Welcome to the Fox network’s latest version of twisted reality; The Complex. It’s the show that asks the question <chandler voice> Could Barney and Rose BE more annoying? <\chandler voice>.

We start out back at the complex after last week’s lumberyard ceremony that sent Brad and Lew packing. Steve and Nicole are savoring their victory with their bestest friends for life, Scotty and Sam. In what turns out to be a quite predictable foreshadowing moment, they toast each other’s honesty, integrity and their lifelong friendship. Of course, it hasn’t quite sunk in that they’re no longer teammates.

Downstairs, Dave and Ana vacate the Apartment From Hell, leaving Barney and Rose alone with their architectural creation. They are taking Brad and Lew’s place in Apartment 3, and are fairly gleeful to inherit the apartment that has added the most value 3 out of 4 times so far.

The next morning it’s revealed that their next task is the deck. Since Apartment 4, has an extra bedroom and a very small deck, Barney and Rose will be judged on both those spaces this week. All the teams must figure out how to allocate their remaining money, $38,000; which needs to cover the cost of their kitchen and second bathroom, as well as their deck area. Most of the couples decide the bulk of their remaining funds will go into the kitchen.

The four couples assemble for a resident’s meeting to discuss the design of their decks. Because the Complex is truly just one property, they must coordinate their designs so that the resulting outdoor living spaces work together aesthetically and are compatible. If they achieve this, the decks may be the only thing in the complex that works together and is compatible. Inexplicably, Sam has a problem right off the bat with Steve and Nicole’s idea of “floor covering” on their deck. I’m not sure why, but already the friendship is starting to sour. Dave and Ana make a ridiculous attempt to disguise their intentions by telling the teams they are planning an “outdoor cooking device”, and a “recreational device that contains bubbly water”. This coy word game angers the other residents. Sam says: “How stupid do they think we are?” Sam is forgetting that Dave and Ana have spent the last four weeks working with Barney and Rose, which has likely shaped how they perceive the intelligence of their Complex co-residents!

In the upper complex, Steve is working diligently on the deck of apartment 1. Scotty and Sam are curious what he’s doing up there and ask what’s going on. Steve, however, has adopted a commando approach to the game now. All bets are off, everyone else in the Complex is his enemy – even his wife, as we will see later. He asks Sam what’s in it for him if he tells her what he’s doing. “Where’s the tit for tat?” This reminds me that I always wanted my nickname to be Tat so I could go around saying “where’s the tit for Tat”! Fortunately, Sam does not use this opportunity to expose herself to Steve or the viewing audience.

Unfortunately, it’s at this point in the show where my wireless keyboard has strayed too far from it’s receiver. As a result, I’m left with the following notes, which I’ve leave you, the reader to interpret as you like:

Yyanddooccey eettddttrrkktchhaabb wwhhy aaeeiiittmmtheemthhyytoaaueere mcrreeeeesseelliicsstt tooddt ggg yo y sooecadtsodaayy? Beythnkg s ssdd,,cceetgttsaacc istt.. Teesaaeaaaoonggcrraazyittteecaattt,esssteeeotnntyy$8500.

Got that?

Best I can tell, we’ve reached the part of the episode where Barney and Rose go cabinet shopping. The salesman helping them apparently is fresh off a stint as a used car salesman. He asks Rose “what would it take to get you take these babies home tonight?” and “what kind of monthly payment were you looking for?” Even Barney complains that the guy seems kinda shady. The salesman is calculating the price for Barney and Rose, indeed, we see him crunching numbers on his calculator. The display reads 18,500. He relays the total price to Rose: $24,500.
Heh! She complains a little, but ultimately agrees.
I hope he threw in the undercoating and extended warranty for that price.

We’ve reached the point in the show where the focus shifts quickly from couple to couple.

Scotty and Sam are at Sears looking at grill islands. They score a very nice corner unit and are told it’s the only one in stock. They believe that have scored a major coup!

Barney and Rose argue because they’ve committed most of their budget to the kitchen, and I think Rose may actually be going crazy. She’s given up the idea of winning this show and is focusing all her efforts on being the most annoying reality show contestant ever.

Dave and Ana are looking at spas . They are convinced a spa will make them the winners of the deck competition hands down.

Steve and Nicole are not getting along. He has adopted an all business attitude and she doesn’t like it. She wants him to be sensitive and lovey-dovey. Also, she looks really, really tired, and she’s cranky. They fight in the car on the way to Sears and soon he has her in tears. Worse still, neither is wearing a seat belt, which is illegal in California. Kids, don’t try this at home!

Scotty and Sam are getting ready to install their new straw tile floor. They think it will be a real WOW factor. It looks like something my mom would have done in 1972.

In apartment 3, Dave is attempting to build a classy plywood patio storage box. It will go well with his gray indoor/outdoor carpet. Nothing says Malibu like plywood and all-weather carpet. Somewhere, Brad and Lew are watching this episode and weeping with shame or laughing uncontrollably.

Meanwhile, Steve and Nicole are still fighting about whether he is a total a$$ or merely a buffoon. Back from commercial and Dave and Ana’s spa is being delivered by crane. “This will give us an easy win”, Dave confidently brags. Steve is disappointed that their grill won’t give them an advantage, as units 1 and 3 have the exact same grill island. Yes, it’s the very island Scotty and Sam thought was the only one in stock. Barney and Rose have adorned Unit 4 with the cheapest grill I’ve ever seen – I think they got it for applying for a Wal-Mart credit card. The contestants work furiously to make their last minute adjustments, and now it’s time for judging to begin.

