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"Judge Grit"
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Original message

grit 4868 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Stuff Magazine Centerfold"

03-24-09, 08:11 AM (EST)
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"Judge Grit"
Oyez, oyez, oyez. Court is now in session, the Honorable Judge Grit presiding. She will now hear cases involving marital spats, workplace disagreements, and family arguments.

Complaintants do not need a lawyer (unless you really want one). Defendants need not be present. In fact, you will probably get a better judgment if you present the defendant's case as well.


I got sliced!

Disclaimer: Judge Grit is not actually a judge. The only legal experience Judge Grit has is that she has 2 law firms as bookkeeping clients. Judge Grit is for entertainment purposes only. Court will be in session from 9:00 - 3:00, EDT because Judge Grit has the day off. Verdicts are not guaranteed to be fair, but with any luck will be funny. Bribes are gladly accepted.

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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: Judge Grit Estee 03-24-09 1
   RE: Judge Grit grit 03-24-09 2
       RE: Judge Grit Estee 03-24-09 3
 Buggy v Furniture Manager Buggy 03-24-09 4
   RE: Buggy v Furniture Manager grit 03-24-09 7
       RE: Buggy v Furniture Manager Buggy 03-24-09 15
 RE: Judge Grit kingfish 03-24-09 5
   RE: Judge Grit grit 03-24-09 12
       RE: Judge Grit kingfish 03-24-09 20
 RE: Judge Grit Ahtumbreez 03-24-09 6
   RE: Judge Grit grit 03-24-09 9
       RE: Judge Grit Estee 03-24-09 13
           RE: Judge Grit kingfish 03-24-09 16
               RE: Judge Grit Buggy 03-24-09 19
       RE: Judge Grit Buggy 03-24-09 17
       RE: Judge Grit Ahtumbreez 03-24-09 21
   RE: Judge Grit Buggy 03-24-09 10
   RE: Judge Grit Estee 03-24-09 11
   Objection, Your Honor cahaya 03-24-09 49
       RE: Objection, Your Honor kingfish 03-24-09 50
           Objection again, Your Honor! cahaya 03-24-09 52
               RE: Objection again, Your Honor! kingfish 03-25-09 53
                   Objection denied cahaya 03-25-09 81
 Buckets Lasann 03-24-09 8
   RE: Buckets grit 03-24-09 14
       RE: Buckets Lasann 03-24-09 24
           RE: Buckets grit 03-24-09 26
           RE: Buckets byoffer 03-24-09 46
   RE: Buckets samboohoo 03-24-09 18
       RE: Buckets Lasann 03-24-09 22
 RE: Judge Grit Devious Weasel 03-24-09 23
   RE: Judge Grit grit 03-24-09 25
       RE: Judge Grit Devious Weasel 03-24-09 28
           RE: Judge Grit Ahtumbreez 03-24-09 30
               RE: Judge Grit grit 03-24-09 32
                   RE: Judge Grit Ahtumbreez 03-24-09 39
               RE: Judge Grit foonermints 03-24-09 34
               RE: Judge Grit DearAbby 03-24-09 47
       RE: Judge Grit Estee 03-24-09 29
           RE: Judge Grit Devious Weasel 03-24-09 31
               RE: Judge Grit grit 03-24-09 33
                   RE: Judge Grit Devious Weasel 03-24-09 35
                   RE: Judge Grit kingfish 03-24-09 36
                       RE: Judge Grit grit 03-24-09 38
                           RE: Judge Grit Estee 03-24-09 40
                               RE: Judge Grit arkiegrl 03-24-09 42
                                   RE: Judge Grit Estee 03-24-09 43
                                       RE: Judge Grit grit 03-24-09 44
                                           RE: Judge Grit Devious Weasel 03-24-09 45
                                           RE: Judge Grit Estee 03-24-09 48
                                               RE: Judge Grit foonermints 03-24-09 51
                                                   RE: Judge Grit Estee 03-25-09 62
 RE: Judge Grit foonermints 03-24-09 27
   RE: Judge Grit grit 03-24-09 37
       And for THIS foonermints 03-24-09 41
 *looks around* foonermints 03-25-09 54
   the Baliff jbug 03-25-09 55
       RE: the Baliff foonermints 03-25-09 57
           RE: the Baliff grit 03-25-09 59
               RE: the Baliff kingfish 03-25-09 61
               This Is foonermints 03-25-09 67
   RE: *looks around* Ahtumbreez 03-25-09 56
       RE: *reviews papers* foonermints 03-25-09 58
           RE: *reviews papers* Ahtumbreez 03-25-09 60
               RE: *reviews papers* kingfish 03-25-09 63
                   RE: *reviews papers* Ahtumbreez 03-25-09 65
           Let's go Tummy jbug 03-25-09 64
               RE: Let's go Tummy Ahtumbreez 03-25-09 66
                   RE: Let's go Tummy jbug 03-25-09 68
                       RE: Let's go Tummy Ahtumbreez 03-25-09 70
                           RE: Let's go Tummy jbug 03-25-09 72
                               RE: Let's go Tummy Ahtumbreez 03-25-09 74
                                   RE: Let's go Tummy jbug 03-25-09 75
                                   RE: Let's go Tummy foonermints 03-25-09 76
                                       RE: Let's go Tummy jbug 03-25-09 77
                                           Yes foonermints 03-25-09 79
                                               RE: Yes jbug 03-25-09 80
                   RE: Let's go Tummy foonermints 03-25-09 69
                       RE: Let's go Tummy Ahtumbreez 03-25-09 71
                           RE: Let's go Tummy foonermints 03-25-09 73
                               RE: Let's go Tummy byoffer 03-25-09 78

