cochran turns into a super-genius, or the Oompaloompas pick themselves apart. Any of those could happen. But the last two people to be returned from Redemption lasted all of one TC. I have this to say to Ozzy - you had better know what the hell you're doing.

Not sure where I'm going with this one: All the God business on the Oompaloompa tribe. I haven't seen that much showy religious mumbo jumbo since the GOP candidates got into it over Mitt Romney's faith. Somehow I get the feeling that it's all coming back to bite them in the collective hiney.

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dabo 26942 desperate attention whore postings
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10-27-11, 00:41 AM (EST)
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81. "Agree"
See post #80 for my disgust at the religious abuse.
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dabo 26942 desperate attention whore postings
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10-27-11, 00:39 AM (EST)
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80. "Week 7"
Contestant Gufu: Coach! Am I going to have to reinstate the Coach Gufus? Seriously, I know there are many different religious traditions and I cannot expect people of different religious traditions than the humble anabaptist tradition of my rearing to comport themselves as I would. But these ostentatious displays of holiness are going too far! God doesn't pick sides in sporting events and game shows, though I can overlook that because communal prayer does have an upside, it helps develop a sense of community and common purpose. And maybe it helps calm Brandon's troubled peabrain. But using prayer to help you snooker Brandon, Edna and Rick about the HII (ironically, especially in the case of Brandon, it worked), Sophie recognized that that was just wrong. Then turning into a cult leader after the challenge victory, directing your cult to kneel and display their holiness to lord it over the defeated Savaii, that's just rot in hell going over to the darkside evil nonsense. Ostentatiousness, ostentatiousness!

Contestant Gufu: Brandon. HaHa, you fell for it!

Contestant Gufu: Ozzy. Yeah, great plan. Bad idea, though, explaining it to Cochran way ahead of the challenge, the last guy you wanted to go into any team challenge thinking he had a safety net. (Please let it be a faux merge, please let it be a faux merge, please let it be a faux merge.)

Tribe Gufu: Savaii. Come on, none of you actually believed for a single nanosecond that Cochran could go to RI and win his way back into the game, that would only happen through catching a very lucky break.

Production Gufu! An Adam Sandler movie? A comedy is a good reward, yes, but honestly an Adam Sandler movie. The one with the remote control thing, I grant you, that was a good film, but most of his stuff is juvenile nonsense. This is really just blatant product placement, of course.

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suzzee 5961 desperate attention whore postings
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10-27-11, 07:54 AM (EST)
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82. "RE: Week 7"
Upolu: ON YOU KNEES! Now go over there and bow to the great and powerful Cochran, giver of challenge wins. Once again we are beat over the head with Coach and his over-the-topness.

Production/editing: Not the superimposed sun over the dragon slayer shot again. Really?


I miss Lodge Life

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jbug 17146 desperate attention whore postings
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10-27-11, 11:16 AM (EST)
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83. "RE: Week 7"
I'll just amen agree with Dabo about Coach.

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Belle Book 3613 desperate attention whore postings
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10-27-11, 05:07 PM (EST)
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84. "RE: Week 7"
I'd also add a gufu to Cochran for screwing up the challenge.


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dabo 26942 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-11, 01:12 PM (EST)
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85. "Week 8"
Looks like I won't be able to watch this episode until tomorrow, so don't wait for me to post (you know you don't have to anyway), just wait until after midnight (Eastern) and go go gufu!
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Colonel Zoidberg 3662 desperate attention whore postings
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11-03-11, 00:37 AM (EST)
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86. "RE: Week 8"
Let's start with the obvious...

Cochran: Don't overplay your hand. Rather than take what was probably really, really good odds of staying (85.7% to stay and 71.4% that an Oompaloompa goes home) you decided to flip. Not only that, you revealed it right away, and now, your tribe hates you and the other tribe probably doesn't trust you. So in short, that was a bad idea.

Ozzy: Step one was to get yourself voted out. Check. Step two was to win the duel. Check with flying colors. Step three was to sell the Oompaloompas a line of BS about Cochran whipping out the idol. Check. One slight problem - what you were selling, the Oompaloompas weren't buying. Here's a tip - the last guy to leave that little to the imagination and win was Richard Hatch.

Dawn: Either flip or don't. Because you got Cochran rolling, and that's a hard train to stop.

Production: Here's an idea - rather than splitting immunity based on gender, why not just draw up challenges that are a little more gender-balanced? Because I refuse to believe that this season's crop of females is that dreadful across the board in challenges.

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suzzee 5961 desperate attention whore postings
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11-03-11, 07:58 AM (EST)
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87. "RE: Week 8"
Old Savaii: For not remembering (Jim since he noted that angle before) that Upoulu would target the strongest challenge threat, Keith since Ozzy had immunity, and giving Keith the HII. No revote, no rock, no problem.


