On Monday night T and I found ourselves alone in chat - and also discovered something we didn't know about each other. We're both born again Christians. Religion was not a big part of my life for many years. I believed in something - I went to church even but I could not articulate it in any real, compelling way.

Three years ago, after years of searching and years of striving to do what I thought were the "right" things, I found myself at the bottom of a pit that I didn't think I could ever crawl out of. At that point I "let go and let God". I surrendered my search for power and control to a higher power.

That is an intensely personal decision. Something everyone comes to in their own time or not at all. I'm not a theologian. I don't want to in any way insinuate that my beliefs are more valid than any of yours. That I am right and you are wrong. But this is my personal belief and it isn't one I'm going to deny or make excuses for.

It's important for people to realize that as Christians, we are taught to "minister" to non-believers. That's something I don't feel comfortable or knowledgable enough to do. And it's not something I'm trying to do here. My walk is a new one. But as Christians, we view the salvation we have been given as a gift we want to share. This makes a lot of people uncomfortable and that in turn makes a lot of people (myself included) hide or downplay their faith.

Another thing every Christian strives to do is be Christ like in action and deed. We fail at this - we aren't perfect. Trish is an eloquent, compassionate and strong woman - more than capable of speaking up for herself. I don't presume to state her case for her. I feel though that this is the very human struggle that Christians feel so acutely right now and maybe what Trish was saying. As we strive for the Christ-like qualities of forgiveness and compassion - we struggle with the very human need for revenge. Trish's post was an honest one - heartfelt and sincere. I'm proud of her for making it.

As any of you that know me from chat would realize - I don't "sound" like a Christian. in fact, I told Trish I was behaving like a closet Christian the other night - and I was ashamed of myself. This was before these unspeakable things happened on Tuesday. Even since then, I have not spoken up about other issues because so many of us on the board are walking on eggshells - trying not to hurt, trying to help heal - trying to avoid taking sides. But I don't want Trish to feel alone. And I'm so sorry that OFG felt alone. It hurts my heart that anyone on this board would feel persecuted or isolated for speaking up or taking an unpopular stand. I don't want to take sides in these arguments. I don't want to judge other people or try to excuse or explain. Not taking sides is a tricky thing - and strangely isolating too.

I care deeply about the people on this board. All of you. Tuesday changed everything for me. It has infused me with a sense of fragility and urgency. Life is indeed too short to not speak your mind and open your heart. I never dreamed I could feel so much compassion and connection with people I have never met. But I do. Whether I agree with you or not. Whether you agree with me or not. You are in my heart and in my prayers. I care about all of you.

I'm also ferociously proud of this country. I am so grateful that I am allowed to have my beliefs and express them without fear of government reprisal or oppression. I am so grateful that all of you have the same priviledge. The Bill of Rights is an amazing document - it guarantees us personal freedoms that as a people we sometimes take for granted.

Far more people around the world fight and die for the rights that we have been empowered with. Far more people around the world live and die without ever knowing what it is like to sleep with a full stomach or to go to school or vote or even enjoy the feeling of personal safety. Many of these people live in the countries that we are so angry with right now.

We are angry and horrified - justifiably so - at the governments of these countries that harbor terrorists. And we want to exact a measure of revenge on them. We all do. But the thought of inflicting more misery on the starving people of the Sudan, the oppressed people of Afghanistan. That's a bitter pill for me to swallow. I wish there was a way to punish those truly responsible: the terrorist cells and their leadership - as well as the tyrannical governments that fund, train or shelter them. I wish there was a way to do it that would spare the lives of more innocent people. People who struggle daily under an oppressive system that offers them no hope and no future. People who are born and raised in an environment of fear, hatred and oprresion. People who already have no chance to enjoy the quality of life that we are so blessed to have. I hope our leaders can find a way to do that.

Please understand that I know how very fortunate I am to live in this country. I can worship in the church of my choosing - I can educate myself - I can own a gun (not something I personally choose to do) I can protest policies I don't agree with - I can vote - I can participate in government - I can volunteer - I can serve in the military or be a pacifist. I can do all of this without fear of reprisal. I can enjoy personal freedom that far surpasses what any other country in this world provides it's people. And I am grateful - get down on my knees and thank God grateful. I am thankful that we can even have this discussion because we are in the minority in the global community on that account. And I'm also fearful of the erosion of these freedoms as we all lose sight of what life would be like without them.

The separation of church and state ensures that each of us can wrap ourselves in the faith that speaks to our hearts. We can go to the church, synagogue, mosque or other house of worship of our choosing. Or we can stay at home. I abhor any one denigrating anyone's personal beliefs. The fact that people in my own community are shooting out the windows of mosques or targeting ethnic groups sickens me. It repulses me and it destroys everything that this country stands for.

We are all going to have to sacrifice some measure of our hard-fought and much-loved personal freedoms now. As a people, we had become gluttonous, naive and arrogant. I hope the resolve of people to sacrifice for the greater good withstands the difficult times to come. As a nation, we have policed the world - we have protected and defended the rights of the oppressed. I hope that those we have empowered will help us now.

And for those of us here in this small, little corner of the world, I hope we can all remember that we have far more common ground than disputed territory.