Alright, alright, everyone settle down. I see Aruba has the List going again, and that is a GOOD thing.

Since we didn't have the EPIC premier like last season, I decided to pull the wait-until-after-the-2nd-episode to post tactic.

Since age has always been the biggest divider in Survivor, I guess just getting it out of the way makes sense, though wasn't the universally hated (not by me) Thailand a near facsimile? Anyway, wow, the old tribe, these people are actually OLD. Not much can make me feel young anymore, but I am too young to be on that tribe; so at least there is that. And let me just say that this season is winning no awards for attractive cast. How un-Hollywood of Survivor. Despite that, man these young women wear small bikinis! I don't know when Survivor became "Look at my A$$" for the women and "Look at my package" for the guys, but seems like that is the way it has been for about 4 or 5 seasons now.

1. Brenda- Everyone should know by now my fondness for asian women. Add to that brains, gamesmanship, athleticism, desire, and being smoking hot, and I have a no brainer #1. Next question?

2. Marty - Smart and patient enough to let JJ take the lead. Jill saw him as a good person to align with and threw him a huge bone. I think he stays for a while.

3. JJ - I HATE the Cowboys (Packer fan). But he has always been a good analyst, and he obviously knows Survivor. Good guy to have on your team, obviously.

4. Kelly B - Tough and tenacious chick. Is her tribe a bunch of investment bankers or what? People who talk about the FTC during the first couple episodes really irk me. Do these people watch Survivor? Don't think about the end game before handling the short game!

5. Jill - Smart woman. Gained the HII and a big time ally in one fail swoop.

6. Tyrone - Key factor in the IC. Seems like the strength of the Oldies but Goodies. "I'll be keeping one eye on her, and one eye on my shoes." Good call, both.

7. Jane - Made fire during the premier. Good enough to keep her in the top 7.

8. Yve- What kind of name is that? An attractive woman in a season short of them.

9. Kelly Purple- More of her bikini and less of say Jimmy T or Dan would be a good thing. The eye candy is good enough for 9th because I have nothing but bad things to say about everyone else.

10. Alina - Wants to play but probably out-thunk her hand this time around. When going for that first vote, always target the most vulnerable player, who happens to typically be the least popular. No need to eliminate your competition this early in the game. It is just stupid. Once again, the women target the sexiest woman on the tribe out of fear she might control the men. Problem was- it forced Chase's hand. Just vote for Nay and everyone is on board. She is not a threat to anyone? Wrong. She is a threat to your whole tribe.

11. Fabio - Whuh? Anyway... Stick to your guns and go after Nay, man. Don't back down because the women are jealous of Brenda. Scru that. Exert some control.

12. Benry - I can't get over the name sorry. Someone's dog wants their name back.

13. Dan - $1600 shoes? And you announce it? Be a fool once, shame on them. Be a fool twice, shame on YOU. Idiot.

14. Sash - Whuh? What is with the name, brah? The self-anointed "minority." On your tribe, the morons aren't a minority. Sorry. Loved the back and forth with Shannon during TC. Way to make yourself an equal idiot. If he would have told Brenda, "I'm half asian", he would be in my Top 5 easy. I'm sure MTV has you convinced that being white is totally uncool, but get over it, man. My skin is darker than yours and I'm half irish and half german.

15. Jimmy T - OMG, someone else is giving orders! That is SO hard to take, I know! Dude, not listening to JJ when on a team would be like not listening to General Patton when preparing for battle. Get your anterior out of your posterior. Thanks.

16. Chase - The young athletic guy gets the spot right above the certifiably insane. Why? For thinking with the wrong head. Sorry, but that is the only reason he goes with Brenda. You can trust her? Why? Because she has a nice smile? OMG, man. Dork Rob C knew more about women than this soon-to-be-played fool. Strength aligning with strength makes complete sense. The fact that Shannon was an A-hole just made it even better. Instead you go with allies that are going to be looking to cut you as soon as its expedient? Again, do these people WATCH Survivor?

17. Holly- Congrats to MB for finding Shane's mom. I'm sure he'll be relieved after she had disappeared from her "assisted living" center.

18. Naonka- How do you think a stereotype becomes a stereotype? Yeah.

too fast for love-

Wendy- Alex, what is Wanda + Peter equals?

Shannon - HAHAHAHAHAHA... I understand you being all bent out of shape over Chastity turning tail on you over a piece of tail, but what the hell does Sash being gay have to do with anything?? Classic! Thanks for the PSA about the gays in NYC though. We'll all keep that in mind next time we're there.

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