**This was a story i wrote and posted on idolforums. I'm reposting it here in case anyone would like to read it. It takes place 50 years in the future at their 50th reunion**

"TRULY ONE STEP CLOSER TO HEAVEN"

The first one to arrive for the reunion was Chantel. She has aged well but has white hair and walks with a limp after a freak accident. You see, 2 weeks after she made the group as the final member, she slipped on stage at a performance and broke her back and dislocated both hips. It seems she had just got done belting out a 13 minute rendition of The Power Of Love and her dad couldn't take it anymore and cried about a gallon and a half of tears all over the side of the stage. When Chantel was done and went over to him, she slipped in the puddle. After 4 years of extensive therapy she was able to walk again and began a new career in commercials. From 2012 thru 2018, she was the spokesperson for Slim Jim. Anytime you turned on the TV, you saw Chantel snapping into a Slim Jim. She was replaced in the group by the 2nd place A. J.. A.J. conveniently arrives next to greet Chantel. A.J. is bald and has no teeth now and talks like Mushmouth like the Fat Albert show.
"Huwwo Chantew! How Ow Ou?" says A.J..
"Hullo darling, I've missed you!" replies Chantel as the two of them hug and shuffle over to the table to reminisce about old times. Unfortunately A.J. didn't have much success either. He lasted 3 and a half weeks before he had to be replaced as well. You see, at a show in front of all these teen girls, A.J. took a solo of My Cherie Amour and as he did so, some girl int he crowd threw her panties at him. They landed on his head but caused him such a violent allergic reaction that he swelled up like a balloon and was bedridden for weeks. After his recovery, he got a show on TV called "Charlene's Angels" in which a chick you never saw named Charlene and her assistant, a chick named Boobsley ran a 3 man detective group. One of them was A.J.. The show lasted 4 years on UPN before being canceled in favor of "Extreme Blind Date Of Death." He was replaced by the 3rd place Danielle. When Danielle walked in, she didn't look a day over 45. Still long hair in a ponytail and still bouncy as ever. Only one problem, and its the problem that kicked Dani out of the group after 5 weeks.
Puberty wasn't kind to Danielle.
"Hi Dani!" yelled both Chantel & A.J..
"HI GUYS" said Danielle in the voice of what must be the cruelest puberty joke ever. You see, once puberty fully hit Dani, her voice changed. Badly. Real badly. She now talked like Oscar The Grouch. The producers of the group didn't feel she was able to harmonize with the group unless they did a cover of Oscar's "I Love Trash." Dani became a nun in 2019 and stayed at the monastery until 2031 when she felt safe her voice wouldn't frighten small children and cause animals to flee in terror. So Dani was out and was then replaced by 4th place Katelyn. Katelyn lasted as the 5th member of the group for a little over a year. Katelyn had a massive growth spurt when she was 14 and grew to 6'7". The producers didn't feel she fit in the group anymore. Also, the fact that in all the group pics, she was cut off at the neck figured into the decision as well. She went on to be a supermodel as well as star Center in the WNBA and ended up marrying Justin Timberlake. She's worth about 19 million dollars due to all her endorsements and savings. In 2030, after she had retired, she opened up her own string of Chicken restaurants called "Tarver Carver's". The others were jealous of Katelyn and often ostracized her in the following years. All except Lucy who always stood by her best friend. Katelyn was replaced by 5th place Jordan. Jordan lasted in the group for 4 weeks. The poor little thing made the mistake of looking up to Katelyn. I don't mean as a role model or anything. I mean actually "looking up" to Katelyn. It caused her severe whiplash and hurt her neck for the rest of her life. Jordan went on to do voice-overs on Nickelodeon Cartoon shows until 2019 when she then got a job as a radio shock jock. "The Real McCoy" aired in 14 states and shocked people of all ages with her pottymouth and graphic descriptions of...well....everything! She retired from that in 2044. Jordan was replaced by the only one left from the Top 10. Morgan. Well, Morgan enjoyed some good times with the group. He lasted about 2 years until the groups popularity started to go down. Morgan felt the group was beneath him at this point and stared his own group called "The Flower Pots" . They had one hit single but quickly faded from view. At this point the producers decided to give the group one more shot at fame and installed the only one they could to ensure the group would be a hit.......LAUREN KLENA!!......
