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"Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 6"
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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
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11-01-05, 11:00 PM (EST)
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"Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 6"
WelcometoCostaRicaPaoloLinzandBransenfamilies!

That was quite the final sprint there, huh? I canít wait to see Marion on a Segway. Donít worry, we have plenty of oxygen tanks for Marion, Megan, and Wally.

So, Godlewskis, what DID you do with all that excess clothing? Is that how you raised money? Gave it to the muchachos? Iím sure theyíll cherish it for moments before they sell it in turn on eBay.

Weavers, we have Dr. Phil, Dr. Robert Schuller, Dr. Laura, Dr. Dean Edell, Dr. C. Everett Koop, and Dr. Neil Clarke Warren waiting for you right over here. And then we have contracts for you to compete on Battle of the Network Christian Reality Stars. So far, youíre the only ones.

Tammy Gaghan, we have a consolation prize for you, a memento of your journey:

At least you and your plucky kids finished, which is more than I could say for:

(. . . mmmm . . . what? Oh, excuse me. Went to Sweden for a moment.)

There's still time to play. Just sign up in the signup thread, in which you'll find the rules. So far, the following Racers remain available:

WEAVER: Rebecca
LINZ: Alex
BRANSEN: Elizabeth, Lindsay
GODLEWSKI: Michelle

All members of the PAOLO and GAGHAN families are taken.

PHILIMINATED: Rogers, Black, Aiello, Schroeder, Gaghan. Players in these families may post from Sequesterville, wherever it is. Or you may ask for a new, unclaimed Racer.

You may also participate without signing up by posting as a non-Racer, e.g. a local, a cab driver, a coffee bean supervisor, an archaeologist, a banana farmer, a cameraperson or sound tech, or others. Or even as yourself, addressing the Racers. Be creative!

Remember: this is NOT a discussion thread, but a role-playing one. Also, please resist the urge to post as your character in other TAR discussion threads. We've already been warned politely by the Blue Peeps. Don't ruin this game for everyone. Thanks.

Have fun!


My spine is wet linguine now. Thanks, Tony.

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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edi... zipperhead 11-01-05 1
   RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edi... byoffer 11-02-05 8
       RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edi... zipperhead 11-02-05 24
 RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edi... bostonrobfan 11-01-05 2
   RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edi... Cygnus X1 11-01-05 5
   RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edi... Lisa0116 11-02-05 26
       RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edi... bystander 11-03-05 28
 RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edi... beau_30 11-01-05 3
   RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edi... Cygnus X1 11-01-05 4
   RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edi... dragonflies 11-02-05 7
       RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edi... cahaya 11-06-05 31
 FIRST PLACE!! AGAIN!! Seana 11-02-05 6
   RE: FIRST PLACE!! AGAIN!! CouchTater 11-02-05 18
 RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edi... byoffer 11-02-05 9
   RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edi... byoffer 11-02-05 10
       RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edi... byoffer 11-02-05 11
           RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edi... byoffer 11-02-05 12
               RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edi... byoffer 11-02-05 13
                   RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edi... byoffer 11-02-05 14
                       RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edi... Seana 11-02-05 16
                       RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edi... Cygnus X1 11-02-05 17
 Everybody Hates Us! bystander 11-02-05 15
   RE: Everybody Hates Us! CouchTater 11-02-05 19
       RE: Everybody Hates Us! LibraRising 11-02-05 21
           RE: Everybody Hates Us! CouchTater 11-02-05 23
 RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edi... buckeyegirl 11-02-05 20
   RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edi... bystander 11-02-05 22
       RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edi... DonnaLynn 11-02-05 25
           RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edi... bystander 11-02-05 27
       RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edi... buckeyegirl 11-03-05 29
 RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edi... Max Headroom 11-04-05 30

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zipperhead 3442 desperate attention whore postings
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11-01-05, 11:15 PM (EST)
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1. "RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 6"
LAST EDITED ON 11-01-05 AT 11:15 PM (EST)

So, Godlewskis, what DID you do with all that excess clothing?

Well, that one Weaver girl seems to have a problem with all of her shorts shrinking in the hotel dryer. Can't tell you what (or how) the Linz boys paid for our underwear. We charged Rolly $5 a sniff - got him for $55.