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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 08:17 AM (EST)
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1. "RE: Judge Grit"
Dear Judge Grit,

I can't help but notice your legal experience, which is five hundred times more than that of all television judges combined. Do you find having a working knowledge of the law is a handicap in rendering ratings-worthy judgments?

And isn't it true you're just doing this to see how you look in the robe?

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grit 4868 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 08:30 AM (EST)
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2. "RE: Judge Grit"
Your wasting my time in my court by asking questions but presenting no case.

My judgment is for the defense. I am awarding all of your MCR points to bravie.


I got sliced!

I love wearing the robe. It's very freeing wearing nothing underneath.

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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 08:38 AM (EST)
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3. "RE: Judge Grit"
I love wearing the robe. It's very freeing wearing nothing underneath.

That would explain the waist-length cut and the glass bench.

I award the judge an apostrophe and continuing merriment at her self-perception. (You're a little too late on the points.)

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Buggy 5089 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 08:39 AM (EST)
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4. "Buggy v Furniture Manager"
I have a gripe against the Furniture Manager ( to be known as FM) at my work. I believe I have a case.

On a Day last week ( let's call it Monday) Buggy was asked by the Manager on Duty ( MOD) to go to the Bank with the FM.
This is a common request , and 2 employees go to the bank everyday.
The Bank is across the street from the store, and the usual banking run takes about 10 - 15 minutes.

On this day Buggy ( the lowly associate) was riding in the Furniture Manager's vehicle, and was at no time in control of the transportation.
After the banking business was complete the FM decided he wanted to go get an Iced Tea, conversation went like this

FM - I don't feel good today, I think I want to go get a tea.
Buggy - now?
FM - Yeah, the MOD won't mind
BUggy - I don't know, sometimes she's pretty grumpy
FM - Eh I don't care ( note that they do not get along)

So off we go about 2 miles down the hwy to the place he wants a tea from ( because he likes their tea better than the close by place), and it begins to rain, hard. We are on the main hwy that runs through my town and it's nearly noon so traffic starts to back up. I am a nervous wreck at this point, and when we arrive at the drive-thru resturant he asks me if I want a tea, he says he is buying. I accept ( and in hindsight this was my mistake).

We return to the place of employment and even though I don't check my watch I am sure we've been gone at least 35 mintues.
FM drops me off at the door with the bank bag ( as is customary, and per procedure), I enter the store by myself as he parks his vehicle.

When I enter the MOD is standing by the door waiting for me, sees the tea in my hand and says

MOD - So, you went on a little field trip did you?
Buggy - FM decided he wanted to go get a tea.
MOD - On my time? You went on MY TIME?!
Buggy - I wasn't driving

I hand her the bag and go back to work.

Later the FM asks me if MOD was mad. And I say yes, I was in trouble. FM laughs, and says the MOD never said a word to him.

I believe I deserve some kind of compensation for this.
I am a lowly associate who was put in a bad spot out of my control by the FM. The MOD no longer trusts me and constantly checks on my work, and has been really un-friendly to me since this incident. ( I mean really un-friendly, and this is not a person you want to be on the bad side of)
I have always done my job and until now have had the trust of all the managers.

Please Judge Grit, hear my case and advise me, and grant me a settlement in my favor.
Oh wise and wonderful Judge Grit, may I add that you are looking very nice today.


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grit 4868 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 08:48 AM (EST)
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7. "RE: Buggy v Furniture Manager"
Oh, this is an easy one. Judgment for the plaintiff. FM is a douchebag.