So Chantel, A.J., Katelyn, Morgan & Jordan all stood around making small talk. Well, all except Jordan & Katelyn who didn't talk. Jordan blamed her for her neck injury which also stunted her growth and kept her 4'6" her whole life. She just stood and glared at the 6'7" Katelyn's belly button in sheer anger. And no one really talked to Morgan since his band The Flower Pots' cover version of Liza Minelli's "Life Is A Cabaret" knocked their single "We Need More Money" out of the number one spot some 45 or so years ago. Just then the door opened and Chauncey strolled in.
Chauncey had quit the band in 2009 which ended the group for good. He then became a baseball player who eventually won the lottery and moved to France to see the Paris sights (yeah, that's a really bad and cheap joke). While in France he took up playing the trumpet. He made a new career out of it. He had one problem though. HE refused to play with a spit catcher so he earned the name "Monsoon" Matthews because anyone in the first 12 rows of his shows would get drenched in spit. He also started smoking and in 2029 had throat cancer. He had to give up his trumpet and took up gambling as a full time career. Now in 2053 his once 29.5 Million Dollar fortune was down to about $4.89 and he looked it. He wore a shabby overcoat with a dandelion in the lapel. He wore 2 left shoes and hadn't shaved in days.
"Hiya guys. Say, what's all the ruckus in here?" said "Monsoon".
"Oh hi Cha..uh...say....whats that smell? IS there a garbage truck out front" said Morgan.
"Shut up stupid" said Danielle The Grouch as she elbowed Morgan in the throat. "It's Chauncey. Cant you make that out? He's a little down on his luck"
"Oh. *Cough Cough*" said Morgan, rubbing his throat.
"Say Chauncey, there's a special table just for you in the back of the room. See that neon sign waaaaaaaay over there? Yeah, well, your table is the one under the sign. Have fun" said Katelyn.
"A special table for me?! Why you guys! you shouldn't have. Thanks pals!" said Chauncey.
He approached for a group hug to show his appreciation but the other 6 dispersed as quick as they could all in different directions as Chauncey looked confused before going over to his table 500 feet way in the corner.
Next to arrive was Taylor. Taylor fell on hard times as well after the group ended. She formed a duo with her sister, Tori called The Thompson Sisters...yeah, well, they weren't the most creative ones in the world. Everyone said Tori was the better of the two and whispered in her ear to go solo which Tori did in 2013 becoming the most successful country singer of all time most known for her 2 famous hits "My Dog Left My Pickup In The Rain And I'm Blue" and "My Cowboy Hat Got Left In The Rain And Some Squirrel Made A Nest In It And I'm Blue". Taylor got disillusioned with the industry and married her current boyfriend, Canyon Grove. At this point Canyon hadn't cut his hair since he was 10 so he looked like a blond Chewbacca. When she made him get a haircut for their wedding she discovered he was really a French poodle someone had taught to speak. Well, she married him anyway. They had 9 kids all named "Anything But Tori Grove". Vince McMahon got them in a wrestling ring for Wrestlemania 31 and they beat the crap outta each other before Tori spit chewing tobacco in Taylor's eyes to get the pin. Taylor turned to alcohol and invented a new 180 proof liquor affectionately called "Liquid Death". She drank herself silly until cleaning up in 2033. Canyon died in a tragic hedge clipper accident 2 years earlier and she remarried Billy Gilman just to spite Tori. They had 9 more kids all named "I Still Hate Tori Gilman" until Gilman eloped with the 129 year old Phyllis Diller in 2050. As Taylor walked in everyone dropped their bickering voices because of Taylor's well known spitfire temper.
"Um...hi...Taylor" whispered Jordan while now hiding behind Katelyn.
"grumble...safdsfdsf...rumble...grruuugh!" said Taylor.
"Oh...um...yeah, well, i agree with everything you say, absolutely" said Danielle as she poured herself a big glass of wine.