Weavers...we have contracts for you to compete on Battle of the Network Christian Reality Stars.

And what would the detours be? Pray the rosary five times fast? Build your own crucifix?


What have they got that we don't got? There's FOUR of us! Well, okay, three of us and a nag who thinks she can drive better than me.



I can't believe you stayed up past your bedtime just to post this at the opening bell.

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byoffer 15947 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-05, 09:22 AM (EST)
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8. "RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 6"
We charged Rolly $5 a sniff - got him for $55.

So then, was that a feminine pad stuck to Rolly forehead??

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zipperhead 3442 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-05, 01:53 PM (EST)
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24. "RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 6"
I would congratulate you on reaching 1000, but you're kind of grossing me out right now.


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bostonrobfan 490 desperate attention whore postings
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11-01-05, 11:22 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 6"
*sniff* I'm so proud of my sister, Meg. Finally grew some.

(We charged Rolly $5 for ou Linzo English-Spanish dictionary. We just added an 'o' to every word in the dictionary. Know-o whato Io meano?)

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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
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11-01-05, 11:34 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 6"
Mirna will be hitting-o you up-o for royalties-o.


Once she and Charla get back from the doctoro.

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Lisa0116 688 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-05, 02:37 PM (EST)
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26. "RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 6"
>*sniff* I'm so proud of
>my sister, Meg. Finally
>grew some.
>
>(We charged Rolly $5 for ou
>Linzo English-Spanish dictionary. We
>just added an 'o' to
>every word in the dictionary.
> Know-o whato Io meano?)
>

Hey, play with your own sack-leave my big balls alone!!!



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bystander 4967 desperate attention whore postings
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11-03-05, 02:01 PM (EST)
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28. "RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 6"
If I was drunk as well as high, I'd find that to be PIMP!

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beau_30 952 desperate attention whore postings
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11-01-05, 11:26 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 6"
Why you eliminate us phil? Why? At least my sister is a better sport than stassi and char.
Just wait until Halloween expect toilet paper on your house. You said several non-elimination legs, you better not have the weavers in a non-elimination leg, you get rid of them fast now you hear, fast.
MOM!!! DAD!!!! This hurts, but I am very proud of my sister for not breaking down to hard. Its ashame phil, you shuld be ashamed of yourself. I saw you about to break down, why won't you break down phil huh, like you did when Charla and Mirna were eliminated.
I know you wanted to say this was a non-elimination leg.
How could you phil, why couldnt you say it? It wasn't our fault I tell ya, its not. Florida pushed us down while running to the mat.
How would you like phil if we said keoghan family you have been eliminated and your little daughter busted in tears, sad, Now im not going to hear the end of it from her. All she is going to be doing is crying. Great.

"Its the most daring competition every attempted."

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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
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11-01-05, 11:32 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 6"
Deal with it, kid.


Now gidaddahere before (1) you become annoying, or (2) you make my brow twitch.

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dragonflies 8051 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-05, 08:34 AM (EST)
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7. "RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 6"
*smack* You are such a dork Billy.

Winners never quit. Quitters never win.

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cahaya 19126 desperate attention whore postings
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11-06-05, 03:00 PM (EST)
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31. "RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 6"
Winners never quit. Quitters never win.

I knew I had a smart girl.

Farewell to some of you until you reach Sequesterville or we applaud you at the mat at the Finish. (Level of applause depending on who you are!)

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Seana 5044 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-05, 00:15 AM (EST)
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6. "FIRST PLACE!! AGAIN!!"
And we won stuff again! Woo! I'm so proud of my boys! Look at us working together! Did you see my Tony kick butt on that banana task? And my boy DJ, he hugged me a whole bunch of times. *sniff* I just wanted them to appreciate me and what I do. *sniff* I'm so happy, I just want to collapse on the ground here for a while.

No, no, don't *gasp* worry about me *wheeze*. I'll...*gasp*...be just fine...


