"Survivor South Pacific - Episode 2 Summary - Demonology 101"Can I just say at the top of the summary, that based on the Survivor sampling we’ve been given, the Hantz family is totally batsh!t crazy? Sorry, just kinda had to get that out of my system before my head ‘sploded.
Previously on Survivor, check out Pepe LePew’s fine Ep. 1 summary.
I have discovered that doing a summary this early in the season is really different. There are still so many meat suits littering the vista that we know so little about. Apparently the production crew thinks so too, and continues to concentrate only on those who are making early waves.
Over at Regurgitate Island Semaphore is dealing with her abandonment issues by reciting really bad poetry to her crabs.
Back at Savvy hewhowantstobeknownasCochran is pathetically grateful for not being voted out. He has an epiphany as he realizes that an ‘antsy, paranoid, nerd kid’ might not be what his tribe wants or needs.
Over at Upchuck, Coach has a morning walk with Edna. You remember Edna, the only person nice enough to welcome Coach and help him with his stuff back on Day 1. Yeah, Edna, the one Coach didn’t even consider bringing into his A alliance. However, he is willing to make her his backup alliance. After Edna confesses she’s weak and Coach admits he’s stupid, this sounds like an awesome pairing.
Meanwhile HWWTBKAC (sorry, Jiffy may be willing to give in to his whiny a$$, but he’s got to earn it from me) has decided to begin his campaign to be less nerdy by chopping open a coconut. It might have been more impressive if he wasn’t wearing a pink shirt with a popped collar. If he hadn’t told us his mommy made him promise not to play with sharp objects before she gave him permission to go on the sleepover. If Ozzy hadn’t walked by right then in his camo briefs.
Speaking of Ozzy, he proceeds to locate the HII by telling us he’s learned to look for the unusual; sticks out of place, rocks in trees, Uncle Cameraman pointing frantically at a tree that only Ozzy would ever be able to climb. Ozzy channels his inner pirate to tell us, ‘methinks me found something’.
At Upchuck Coach bashfully tells Brandon he’d tried to cuddle him the night before and ‘put something over him’. Is that code? Anyway, they take a stroll and Brandon has an attack of guilt over keeping the terrible, awful secret of his name. Remember that secret that he was NEVER, EVER, EVER going to tell? Well, he pretty much spills his guts to Coach who is all ‘Is that your last name?’ and ‘OMG’ but not so much ‘LOL’. After praying with Brandon Coach confesses he’s afraid he’ll be stabbed in the back again. What’s that old saying? Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, shame on you. Fool me three,
four, five times, I must be Ben Wade.
The Savvy tribe is slowly waking to the morning and Elyse tries to channel her ancestors to feed her hunger. Or at least con the guys into doing the hunter/gatherer thing. Out on the boat the poker player/drug dealer orchestrates or architects a plan for a 3-2 alliance with him, Ozzy, Keith, Whitney, and Elyse. Is that 3 men, 2 women? 2 smart people, 2 stupid ones? 3 who know how to play the game, 2 with no clue? Help us out a little here, Jim.
Over at Upchuck Mikayla commits the egregious sin of going fishing with Brandon and Coach. This prompts Brandon to rant some more about that evil Delilah/Jezebel who flaunts her body and sexuality just to make poor, innocent, God-fearing boys like him burn in their loins and therefore she must be destroyed. Or at least voted out. {Is it just me or is Brandon getting creepier with every one of these tirades? He’s getting pretty close to the rapist defense of ‘she was asking for it’.}
And Christine just paints that target on her back a lot bigger by once again skipping camp chores to search for the HII. She does manage to find the clue but can’t figure it out. There’s actually a pretty long list of things Christine can’t figure out.
Time for the challenge, for immunity and reward – comfort in the form of a hammock, mat, pillows, and blankies.
As Upchuck enters the arena they are chowing down on some
freakyweird fruit that looks like baby fingers. Coach says it shows that they will win together. Or it could just mean that their hands will be all sticky. Poor Edna is once again shuffled to one side as they choose to sit her out.
