First off, let me say that Luna did a great job last week! I hope I can live up to her high standards!

Secondly, Foonermints asked a question that I also have…why do these apartments have the master bedroom as the room when you enter the front door? Would you buy one of these with the bed being the first thing seen when you walk through the door?

Checklist for things needed to watch episode 2 of The Complex:
Popcorn: check
Diet Dr. Pepper: check
Barf bag: check (for every time Sears is mentioned as a sponsor!)
Bricks: check (for throwing at the idiots better known as Rose and Barney)
Ear plugs: check (for inserting every time Rose opens her mouth)
Pom pom check (for cheering after the show goes off)

I want to start-off by saying that I wish I could switch and go immediately to the eviction ceremony but you all would have no idea what was going on! The eviction ceremony was the best vote-off, eviction, tribal council, let’s get rid of someone ceremonies ever on any reality show period! Just wait till we get there!

We begin with highlights from last week’s premiere and the rules are explained again. The couple that renovates the apartment that sells for a better profit percentage will win the profits on the sale of all 4 apartments. This is important, as we get deeper into the episode when DA1 and DA2 come up with a fool idea. (I will explain the DA1 and DA2 a little later and it is a fool idea not a foolproof idea!)

The couples are re-introduced and I will to in case someone needs to get caught up!

Steve and Nicole (upper complex) are the typical blonde couple and we haven’t seen much of them and their game plan. Maybe we will get to see more of them this week.

Scotty and Sam (upper complex) are the typical rednecks that do nothing but complain how stupid everyone is! NOTE TO SCOTT AND SAM: Have you ever considered looking in the mirror? I am afraid that they might find out that Sam is a closeted butch lesbian! Come on look at the hair guys.

Eric and Jayna (upper complex) are the young artistic couple. I sort of feel sorry for them because they have to endure the wrath of Sam!

Barney and Rose (lower complex) have to be the dumbest contestants on a reality show and almost as lazy as Osten! Their fashion sense is second to no one! Second to last that is! From this point on these two will be referred to as DA1 and DA2 (DA = dumba$$)!

Carl and Kim (lower complex) is a cute couple that is mortal enemies of DA1 and DA2. I think DA1 and DA2 don’t like them because they are a tad bit jealous.

Brad and Lew (lower complex) are the chosen gay couple that is really talented and very creative!

Dave and Ana (lower complex) is a cute couple that needs to separate themselves from DA1/DA2 before it is too late! URGH!

We’ve got mail! Both complexes find out that they are renovating the master bath! They will get $10,000 per room ($7,000 cash + $3,000 Sears gift card) plus the money left from the master bedroom renovation. They have 144 hours for this project! Will they make it on time? Will DA2 have time to work after smoking her cigs? Let’s find out!

Next step is to determine a project manager! Keep in mind; the project manager does not have a vote on who gets evicted. Upper complex talks Jayna into being the project manager (big mistake on her part) and she says that there is one condition. She says that everyone needs to listen to her and let her finish sentences because she doesn’t like being interrupted. She starts to say something else but Nicole interrupts. Nicole starts talking about getting a tile contractor! LMAO! NOTE TO JAYNA: Honey, you are not going to get a word in edge wise with Sam and Nicole on your team. Just keep your mouth shut and let them bury themselves!

The lower complex votes for Kim to be their project manager AGAIN: NOTE TO KIM: Didn’t you learn your lesson last week pumpkin? Run Kim run!

DA1 is shown in a confessional saying that Kim is an idiot for doing this again! This will be the one and only time I agree with him on anything DA1 says! However, DA1 is going to make a bigger idiot of himself than Kim ever could!

Upper complex decides to go with big tubs in their two apartments!

In apartment 3, Brad and Lew…hold on a sec…why is it spelled Lew and not Lou? I bet this is short for Lewis! Those gays are always thinking aren’t they! Ok, in apartment 3, Brad and Lew know of an online company that ships custom tiles overnight and they are going with tile. These boys came to win! Lew is going to build a vanity out of Oak wood!

Apartment 4 is discussing building their bathroom around the sink bowl. WTF? Kim walks in and asks if they are interested in using a steam shower. Well, this doesn’t make DA1/DA2 happy at all! DA1 in a confessional says that Kim is dictating to them what to do and she needs to keep her nose out of their business! He says that they have a beautiful home and have plenty of ideas. NOTE TO DA1: Dear bald headed idiot, Kim asked you a question and you were too stewpid to see it as such! It is her business to know what you are doing because she is on your team! Also, with the idea you come up with later truly shows me that you have no idea the meaning of TEAM!