A Tribe masterpiece


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Belle Book 3613 desperate attention whore postings
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11-03-11, 10:52 AM (EST)
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88. "RE: Week 8"
I've got several gufus here:

Gufu #1: Ozzy for being the worst actor in the world. I mean, who did he think he was fooling with that overacting?

Gufu #2: Old Savaii for making Cochran feel vulnerable to flipping when they made it clear he was on the outs.

Gufu #3: Cochran for flipping. He's only going to get 7th now, most likely -- maybe even 8th. To be fair to him, however, he might've gone out in that position even if he'd stayed with Savaii.


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Dakota 5819 desperate attention whore postings
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11-03-11, 06:15 PM (EST)
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89. "RE: Week 8"
Ozzy: Overacting
Cockroach: for being a creepy student of Survivor and flipping
Dawn: Crying and whimpering and mothering Cockroach


This isn't Whitney Duncan, but she's blonde and it's my new favorite song: Sunny Sweeney, I'm Gonnna Drink Myself Single Tonight

Tribe's Creativity Overflowing

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iltarion 1791 desperate attention whore postings
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11-03-11, 10:02 PM (EST)
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90. "RE: Week 8"
Holy crop, is there a GUFU limit? Because this episode just broke it.


OZZY - SERIOUSLY? HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Seriously? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! No wait, I have something else to say... REALLY?? HAHAHAHAAHA!!!! COME ON, MAN!!!!!!!

Hey, here's an idea, why not give Cochran the HII?? OOPS!!!

JIMBO - Dude, how is that boot of Elyse looking now? How is your "Survivor move" looking now? She would never have flipped. Of course, you would have won that last challenge with her and wouldn't have been in that situation in the first place, but that's another point.

Keith and Whitney - Same as Jimbo. At least we know why Jimbo wanted to boot Elyse- jealousy, but does anyone know why these two agreed to it? You made your bed, now lie in it.

Dawn - Way to flip from crying over not defending Cochran to throwing him to the wolves as soon as immunity got around your neck. Sweet.

Cochran - Is math taught at Harvard? A 20% chance at picking the rock is way better than a 1% chance to win after you have betrayed 5 members of the jury. I dig it though. Good work.

Production - For forcing us to watch Cochran and Dawn the entire episode.


>

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dabo 26942 desperate attention whore postings
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11-10-11, 00:24 AM (EST)
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91. "Week 9"
Haven't been able to watch the episode yet, so go ahead with the gufus in a bit. (My son won an outstanding instrumentalist award tonight, yay. Band thing, decided by vote of the band members themselves, so it really means a lot.)
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Das Mole 2366 desperate attention whore postings
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11-10-11, 04:28 AM (EST)
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92. "RE: Week 9"
1. Brandon for having the thought process and logical skill of a turd. The second he started lipping off to Dawn at TC I was like

Which leads me to...

2. Dawn for being overly friendly and needy. Who does she think she is? Edna?

3. Keith for appearing for two seconds and still having Taylor Armstrong lips.

4. Coach for existing.

Production - Not showing Albert on screen enough. I need that eye candy, helloooooo.

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Molaholic 9015 desperate attention whore postings
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11-10-11, 10:58 AM (EST)
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93. "RE: Week 9"
Who else finds this

just a wee bit creepy?

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agman 11166 desperate attention whore postings
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11-10-11, 11:06 AM (EST)
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94. "RE: Week 9"

*raises hand


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jbug 17146 desperate attention whore postings
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11-10-11, 11:20 AM (EST)
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95. "LOL"
Brandon? is that you?

I laugh every time Lil'Hantz raises his hand during TC.
Like he's still in school.

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agman 11166 desperate attention whore postings
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11-10-11, 12:04 PM (EST)
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97. "RE: LOL"

He Is still in school as far as I'm concerned. I think this bipolar idiot is an embarassment to the hantz family. Having said that though, he along with Coch have put themselves in postion to go really far into this game, because anyone (even coach) who goes up against them in the final will win.

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Belle Book 3613 desperate attention whore postings
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11-10-11, 11:49 AM (EST)
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96. "RE: Week 9"
Agree with you on Brandon and Dawn getting Gufus, in Dawn's case since she caused Albert some nervous moments. Not so sure on the Gufu for Coach for even existing. He's been nicer this season, though he still has his moments. This wasn't really one of them.


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qwertypie 9776 desperate attention whore postings
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11-10-11, 08:55 PM (EST)
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98. "RE: Week 9"
I'm just worried because Coach often makes sense this season. It's scaring me.
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agman 11166 desperate attention whore postings
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11-10-11, 09:07 PM (EST)
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100. "RE: Week 9"

I am sooooo glad to hear someone else besides me feels that way!



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Colonel Zoidberg 3662 desperate attention whore postings
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11-10-11, 09:01 PM (EST)
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99. "RE: Week 9"
Let's start with...