"Urrmmm..bolpaitis Raikujurrty" commanded Taylor.
"Oh yes, yes maam, right away" said Morgan as he whisked himself into the kitchen to bring Taylor what she wanted. Morgan figured she either wanted a peanut butter & jelly sandwich, a pack of rolaids or a mustard & gasoline salad. He got all 3 just to be safe......
Next to arrive was Lucy...Lucy had a successful post-group career singing solo until 2019 when she retired to be a devoted wife to her husband Aaron Carter. He divorced her a year later when he couldn't stand being with someone with more talent in her little finger then he has in his whole body. Lucy then took up politics and became a senator in 2028 followed by being the Governor of California in 2034. She became known for using "Call Me" as her answering machine message and "I'm Gonna Make You Love Me" as her campaign slogan. Lucy became US Foreign Minister to Spain in 2038 before accepting the nomination of President in 2042. She won in a landslide to become the first ever woman president. They changed the presidents theme from "Hail To The Chief" to "Hail To The Hale." She fixed all of the US's mistakes and made world peace and also passed a law forcing there to be no more reality TV shows EVER. By this time the world had reached the bottom of the barrel as the Top rated FOX show in 2043 was "Who Wants To Marry A Beekeeper?" "Tarver Carver" Chicken boxes were often flung out all over the White House Lawn (now repainted and renamed The Pink House) as her and Katelyn liked a good old fashioned Chicken pigout as good as anyone else. Lucy retired in 2051 after her 2 terms to her mansion in San Fernando, CA but she made a special trip to see her old friends. It would be her last trip anywhere as the 64 year old had developed heart problems and would die in her sleep 2 weeks later, with a smile on her face as she dreamt about the fun she had waaaaaay back when she was 14......
But today she was very much alive and smiled from ear to ear as she walked in the room with her 52 man bodyguard crew from the Secret Service.
"Lucy!!" screamed Katelyn as they rushed to each other and hugged.
"Oh, Miss Hale, how wonderful for you to come" said Chantel.
"Wow, Uh weal wife ex pweisdent heo wiff us!" said AJ.
"Now, now guys, relax, im still the same old Lucy. Please dont treat me like a queen or something because im not. Im just like you" said the ever humble Lucy.
From the back of the room even Chauncey seemed to be in awe of her as he dropped to his knees and faced Lucy.
"Chauncey....uh...is that you?" squinted Lucy trying to make out the face of the person waaaaay in the back of the room.
"Yeah! Hi Lucy!" screamed Chauncey.
"Well, you dont have to bow to me. A simple hello will do" smiled Lucy.
"Huh? Oh no, no. Im not bowing. One of your secret service guys dropped a nickel and i bent down to pick it up!" said Chauncey.
"Um, oh...so is everyone here?" asked Lucy.
"No, one left....Tori" said Katelyn.
"Jurkiipo nurtops weenitref" offered Taylor.
"Um...o-okay" said Lucy backing away a couple steps.
Just then the door swung open and country music sensation Tori swept in the room.
"TORI!" everyone yelled...well everyone except A.J. who yelled "Towi" and Taylor who just grabbed a butchers knife and hid behind Katelyn's dress.
"Yes, you peons, it is I, the great Tori...music queen. Look, i came to this stupid reunion. I brought my own photographers who are taking pics to prove i can still lower myself to be seen with you common folk..." said Tori
"Hey! Wait a minute! I was the freaking president, for crying out loud!" yelled Lucy.
"Not MY president! I voted for Hilary Duff!" screamed Tori as she stuck up her nose at Lucy and walked away.
"So, ive made the scene, posed for pics and gotten my shoes dirty in this God forsaken building, I am leaving. Ciao" and with that Tori turned around and started walking away. At that moment as they all were mumbling some really not very nice things about Tori, except for Potty mouth Jordan who was mumbling a LOT of really not very nice things, Taylor stepped out from behind Katelyn with the butchers knife and chucked it at Tori. Everyone gasped and held their breath. Chauncey covered his eyes except for a crack to see if any more loose change fell out of anyone's pockets. THWACK...the butchers knife flew thru the air and struck Tori in the wig she wore on stage taking it clear off her head and harpooning it to the wall. Tori turned around bald as a cueball, now starting to cry and then ran out of the building screaming and crying. Chauncey nonchalantly walked over to the wig, plucked the knife out of it and stuffed the wig into his coat pocket.