The defendant is ordered to pay in the following manner:
Should the MOD ever request that you accompany the FM to the bank again, you should definitely accept. Bring along a drink (soda is good, a milk-based drink is much better). Also, put some sort of food item that will rot to a lovely odor in a small brown lunch bag and tuck it into your pocketbook. When FM is not looking, shove the bag as far under the seat as you can. Then, when the FM is driving, as soon as he hits the slightest bump or curve, spill your drink all over him and the car seat. There, you have instant and future revenge.

Then, when you get back to work, complain to the MOD that the real reason you were late last time was because the FM was making sexual advances towards you and he did it again on this trip.


I got sliced!

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Buggy 5089 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 08:57 AM (EST)
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15. "RE: Buggy v Furniture Manager"
AWESOME!

I love the spilling of the drink idea since he is a rather jerky driver anyway.

Thank YOU Judge Grit!

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kingfish 20752 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 08:43 AM (EST)
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5. "RE: Judge Grit"
Plaintiff:

Well, first your honor, I just want to say that I love you and I watch your show every day. I think you are wise, beautiful, and, say, have you lost some weight? Why I declare, I think you have. And to think I thought you were perfect before. My goodness! May I name my children after you? Thank you your honor.

Anyway, that tramp over there, she borrowed my rent money to pay her drug bill and bail her ho daughter out of jail. That's right your honor, I was just leaving church one day when she drove up in a stolen car with her crack head gang banging friends and asked could I give her the money I was holding for my rent.

She promised that she would give it back when she got her tax return back, and that would be before the rent came due. Your honor, she swore on her grandmother’s grave! Right there in front of a church!

Well, I heard from my cousin that she was buying drugs and getting her ho crackhead daughter out of jail so that her pimp crackhead boyfriend could ho her out for more drug money. I could hardly believe it, you honor, she actually lied to me and now I can't pay my rent.


Defendant’s Rebuttal

Thank you your honor, and I just want to say I love you more than that ho biotch crackhead over there does, and I watch you show every day too. And if I could just get the name of your hair dresser, I mean I've never seen such perfect hair, your honor.

Anyway, that ho biotch slut crackhead is lying, and she didn’t give me no money. And if she did, then it was a present because she thinks she is the god-mother of my daughter (but she really ain't, your honor), and she wanted to help her get out of jail because she felt guilty that the police arrested her thinking she was arresting the Plaintiff! That's right your honor, the plaintiff is the ho, and she should pay me for my mental distress.

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grit 4868 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 08:54 AM (EST)
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12. "RE: Judge Grit"
Judgment for the defendant. The plaintiff is a stupid idiot for giving any money to a known crackhead. Consider this money well-spent for your education in the way things work in the real world. Get out of my court. Here, take this camper so you have someplace to live after you get evicted for non-payment of your rent.


Handcrafted by RollDdice

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kingfish 20752 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 09:08 AM (EST)
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20. "RE: Judge Grit"
The plaintiff and defendent in unison, because neither actually know who is what, and they both think they might have won....

"Thank you your honor."

"You want to buy some crack, I need some rent money?"

"Is that cute baliff married? Happily married? Maybe he just wants a date?"

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Ahtumbreez 10456 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 08:48 AM (EST)
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6. "RE: Judge Grit"
LAST EDITED ON 03-24-09 AT 08:50 AM (EST)

Your Honor -

I'm here today to sue everyone of OT, except you of course. I don't really have a case but I will make one up if you feel I need to. In fact if you give me enough time I could probably make a case against every individual here, except you, of course.

My main thought is that I just think it would be really cool if all of OT owed me, and in answer to that unasked question I see in your font, yes I'll go halvsies with you.

So there's my plea. I throw myself on the mercy of the court to find in my favor.

*throws self down in front of Judge Grit ala Tatiana


Mangalicious by The Slice
09/25/2008 Bre left for Iraq
04/29/2009 Bre leaves Iraq

eta a 'll

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grit 4868 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 08:52 AM (EST)
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9. "RE: Judge Grit"
*throws self down in front of Judge Grit ala Tatiana*

*rolls eyes* Geez, throwing yourself on the floor, crying, and speaking Spanish will get you NOWHERE in my court, missy.

Judgment for the defendants (all of OT). I now invite everyone on OT to approach the bench to ask for damages.


I got sliced!

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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 08:55 AM (EST)
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13. "RE: Judge Grit"
I ask that her hair be damaged. Really, really damaged. 'The 'before' in a bad infomerical' damaged.