This week's "The hell is wrong with you?" award - goes to Jim. Lemme get this straight - you giving immunity to Ozzy would accomplish what exactly? And you discussing it accomplished...what exactly?

Oompaloompas - for playing a bit of a risky game. Sure, it's fine if the final 3 is either all Oompaloompas or it's two of you and one of Cochran, because then the Kawaii majority on the jury is stuck with choices less appealing than a typical race for governor of Ohio. But let's just say hypothetically that Ozzy - who's kinda-sorta known for crap like this - whips off a winning streak in duels - and by the way, even if he has an off day, the only duel he actually has to win is the last one, considering that, postmerge, RI adopts the TAR rule of "just don't finish last and we'll all get along" - and gets back in the game. At F5. And has to put together a winning streak of a number larger than most Oompaloompas can comprehend - two. So now, all of a sudden, the final vote is Ozzy against two Oompaloompas - and a Kawaii majority on the jury. And considering Rick's probably just a cardboard cutout anyway, production will just have some dude with a moustache stand in for him anyway and vote Ozzy the win, even if Cochran can't be bothered to cast a vote Ozzy's direction. My point? Oompaloompas - it's not necessary to be such dicks.

Production - honestly, when was the last time we had a tribe this unlikeable? Thailand, maybe? Africa? Seriously - all the people who weren't intolerable jerks got voted out of the Oompaloompas pre-merge - Christine, who spoke her mind; Stacey, who probably would have called Coach "Benjamin" to his face, since I assume "hypocritical, arrogant blowhard" is too long and most of her tribe wouldn't know what any of those words mean except Edna and Coach, and Mikayla, who was entertaining just for the fact that she annoyed Brandon - and we're stuck with this pile of crap. Coach, a retread who's as worn-thin as Brandon's uncle; Edna, who might be as socially awkward as Cochran; Albert, who's probably an intelligent human being in real life but seems to have loaned his brain to Coach for the duration of the game, surviving on discarded brain slugs he uses to power his feeble thoughts; Rick and Sophie, who are allegedly on the show; and Brandon, who is all the annoying, bullying misogynistic dirtbagness of Russell with none of the entertainment value. Six poop-throwing monkeys would be a relief over these bozos. Six poop-throwing monkeys would, at least, only eject crap from their hands and their hind quarters, as opposed to their mouths like these dipwads. I'm not wild about the idea of Season 24 being another all-star season, but if it means we don't scrape the bottom of the barrel we got the Oompaloompas out of, I'm all for it.

Zoidberg gufu: I stayed up past one in the damn morning watching this on DVR instead of doing something more productive, like lighting my moustache on fire.

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Belle Book 3613 desperate attention whore postings
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11-10-11, 09:15 PM (EST)
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101. "RE: Week 9"
*sarcasm alert*

Gee, why don't you let us know how you feel about Upolu, huh?


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jbug 17146 desperate attention whore postings
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11-11-11, 10:29 AM (EST)
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102. "RE: Week 9"
~~blink blink~~ you have a mustache?

Sooooooooo agree with you; no need to be complete arrogant asses and rub it in their faces. Coach's smirky grins are stoopid.

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dabo 26942 desperate attention whore postings
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11-15-11, 10:40 AM (EST)
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114. "Just FYI"
There is a thread on Spoilers (don't go if you don't wanna know) about S24.

"If all machines were to be annihilated at one moment, so that not a knife nor lever nor rag of clothing nor anything whatsoever were left to man but his bare body alone that he was born with, and if all knowledge of mechanical laws were taken from him so that he could make no more machines, and all machine-made food destroyed so that the race of man should be left as it were naked upon a desert island, we should become extinct in six weeks." (Samuel Butler, "Erewhon")

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dabo 26942 desperate attention whore postings
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11-11-11, 11:18 AM (EST)
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103. "RE: Week 9"
Contestant Gufu: Brandon. Just about the dumbest BS artist ever, horrible jury management.

Contestant Gufu: Coach. Those indulgent Coach 1.0 things, like waving bye-bye at Tribal, if he keeps that sort of thing up in front of attending jury members they will realize he's just the same old Coach of old.

Contestant Gufu: Jim. Man, it was the time to aim big not small, wasting energy on Cochran and Edna boot plans, please. Admire that he kept trying to play but he should have gone after Coach with HII, or make-noise Brandon, at least he'd have gone down doing as much damage as possible.

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Dakota 5819 desperate attention whore postings
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11-11-11, 01:11 PM (EST)
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104. "RE: Week 9"
First, let me congratulate Dabo's son. What instrument?

Second, let me congratulate the Colonel for a post worthy of a Survivor Episode Summary or Kingfish, whichever you find more flattering.

Third, let me congratulate Whitney for having her back to the wall and winning immunity:

Right Road Now

Now for the GUFUs

Brandon: "us little guys" or something like that. Revenge of the Nerds Part Deux? I think it's been done already.

