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AMAI 1254 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson" 02-27-04, 12:03 PM (EST) "Tired of the Ian Bashing" LAST EDITED ON 02-27-04 AT 12:11 PM (EST) I am REALLY sick of all the Ian bashing. How would you Matt fans like it if every other thread around here was bashing Matt for the physical attributes that Ian fans find utterly horrible to look at? Or the aspects of his personality that make us retch? I'm supposed to be doing the Official Recap for the Finale, something I signed up for before the season began. Maybe I am just the wrong person to represent this board for this summary. My piece is almost ready for posting, but from what I'm reading here, I expect most of you won't even bother to read my work or to respond to it.   Top

Subject     Author     Message Date     ID    RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing Chrissy gal 02-27-04 1    RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing AMAI 02-27-04 6  I'm with you AMAI Tiggertramp 02-27-04 2    RE: I'm with you AMAI AMAI 02-27-04 7        RE: I'm with you AMAI Loree 02-27-04 13  RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing tig_ger 02-27-04 3    RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing AMAI 02-27-04 8  RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing teejax22 02-27-04 4    RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing AMAI 02-27-04 9  RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing AMAI 02-27-04 5    RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing csg2345 02-27-04 10        RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing teejax22 02-27-04 12        RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing cwft1014 02-27-04 21        RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing AMAI 02-28-04 24  RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing sisyphus 02-27-04 11    RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing AMAI 02-28-04 25  RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing hunterjax 02-27-04 14    RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing AMAI 02-28-04 26  RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing SilverStar 02-27-04 15    RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing minkey 02-27-04 16        RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing teejax22 02-27-04 17            RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing minkey 02-27-04 19        RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing AMAI 02-28-04 28    RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing AMAI 02-28-04 27  RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing qwertypie 02-27-04 18    RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing AMAI 02-28-04 29  RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing celula 02-27-04 20    RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing AMAI 02-28-04 30  RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing buckeyegirl 02-27-04 22    I like them both! Fraz 02-27-04 23    RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing AMAI 02-28-04 31

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Chrissy gal 1413 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson" 02-27-04, 12:39 PM (EST) 1. "RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing" AMAI, I think the producers of The Bachelor/Bachelorette series bring this on the people who participate in these shows. The producers are so dead set on making the Final Rose Ceremony shocking, that they don't show the audience the true connection between the Bachelor/Bachelorette and the final choice. I remember being so disgusted that Trista chose Ryan when she "clearly" had more chemistry with Charlie. I have since figured out that the footage that showed the chemistry between Ryan and Trista was left on the cutting room floor. This is a disservice to both the audience and the participants. I'm sure that there were many great moments between Ian and Meredith that we didn't get to see. Instead they showed Meredith telling Matt that since she met him, she would be honored to get a ring. That is just unfair to everyone involved!   Top

AMAI 1254 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson" 02-27-04, 01:41 PM (EST) 6. "RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing" Actually, I think they had to show us that part, about the ring, since it really affected poor Matt. What are needed are some changes, make the show able to respond to the developments between individual Bachelor/ettes and their final two or three.   Top

Tiggertramp 3141 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 02-27-04, 01:04 PM (EST) 2. "I'm with you AMAI" I'm with you. But then again, I am one of those people that just doesn't get those "Oh my GAWD! I can't TAKE IT!" histerical people who can only bash every thing they see. I mean really grow up. I mean I am all for bashing here and there. I mean really, let's look at how Meredith dresses, that is totally worth bashing. It is ALL in the editting. Well, and the fact that Meredith did make a huge mistake in bascially promising Matt she wanted him. SHe is not blameless. But, you can not take back what is said. She screwed up. Who here hasn't?? Hm?? And on TV where 11 Million people are watching? That has to suck. ANd you can't make it better. I feel for Matt I really do, Meredith did him wrong, God only knows why. What can you do? Nothing. Move on.   Top

AMAI 1254 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson" 02-27-04, 01:45 PM (EST) 7. "RE: I'm with you AMAI" Oh definitely, some of that clothing is just awful. Definitely there are lessons to be learned, and that's part of what takes time. One can't move on without exploring what was done wrong and why. Maybe the bashing is just in its early stages and most people will be able to move on.   Top

Loree 8616 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 02-27-04, 02:53 PM (EST) 13. "RE: I'm with you AMAI" I lost track of how many turtlenecks she wore in that final episode. It became a joke after awhile.   Top

tig_ger 2098 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Roller Coaster Inaugurator" 02-27-04, 01:07 PM (EST) 3. "RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing" I, for one, am really really looking forward to your summary, AMAI. Whenever I write a summary, I just know that I will not please everyone all of the time. Heck, one of my summaries pleased just about no one. So, I think you should just write how you feel--your viewpoint, and if we aren't brilliant enough to agree with you--it's our loss. FWIW, I think the main reason I don't like Ian is because he both physically looks like and acts like an ex-boyfriend of mine...and the relationship did not end well. I do think Ian is much more physically attractive and more interesting than Matthew, but Matthew seems to be a more mature person. Anywho, I know it is easier said than done, but try not to be too worried about your readers. Just write something you'll enjoy. I may not agree with you, but I am confident I will enjoy your writing. A Kyngsladye Original   Top