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kingfish 20752 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 09:00 AM (EST)
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16. "RE: Judge Grit"
I ask that I be allowed to feather tickle her tummy until she pees, as punishment. And that I be allowed to post the video on U-tube.
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Buggy 5089 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 09:02 AM (EST)
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19. "RE: Judge Grit"
*SNORT*

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Buggy 5089 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 09:00 AM (EST)
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17. "RE: Judge Grit"
For damages I request that Tummy ( if that is really even her name) *looks squinty eyed at Tummy*
Bake cookies for all of OT!
Cookies, everyone likes cookies!

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Ahtumbreez 10456 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 09:17 AM (EST)
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21. "RE: Judge Grit"
Estimado Juez --

Usted sucketh mucho y espero que nadie le pide su ayuda.


Mangalicious by The Slice
09/25/2008 Bre left for Iraq
04/29/2009 Bre leaves Iraq
When I get upset not only does my accent show but I lose all concept of the English language.

You OTer's out there, just remember, if you throw yourself on the mercy of that Ho Judge's court you might get the blueberry shaft!

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Buggy 5089 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 08:52 AM (EST)
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10. "RE: Judge Grit"
But you didn't present any evidence!

Dear and wonderful Judge Grit, are you going to let her do this to us?


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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 08:53 AM (EST)
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11. "RE: Judge Grit"
What happened to your accent?
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cahaya 19891 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 03:40 PM (EST)
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49. "Objection, Your Honor"
This class action suit is improperly filed.

Only the teachers around here (and some folks with kids in school) can be claimed as defendants by virtue of their being active in class.

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kingfish 20752 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 05:36 PM (EST)
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50. "RE: Objection, Your Honor"
LAST EDITED ON 03-24-09 AT 05:37 PM (EST)

Your honor, we are filing a Writ of Corpulence due to a technicality. The despondent, Cayaha, has misspelled his name, thus rendering the appellation mute and disconfiguring the appertenance of the affair.

Your's truly,

Kingfish

of the lawfirm Kingfish, Fishwoman, Maroonclown fish, Crabman, Wally the Whale, et al.



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cahaya 19891 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 10:24 PM (EST)
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52. "Objection again, Your Honor!"
The counselor's said Writ of Habeus Corpulence, yet another scrap of paper filed by such 'schooled' fishes as Kingfish & partners, et. al. (and et. cetera.), is entirely irrelevant to the legal issue at hand.

(*looks right straight and square-eyed with Her Honor grit, bribe 'r no bribe*)

We're talkin' real class action here, Your Honor'ble Ma'am.

Th' poor boy couldn' ev'n sin' 'Merican Pie.

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kingfish 20752 desperate attention whore postings
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03-25-09, 08:57 AM (EST)
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53. "RE: Objection again, Your Honor!"
I call MaroonClownfish's Mom as a witness....

"Tell the court on your own words, Mrs M.C. Fish...

<whispered aside - my what a fine dress you're wearing, have I ever told you what a remarkable figure you have?>)

...what foul and illegal deed you witnessed by the resplendent on the morning of March 14th, 2009."

"Tell the judge what loathsome act of cowardice you witnessed the despicable corresplendent do in the alley behind Fred's Diner, and please be as graphic as possible! Lay out in precise detail the way the corpusclent defendant actually said the Judge was fat and was wearing a wig to cover-up her bald spot. A shameful lie as we all know and can attest to ourselves, uttered with preordained malificense and with perfect calamity of mind, by the deflectant."

"And is it you opinion Madam, that is, do you agree with every other sane person on earth, that the wascally wabbit should be hung by his short hairs until he says he's very very very very sorry? Like he really really really really means it?"

"Thank you. Your witness, Mr Defender of Satan and other baddies."




Foonered by conductor!

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cahaya 19891 desperate attention whore postings
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03-25-09, 04:39 PM (EST)
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81. "Objection denied"
Mr Defender of Satan and other baddies.

There, Honourable Ma'am, are the offendant's character witnesses, who no doubt offered you, shall we way, certain incentives to rule in their favour. Dismemberment isn't a very pleasant prospect, after all.

Nonetheless, what is claimed is all hearsay (heresay, too) and, I may add, a total fabrication without a single Exhibit A presented before Your Honour.


Passengers on fooner's crazytrain

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Lasann 3616 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 08:49 AM (EST)
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8. "Buckets"
Your honor,

I have buckets - many buckets. I believe in buckets that must be left inside for chores such as cleaning walls and floors. Then I believe in buckets which should be left outside for many various chores such as lawn work, keeping my gardening tools in one place, cleaning of siding - you get the idea.

