LAST EDITED ON 05-18-16 AT 05:29 PM (EST)

Hi, I'm Bebo. I'm not a doctor, but I play a moderator for reality TV. I'm here to talk to you about a serious problem. There has been a significant outbreak of a disgusting disorder called PBOWS.

PBOWS, or Piss Bebo Off With Spam, has spread through landlines, email addresses, cellphones, and even internet forums. What are the signs of PBOWS?
- Using an American name in an attempt to mask your Indian accent while you pretend to offer Windows support.
- Thinking that I would rather take a survey than eat dinner or watch paint dry.
- Offering to set me up with MILFs or helping me to grow my male appendage even though I am an awesome chick with a fabulous rack who doesn't need one of those silly little appendages.
- And, of course, wanting to sell me a fake passport. Tell you what, I'll be happy to meet you in a particularly warm place - you go first and wait for me there.

Side effects of PBOWS include:
- Yelling
- Calling you names
- Not just speculating you are compensating for something - just flat out saying that you are compensating.
- Incessant mocking
- Removing your stupid posts from the forums, even I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here. True, you're not a celebrity, but I'll get you our of here anyway.

Do not cross the Bebo. Especially not on the night of the Survivor finale.

Consider this a black box warning on the f'in instructions.