AMAI 1254 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson" 02-27-04, 01:47 PM (EST) 8. "RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing" Thanks, tig_ger! I know that one can't please everyone, but I just, for a moment, there, wondered if I really were the best one to represent this board, since it is so heavily pro-Matt. However, I'm going to find a way to include stuff that everyone can enjoy, and something to think about for all of us.   Top

teejax22 96 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square" 02-27-04, 01:32 PM (EST) 4. "RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing" But isn't it the point of these boards to let people state their opinions? I mean you don't have to agree with it but I think the bashers have a right to bash especially given the material that ABC has given us. I think we should just start bashing ABC for misleading us because there has to be a lot more to Ian and Merideth's relationship than what ABC allowed us to see. And by the way, I'm not totally again Ian, I can see the chemistry and passion he and M share. I guess my empathy for Matthew and his emotional dismay does not allow me to fully embrace Ian.   Top

AMAI 1254 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson" 02-27-04, 01:50 PM (EST) 9. "RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing" I agree that there is plenty to bash ABC for.   Top

AMAI 1254 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson" 02-27-04, 01:37 PM (EST) 5. "RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing" Thank you all for your thoughtful replies. It's not an effort to get out of doing the recap, since as I say, it's almost ready and I hope to put it up this evening. And yes, maybe we SHOULD be bashing ABC some, too, for going overboard with the misdirectional editing, etc.   Top

csg2345 1 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson" 02-27-04, 01:58 PM (EST) 10. "RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing" i too am an ian fan, and yes i felt badly for Matt. the thing is we learn about the guys through Meredith but we don't really learn much about her, (except her choice in clothes and she doesn't like hottubs). she clearly is not looking for a soft cushy ending. she wants heat which she seemed to have. i don't know how to start a new thread but i felt matthew handled himself with a lot of integrity when being rejected. HOWEVER, on the after the final rose show i felt that changed. he obviously was really angry, but he could have shortened confrontation. i felt he was very sour grapes.i didn't like the way he behaved. its been two months, lighten up. i felt it put a real damper on the positive feelings being generated by meredith and ian. oh well just a thought.   Top

teejax22 96 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square" 02-27-04, 02:38 PM (EST) 12. "RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing" I think part of the reason Matthew acted so calm and collected was because he was really shocked. But at the same time he loved this girl and probably just wanted to protect her so he didn't say anything to make the process harder for her. Sure he has had 2 months to sort of recover, but remember he is also watching the bachelorette to get some clues as to why he was not the final choice. I'm sure in his head he re-lived the experience and could not get the right answers. Then he watches the show...and ABC paints him picture perfect. So at this point he still has no clue as to what went wrong within their relationship. Within those two months of pondering this man was growing weary, and upset because of how Merideth lead him on. I think he is as upset as he is because he doesn't understand why Merideth would basically ask for a ring and then let him go. I think if they didn't have that whole ring conversation (which basically elevated his feelings and expectations of Merideth) Matthew would have been fine and he would have found a way to move on from the experience.   Top

cwft1014 1 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson" 02-27-04, 07:09 PM (EST) 21. "RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing" in response to csg2345, I agree 100% with your post! Especially about Matt's behavior. I saw the three of them this morning with Diane Sawyer. Matt was separated from Ian and Meredith then was asked if he wanted to go say something to them. He should have declined, but no, he wondered over to them and again made it a difficult time for the happy couple. Let them have the spot light for a minute, enough is enough! I did and still do like Ian but more than that I am a fan of Love. The polls showed 80% of viewers thought Matt was "better." That just tells me that 80% of the viewers feel safe and secure is better. Everyone makes thier choice for a mate on diferent criteria and for different reasons. I've been married for 10 years to a wonderful man. He's more of a Matt than an Ian. Steady and secure. But just like me I'm sure there are MANY women out there that would like a bit of Ian in their lives! He has excitment, passion and yes a sense of humor! I read about him in his college paper and he was quite an accomplished athlete. As far as his parents go...They live in Brazil! How much notice do you think the show gave him or any of the men who had hometown visits to set up their hometown date? Less than a week I'm sure. If his dad is working (which I assume he is in Brazil) how easily do you think it would be for his folks to just pack up and go that quickly? My dad wouldn't have. Each family has a different dynamic, that doesn't mean they have something to hide. Remember we only saw the edited version, there's so much more to Ian and Matt we didn't see. I'm sure Ian and Meredith as well as Matt and Meredith discussed issues and topics we weren't priviledged to. Editing was done to make it look like it would be Matt. It happens each season. Merideth made HER decision for HER and not for the vewer. She's the one who has to be with the person she picks. If she wanted all of us to pick for her she was on the wrong show. I could see early on that Meredith and Ian had something worth pursuing. Meredith didn't seem as open and carefree with Matt, she was much more reserved with him. She came alive with Ian. Wouldn't we all like that for ourselves and our daughters?!   Top

