Don't worry: I'm sure the rats had a Revive-A-Hamster suited to his skills somewhere in the wings. Maybe it was even -- THE VOLCANO! (Gawds, I wanted to see that as the endurance challenge just to witness the look on Malin's face. No escape!) The last hamster I can remember who had this kind of protection was Crazy James. And we all remember how that season worked out.

Good thing Julie's journalistic credibility had already gone negative, huh? Reading the "results" off that card may be the greatest acting job she'll ever do...

*sigh* This is why I went with the one-word title. The real challenge in calling "Bull@#$%!" on last night is figuring out where to start. Beginning to end, that was the weave from the school of lies. And the audience gasp when Britney hit the Reset Button -- an actual freaking Reset Button -- may have been the last bit of veil being lifted from the eyes of the local masses.

Do you think the rating will take a dive this coming week? A lot of people just had their intelligence insulted. Some of them probably even realized it. And people have abandoned show when the results were twisted out of their liking before -- think Dirtalie's late run. It wouldn't surprise me if this cost the show 500k or so.

I'll settle for five million.