"Volcano Team"
With apologies to Veruca Salt

Leave me, lying here.
Cause I don't wanna go. {x2}
{...}
Volcano Team,
we really can't be beat.
Warm us up and watch us blow.
But now and then we fail
and we admit defeat.
{...}
Leave me, lying here.
Cause I don't wanna go. {x2}
A million miles of running and
I hit the wall,
I bounce back and I run some more.
{...}
So get down and meet me on the floor.
Way to go, way to flip off everyone.
I steal your thunder then I try to bolt.
But I could stand a little pity now and then.
{...}
Well here's another clue if you please,
{...}
Leave me, lying here.
Cause I don't wanna go. {x3}
Leave me, leave me, leave me. Go..
I don't wanna go {x5}

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CouchTater 1046 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-05, 10:50 AM (EST)
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18. "RE: FIRST PLACE!! AGAIN!!"
Hey Marion, Youíre my baby and I love ya. What can I say. Iím proud of ya. Youíve proven that youíre not just a lasagna makin, laundry doin, and house cleanin wife, you can run too, barely, but good enough! Donít worry I know mouth to mouth recessitation.

See boys, hauling trash all my life came in handy. Weíre gonna win the million cause of that. Iím in my 50ís and Iím runnin circles around those other teams and you guys.

This race is so Umbelievable! Hey Phil and the rest of America, this race has been really good for us. We might constantly yell at each other, but we LOVE each other. I can finally talk, and Iím not shuttin up no mowa. And even though we fight all the time, we arenít the most unpopular team. The Floridas are. Thatís cause we donít tawk smak about the other teams; we help and work with them, except the Floridas. It was a consensus decision to yield them from all the teams.


Hey Phil, I love you too. Get over hea, I gotta give you a nice banana haulin sweaty hug.


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byoffer 15947 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-05, 09:30 AM (EST)
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9. "RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 6"
Did you see me in that coffee bean Roadblock?? Not only did I find the magic bean, but I once again showed the viewers that I have the best "aft end" on reality tv.


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byoffer 15947 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-05, 09:33 AM (EST)
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10. "RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 6"
***WARNING - cross threading ahead***

In your dreams, Lauren. I have the best derriere on reality TV. My tookus even got a spot in the opening credits!


Cross threading is not a crime!

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byoffer 15947 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-05, 09:37 AM (EST)
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11. "RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 6"
You have got to be kidding. Both my bare-nekkid heinie and my pink panties have actually been shown in the actual show, not just the credits.


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byoffer 15947 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-05, 09:41 AM (EST)
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12. "RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 6"
***WARNING - Still cross threading***

Oh ya Lauren, well take this:


with credit to TeamJoisey

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byoffer 15947 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-05, 09:45 AM (EST)
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13. "RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 6"
Hey Cindy, look up, look way up. That's not the sun, and it's not the stars. It's me, and I have this for you...


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byoffer 15947 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-05, 10:07 AM (EST)
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14. "RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 6"
Oh dear, would you look at that cat fight. Those two girls are really going at it. It started with the name calling, but now we have some hair pulling, scratching, and pulling each other's clothes off. I guess this will really give us a chance to be viewin' the booties, examining the ends, and testing the tooshies.

I really wish that The Amazing Race Basher Forum had a camera like the HutCam on Survivor Bashers so that you could all see this.

It looks much too dangerous (and foolish ) to try to break this up, so I think there is only one thing to do. Grab a chair, some popcorn, a couple of beers, and enjoy the action. Tickets are available at the box office. Special passes have been put aside for Rolly, Bystander, TeamJoisey, and Kingfish (in case some, er, special investigation is required).

I was going to invite Danni to the party, but her red thong-ish shorts are getting mixed reviews.


Thanks for allowing me (!) to hi-jack this thread with my butt thread to take me over 1000 posts. It's good to be "politically incorrect"!!

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Seana 5044 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-05, 10:32 AM (EST)
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16. "RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 6"
Will you be posting again as "Sybil"?


*snort*

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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-05, 10:43 AM (EST)
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17. "RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 6"
There's more self-conversation going on here than on the Phil Hendrie Show!


Congrats on 1K.

