>Okay, here's the thing. Iyanla
>is NOT blaming Lisa for
>Tony's infidelity. She's blaming
>Lisa for creating the situation
>by a) forcing him to
>marry her, b) tolerating the
>presence of the other woman
>in her life after the
>affair was supposedly over ("Bump
>me once, I'll let it
>slide; bump me twice, you
>owe me an apology; bump
>me three times, we're gonna
>have a conversation."), and c)
>for using it as an
>excuse to turn into a
>hard-hearted witch (which hurt her
>and the kids more than
>it did him).
>
>Lisa can't change the infidelity.
>She can't change Tony.
>She can only change her
>reaction and her attitude toward
>both. If Lisa was
>going to throw him out
>over the cheating, she should
>have done it twenty years
>ago, told that other woman
>"you ever come near me
>or my kids again and
>I'm gonna yank your lungs
>up through your left nostril,"
>and then gotten on with
>her life.
>
>Or she should have completely forgiven
>him and gotten down to
>the business of figuring out
>what was the issue in
>their marriage that sent him
>looking outward. She should have
>forgiven him and moved on.
>
>
>Instead of doing either, Lisa chose
>to live a punity, punishing
>lifestyle that made him pay
>every day (by her own
>admission to Stan and Tony)
>for his affair.
>
>THAT is where her blame lies.
> And THAT is something
>she actually has the power
>to change.
>
>~AR~

AlphaRedhead...Just wanted to applaud you...well said!!! That's "it" in a nut shell!!

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"I walk in my own shoes..."
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