*HURLS MY FIRST BRICK AT THE TV!*

Jayna is given responsibility of lining up a tile contractor and Sam asks her if the guy knew what he was talking about or would she know it if he was blowing smoke up her a$$! Jayna is not happy and they (Sam and Jayna) get into a shouting match! NOTE TO JAYNA: Dumpling, never, let me repeat that, NEVER get into a shouting match with a closeted short haired lesbian! That is an argument you can’t win!

In the lower complex, we have a meeting of the mindless (DA1/DA2 and Brad/Ana for those keeping score) and we see them complaining about Kim being gone. I have no idea why they are complaining because they don’t want her there and then complains when she is gone! WTF?

*HURLS BRICK #2 AT TV!*

MY EYES! MY EYES! We are shown DA1 and DA2 in bed. DA1 is in nothing but his boxers. EEEWWWWWWWWWW! DA1 comes up with the worst idea ever! He tells DA2 that they should sabotage the bathroom so their team loses because “they” have to be sent home! DA2 says that this is their last chance! Last chance? WTF? NOTE TO DA2: My little life shortened smoking darling, how can this be the last chance? You have 4 more rooms to renovate! Plenty of time left! Don’t show your game plan too soon…just ask Scott and Jase!

*HURLS BRICKS 3 and 4 AND TRIES TO HIT DA2’s MOUTH!*

I interrupt this summary to bring you the dumbest move in reality TV history! DA’s mindless thought of throwing this challenge has to the most self-serving piece of carp I have ever heard! 1) DA1/DA2 are idiots. 2) The lower complex has an advantage over the upper complex because there are 4 couples vs. 3 couples. The challenges are timed and the more hands the better. 3) DA1/DA2 are idiots. 4) The complexes are going to sell to give the winners the earnings as a prize. An unfinished room isn’t worth as much as a very well decorated room. 5) DA1/DA2 are idiots. 6) By sabotaging this room, the two teams are on equal footing as the other team! 7) DA1/DA2 are idiots.

I now return to the summary. Before DA1/DA2 meet with David and Ana to discuss losing this round, DA1 says that the idea came to him in his sleep! NOTE TO DA1: My fat dreaming buddy, may I suggest you don’t sleep any more until the competition is over! Adria having GOD direct her in the BB house got her evicted and your dreams are about to do the same for you!

David is all about doing absolutely nothing to the bathroom to ensure the loss. Ana agrees reluctantly!

David and Ana take the car to the beach. They sit on a bench and discuss the plan and how “the flames” (Brad and Lew) are going home. NOTE TO DAVID: Brad, my little “I don’t know anything about homosexuals” friend, “The flames” are no where being flamers and they are kicking you’re a$$ at this game! SHOW SOME RESPECT DOOD!

*BRICK #5 HITS THE SCREEN!*

$87.26 is the remaining budget for the upper complex. Scott and Sam go shopping and the blondes are arguing. I guess FOX is trying to show us conflict in the upper complex because there isn’t any scheming going on with them!

DA1/DA2 go shopping for the cheapest plastic vanity they can find! Kim goes to them to discuss the problems of this. They get into a shouting match and Kim runs out. DA1/DA2 are happy and laughing even though they are idiots.

Brad/Lew and Kim/Carl work almost all night tiling a wall. While everyone in apartment 4 sleeps! In the upper complex, Erik and Jayna work late while Scott/Sam sleep!

Tyler comes to give them their 24-hour warning. However, the project managers get to see the other bathrooms (the competition)! Kim sees bathroom #1 (Erik/Jayna and Scott/Sam’s room) and is very impressed by the work they have done. Apartment #2 (Steve/Nicole) has used cheap looking (Kim thinks) materials. Jayna goes to apartment 3 (Kim/Carl and Brad Lew’s room) and compliments them on the custom order tile! The tour of bathroom #4 (DA1/DA2 and David/Ana’s room) causes Jayna to say, “where’s the value?”

Jayna goes to her teammates and tells them that bathroom #3 will probably win. Well, this sends Sam into a tizzy (what doesn’t?)! Another shouting attack towards Jayna for her saying that their team is playing for second!

*BRICK #6 BOUNCES OFF SAM’ FOREHEAD WITH A THUD!*

Kim is getting nervous over the plastic vanity and she confronts the idiots once again. The four idiots tell her that if she changes anything they will stop working! WTF? They haven’t done anything but clean the bathroom!

Sam and Jayna have another shouting match about something! Man, this girl doesn’t learn…can you say slow boys and girls?

Feeling guilty, Ana goes to talk with Brad/Lew and Kim/Carl. They have a discussion and Ana is beginning to see that they have messed up the relationships of the team. But, she too is an idiot because she does nothing about it!