Soon a bevy of beauties and HWWTBKAC are frolicking around Maypoles as Ozzy urges ‘Pull it out Cochran, pull it out!’ Everyone who shouted at their TV ‘that’s what she said’ raise your hands. Now, everyone who screamed ‘No, please, for the love all that is pure and decent, NO!’
Upchuck gets their key first, gets their men out of their chains first, and starts pushing their giant puzzle blocks around before Savvy can even get their key. Elyse loses more time trying to unlock the men. In her defense, Elyse is usually the one chained up. But when the Savvy men get to the puzzle it’s all over but the crying. Upchuck’s sticky fingers slow them down so much that Savvy catches up, surges ahead and pulls out … a win! Elyse Frenchs the Idol and Ozzy nuzzles the blanket as they wander home, while Jiffy reminds Upchuck he’ll see them at Tribal Council.
Oh my, the drama back on Upchuck beach! Christine continues to search frantically for the HII while the rest of the tribe debates who to send home: Christine (Coach), Edna (anyone who wants a strong tribe), or Mikayla (Brandon, who confesses this is the only way to keep him from sin). Coach tells us that Brandon may have demons we know nothing about. Brandon has so many demons that the Winchester brothers couldn’t help him.
Coach actually tries to come up with a strategy to flush out the HII if Christine has it, but Brandon just won’t give up on getting rid of Mikayla. Sophie worries that Brandon has something against strong women which could make her the next target. Sorry Sophie, as far as Brandon is concerned anyone with mammary glands is the next target.
Stacy and Christine look over at the huddle of Rancher Rick, Albert, Sophie, Edna, Brandon and Coach, and Christine actually says, ‘what could they possibly be talking about?’ I dunno Christine, coconut opening tips, fishing lore, game strategy, kicking your butt out, just stuff. When Mikayla strolls over to the group Coach proves how smooth and subtle he is by asking her to give them some privacy. Poor Mikayla wanders off to sniffle that the tribe doesn’t think she’s trustable. Brandon scuttles about like Semaphore’s crabs telling Stacy and Christine they should vote for Mikayla and telling Coach that Stacy and Christine said they plan to vote for Mikayla and Edna wants to know if he likes her, or likes likes her.
Accompanied by what sounds like some poor guy in labor, Upchuck settles in for their Jiffy grilling. Coach fires the opening salvo by laying it out on the table that he was told Stacy and Christine want to vote out Mikayla and that’s just crazy talk. Stacy and Christine demand, with impeccable grammar, to know from whom he heard such a lie. Before Coach can answer Albert butts in to claim that not giving up the dirty rat just proves Coach’s loyalty.
Jiffy is forced to help these tribal virgins along by suggesting Mikayla might want to ask Stacy and Christine if they did indeed say they wanted to vote her out. She asks, they emphatically deny, and it’s just all too much for poor Brandon’s fragile nerves. Evidently Mikayla sitting there in her long sleeve buttoned shirt is so seductive that it short circuits his brain cell and he. Raises. His. Hand. Demanding that Jiffy allow him to confess his nefarious plan. It’s a tossup as to whose eyes roll the hardest – Coach, Christine, or Stacy. Boom!
Albert predicts that a person’s personality and character will creep to the surface; no matter how hard they try to mask it, while the camera gets a prolonged close up of Brandon’s face.
Time to vote, Christine proves she doesn’t have the HII and the vote is Christine-4, Stacy-3, while Sophie and Edna each get one Lord-knows-why vote each.
Christine is visibly stunned that she is voted out after all that, Jiffy tells the tribe to work on those trust issues, and Christine has to poke Semaphore with a crab to get her to share the bamboo.
Next on Survivor, Brandon continues to struggle with the angel and the devil perched on his shoulders and it brings him to tears.
For more fun and games head on over to the Be The Survivor thread headed up by RollDdice: http://community.realitytvworld.com/boards/DCForumID1/4151.shtml
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