AMAI 1254 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson" 02-28-04, 08:47 AM (EST) 24. "RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing" LAST EDITED ON 02-28-04 AT 08:51 AM (EST) Maybe it was supposed to put a damper on it? Or just generate controversy? But definitely Meredith misspoke when she made her "honored for a ring from you" comment. I do agree that it seems like that's being milked, just a tad, by Matthew. cwft, I totally agree with this: Merideth made HER decision for HER and not for the vewer. She's the one who has to be with the person she picks.   Top

sisyphus 321 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Cooking Show Host" 02-27-04, 02:29 PM (EST) 11. "RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing" AMAI: I wasn't going to weigh in on this topic but like you, I am really tired of people bashing Ian and meredith...I for one think that meredith made the right choice...She was in love with Ian long before the end of show and it showed, because everytime she would listen to the video messages her face would just literally light up when his came on....on one episode she mentioned that she had question with regards to him becasue she felt he had not opened up to her as the other guys did..but that did not make one iota of difference, she even mentioned that she was the same way on the previous show. In the end even her mother saw it and mentioned it before meredith had even said anything... So she had the guts to follow her heart and I hope that it leads to lasting happiness...so it was the right decision.... I personally think that both meredith and Ian are at the same place in life....he is not ready to settle down and neither is she, both want adventure and passion...so again she will get this from Ian ... she made the right decision It is all good to say the Matt was better for her but by whose standards?.....If she had chosen Matt it would not have lasted because there was really no passion just romance, and no sense of adventure ...it would become boring over time and she would leave him..... She could have handled things alittle better with matt on the home visit,, but hey, we make mistakes....Matt knew,or should have known and kept in mind that there was still a 50% chance that he would not be chosen and prepare himself...but I guess it would still hurt ....but time to move on and last night could not have been any less ackward for them... Well, I wish meredith and Ian all the happiness and success in there relationship.   Top

AMAI 1254 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson" 02-28-04, 08:57 AM (EST) 25. "RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing" Sisyphus - thank you for this great post. I love this line: It is all good to say the Matt was better for her but by whose standards? It sums it all up. In fact, it's part of why I think reality tv is worthwhile viewing. It's provides a springboard from which to discuss our own values and ideas about how to live, as we share our thoughts and insights.   Top

hunterjax 94 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square" 02-27-04, 02:56 PM (EST) 14. "RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing" AMAI, do not despair. And please, please, please go ahead and post your summary exactly as you want it. I, for one, live for the show summaries on this site (especially from witty and intelligent writers like yourself). This truly was "the most dramatic rose ceremony ever." Because Ian showed us (and perhaps Meredith) a new side of him. That's the side that actually does believe in love at first site and romance, etc. He seemed so excited to be "the one." I thought it was adorable how nervous and jittery he became when he pulled out the ring box. He kept resting his head on Meredith's chest. I think that proved to me that Meredith made the right choice. I liked Matthew too. He is a winner in many ways. But feeling like "an old married couple" at the beginning on a relationship is not promising. The beginning of a relationship should make both lovers giddy as school girls. I observed both Meredith and Ian exuding the giddy-school-girl feeling. I'm sure Matthew will have noooo problem finding the right woman for him. After his exposure on the show, droves of women will be knocking down his door.   Top

AMAI 1254 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson" 02-28-04, 09:02 AM (EST) 26. "RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing" Thank you hunterjax. You know, it's not like I don't have a few negative comments for Ian myself. And Meredith, too. I just feel like in the end, it's about evaluating the decision objectively, which we can all do, even them. I hope those women don't literally knock down Matt's door. But I agree, he may find himself deluged with women.   Top