10 hours to go and everyone is shown scurrying around EXCEPT apartment 4. Ana was really clueless as to the extent of the plan. She thought they were going to finish but make it look cheap. David informs her that the plan is to NOT finish the room.

Kim/Carl and Brad/Lew go visit apartment 4 and see that the only thing that has been done is the installation of the plastic vanity! They realize that the other half of their “team” has sabotaged them! Brad goes off on them and calls them dishonest, two-faced, sleazy, disgusting low-life scum! DA1 comes rushing back with, “DITTO!” NOTE TO DA1: my little low life scum, take it easy on him, no need to use such harsh language!

*BRICK 7 IS THROWN IN DA1’s DIRECTION!*

DA1 tells the group from apartment 3 that they should wake-up because this is a game and this is their strategy! WTF? A strategy to lose money! A strategy to come in no better than fourth!

Apartment 3 peeps work all night on apartment 4 and get about half complete. They don’t even finish their own bathroom!

The air-horn sounds and everyone has to drop their tools (DA1 doesn’t have a tool…he is one!). Time for the judges!

Apartment 1: Used tan tile flooring and vanity top with a regular tub and white painted walls. It is a traditional style bath. I don’t like the look but I guess that is my opinion!

Apartment 2: Is not complete. They used a bigger tub, beige tile flooring, pedestal sink and a very pretty pastel green paint for the walls! I like this one much better than 1.

Apartment 3: Is not complete but is still beautiful! They went with hardwood flooring, a bowl mounted on top of the vanity that Lew built and is gorgeous! They went with a shower instead of a tub. Also, the custom tile is really pretty!

Apartment 4: Is 50% complete and to be honest, hard to tell what they were doing. They did get a better-looking vanity!

Off to the lumberyard for eviction! As the contestants enter the yard we get audio of David saying they are screwed if they don’t come in last or the week was wasted! NOTE TO DAVID my wasted little idiot, it was wasted no matter what happens and you have burned all bridges you have or could have had with this group.

Upper complex spent $7,685.38 and now have $2,786.69 left on apartment 1. Apartment 2 spent $7,394.91 with $3,602.23 remaining.

Lower complex spent $9,196.15 on apartment 3 leaving $2,861.10 to rollover. Apartment 4 spent $8,050.06 with $2,638.48 in the bank.

Upper complex voted for Erik/Jayna and lower complex voted for Kim/Carl. These two couples are up for eviction.

The apartment that increased the value the greatest will receive an extra $2,000 for the next renovation and the money goes to apartment 3 (Brad/Lew and Kim/Carl).

Before the eviction, each couple is given a moment to speak. Jayna speaks to her team and tells them that they are playing 6th grade games, lying and cheating!

*HURLS BICK 8 AT TV BECAUSE THAT IS PART OF THE GAME!*

Kim’s turn:

Kim: “I almost thought it wasn’t worth it, you guys weren’t worth it. I think America’s going to see you as the pieces of sh!t you really are!”

Ana: “We learn from the best.”

Kim: “Barney and Rose?”

Carl: “David and Ana, I really think you had our fate in your hands”

Kim: “If you think your going to get anywhere with Barney and Rose, that is really funny!”

Carl: “The only thing Rose can do is smoke!”

Ana: “The strategy was to get along with our team and the first thing you did was to strategize about voting people off!”

Kim: “No I didn’t, no I didn’t.”

Rose: “There she goes!”

Kim: “Just shut-up Rose!”

Ana: “We have loyalty which is something you know nothing about!”

Kim: “You wanna talk loyalty? You were playing both sides the whole time!”

Ana: “Because I am being a team player.”

Kim: “Team player? You didn’t do sh!t!”

Carl: “If Brad and Lew get screwed over this, it is a shame!”

Brad: “We just got on a team with real weak links.”

DA1 decides to flip birds at Brad/Lew and Carl/Kim!

WOW! Where were the men? The women did all the talking; DA1 and David didn’t say one word as they were being attacked!

*HURLED BRICK 9-15 DURING THIS SEGMENT OF THE SHOW!*

Tyler makes the announcement that the bathroom that added the least value is the bathroom in apartment 1! The look on the idiot’s faces is priceless!

The judges said that apartment 1 added such small value that they would have to take everything out and start all over!

Final twist from this episode…Carl/Kim will be moving to the upper complex to make the teams even!

Next week, I think MTW will bring you all the scheming and backstabbing!

Poor Brad and Lew…they are in trouble!

OH.THE.DRAMA!

Director of Public Relations for GAWKUR!
Off to buy more bricks for this week's episode!
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