Well when a person living or visiting my house used an indoor bucket outdoors I would buy another indoor bucket. Now I'm on a limited income. Yesterday I had NO indoor buckets so I washed one (ick) to use on the kitchen floor. I did a thorough job and even sprayed it with anti-bacterial spray before using. I'm not entirely happy with this *stained* but clean bucket.

Will you make an order that the next person who, without regard for my sensibilities, takes my newly cleaned indoor bucket or any new bucket I purchase for indoor - outdoor, will either:

1. Buy me a new bucket
2. Be my slave for a week which includes sterilization of said buck.
3. Sleep outside for two days.

-or-

apply your own justice.


Thank you your honor.


Sharnina has outdone herself this time! Bounced by IceCat!!!

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grit 4868 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 08:57 AM (EST)
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14. "RE: Buckets"
Is this bucket-taker who has no regard for your way of doing things your spouse? If so, then men are idiots and therefore my judgment is for the plaintiff. The defendant is hereby ordered to buy you a new bucket, be your slave in all ways (including sterilization of said buckets), sleep outside for two days, and buy you something new and really expensive.


I got sliced!

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Lasann 3616 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 10:11 AM (EST)
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24. "RE: Buckets"
Well it's my Dbf and my two sons - aye all men!

And they try to make you feel "picky" when they disobey this hard and fast rules.

Maybe I could dunk their toothbrushes in mud!


Sharnina has outdone herself this time! Bounced by IceCat!!!

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grit 4868 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 10:15 AM (EST)
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26. "RE: Buckets"
No, dunk them in the toilet. This way there's no evidence that the toothbrushes have been tampered with but you get the satisfaction of knowing that you pulled one over on them.


I got sliced!

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byoffer 15947 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 01:04 PM (EST)
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46. "RE: Buckets"
my Dbf and my two sons

Can we refer to them as the three bucket-eers?

*groans to self*


It's Bachelor Love, which is like Monopoly Money in that it has no actual value outside the game. - frodis

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samboohoo 17173 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 09:01 AM (EST)
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18. "RE: Buckets"
I completely side with you.

The same can be said about brooms. There are certain brooms for the inside and certain brooms for the outside. One should never bring an outside broom inside. And one most certainly should never use the good inside broom to sweep the garage.

*smooches Agman*


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Lasann 3616 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 10:08 AM (EST)
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22. "RE: Buckets"
We discussed this topic yesterday.


Sharnina has outdone herself this time! Bounced by IceCat!!!

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Devious Weasel 18756 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 10:08 AM (EST)
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23. "RE: Judge Grit"
Dear Ms. Manners:

There is this girl on OT that I really like, but she says no whenever I ask her out and I can’t stalk approach her anymore because of the restraining orders. What should I do?

Dweeze

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grit 4868 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 10:14 AM (EST)
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25. "RE: Judge Grit"
You and this girl on OT are perfectly suited for each other (in spite of estee's protestations) as you have both managed to waste my time with non-case-related questions.

Judgment in favor of the defense. You are hereby ordered to date estee (in spite of the restraining orders). That should be punishment enough for both of you.


I got sliced!

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Devious Weasel 18756 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 10:23 AM (EST)
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28. "RE: Judge Grit"
Oh it's a case, Dear Abby. It's a bad case. It's a bad case of annoying her...
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Ahtumbreez 10456 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 10:28 AM (EST)
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30. "RE: Judge Grit"
*gasp I did not know that Dear Abby and Grit was one and the same! *wait a minute....didn't you "both" participate in SS?! I think a disrobement should happen if this is the case!


Mangalicious by The Slice
09/25/2008 Bre left for Iraq
04/29/2009 Bre leaves Iraq

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grit 4868 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 10:36 AM (EST)
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32. "RE: Judge Grit"
I'm a 45-year-old woman who has had 2 babies. You really don't want to call for a disrobement.


I got sliced!

OT's been punished enough as it is...

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03-24-09, 10:54 AM (EST)
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39. "RE: Judge Grit"
*snort


Mangalicious by The Slice
09/25/2008 Bre left for Iraq
04/29/2009 Bre leaves Iraq

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foonermints 14531 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 10:38 AM (EST)
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34. "RE: Judge Grit"
»disrobement«
*Makes Snickerface*


Handcrafted by RollDdice

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DearAbby 3008 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 01:22 PM (EST)
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47. "RE: Judge Grit"
I did not know that Dear Abby and Grit was one and the same

Just because we have the same hairdo, it doesn't mean we're the same person. If you've noticed, Grit and I have been very careful never to simulpost.