SilverStar 6205 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 02-27-04, 03:03 PM (EST) 15. "RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing" AMAI!! You have to write the summary! I have been looking forward to it since you signed up. Get this- the reason I signed up on this board in the first place was because I read your summary with Pig Blab and thought it was the funniest. thing. ever! This is the only message board I have ever posted on and now I'm completely loving it and I really owe it all to you! I probably wouldn't have joined in if not for your summary being so hilarious that I just had to write and tell you how much I enjoyed it. I hope that makes you feel better about writing it! Of course now that I've built you up so much it's a much harder fall if this summary blows! ;) Just kidding, I love your work!! SilverStar Proud Member RBBRTFHLA Just call me the AMAI kiss @ss! (and for the record, I am an Ian fan, too)   Top

minkey 231 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star" 02-27-04, 03:38 PM (EST) 16. "RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing" Being one of the only other Meredith and Ian fans... you know I'm in your corner. I look forward to a summary that is balanced. Maybe your insights can will cause others to rethink knee-jerk close minded reactions. I've noticed that none of the Ian fans have bashed Matt. Good for us. Mink   Top

teejax22 96 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square" 02-27-04, 03:52 PM (EST) 17. "RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing" Maybe the Ian fans haven't bashed Matthew because there is nothing much to bash.(Just a thought!) Looking at how the show was edited, there is nothing that I can say is really wrong with Matthew and his expectations. And by the way, if you look closely at some of the threads there is a little bit of Matthew-bashing. Mostly based on the premise that he's boring or that he should be over his loss etc.   Top

minkey 231 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star" 02-27-04, 05:29 PM (EST) 19. "RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing" Matthew seems like a really great guy, but people could get base about him, too. There is fodder there - as with anyone. The minimal Matt bashing hasn't been really ugly like the Meredith, Ian bashing. It's as if Matt's sacred right now. I can understand, though, because I felt horrible for him, also. I think the editing was horrible. If Matt is the Bachelor - the expectation will be way too high.   Top

AMAI 1254 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson" 02-28-04, 09:08 AM (EST) 28. "RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing" Minkey, I hope your hope for a balanced summary is fulfilled. Your comment inspired me to be as fair as I could.   Top

AMAI 1254 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson" 02-28-04, 09:04 AM (EST) 27. "RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing" SilverStar, I'm honored! And I would be honored if you'd enjoy the summary now posted Thank you for your lovely post! Blushing emoticon needed here!!!   Top

qwertypie 9776 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 02-27-04, 04:10 PM (EST) 18. "RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing" Hey, I am not a fan of Meredith and Ian but I do enjoy your posts and am looking forward to your summary of the final episode. I think that you are a great person to represent this board because you do have a different opinion than the pro-Matt masses that are lurking here and will certainly get the posts flying. Take care and chin up! It gets discouraging to get trashed for posting your opinions, but please don't stop. A Humble Fan   Top

AMAI 1254 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson" 02-28-04, 09:14 AM (EST) 29. "RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing" Qwertypie, thank you for your post. You really helped me to overcome a serious doubt I had as to whether I could represent the board. I don't know whether the posts will be "flying" but you helped me to feel encouraged to stick with it and get the piece finished. Which it now is.   Top

celula 42 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge" 02-27-04, 06:55 PM (EST) 20. "RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing" I think the number of Ian bashers appears to be higher than it really is due to the fact that they post so many identical threads on the same theme - "How Matt is great/Ian is awful/Meredith is awful for not choosing wonderful Matt. I remember thinking to myself, "These all should have been in one thread!". Ian is great and has been himself rather than putting on a persona that is seen too many times on these shows. Good for Ian and Meredith! They seem happy which is the point now isn't it? Now go write that summary the way you want to write it. Celula   Top

AMAI 1254 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson" 02-28-04, 09:23 AM (EST) 30. "RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing" Thank you Celula. Ian has certainly not tried to hide his flaws, whereas I think Matt did to some extent. I think the only thing I found I couldn't do as much I would have liked, is make jokes. It's hard to make jokes when you're just smiling with joy for a happy couple. The encouragement is appreciated.   Top

buckeyegirl 5449 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 02-27-04, 07:24 PM (EST) 22. "RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing" Please post your summary Amai! I can't wait to read it. I for one, am also sick of the Ian Bashing. I mean, really how many "I hate Ian" thresds do we need? Remember that the editors just let us see what they want us to see.... A Kyngsladye Creation RMMW!   Top

Fraz 26 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge" 02-27-04, 10:31 PM (EST) 23. "I like them both!" I like Ian AND Matt. I dated lots of "Ians" (mysterious, sexy), but married a "Matt" (best friend, very comfortable).   Top

AMAI 1254 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson" 02-28-04, 09:31 AM (EST) 31. "RE: Tired of the Ian Bashing" buckeyegirl, I expect if we look closely, we can see the reason for the threads. Every basher needed to be recognized, and every facet to be "honored" with its own thread. Fraz, I wish I could say I liked them both equally, but I don't. I am suspicious of Matthew's perfection, something which might be more down to himself "self-editing" than down to the show's editors. I thank EVERYONE for the encouraging posts. I tried to answer each post, and apologize if I missed one or didn't address something you said. The warm replies to this thread really did get me back to work with a smile and a sense that there would be appreciation. I hope that all the fans of the show find something of value in the summary and indeed will take a little nugget of learning away with them. It's really not about what others think is best for you, but about what you think is best for yourself. (God, I sound like fricken Jerry Springer!)   Top

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