Dawn: Overplaying nice.

TeTuna or whatever: Being sucked in by Coach's family thang, while he whispers softly during Tai Chi "confident, not arrogant".

Cochroach: For being there. I'm tired of putting this under "Production".

Production: A. I don't like spitting challenges. These people fall all over themselves to lose their dignity in front of millions, don't make it worse. B. For giving us very few likeable souls this season.


Tribe's Creativity Overflowing

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dabo 26942 desperate attention whore postings
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11-11-11, 02:03 PM (EST)
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105. "RE: Week 9"
Sax is his axe. He also plays clarinet, and studies piano and organ, is thinking about going into music education.

Yeah on another Production gufu. Two puking immunities is about a dozen too many for one season.

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iltarion 1791 desperate attention whore postings
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11-11-11, 11:59 PM (EST)
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106. "RE: Week 9"
Jimbo- for letting his mouth write checks his @ss couldn't cash. And, go after Edna? Hahaha... How bold!!

Cochran - For talking to everyone on Savii immediately after betraying them. They might be a little put out.

Dawn - Do these people watch Survivor? Contestants are jaded now. Being overly nice just puts a target on your back. Plus, you put your foot in it at TC, and Brandon caught you. Be more careful.

Albert - For disclosing plans that are never acted upon. Everyone in his alliance knows he is thinking too much.


the biggest GUFU- the Colonel- for going on for a paragraph about Ozzy's challenge ability, which Upolu has no control over, only apparently to make the point that Upolu should be nicer. Strange because I just watched the episode twice, and I didn't see a single instance of Upolu not being nice, other than Brandon at TC, but hey, that's Brandon.

How long has it been since we had a tribe this unlikeable? Well, how about just 3 seasons ago? The tribe with Brenda, Na'onka, Chase and the guy with amazingly white teeth was WAY more unlikeable than Upolu.

Upolu voted off the interesting or decent people? Christine?? Stacy?? Mikayla?? Hahaha... What?

I am totally digging Coach this season, and I am even starting to warm to Brandon, who was great this episode.

>

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Colonel Zoidberg 3662 desperate attention whore postings
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11-12-11, 10:05 AM (EST)
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107. "RE: Week 9"
the biggest GUFU- the Colonel- for going on for a paragraph about Ozzy's challenge ability, which Upolu has no control over, only apparently to make the point that Upolu should be nicer. Strange because I just watched the episode twice, and I didn't see a single instance of Upolu not being nice, other than Brandon at TC, but hey, that's Brandon.

You miss my point entirely. Now that everyone on the blue tribe, which I refuse to call by its correct name because I'm a contrarian, who exactly is going to beat any of Ozzy's old tribemates in a final vote at this point, Cochran notwithstanding? If the chips fall as I described above - two Oompaloompas and Ozzy - all Ozzy needs is five votes and he wraps it up like a Christmas present. Where can he get five votes? His old tribe. And while Cochran may not be wild about voting for, say, Keith or the creepy drug dealer in the final vote, he may very well respect Ozzy enough to write down his name.

The point? Coach and his boys and girls need to find a way to ensure that they have at least a couple of potential Kawaii votes at the end. Saying "We love Cochran and screw the rest of you," which seemed to be the message they were sending, won't cut it.

And yes, Coach and Brandon are spear-heading it. But not one of the rest of the tribe is saying anything about it. Last season, everyone appeared controlled by Boston Rob. This season, it looks as if Coach is doing the same thing. Good for Coach, maybe - unless the jury has an alternative who wasn't a former Oompaloompa. And my other point? The possibility of needing a few Kawaii votes is very possible because Ozzy's that damn good in challenges.

If Coach and his gang think they're so good at this game that they can rub their success in their rivals' faces, they need to think ahead in case things go wrong. I just don't see any foresight out of that group.

How long has it been since we had a tribe this unlikeable? Well, how about just 3 seasons ago? The tribe with Brenda, Na'onka, Chase and the guy with amazingly white teeth was WAY more unlikeable than Upolu.

The key difference there, and I blame production more than anything, is that the tribes got mixed up and tribal lines were a bit more blurred in that season. Also, it seemed like that season was more marred by blatant production idiocy (the Medallion of Power was the stupidest thing ever, and the casting of two people who quit on Day 28?) whereas this season is more about production laziness (hey, it worked last season; let's do the same thing again and have them see it coming.)

Also, that season ended up being won by Fabio, to point out how completely off-the-wall it was. This season? I doubt we'll have a winner even as remotely entertaining as Fabio unless it's Coach, and he's turned into kind of a d-bag anyway.

Upolu voted off the interesting or decent people? Christine?? Stacy?? Mikayla?? Hahaha... What?

