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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
attention-seekers pretending to be one big happy PG/PG13-rated family. Don't
be fooled. Trying to get everyone to agree with you is like herding cats,
but intolerance for other viewpoints is NOT welcome and respect for other
posters IS required at all times. Jump in and play, and you'll soon find out
how easy it is to fit in, but save your drama for your mama. All members are
encouraged to read the
complete guidelines.
As entertainment critic Roger
Ebert once said, "If you disagree with something I write, tell me so, argue
with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."
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"Judge Grit"
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Buggy 5089 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-24-09, 08:39 AM (EST)
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4. "Buggy v Furniture Manager" |
I have a gripe against the Furniture Manager ( to be known as FM) at my work. I believe I have a case.On a Day last week ( let's call it Monday) Buggy was asked by the Manager on Duty ( MOD) to go to the Bank with the FM. This is a common request , and 2 employees go to the bank everyday. The Bank is across the street from the store, and the usual banking run takes about 10 - 15 minutes. On this day Buggy ( the lowly associate) was riding in the Furniture Manager's vehicle, and was at no time in control of the transportation. After the banking business was complete the FM decided he wanted to go get an Iced Tea, conversation went like this FM - I don't feel good today, I think I want to go get a tea. Buggy - now? FM - Yeah, the MOD won't mind BUggy - I don't know, sometimes she's pretty grumpy FM - Eh I don't care ( note that they do not get along) So off we go about 2 miles down the hwy to the place he wants a tea from ( because he likes their tea better than the close by place), and it begins to rain, hard. We are on the main hwy that runs through my town and it's nearly noon so traffic starts to back up. I am a nervous wreck at this point, and when we arrive at the drive-thru resturant he asks me if I want a tea, he says he is buying. I accept ( and in hindsight this was my mistake). We return to the place of employment and even though I don't check my watch I am sure we've been gone at least 35 mintues. FM drops me off at the door with the bank bag ( as is customary, and per procedure), I enter the store by myself as he parks his vehicle. When I enter the MOD is standing by the door waiting for me, sees the tea in my hand and says MOD - So, you went on a little field trip did you? Buggy - FM decided he wanted to go get a tea. MOD - On my time? You went on MY TIME?! Buggy - I wasn't driving I hand her the bag and go back to work. Later the FM asks me if MOD was mad. And I say yes, I was in trouble. FM laughs, and says the MOD never said a word to him. I believe I deserve some kind of compensation for this. I am a lowly associate who was put in a bad spot out of my control by the FM. The MOD no longer trusts me and constantly checks on my work, and has been really un-friendly to me since this incident. ( I mean really un-friendly, and this is not a person you want to be on the bad side of) I have always done my job and until now have had the trust of all the managers. Please Judge Grit, hear my case and advise me, and grant me a settlement in my favor. Oh wise and wonderful Judge Grit, may I add that you are looking very nice today.

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grit 4868 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Stuff Magazine Centerfold"
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03-24-09, 08:48 AM (EST)
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7. "RE: Buggy v Furniture Manager" |
Oh, this is an easy one. Judgment for the plaintiff. FM is a douchebag.The defendant is ordered to pay in the following manner: Should the MOD ever request that you accompany the FM to the bank again, you should definitely accept. Bring along a drink (soda is good, a milk-based drink is much better). Also, put some sort of food item that will rot to a lovely odor in a small brown lunch bag and tuck it into your pocketbook. When FM is not looking, shove the bag as far under the seat as you can. Then, when the FM is driving, as soon as he hits the slightest bump or curve, spill your drink all over him and the car seat. There, you have instant and future revenge. Then, when you get back to work, complain to the MOD that the real reason you were late last time was because the FM was making sexual advances towards you and he did it again on this trip.  I got sliced!
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Buggy 5089 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-24-09, 08:57 AM (EST)
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15. "RE: Buggy v Furniture Manager" |
AWESOME!I love the spilling of the drink idea since he is a rather jerky driver anyway. Thank YOU Judge Grit! 
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kingfish 20752 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-24-09, 08:43 AM (EST)
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5. "RE: Judge Grit" |
Plaintiff:Well, first your honor, I just want to say that I love you and I watch your show every day. I think you are wise, beautiful, and, say, have you lost some weight? Why I declare, I think you have. And to think I thought you were perfect before. My goodness! May I name my children after you? Thank you your honor. Anyway, that tramp over there, she borrowed my rent money to pay her drug bill and bail her ho daughter out of jail. That's right your honor, I was just leaving church one day when she drove up in a stolen car with her crack head gang banging friends and asked could I give her the money I was holding for my rent. She promised that she would give it back when she got her tax return back, and that would be before the rent came due. Your honor, she swore on her grandmother’s grave! Right there in front of a church! Well, I heard from my cousin that she was buying drugs and getting her ho crackhead daughter out of jail so that her pimp crackhead boyfriend could ho her out for more drug money. I could hardly believe it, you honor, she actually lied to me and now I can't pay my rent. Defendant’s Rebuttal
Thank you your honor, and I just want to say I love you more than that ho biotch crackhead over there does, and I watch you show every day too. And if I could just get the name of your hair dresser, I mean I've never seen such perfect hair, your honor. Anyway, that ho biotch slut crackhead is lying, and she didn’t give me no money. And if she did, then it was a present because she thinks she is the god-mother of my daughter (but she really ain't, your honor), and she wanted to help her get out of jail because she felt guilty that the police arrested her thinking she was arresting the Plaintiff! That's right your honor, the plaintiff is the ho, and she should pay me for my mental distress.