*switches from brown wig to blonde wig*


Part of the Manga tribe

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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 10:28 AM (EST)
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29. "RE: Judge Grit"
That's very nice, but:

1. I just hired an assassin to kill you and
2. He's talking about Snidget.

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Devious Weasel 18756 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 10:32 AM (EST)
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31. "RE: Judge Grit"
See Dr. Phil? See how she is?
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grit 4868 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 10:37 AM (EST)
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33. "RE: Judge Grit"
Admit it, there's a secret part of you that loves to be abused by estee.
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Devious Weasel 18756 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 10:38 AM (EST)
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35. "RE: Judge Grit"
What do you mean secret?
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kingfish 20752 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 10:39 AM (EST)
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36. "RE: Judge Grit"
psst...he just called you Dr Phil!
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grit 4868 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 10:43 AM (EST)
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38. "RE: Judge Grit"
I've been called worse. In fact, right here on OT...
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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 11:17 AM (EST)
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40. "RE: Judge Grit"
I'm soberly science,
Pelican stare.
I appreciate Amish Hair.

Buttress meat,
He's smelling me,
I'm Barry White in August.

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arkiegrl 9421 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 11:52 AM (EST)
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42. "RE: Judge Grit"
*snort*
They've got to keep bringing Frenchie back for more shows, just for the subtitles.
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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 12:05 PM (EST)
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43. "RE: Judge Grit"
I almost used her quote to start the first-ever 'DeCaption This' thread. What is this woman saying? Can you guess? Can anyone?
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grit 4868 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 12:16 PM (EST)
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44. "RE: Judge Grit"
*squints eyes at estee*

You better be careful there or I'll throw you in jail for contempt of court.


I got sliced!

...and by "jail" I mean that you will be forced to moderate the AI Forums on finale night and have to deal with all the outraged newbies...

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Devious Weasel 18756 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 12:17 PM (EST)
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45. "RE: Judge Grit"
If you toss her in jail, can I be the guard? Please Regis? Please?
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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 02:27 PM (EST)
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48. "RE: Judge Grit"
I have nothing but contempt for this court.

And you can't make me a BluePeep. No one would dare make a BluePeep. Not even a single-forum BluePeep. So in conclusion, nyah-nyah.

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foonermints 14531 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 05:39 PM (EST)
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51. "RE: Judge Grit"
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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings
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03-25-09, 01:32 PM (EST)
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62. "RE: Judge Grit"
The eternal issue with the Mints: 'Yeah, but which one do you ban?'
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foonermints 14531 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 10:22 AM (EST)
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27. "RE: Judge Grit"
Save Me Jeebuz Help Me Judge Grit!!
I've been forced to work with an idiot.
He's an Army Ranger Jumpmaster who is trying to design a SpecOps backpack. I've been designing backpacks longer than this guy has been jumping out of planes, and by the way, how smart is jumping out of a plane, anyway?
For fair consideration in this court I will call him Oaf. He reminds me of another fellow I will call Ox, who had the voice of ten men and the strength of three. It doesn't count, because if you tie their shoelaces together all you'll hear is the same old thud.
So, I have to fix all the screwups that Oaf has made on his "Genius Design". The guy is lazy. He farms out the work he should be doing himself, walks around the shop making blabbing noises, and takes credit for the work of all the rest of us toiling slaves.
Fix this bastaad for me, and I will be forever grateful. But not Dead Grateful, as I wouldn't want to appear inappropriate.
CTgirl Margarita Chupacabra habla naughty palabras!

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grit 4868 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 10:41 AM (EST)
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37. "RE: Judge Grit"
Hmmm. I need more evidence so I'm going to grant you a continuance. This guy, Oaf, certainly seems stupid but you will have to hire some investigators and bring the report to court. I would suggest making the SpecOps backpack using Oaf's specifications, then have him jump out of a plane while wearing it. If he survives the jump, I'm afraid I will have to rule in his favor.


I got sliced!

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foonermints 14531 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-09, 11:43 AM (EST)
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41. "And for THIS"
I pay perfectly decent bribe money? Sheesh.
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foonermints 14531 desperate attention whore postings
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03-25-09, 11:54 AM (EST)
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54. "*looks around*"
*grins at empty courtroom*
*puts on robe and bangs gavel*
WooT! Judge Foonermint!
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jbug 17146 desperate attention whore postings
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03-25-09, 11:56 AM (EST)
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55. "the Baliff"
"All rise"


Riding First Class with Fooner

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03-25-09, 12:13 PM (EST)
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57. "RE: the Baliff"
Who's first on the chopping block?

dJudge foonermint is a hanging judge.
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grit 4868 desperate attention whore postings
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03-25-09, 12:38 PM (EST)
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59. "RE: the Baliff"
The Plaintiff: Grit
Nature of complaint: Her husband does not apologize when he’s wrong.