Deck #1 (Steve and Nicole)looks very nice. Their deck has been divided into several separate spaces, with a kitchen area, a sunning area, and an eating area. There’s really nothing for me to slam.

Deck #2 (Scotty and Sam) is fairly well received except for the straw tile floor. It definitely gives them a WOW factor, but instead of WOW this is great, it’s more like WOW, this is tacky!

Deck #3 has a hot tub, so according to Dave, they win automatically. Too bad they forgot to show the judges that clause form the rule book. Their deck looks pitiful. Their ugly gray carpet is hated by the judges, and the whole space is very plain looking. It’s an UGLY, poorly designed effort.

In apartment 4, Barney and Rose’s extra bedroom and deck is slammed by the architect and the interior designer. Fortunately, the real estate agent merely despises it. Rose decides she wants a different agent and tries to fire him on the spot, forgetting momentarily that this is a game show, and they don’t actually own this property. She’s out of control.

As the teams prepare for the results of the judgement, Dave comments “we have wall to wall carpeting and a spa -we won hands down!” I’m sure you realize by now that this is more foreshadowing, so you won’t be surprised by the shocking judgement ceremony. Steve and Nicole’s deck is judged to be the best. They get $3,000 added to their bankroll. The twist is that the money comes from everyone else’s budget - $1,000 from each of the loser couples. Rose is not happy - she’s on a tight budget for her kitchen.

The deck judged to add the least value is – SURPRISE – Dave and Ana’s deck in apartment 3. For their victory, Steve and Nicole will be treated to a night in the Presidential suite at the Santa Monica Loews hotel. They are getting ready in their apartment and Steve tries to earn brownie points by complementing Nicole’s appearance. Nicole says she’ll need about 45 more compliments and a shot of tequila before he has enough brownie points to make up for his behavior this week. He replies “yeah (a shot of tequila) for me, if I’m drunk enough to be with you”. WHAT AN IDIOT. His comment didn’t even make sense!

The hotel looks very nice, and Nicole is looking much happier now. Steve may get lucky tonight in spite of himself. Fortunately he doesn’t blow it when she toasts “their relationship being more important than the game”. Unfortunately, they must be back to start work around 8am. Not much of a night off!!

Next Challenge - Bathroom #2

The teams have 5 days until the next judgement. Steve and Nicole have hired contractors to do some electrical, plumbing, and drywall work. They’re using the money they won last night from the other teams. In the bathrooms, several couples discover granite walls in the shower enclosures under the wallpaper. Who would paper over granite? Two of the couples are keeping the granite, but Steve and Nicole, and Dave and Ana have decided to retile the entire bathroom.

Now it’s Dave and Ana’s turn to fight. They have to go back to Home Depot because Ana doesn’t like the look of the tile they selected. Also, they are in trouble because they can’t find anyone to do kitchen cabinets for them on such short notice. They assume the other teams have all lined up cabinet contractors already.

Scotty and Sam are struggling. Sam has lost her will to continue after not winning the deck challenge, and coming in second once again. Also, she is sickened by her husband – he’s happy 24 hours a day. Bastard! Later, after awaking from a nap, Sam check’s Scotty’s tile work in the shower. She doesn’t like the checkered tile pattern he has created, explaining that it’s making her sick to her stomach. She’s ready to tear it out and redo it. It looks like a checkerboard gone bad.

Steve and Nicole are going crazy with the tile. I don’t think they’ll have time for much else.

Back to Sears where Dave and Ana bicker over appliances. Ana wins the argument by correctly pointing out that if she gets her way she’ll be really happy. Hard to argue with that logic! She is ready for The Complex to be over so she can take a long vacation – by herself!

Once again , it’s time for final touches and will someone please tell me why it seems like the bulk of the work happens in the last 6 hours, then the last hour, then the last 7 minutes? The air horn sounds, signifying that time has expired, and the inspectors make their way into The Complex. This time as the experts go through the house, they are completely silent. It makes the couples very nervous. All the rooms actually look pretty nice. Steve and Nicole’s tile job turned out great. Scotty and Sam picked some really nice fixtures, but I don’t like their black and white tile work . Also, the room looks very sparsely decorated and furnished.

Dave and Ana have made heavy use of glass and stainless steel. I don’t like it much. It doesn’t say Malibu to me, it says In and Out Burger. It just looks really busy. Now did I say ALL the rooms looked nice? Well, not apartment 4. It looks quite plain. Rose, still focused on being the most annoying reality TV contestant ever, starts repeatedly calling the real estate agent “Dave”, despite his repeated admonishments that his name is David. Well done, Rose, that’s going to improve his opinion of your bathroom!

Judgement time! Again , the losing couples must pay the winning team $1,000 out of their budgets. We learn that despite spending the second least, Dave and Ana have added the most value with their bathroom. In addition to the money, they will get spa treatments. Scotty and Sam come in 2nd place (!), Steve and Nicole are third, leaving Barney and Rose dead last! Rose says this is wrong, wrong, wrong, but host Tyler assures her it was unanimous.

Next week is the final week of the competition and they will be doing their kitchens. Also, they can make improvements to previously judged rooms. Once again, we are told the team to make the most profit on their unit wins the profit from the sale of ALL the units.

Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion of The Complex, and more importantly, check out the final episode summary which will be covered by the one and only volsfan!

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