LAST EDITED ON 10-10-11 AT 06:08 PM (EST)

Hola Hola Hola, Es your Main Man (as you gringos say) Senor Pissario. El Hombre with the mostest. Except for money, we are running a little low on that on account of we drink and play too much and when we drink we forget little things like paying bills, things like that.

Which is why we had to hook up our Vespa hogs to the bars on the windows of the local hoosegow and break some of my students out. They were simply doing what they do best which was being very very raunchy and apparently they offended some people who think that being sinful and naked and copulating in public is a bad thing. And also they didn't pay their bar tabs, but they never do that, so we think it was discrimination against us. They hate Raunchy Girls and our dear old School for Really Very Raunchy Higher Learning. Rather than argue that in court, we took a direct approach.

You will be relieved to know that all went well, and so far the Federales haven’t found our new location.

You will also be pleased to hear the newest spoilers from that pit of iniquity in the South Pacific, the latest of which are brought to us by dolphin express mail and our inside spoiler source, and which do not bear the fecal contamination of any known *Hantz.

Spoiler #1: Jim meets The Inimitable, Implacable, Implausible, and almost Invisible Cochran (which is how he demands to be referred to today) , and cries “dead arm” and hits him on the arm. The I.I.I. and almost I. Cochran asks “Why did you you do that?” and Jim replies, “Because you were being you. We’ll fix that!” Then he slugs him again and says “Hey, you were still being you!. Quit that!”

Spoiler #2: Ozzy is strategizing full bore about how to get in Elyse’s bikini bottom. “Game? What game?” he exclaims when asked, “You play your game and I’ll play mine.”

Spoiler #3: Sophie talks to Coach in their made up language again and he replies. Their strategizing goes on deep into the night, but neither has any idea what the other is saying. It is, after-all a made up language and neither will admit that. It is a kick for both though when they look down at the bottom of the screen and watch the Cyrillic lettering. Every time either says something, more funny symbols appear. That keeps them entertained.

Spoiler #4: Cowboy Rick’s latest campfire song is “A Buffalo Farts on the Prairie, or Would Brandon please go downwind”.

Spoiler #5: Edna asks Rick,”What is a buffalo?”, “Why does he fart”, “Why does Brandon smell like a buffalo fart?”, “ Is the Buffalo a girl buffalo or a boy buffalo?”,” Is it night on the Prairie, or day?”, ” Do you want a Buffalo massage?”, “Do you want a happy ending”, “Why is the sky Blue?”, “ Why is water wet?”.

Spoiler #6: Mikayla's Oobies are still pointing right at Brandon. And Brandon knows Mikayla is doing this on purpose. He knows that she is the devil and has been making him do bad things all his life. Really bad things. If you thought"Son of Sam" was evil, think "Son of Hantz!". He makes up his his mind to apologize to everyone again for Mikayla’s titties pointing right at him. Then he will swim to the RI and the Ponderosa to apologize to Christine and Stacy and Semhar and Papa Bear for being a sleaze/douche/scum bag all his low-life. Christine and Stacy try and out eyeroll each other, and Semhar and Papa bear offer to have his babies.

(*Mudslinging is our forte, disclaimers we are less adept at)