The Defendant: Stoopidhead
Defense: None, other than the fact that he’s a stoopid German.

The facts: When grit & stoopidhead get in an argument, stoopidhead will adopt a stubborn attitude and insist that his way is the right way and no other point of view can ever be considered. He will get loud and obnoxious and say hurtful things to grit. Then stoopidhead will stop talking to grit. If stoopidhead truly believes he’s right and grit is wrong, he will eventually insist on talking through the problem until grit admits the error of her ways and apologizes. Stoopidhead will not apologize, however, for the hurtful things that he said. However, if during the silent treatment stoopidhead realizes that he was wrong, he will suddenly talk to grit like nothing happened. No apology. No nothing.

We had a knock-down, drag-out fight on the ski slopes on Saturday. I took a spill. I knew why it happened. I was shifting my weight because I was turning and I hit a huge pile of mashed potato snow. It was kind of unavoidable and explained to him why it happened. But he starts yelling that it happened because I was doing something wrong (something that was taught to me by a trained ski instructor). I pointed out the logic of what I was doing but he said he’s more athletic than I am, that he’s a gifted black belt and knows much more about balance than I ever could and I could tell he wouldn’t listen to a word I said because he’s so much “smarter” than I am. He wouldn’t talk to me for the rest of the day. So when I was off with one of my daughters without stoopidhead, I said to her, “See those skiers on the black diamonds? They’re doing exactly what dad told me was wrong.” So every trip up the mountain on the chair lift, I would point it out to my daughter and say, “Huh. Look at that. See what they’re doing?” Eventually stoopidhead caught on to what I was pointing out and realized that 99% of the skiers were doing exactly what I had been doing. He started talking to me again, no mention of the argument, no apology, no concession that I was right.

Damages: I ask that the court be generous in awarding me damages in this incident. I trust that Judge Fooner will be very imaginative with the punishment.

Thank you for your time and may I say that you are definitely looking very sexy today, Judge Fooner.


I got sliced!

I won't get all Tatiana on you. I know how people hate that... *squints at you-know-who*

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kingfish 20752 desperate attention whore postings
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03-25-09, 01:26 PM (EST)
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61. "RE: the Baliff"
LAST EDITED ON 03-25-09 AT 01:32 PM (EST)

Kingfish, as representative of the Pelagic Foundation, would like to submit our briefs to be cleaned. (And them ain't gravy stains either!) as a friend of the court.

(giggle).

Our briefs are in support of the suit worn by the plaintiff.

(giggle giggle)

We would like to see a summary judgement in the case of.....

Boinking Boinking boinkity boinkity boinky boinky...

(runs from courtroom, mad giggling!)

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foonermints 14531 desperate attention whore postings
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03-25-09, 01:55 PM (EST)
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67. "This Is"
LAST EDITED ON 03-25-09 AT 03:17 PM (EST)

Absolutely dreadful! Being from an Austrian background I know how Dunderheaded Deutchlanders can be. I hope he's not Bayrisch. Those people can't even speak properly, and if he is it's better if he does clam up.

"The Silent Treatment" is an evil, sneaky backstabbing ploy used by husbands to infuriate. They think that by infuriation the pent up anxiety will result in uncontrolled, wild nookie. It does, but only as a solitary event.

As for damages.. yes! I decree that the Know-It-All Dunderhead have his Dunderhead replaced by a block of wood. A hardwood of your choice, and be carved into the likeness of James Bond. For his last meal I will prepare a pot roast, and followed by a short hanging, then the rest of him should be ready for the replacement head.

"Hang 'em High" ~Judge Foonermint
Yes, flattery works! More people should try it on me.

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Ahtumbreez 10456 desperate attention whore postings
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03-25-09, 12:09 PM (EST)
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56. "RE: *looks around*"
I'd like to sue Judge Grit, please. I'm not sure on what basis but I'd like the penalty to be a tar and feathering.


Mangalicious by The Slice
09/25/2008 Bre left for Iraq
04/29/2009 Bre leaves Iraq

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foonermints 14531 desperate attention whore postings
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03-25-09, 12:28 PM (EST)
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58. "RE: *reviews papers*"
Tar and Feathering eh? You appear to be biased toward Kingfish. Something about tickling and peeing?

*adjusts googely glasses*

»I'm here today to sue everyone of OT, except you of course«

Oh! Well that included ME, yesterday, didn't it?
Baliff, take Tummy to the Gallows!

FoonerJustice!
Some days you can't win, sweetie.