"YAY" everyone howled and patted Taylor on the back.
"Vortumder Floog Veridsoo!" yelled Taylor while holding her hands above her head like a Boxer who's just won a championship title.
Everyone calmed down and partied until the door opened once again and in strode Lauren Klena & Grace Leer pushing a shaking and incoherent Ryan Seacrest in a wheelchair. Ryan had had a good life after the show. Him and Deborah Gibson got married and Ryan squealed like a 6 year old with an ice cream cone. Deborah went on a Broadway tour to Borneo in 2030 and was gored to death after a performance by a charging Rhino leaving Ryan devastated the rest of his whole life. And little Lauren who ruptured eardrums everywhere with her performance of L. O. V. E. eventually rejoined the group after she went thru puberty and turned into a gorgeous vixen with the voice of Madonna. Lauren and the group were stars again until Chauncey quit the band and Lauren turned around and sold out to the tabloids telling them all the juicy gossip. Lauren was not everyone's favorite as they feel she not only ruined the bands image with her stories but stole their limelight away from them by posing naked in magazines as well. All was good now after years of mending wounded egos and hearts. Grace on the other hand, never made the group or even its revolving door of 5th members after each one had a freak accident. Grace quietly worked at her career choice and became a star Women's Soccer player, even winning a Silver medal in the Olympics. She also worked on Broadway a little bit and was greatly loved. Especially after she flew out to Borneo to finish the tour after Debbie got gored. She retired from singing in 2046 and opened a beauty shop called "A Touch Of Grace" in which her and her husband quietly live off of. So there they all were, either reminiscing, or scrounging for change, or in the case of Ryan, drooling uncontrollably. Since they were of an advanced age, they couldn't have the normal steak dinner the banquet hall usually served, so they helped themselves to a nice banquet of Baloney sandwiches, although Katelyn & Lucy huddled in a corner with some smuggled in Tarver Carver chicken nuggets. And Ryan & no teeth A.J. enjoyed a nice big heaping bowl of Oatmeal. Everything was going good until Tori burst back in the room with the look of pure evil in her eyes!
"I'll get you. I'll get all of you! I'm a superstar. I'm a legend. How DARE you try to embarass me. And as for you, Taylor dear, i have a SPECIAL present just for you!" screeched a bald and infuriated Tori.
"Boostar Mileeki Bagooder!" cursed Taylor right back from behind Katelyn's dress where she took up residence once again.
"But first....my revenge begins......with.....YOU!" screamed Tori as she made a mad dash to the slobbering oatmeal covered Ryan Seacrest. As she reached him she went into her mink coat and pulled out a 2 foot long frozen halibut and smashed Ryan over the head with it. "DIE DIE DIE DIEEEEEEE. You always liked Taylor best! You always took us to amusement parks where you KNEW i was too short to ride the rides! DIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! You'd call my hotel suite up and ask if my refrigerator was running and when i got out of bed half asleep to check only to remember WE DONT HAVE REFRIGERATORS IN OUR ROOMS, YOUD HANG UP LAUGHING AT ME!!!! Die you monster. Die!!!" howled a maniacal Tori until Morgan leaped to the rescue and jumped on Tori's back.
"You crazy lady, go away, leave us alone" yelled Morgan.
"Get off me, you Liza Minelli wannabe, i know it was you would use my eyebrow pluckers and not return them. I know it was you who used my lipstick in your armpits and then put the cap back on it so id get a mouth full of pitjuice. I KNOW!!" screamed Tori.
"What the heck are you talking about? You done gone insane!" yelled Morgan as he wrestled Tori to the ground. Chauncey ran over to help Morgan and said "Hey Tori, if you want your wig back, all you gotta do is ask for it. You dont hafta go and kill everyone for it" said Chauncey.