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bystander 4967 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-05, 10:11 AM (EST)
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15. "Everybody Hates Us!"
LAST EDITED ON 11-02-05 AT 10:13 AM (EST)

For some reason, everyone hates my family. Those Eye-Talians from New Jersey Yielded us. What a bunch of retards! How goofy do they look standing in front of a garbage truck. Do you know they actually took a family picture in front of a garbage truck? No wonder they smell so bad. Retards. And Bryan you look like a squirrel but you just donít know it. Retard!

<Bryan imitation> Hi, My name is Bwiaan. I yam frum Noo Joisey. I yam a sqworral. I yam wee Todd did! </Brian imitation>

And what about DJ telling Brian he was gonna kick him in the head. My family only speaks encouraging words to each other. My mom taught me and my sisters not to trust other people. Weíre Christians and weíre above them, and their garbage truck. Weíre also above the Desperate Housewives and their fake boobies. Although I personally donít care if they are fake. Iím still waiting for Sharon to flash me that pink sweater.


ETF Rolly's bad spelling.

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CouchTater 1046 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-05, 11:06 AM (EST)
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19. "RE: Everybody Hates Us!"
Hey Brainwashed- you don't tawk about my family like that. I'm an I-talian garbage collector you know and I have connections from several sources that I'll use to hurt you. Besides which, it was just a matter of curcumstance that we got to the box first. It was decided already from the other teams that who ever got there first was going to yeild you guys, cause no one likes you.

Deal with it!

Marion, are you gonna take that kind of crap from this little turd and his Christian wanna be family?

Italian New Yawkas rule!

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LibraRising 2847 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-05, 12:24 PM (EST)
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21. "RE: Everybody Hates Us!"
DON'T YOU TALK BAD ABOUT MY SON! BE SUPPORTIVE! I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE! SHRIIEEEEEEEEEEEK!

*jumps behind the wheel of her SUV and drives around wildly*


There hasn't been a woman this unstable behind the wheel since Clara Harris.

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CouchTater 1046 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-05, 01:29 PM (EST)
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23. "RE: Everybody Hates Us!"
Complain to Jesus, not me. You already ask him for everything. Oh and by the way, God loves garbage collectors and their families too. The proof is in the winning 1st place two times in a row. I guess all your praying hasn't been helping you too much. Your losing it was pretty funny though.

I might smell, but I laugh all the way to the bank!

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buckeyegirl 5449 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-05, 12:19 PM (EST)
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20. "RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 6"
How fast was I at finding that Red Bean? I didn't even have to flash anyone to find it either! I can't help it if Sharon ruined our lead with her bad driving skills.


Bean finder Queen

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bystander 4967 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-05, 01:10 PM (EST)
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22. "RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 6"
You only found the bean because your sister told you to "look and see which one looks different." You're so stupid and retarded that if she hadn't told you that you'd still be rolling around in the beans.

By the way, how much did you and your sisters pay for those OOBies? I stole some more of my mom's tithing money so whenever you wanna play flash and sniff again, let me know.

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DonnaLynn 582 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-05, 02:32 PM (EST)
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25. "RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 6"
Hey Rolly! You're a retard and YOU look like a squirrel! Who came in first and who came in last? I rest my case!



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bystander 4967 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-05, 03:24 PM (EST)
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27. "RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 6"
Oh yeah, Phil took a picture of you coming in first. Here it is:


I think it speaks for itself. Retard! By the way, you're out of my Posse! No more Panamanian Delight for you buddy!

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buckeyegirl 5449 desperate attention whore postings
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11-03-05, 05:48 PM (EST)
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29. "RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 6"
LAST EDITED ON 11-03-05 AT 05:49 PM (EST)

I'd flash my oobies at you, but I'm still mad at your sisters for making fun of our pictures. It wasn't my idea to wear pink, ok? Oh, and I'm still smarter then your family...at least our car didn't get stuck in the mud.


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Max Headroom 10069 desperate attention whore postings
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11-04-05, 10:44 AM (EST)
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30. "RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 6"
Zzzzzz. Huh? What? Sorry, I overslept again. This race is really wearing me down. It's a good thing there are Starbucks everywhere in the world. Mmm, chocolate muffins and double-strength coffee.

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