I accept Caterwaul's invitation to the ball.We will ride in the Limo and I will present her with a large box of Cat Nip flavored candy.
While it is difficult for me to drink without making a mess I will try the Clorox Cocktail and the C6 H8 O6 as a chaser.
As far as not needing the condoms, alas, you are correct. I never had the chance to tell my back story so here goes.
We now know what can happen if you don't make it to the Doctor within four hours. Nuff said.