Tori threw Morgan to the ground and stepped on him knocking the wind out of him. She then turned her attention to Chauncey. "And you....you....dirty, smelly bum. You and Taylor...you always took her side. No matter what i wanted to do, you always did sweet little Taylor wanted to do. Dont listen to Tori, shes never right. TAYLOR TAYLOR TAYLOR!!" yelled Tori as she know attacked Chauncey but only at arm lengths because of the smell. She took dead Ryan's oatmeal and dumped it on Chauncey's head.
"Ow...that crap's lumpy!" howled Chauncey as he swung wildly before being knocked out with headbutt.
"I'll get each and everyone of you. You cant escape. There may be more of you but youre all so old and decrepit. While ive had years of physical fitness trainers work with me and 28 plastic surgery operations. Look at these boobs! Why, the left one i had them take off the corpse of Dolly Parton! I will destr...." said Tori but before she could finish Ex-President Lucy put the empty chicken nugget bucket over Tori's shiny, liver spotted head.
"Ow ow owowow! the grease...ITS TOXIC!" screamed Tori.
"HEY!!" yelled a defensive Katelyn, "we only use non-toxic environment safe chicken grease, ill have you know and we change it every 2 hours to keep it fresh. Why, only the best will do for our customers. Yes sir, if you havent eaten and youre a real starver, then get your self over to the local Tarver Carver"
THUNK... as Lucy bopped Katelyn over the head with her purse, "hey you're not doing a commercial, get over here and help me!"
"Huh?..oh...*nervous giggle* ok, sure, sorry Luce" said Katelyn snapping out of her trance.
Katelyn & Lucy then started to wrestle around with Bucket headed Tori until Tori took both of them and smashed their heads together knocking them silly.
"Take that!" yelled Tori, "hey wait a minute....grr...this chicken grease..my head is stuck! OWW...wait a minute, this wont stop me." Tori then took her 2 thumbs and made eyeholes so she could see and go on the attack again. With Lucy, Katelyn, Morgan & Chauncey all laying on the floor dazed and Ryan dead, that left Grace, Lauren, A.J., Chantel, Danielle, Taylor & Jordan all huddling in a corner.
"Hey...." whispered Jordan, "i have a plan...sshhhh...and just follow my lead". Jordan then duckwalked around the tables and snuck behind the seething Tori. Everyone started doing the same thing which is what Jordan wanted them to do, Tori would see them and focus on them so she could do her thing. "Hey! All of you! Stay still. Dont you move. Im thinking of how to fix all of you! " said Tori.
"Pfft *chuckle chuckle* haha" said Danielle in a whispered laugh.
"Whats so funny?" asked Tori. "Youre standing there wearing a mink coat and a chicken bucket on your head and a frozen fish at your feet. Thats pretty darn funny even if you are going to kill us all in horrible, mutilating ways" said the raspy voiced Dani.
Just then, the distraction having worked, Jordan went into attack mode. "HI-YA!!! " screamed a banshee Jordan as she threw Baloney sandwiches at Tori one after another, "take that and that and that and THAT. No one can resist the power of the secret Ninja attack style 'Baloney Sandwich Of Death'".
Everyone groaned and slumped back into the corner as Tori just walked over to Jordan and picked up her over her head and threw her like a javelin. "Ahhhh..im still a better singggggeeerrrrrrrr" said Jordan as she flew across the room and hit the wall with a thud. Now Tori was mad and grabbed A.J.
"Hey , Weeve me awone, kwazy wady" said a struggling A.J. but A.J. outsmarted Tori as he grabbed onto HER arm as well, this gave the opening to Danielle & Chantel to start punching Tori and knock her down. They stomped and kicked at her and lined up for a death blow. Grace, the pro soccer superstar of yesteryear lined up for a "penalty kick" with Tori's head.
"Any last words, Tori dear" said Grace as she slipped on her lucky Golden Spike Soccer Shoe she always kept in her purse for such an occasion.
"You think you can stop me? You think its that easy? I'm a star. I'm a superstar. You can't do..." but Tori trailed off as Grace connected with the kick and a chicken bucket rolled down the hallway with something bald, shiny & greasy still inside of it.