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Ahtumbreez 10456 desperate attention whore postings
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03-25-09, 12:46 PM (EST)
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60. "RE: *reviews papers*"
For what it's worth - you were exempt without saying.

*goes to gallows kicking and screaming - can I at least have some bling with my manacles?


Mangalicious by The Slice
09/25/2008 Bre left for Iraq
04/29/2009 Bre leaves Iraq

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kingfish 20752 desperate attention whore postings
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03-25-09, 01:34 PM (EST)
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63. "RE: *reviews papers*"
Point of order...

Kingfish also advocates short hair hanging when the crime is of sufficient major-ness.

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Ahtumbreez 10456 desperate attention whore postings
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03-25-09, 01:36 PM (EST)
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65. "RE: *reviews papers*"
Does that get me extra bling? or just short hair?


Mangalicious by The Slice
09/25/2008 Bre left for Iraq
04/29/2009 Bre leaves Iraq

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jbug 17146 desperate attention whore postings
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03-25-09, 01:35 PM (EST)
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64. "Let's go Tummy"
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Ahtumbreez 10456 desperate attention whore postings
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03-25-09, 01:40 PM (EST)
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66. "RE: Let's go Tummy"
*gasps
*faints

Wait! I didn't even get a trial. What kind of monkey poop court are you guys!?


Mangalicious by The Slice
09/25/2008 Bre left for Iraq
04/29/2009 Bre leaves Iraq

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jbug 17146 desperate attention whore postings
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03-25-09, 01:56 PM (EST)
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68. "RE: Let's go Tummy"
Baliff, take Tummy to the Gallows!

I was just following orders.......

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Ahtumbreez 10456 desperate attention whore postings
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03-25-09, 02:15 PM (EST)
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70. "RE: Let's go Tummy"
So that's your out for any misconduct, eh? Not to worry that it just involves me swaying in the breeze, and not the kind of swayin' one would do on a rope swing over the river type of swayin'.


Mangalicious by The Slice
09/25/2008 Bre left for Iraq
04/29/2009 Bre leaves Iraq

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jbug 17146 desperate attention whore postings
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03-25-09, 02:27 PM (EST)
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72. "RE: Let's go Tummy"
Okay, chop down the gallows; we'll go with this kinda swinging
(unless you have something else in mind )

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Ahtumbreez 10456 desperate attention whore postings
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03-25-09, 02:49 PM (EST)
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74. "RE: Let's go Tummy"
Now that's what I'm talking about!


Mangalicious by The Slice
09/25/2008 Bre left for Iraq
04/29/2009 Bre leaves Iraq

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jbug 17146 desperate attention whore postings
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03-25-09, 02:56 PM (EST)
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75. "RE: Let's go Tummy"
another kind of swinger
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foonermints 14531 desperate attention whore postings
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03-25-09, 03:00 PM (EST)
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76. "RE: Let's go Tummy"
LAST EDITED ON 03-25-09 AT 03:07 PM (EST)

Does this involve disrobement?

foonermint: peeking at things with naughty glee
eta: since Tribe made it possible

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jbug 17146 desperate attention whore postings
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03-25-09, 03:37 PM (EST)
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77. "RE: Let's go Tummy"
You're the one wearing the robe now, aren't you?


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foonermints 14531 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

03-25-09, 03:44 PM (EST)
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79. "Yes"
I am, and I'm keeping it on.
Must be more hangin' to do.
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jbug 17146 desperate attention whore postings
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03-25-09, 03:59 PM (EST)
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80. "RE: Yes"
this thread is not going to stay pg13 if we keep talking about swinging and hanging
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foonermints 14531 desperate attention whore postings
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03-25-09, 02:13 PM (EST)
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69. "RE: Let's go Tummy"
I would swoop in here and save you, but after that monkey poop comment, I can't.
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Ahtumbreez 10456 desperate attention whore postings
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03-25-09, 02:16 PM (EST)
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71. "RE: Let's go Tummy"
*snort So you couldn't even give me a monkey poop block?


Mangalicious by The Slice
09/25/2008 Bre left for Iraq
04/29/2009 Bre leaves Iraq

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foonermints 14531 desperate attention whore postings
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03-25-09, 02:31 PM (EST)
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73. "RE: Let's go Tummy"
I could, but would you really want blocked monkey poop?


Remember what happened to Bruce?

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byoffer 15947 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

03-25-09, 03:43 PM (EST)
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78. "RE: Let's go Tummy"
*applauds use of siggie*


It's Bachelor Love, which is like Monopoly Money in that it has no actual value outside the game. - frodis

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