Just to be clear, Spoiling Sam does not do Ducks. Or Re-ducks.

He has standards in waterfowl and waterfowl repeats. He can't precisely define them at the moment because....Oh look, a butterfly...wow...cool...now there are two of them...wow...that's so cool...

…where was I?

Oh yeah, Spoiling Sam does not do ducks. Sometimes he should duck, it can be painful not to, but even then reducking doesn't seem to help. So he quit doing re-ducks. He should quit talking of himself in the third person too, but although he attends weekly meetings of third party talkers anonymous, it seems to not be happening at this time.

Anyway, sign me up for another exciting season of Survivor MMXXIIVVDDCC (or whatever). Spoiling Sam Redeux has had to move his hideout to the caves of Colorado. Not because the Mexican authorities were ever a threat (Pfffft. My girls had those taco eaters in the palm of their hands - use your imagination here) but because of the recent change in Colorado pot laws.

(BTW, Disclaimer: Tacoeater is not a disrespectful term, they each signed a waiver to not be offended by being called tacoeaters. So there! Calling them Tortilla Tossers, on the other hand, will earn you a harsh look from any self-respecting tacoeater).

A legal Rocky Mountain high feels real weird for us, but still, this stuff they grow here is stupefying, and that helps when wheedling spoilers from Survivor cast and crew. Although Probst is always a chump even when he’s sober, give him a little Green from Estes Park and he spills like, like, like a bucket. Or something. This stuff really does mess up similes and metaphors.