"Pfew...that was a close one. You're a life saver, Grace", "said Chantel, "hey Taylor, you can come out now"
"Urgon Paroo Vaclabawis" said a trembling Taylor as she stepped out from behind the curtains.
"You can say that again...uh...on second thought, maybe you shouldnt" said Danielle.
"Well, we defeated the big evil threat and now we're best friends again because we all stuck together!" said Chantel as her and the rest helped A.J., Jordan, Chauncey, Lucy, Katelyn & Morgan up and regain coherency.
"Yep....*cough cough* you guys saved us" said Morgan shaking his head and rubbing his chest where the high heeled Tori stepped on him.
"Oh....you havent even seen the BIG EVIL THREAT yet" said Lauren as she turned around with death in her eyes.
"OH NO! NOT YOU TOO" said everyone in unison, except A.J. who said "Oh Oh Ot Oo Woo"
"Oh yes, the real evil is ME..you all mocked me...you made fun of me and hurt my feelings. Everyone hated my singing. Yet, when you needed a 5th member, who did you go to? ME. And what happened? we were the biggest success around because of ME. But where are MY royalties? And no, the yearly calendar of pictures of Simon Cowell marrying Queen Elizabeth doesnt COUNT AS ROYALTIES! Now i will get my revenge. I've been perfecting a perfect weapon of destruction. AND YOU WILL ALL DIE!!!" said Lauren as she stepped away from the group, "All the exits are blocked, theres no way out. You're doomed!"
Lauren slowly opened her mouth.....
"Oh No, shes gonna sing L.O.V.E.!" said Jordan before getting swatted on the head by Lucy.
But the real weapon was soon revealed...
"ARRRGGHHH...she's gonna smile us to death" screamed Danielle trying to hide her eyes.
"Not quite. I had dental and gum implants of the most potent deathrays the sinister underworld could invent. Once i reach my perfect smile, it will shoot lasers and i will burn the whole building down and you will all die here!! MWAAA HAA HAA" said Lauren.
And with that, she smiled the most Lauren-ish smile you can ever imagine. It was hideous. And the deathrays shot out and started the curtains and tables and kitchen all on fire. The gang was surely doomed.
"So long suckers...Im just gonna watch for a couple more minutes to see you all DIE and then make my escape" said Lauren.
Just then there was a voice from the rafters of the building .."Chantel....Chantel.." it whispered. Chantel looked up.
"Daddy?...Daddy, is that you? said Chantel.
"Yes, baby, its me" said her almost 90 year old father. He cant stand to be more than 100 feet from Chantel at all times even at his advanced age, she's still his baby girl, "sing, baby...sing for daddy"
And with that , figuring they were all gonna die anyway, Chantel began to sing Open Arms.
And thats when it happened. You didnt notice it at first. But second by second and minute by minute you saw what was happening. Chantel's father was crying. and crying. AND CRYING. And his buckets of tears were putting the fire out. It was like a huge sprinkler system had gone off. Lauren was furious and stomped hre feet and smiled even more but as soon as the flames came out, the tears out it out.
"NO NO NO NO! This cant be! You cant win!" screamed Lauren. Taylor had snuck over to the now charred as well as dead Ryan and picked up the thawed out Halibut. She swung it at Lauren and bashed her right in the mouth with it. IT short circuited all the lasers and made them shoot inward instead of outward.
A look of fear and panic took over Lauren as she was lasering herself now. She fell to the floor dead.
"YAY YAY YAY!!" everyone yelled. Chantel stopped singing. Her father wiped his tears away. Taylor walked up to the dead Lauren and ripped out a molar out of her head and threw it on the floor with disgust.
"Assa Curtoni Deroopa" said a victorious and heroic Taylor.
"Say, what did she say anyway?" asked Chantel to Jordan
"Um..i think she said 'and thats the TOOTH'" said Jordan who then got punched in the lungs by Lucy once again.
"Say gang, how about a group song?" asked Chauncey.
So they all held arms and started sing "Put A Little Love In Your Heart".

THE END.