Christine and Stacey were about the only people on the tribe who bothered to have an opinion different from the group. Mikayla might have lasted if she had followed instructions. And honestly, who out of this remaining tribe of nitwits can claim to have their own opinion separate from the Borg? Coach the Cult Leader? Brandon the Bully? Edna the Socially Clueless, who just goes along as a yes-person because she knows she's next if it comes down to it? Albert, who makes all these plans for no one? Sophie, who appears on screen for challenges and votes and not much else? Rick, the cardboard cutout with a moustache?

That's the other thing. I forget whose interview it was, but someone pointed out that Rick isn't gettign a visible edit because he really doesn't do anything, not because he's overshadowed. If he quits on Day 28, he'll be Purple Kelly with a cowboy hat.

I am totally digging Coach this season, and I am even starting to warm to Brandon, who was great this episode.

I found Coach more entertaining in previous seasons, mainly Tocantins and the beginning of Heroes vs. Villains when Tyson was still around. As for Brandon, he's still 100% repulsive to me. Maybe if it looked as if he had any gameplay at all, I would feel differently, but it looks like Coach is the only one with any game that's actually being used.

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Belle Book 3613 desperate attention whore postings
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11-12-11, 11:00 AM (EST)
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109. "RE: Week 9"
I think Albert and Sophie are thinking about the possibility at least in the next episode. Coach? He might just be thinking that if Ozzy returns to the game they can get him before the finals. I agree with you about Brandon, Edna and Rick, however.

I despised Na'Onka, which is more than I can say for anybody currently on Upolu, and that includes Coach!

I agree with you about Mikayla, however. She was nice enough that she could've lasted longer if she hadn't initially followed Albert's faulty instructions (as we later learned). But I have to disagree with you about Christine and Stacey. The key to Survivor is the social game and both of them failed in that part. After all, saying that Coach is just a "temporary player" isn't good for your social game.


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Colonel Zoidberg 3662 desperate attention whore postings
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11-12-11, 06:20 PM (EST)
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111. "RE: Week 9"
Albert and Sophie may be kicking around the idea of flipping, but it's unlikey and a little late for that. That is, unless they have a fifth - and Cochran ain't it. Coach has the numbers and the idol, thanks to a perfect storm of Ozzy taking a clculated risk and Cochran opting not to do so.

I despise Brandon far more than anyone from any of the past few seasons, quitters notwithstanding. Frankly, factoring out quitters, the only other person I can honestly say I despised from the past three seasons would be Marty. That's counting Phillip and NaOnka. NaOnka shaped up to be the female Russell Hantz until she decided that 28 days was enough - not entirely sure what the hell happened there, but regardless, she's still the second-lamest person on her season, behind Purple Kelly. As for Phillip...he must have done something right out there during the other half of the time we weren't shown.

Frankly, the cast of Survivor: Nicaragua was pretty crappy all-around. Even Jane proved to be a temper-tantrum-throwing little turd at the end. So all the stupid people in that cast kind of seemed less stupid by comparison.

Coach? At least he has entertainment value. But I just don't like the guy.

Christine and Stacey could have done a lot better in the social game part - but Christine won five duels in a row, proving she was a force to be reckoned with, and Stacey, perhaps to her detriment, spoke her mind. Yes, that means she sucks at Survivor. But I'd rather listen to her be a loose cannon than listen to Edna be a socially awkward yes-person. Too bad socially awkward yes-people tend to do better.

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iltarion 1791 desperate attention whore postings
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11-13-11, 10:56 PM (EST)
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112. "RE: Week 9"
Three Upolu's make the Finals and the whole Ozzy argument becomes null and void.

Coach WAS more entertaining in prior seasons. He was also more of a character. This season he is less interested in being good TV and more interested in actually playing well. As we saw this last episode, he is still some good TV.

The Upolus are positively generous hosts in comparison to Rob's Third Reich approach to the merge last season. They cheered on Whitney and Dawn during the challenge. Dawn has had no problem nearly integrating into the tribe.

Jim felt comfortable enough with Albert and Sophie to make them a proposal, and he had practically positive things to say about Upolu during TC.

The only time Savii has been "villified" is when they have attacked Cochran and tried to get Upolu to turn against him. Upolu has responded by saying, "You didn't treat him well enough to expect him to stay with you."

That is frustrating for Savii, especially because trying to convince Upolu of anything is like trying to beat a brick wall down with your forehead.

Members of Upolu could very well be trying to make inroads to sow votes with Savii, but the editing hasn't bothered to show them. On the other hand, the editing hasn't shown any vindictive acts by Upolu towards Savii either.

Albert, Sophie, and Brandon have all had their moments where they disagreed with Coach. Characterizing them as just blindly following Coach is completely inaccurate.

Brandon isn't mean. In fact, he is well-meaning. He is just misguided at times. I'll take him over a bonafide mean person anytime.

