Hello again, basher buddies, aliciabbrown here bringing you the latest Survivor missteps from Nicaragua:

BACK FROM TRIBAL COUNCIL

Zap-it-out returns to camp after voting out Sarita. They believe it was better to vote her out instead of David because they KNOW the merge won’t happen for at least another 6 days and they will win 2 more immunity challenges and regain the majority. They can worry about the possibility of David flipping later.

REDEMPTION ISLAND

Wake up Matt, it’s Sarita from the Zaps. He is glad to see her because she doesn’t look too tough. She gushes about all the truly amazing people who just blindsided her. He realizes that, if he gets back into the game, this would be the perfect opportunity to take out everyone from Oh-my-tepee who blindsided him.

TRIBAL CAMPS

Tree mail invites everyone to the duel. Oh-my-tepee thinks it’s a merge. Boston Rob wants to take all their stuff, but Phillip wants to leave it all there. For the 786th time, Phillip tells us about how he is tired of being the redheaded stepchild. However, they have the numbers so he is staying with the Omies. At Zap-it-out, Mike says he is ready to merge, looking forward to going up against BR (BTW, why is BR back for the 4th freakin’ time, anyway? This show really needs to enact a three-strikes-you’re-out rule).

REDEMPTION ISLAND

Matt is nervous about the next duel, because he cut his foot. He thinks it will be OK as long as the duel is anything other than the foothold endurance challenge. God gave him the platform, so he will do all he can. Sarita thinks she is a worthy opponent.

The duel is, of course, the dreaded foothold endurance challenge (which proves that God has a sense of humor). The winner will go back into the game. BR is nervous about the thought of Matt coming back, because he might actually be smart enough to flip to the other side.

The duel begins. Everyone snickers as Phillip encourages Matt by quoting from The Book of Coach. The Zaps cheer Sarita on. In spite of her best efforts, Matt wins the duel and re-enters the game into the newly merged tribe. Then Jeff tells them one more thing: beginning next TC, Redemption Island begins again, so Matt could be voted right back out again. An ecstatic Matt laughs and jokingly asks his tribemates to just give him a minute (I don’t think he meant this in the literal sense).

Matt believes he has an advantage over his tribemates because the 6 people he defeated in the duels told him everything about both tribes. He can go either way, but has to be careful because one slipup out here and you’re gone.

MERGED TRIBE’S BEACH

The castaways find the traditional merge feast awaiting them. They party hearty for a while, then start discussing a new tribe name. BR tells them that Murlonio means “from the sea united” in Spanish. The others like it. Then BR tells us the word doesn’t actually mean anything, but is just a private Rombuh joke, the name of the ringleader of Ambuh’s stuffed animal collection.

The new tribemates start building their shelter, which helps break the ice. Matt asks Grant why he was voted out. Grant tells him without looking him in the eye (in a manner which would be totally unconvincing to a normal person) that it was all about Kristina, but Mr. Gullible falls for it: hook, line and sinker.

Mike sees Matt as the Zaps’ best shot at taking out the Omies. If Matt and Andrea flip, they are all set. Mike tells Matt that he and Andrea can change the future course of the game if they flip. He promises Matt and Andrea final 4, without saying who the 4th person would be. Matt is weighing his options. If he plays the game passively again, he could end up right back on RI (as Anthony Robbins said: “If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten”). Mike also says he has access to the hidden immunity idol if Matt needs it (does Ralph know about this?). Matt says he has to talk it over with Andrea.

It rains heavily all through the night. The shelter did not get finished, and the Zaps’ part of the roof is leaking. The Omies are under the tarp, while the Zaps are getting soaked. Steve hopes Matt and Andrea will flip, otherwise the Zaps are toast.

The next day, Matt and Andrea discuss their options. He tells her he wants to take out Steve and Phillip, then blindside BR. Andrea is absolutely shocked at the thought of this. She says she is OK with the Omies for now. It is extremely risky for her to flip, but she is also keeping all her options open.

Matt and Mike read the Bible together and talk about Jesus’ 40-day fast. Matt feels God put him there for a reason, to honor Him. Part of him wants to do the big move, but he feels his heart telling him to stick with the Omies (are you sure that isn’t heartburn?). BR isn’t liking this one little bit. He shows up at church every Sunday to pose for photos and sign autographs for his fans. However, he simply cannot allow any positive energy to infiltrate his tribe. God is a bigger threat than any human, so BR wants to vote Him out next. Since that isn’t an option, he will have to settle for voting Mike out.

IMMUNITY CHALLENGE

Everyone is delighted that the immunity necklace is less ugly than in past seasons. The challenge is to stand on a log, hold balls on a wooden disk, drop a ball and you’re out. Last one standing wins immunity. It comes down to Mike, Steve and Natalie. Jeff says that Steve and Natalie better hope something happens to an unwavering Mike so that he doesn’t win. Steve is out. Then right on cue, BR’s pet fly comes out of his pocket and lands on Mike’s balls (not those balls, I’m talking about the ones on his wooden disk!). This breaks Mike’s concentration, so he slips and Natalie wins.

BACK AT CAMP:

Mike thinks he might be on the chopping block, that it’s Ralph or him. Ralph is OK with playing the HII for Mike. The Zaps plot to take out Grant because BR thinks they’re gunning for him, so they will take out his right-hand man, then reel Matt in.

Matt tells BR he has grown so much from the RI experience. He confesses he was thinking about flipping and taking BR out, but his heart (or heartburn) is telling him not to change, and God will take him as far as He wants him to go. He tells BR what he and Mike talked about. Now BR wants to send him back to RI for being stupid. Matt thinks he doesn’t have to worry about anything now.

Andrea says Matt is an idiot for telling BR everything and putting both of them in jeopardy. They agree to vote for Steve. Then BR tells Nat to vote for Matt. Grant doesn’t want to vote Matt, but will do whatever BR tells him to do. Matt feels ostracized and Mike loves to see his paranoia. Mike promises Matt he will go further with the Zaps. King Rob decrees that all Omies shall vote for Matt.

Mike writes a note to Matt (nice try dude, but remember what happened to JT and the heroes) and slips it to him. Matt suddenly decides to go for a quick walk. Mike’s note says vote for Grant and I’ll take you to the final 3. Matt is confused and doesn’t know what to do, because it’s his last chance. BR starts looking for Matt and Andrea. He tells Andrea to vote for Matt, but she doesn’t want to trust him again.

TRIBAL COUNCIL

Ralph says it is still like they are 2 different tribes. BR says it’s crazy because nobody is saying anything to each other. David complains about being on the wet side of the shelter. Prince Phillip starts preaching about how the Omies would never throw a challenge then goes into some sort of sea analogy and says he just really doesn’t want to associate with those peasants. Ashley says it is still like 2 tribes, but she doesn’t dislike the Zaps as people.

Matt says life was so much simpler on RI because he didn’t have to deal with all these people. Mike reminds Matt that he is the swing vote, and this TC will reveal where everyone stands. Ralph warns Matt that they voted him out once and they would do it again. Matt laments about being on the bottom of either alliance.

No one’s vote is shown. Ralph plays the HII on Mike’s behalf, so no votes against Mike will count. The final tally is 0 votes for Mike, 1 for Steve, 5 for Grant and 6 for Matt. The tribe has spoken – again!

Matt says he still wants to be friends with these people and isn’t very good at the game of Survivor (DUH!!!). He returns to RI (with the realization that God helps those who help themselves) and secures himself a place on the next “Survivor’s Dumbest Moves” roster.

Until next time, friends, peace out.

aliciabbrown