It seems obvious that your entire judgement of whether someone is interesting or not depends on whether they've talked badly of Coach. Though Stacey was dull as dirt and Christine was painfully socially awkward, they spoke ill of Coach and therefore were interesting. Simple.


>

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Belle Book 3613 desperate attention whore postings
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11-14-11, 12:35 PM (EST)
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113. "RE: Week 9"
I have to agree with you. Colonel Zoidberg doesn't like Coach and thus fails to see that Coach is trying to play well, not just be a character and basically a joke.

And btw, Upolu is right in saying that Savaii didn't treat him well enough that he could reasonably be expected to stay with them. If they had understood it, they wouldn't be in the mess they're in now.


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Dakota 5819 desperate attention whore postings
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11-12-11, 10:56 AM (EST)
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108. "RE: Week 9"
>Sax is his axe. He
>also plays clarinet, and studies
>piano and organ, is thinking
>about going into music education.
>
Kenny G Songbird

David Sanborn Chicago Song

Congrats again to Dabo, Jr.

Tribe's Creativity Overflowing

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dabo 26942 desperate attention whore postings
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11-12-11, 12:53 PM (EST)
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110. "RE: Week 9"
He's a good kid and seems fully committed to music as his life. It's his langauge, I get it, and I fully support him in his decisions. All I ask, really, is take the business classes seriously as well, because that's how things work in the real world, he needs to be well grounded.

Man, though, the way he takes a sax solo, he's got it. He's a star!

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michel 10958 desperate attention whore postings
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11-16-11, 07:01 PM (EST)
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115. "RE: Week 9"
Yes, congrats to Dabo Jr.

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michel 10958 desperate attention whore postings
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11-16-11, 07:05 PM (EST)
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116. "RE: Week 9"
Production Gufu: We are down to the final 10 and there are 5 DAWS that hardly got attention: We know nothing of Rick, Whitney and Edna and almost nothing of Albert and Sophie.
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agman 11166 desperate attention whore postings
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11-17-11, 11:03 AM (EST)
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119. "RE: Week 9"
Especially Edna!


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Draco Malfoy 10525 desperate attention whore postings
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11-18-11, 10:01 PM (EST)
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122. "RE: Week 9"
I think we learned more about Whitney during the pre-show commercials than we have in the entire season.

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dabo 26942 desperate attention whore postings
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11-17-11, 01:10 AM (EST)
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117. "Week 10"
Contestant Gufu: Coach. Get Edna out of your #####!

Contestant Gufu: Whitney. Well, now we know why she was invisibled in the edit, she says the most disgusting things.

Contestant Gufu: Brandon. Yeah, that's right, don't talk to those people. Dummy.

Contestant Gufu: Sophie. Quit holding Albert back!

Contestant Gufu: Albert. Edna can't vote for Coach to win if he's sitting on the jury, and you do remember that he's got the HII don't you!

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Das Mole 2366 desperate attention whore postings
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11-17-11, 03:15 AM (EST)
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118. "RE: Week 10"
Contestant Gufus:

Top Gufu again goes to Mr. Hantz, this time for not knowing that "Don" is a boy's name and that "Dawn" would be the correct spelling.

Rick, Edna, and still Brandon - Continuing to be boring sheep.

Albert + Sophie, maybe Cochran to an extent - Should've jumped ship and "seized the moment" as JP likes to say.

Production Gufu:

Thanks for wasting time letting Ozzy get his facetime on RI and then having him repeat exactly what he said in that chunk of airtime again at the duel/trio-battle/clusterf***/whatever you wanna call it. Did I ask you to show me Ozzy? Do I look like I care?

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Dakota 5819 desperate attention whore postings
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11-17-11, 07:58 PM (EST)
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120. "RE: Week 10"
Production: This was the time for the boot-order challenge. Get out the hatchets, dernit! That would have made the two TCs more interesting.

Anti-GUFU Notice: Dr. Edna, reigning Queen of Under-the-Radar Survivor, developed a cream called BareEase, launched in spring of 2010. It contains lidocaine and eases the sting of the dreaded bikini wax. According to a Chicago Tribune writer, it significantlky reduced the sting, but didn't eliminate it.
Chicago Tribune, Section 6, Sunday November 13, 2011.

Tribe's Creativity Overflowing

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Belle Book 3613 desperate attention whore postings
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11-17-11, 08:27 PM (EST)
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121. "RE: Week 10"
Contestant Gufu: Albert. That might not have been a good time to take out Edna. Besides, Dawn & Whitney were desperate. At least Sophie held you back.

Contestant Gufu: Brandon. You need to work on your spelling! And as I competed in a regional Spelling Bee, I should know.

Contestant Gufu: Whitney, for saying some disgusting things.


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Draco Malfoy 10525 desperate attention whore postings
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11-18-11, 10:04 PM (EST)
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123. "RE: Week 10"
Production Gufu: Two double eliminations in two straight weeks is a sign you have too many contestants and too many twists.

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agman 11166 desperate attention whore postings
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11-19-11, 02:32 AM (EST)
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124. "RE: Week 10"
LAST EDITED ON 11-19-11 AT 02:35 AM (EST)

Well you know survivor, there's never too much of anything! heh heh heh.


I love getting to the point


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Dakota 5819 desperate attention whore postings
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11-19-11, 06:49 PM (EST)
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125. "RE: Week 10"
Given the psychologically challenged nature of some of this season's contestants, I suspect the Quit Boat was sitting nearby idling. When nobody quit or got hurt, they had to throw in a coupla doubles.


Tribe's Creativity Overflowing

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iltarion 1791 desperate attention whore postings
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11-19-11, 11:59 PM (EST)
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126. "RE: Week 10"

I'm not effin around this time.

Gufu- South Pacific - Just because. If man were meant to live there, we wouldn't be warm blooded.

Gufu- Albert - Anyone know what kind of game this joker is playing? I don't think we've seen anyone with more talk and less bite. I don't know if it is gaining him votes or losing them.

Gufu - Upolus + Cochran for almost letting dimwit Whitney beat them at survival trivia.


>

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dabo 26942 desperate attention whore postings
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11-24-11, 02:03 AM (EST)
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127. "REcrap Week"
Contestant Gufu: Brandon. Losing a chicken is bad.
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suzzee 5961 desperate attention whore postings
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11-24-11, 01:03 PM (EST)
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128. "RE: REcrap Week"
Being is one is probably worse.


I miss Lodge Life


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dabo 26942 desperate attention whore postings
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12-01-11, 03:12 AM (EST)
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129. "Week 11"
Yow, lost my internet for a few hours there. Anyway...

Contestant Gufu: Edna. So, like three weeks ago (game-time) Brandum told you you were #6, this was a surprise to you?

Contestant Googoo: Cochran. Ha-Ha! That's what you get for believing in Coach. Seriously, though, telling a lie about your birthday, playing on the sympathies of others, in Survivor? Amazing he got this far.

Contestant Gufu: Prince Albert. Way to put out the fire and ruin the laundry.

Contestant Gufu: Brandum. Brain Hurts! What next, Ministry of Silly Walks?

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Belle Book 3613 desperate attention whore postings
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12-01-11, 11:57 AM (EST)
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130. "RE: Week 11"
Contestant Gufu: Edna. You should've done some more (or at least some better) work sooner or else you'd be in a better position.

Contestant Gufu #2: Prince Albert. You screwed up in camp big-time! You might have been a target if you hadn't won!

Contestant Gufu #3: Brandon. As usual.


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iltarion 1791 desperate attention whore postings
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12-03-11, 11:50 PM (EST)
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131. "RE: Week 11"

Contestant Gufu: Cochran- the Upolus owe you nothing. You were in 6th position and wanted to be relevant so you made a move. Trying to make the Upolus feel indebted to you might have just cost you votes.

Contestant: Princess Albert - HAHAHAHA... Idiot. I don't get it, man. Your entire game is a gufu. Your tribe is sending you a message, but you aint listening.

Contestant: Edna - I also don't get the sudden tears over being 6th. You've known that for weeks. I hope you're wrong though.

Contestant: Coach - When you are loyal to everyone, you are loyal to NO ONE.

>

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dabo 26942 desperate attention whore postings
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12-08-11, 02:11 AM (EST)
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132. "Week 12"
Contestant Gufu: Brandon. Had to brag.

Contestant Gufu: Coach. That deal with Ozzy could easily come back to haunt him and lose him the game.

Loved One Gufu: Sean. Least objectionable Hantz yet, I actually liked the guy. But no, it isn't in God's hands at Final, there's this thing called a jury.

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Dakota 5819 desperate attention whore postings
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12-08-11, 10:32 AM (EST)
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133. "RE: Week 12"
Brandon: Didn't duct tape his mouth shut. Again.

Edna: For going balistic and emotional over her spot in the boot order. She had some good points, but her tirades overpowered, I think.

Loved One Gufu: In spite of his deal with Coach, I'm not sure Ozzy made the best picks. We'll see.

Tribe's Creativity Overflowing

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agman 11166 desperate attention whore postings
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12-08-11, 10:48 AM (EST)
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134. "RE: Week 12"
>Loved One Gufu: Sean. Least
>objectionable Hantz yet, I actually
>liked the guy.


Maybe the least objectionable but, I notice he still had to run to coach to try and keep Brandon in the game. That was kinda lame. IT reminded me of when I used to coach waterpolo and you would get these dads running up to you before and after games telling you that you need to play their sons more often and when you need to play them. Blah


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Belle Book 3613 desperate attention whore postings
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12-08-11, 11:57 AM (EST)
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135. "RE: Week 12"
Contestant Gufu: Brandon. As usual.

Contestant Gufu: Coach -- unless his deal with Ozzy is merely a "just in case" thing.


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dabo 26942 desperate attention whore postings
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12-15-11, 02:00 AM (EST)
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136. "Week 13"
Contestant Gufu: Albert. Since michel doesn't post gufus often: What, he's scared of Sophie!

Contestant Gufu: Brandon. Whatcha talkin bout, Willis. I mean, really, where to begin?

Contestant Gufu: Coach. If they don't know how juries work (and they actually don't) then don't clue them in.

Production Gufu. Batman? That wasn't Batman, perfectly vertical walls now that's Batman.

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suzzee 5961 desperate attention whore postings
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12-15-11, 09:36 AM (EST)
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137. "RE: Week 13"
Coach: Did that voice you heard show any ID? I'd be suspicious.

Brandon: See above.



I miss Lodge Life

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agman 11166 desperate attention whore postings
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12-15-11, 10:36 AM (EST)
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138. "RE: Week 13"
Brandon....C'mon man you trust coach???????

Albert...For someone as smart and game saavy as you seem to think you are, can't you get your lies straight???

Coach....Are you sure someone in the production crew wasn't speaking to you?


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jbug 17146 desperate attention whore postings
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12-15-11, 04:43 PM (EST)
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140. "RE: Week 13"
Coach....Are you sure someone in the production crew wasn't speaking to you?

LOL Reminds me of an old Golden Girls ep when they were all trying to sleep in the same bed - the heat wasn't working;
anyway Rose had to say her prayers, and she is going on and on and on....
Finally, Dorothy speaks in a deep voice: "Rose, thank you for the lovely prayer....". It was hilarious!


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Belle Book 3613 desperate attention whore postings
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12-15-11, 11:55 AM (EST)
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139. "RE: Week 13"
Contestant Gufu: Albert. You shouldn't have tried to get rid of Sophie -- at least, not before trying to get rid of Coach by blindsiding him. Of course, he does have the idol.

Contestant Gufu: Brandon. For obvious reasons, some of which we saw tonight.


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Molaholic 9015 desperate attention whore postings
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12-15-11, 05:52 PM (EST)
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141. "RE: Week 13"
LAST EDITED ON 12-15-11 AT 05:53 PM (EST)

Production Gufu. Batman? That wasn't Batman, perfectly vertical walls now that's Batman.

Don't forget about having Jerry Lewis pop his head out of a window as they go by, citizen.

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Draco Malfoy 10525 desperate attention whore postings
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12-15-11, 09:56 PM (EST)
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142. "RE: Week 13"
Production gufu: Casting Rick. When you're down to final five-ish and *still* barely get any usable footage of a cast member? There were probably better options.

By this point, even inVeesible was getting confessionals.

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Colonel Zoidberg 3662 desperate attention whore postings
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12-17-11, 00:01 AM (EST)
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143. "RE: Week 13"
Arg...and we had to be stuck with these idiots instead of Ozzy's tribe.

Coach: Praying for Survivor advice is not going to get you far. God gave you the strategy for you to make some use of it. He's a busy God. He has to delegate. Some of His delegation involves giving you free will. Use it.

Rick: "Dumb move" doesn't make up for an entire season of being a cowboy hat and a moustache.

Albert: Not so smooth when the whole tribe turns against you, are you?

Sophie: Setting yourself up to be the next Edna, much?

Brandon: For being you.

Production: For casting Brandon.

Reproduction: Helicopter Dad for fathering Brandon.

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dabo 26942 desperate attention whore postings
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12-19-11, 02:06 AM (EST)
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144. "Finale"
Albert: Believed his own BS. Damn, that was funny.

Coach: Exactly how is less arrogance not still arrogance?

Edna: Ah, heck, she turned into a reasonable person on a jury loaded for bear. What she said was absolutely true, they all walked in day 1 knowing they were playing Survivor etc. Unfortunately, by not spitting fire she just blew her chances of being invited back for the next inevitable Returning Eyecandy Survivor.

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suzzee 5961 desperate attention whore postings
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12-19-11, 11:13 AM (EST)
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145. "RE: Finale"
RussHell. STFU, that is all.


A Tribe masterpiece


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iltarion 1791 desperate attention whore postings
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12-19-11, 09:31 PM (EST)
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146. "RE: Finale"

Player: Coach, for playing B-Rob's game from All-Stars without any of the positive things (challenge dominance, shelter building, providing food, oh, and getting some).

Player: Edna, for not making any damn sense during FTC. She looked good though.

Player: Sophie, for rambling on like an idiot at FTC.

Player: Albert, for needing Sophie to beat Ozzy, and for sitting there looking poleaxed at FTC.

Production: For casting this bunch.

Production: For a weak edit to go with the poor cast.

Production: For the idea of RI in the first place.


>

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