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kingfish 20752 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-24-09, 09:08 AM (EST)
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20. "RE: Judge Grit" |
The plaintiff and defendent in unison, because neither actually know who is what, and they both think they might have won...."Thank you your honor." "You want to buy some crack, I need some rent money?" "Is that cute baliff married? Happily married? Maybe he just wants a date?"
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Ahtumbreez 10456 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-24-09, 08:48 AM (EST)
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6. "RE: Judge Grit" |
LAST EDITED ON 03-24-09 AT 08:50 AM (EST)Your Honor - I'm here today to sue everyone of OT, except you of course. I don't really have a case but I will make one up if you feel I need to. In fact if you give me enough time I could probably make a case against every individual here, except you, of course. My main thought is that I just think it would be really cool if all of OT owed me, and in answer to that unasked question I see in your font, yes I'll go halvsies with you. So there's my plea. I throw myself on the mercy of the court to find in my favor. *throws self down in front of Judge Grit ala Tatiana Mangalicious by The Slice 09/25/2008 Bre left for Iraq 04/29/2009 Bre leaves Iraqeta a 'll
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grit 4868 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Stuff Magazine Centerfold"
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03-24-09, 08:52 AM (EST)
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9. "RE: Judge Grit" |
*throws self down in front of Judge Grit ala Tatiana**rolls eyes* Geez, throwing yourself on the floor, crying, and speaking Spanish will get you NOWHERE in my court, missy. Judgment for the defendants (all of OT). I now invite everyone on OT to approach the bench to ask for damages.  I got sliced!
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kingfish 20752 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-24-09, 09:00 AM (EST)
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16. "RE: Judge Grit" |
I ask that I be allowed to feather tickle her tummy until she pees, as punishment. And that I be allowed to post the video on U-tube.
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Ahtumbreez 10456 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-24-09, 09:17 AM (EST)
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21. "RE: Judge Grit" |
Estimado Juez -- Usted sucketh mucho y espero que nadie le pide su ayuda. Mangalicious by The Slice 09/25/2008 Bre left for Iraq 04/29/2009 Bre leaves Iraq When I get upset not only does my accent show but I lose all concept of the English language.You OTer's out there, just remember, if you throw yourself on the mercy of that Ho Judge's court you might get the blueberry shaft!
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kingfish 20752 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-24-09, 05:36 PM (EST)
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50. "RE: Objection, Your Honor" |
LAST EDITED ON 03-24-09 AT 05:37 PM (EST)Your honor, we are filing a Writ of Corpulence due to a technicality. The despondent, Cayaha, has misspelled his name, thus rendering the appellation mute and disconfiguring the appertenance of the affair. Your's truly, Kingfish of the lawfirm Kingfish, Fishwoman, Maroonclown fish, Crabman, Wally the Whale, et al.

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kingfish 20752 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-25-09, 08:57 AM (EST)
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53. "RE: Objection again, Your Honor!" |
I call MaroonClownfish's Mom as a witness...."Tell the court on your own words, Mrs M.C. Fish... <whispered aside - my what a fine dress you're wearing, have I ever told you what a remarkable figure you have?>) ...what foul and illegal deed you witnessed by the resplendent on the morning of March 14th, 2009." "Tell the judge what loathsome act of cowardice you witnessed the despicable corresplendent do in the alley behind Fred's Diner, and please be as graphic as possible! Lay out in precise detail the way the corpusclent defendant actually said the Judge was fat and was wearing a wig to cover-up her bald spot. A shameful lie as we all know and can attest to ourselves, uttered with preordained malificense and with perfect calamity of mind, by the deflectant." "And is it you opinion Madam, that is, do you agree with every other sane person on earth, that the wascally wabbit should be hung by his short hairs until he says he's very very very very sorry? Like he really really really really means it?" "Thank you. Your witness, Mr Defender of Satan and other baddies."
Foonered by conductor!
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cahaya 19891 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-25-09, 04:39 PM (EST)
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81. "Objection denied" |
Mr Defender of Satan and other baddies.There, Honourable Ma'am, are the offendant's character witnesses, who no doubt offered you, shall we way, certain incentives to rule in their favour. Dismemberment isn't a very pleasant prospect, after all. Nonetheless, what is claimed is all hearsay (heresay, too) and, I may add, a total fabrication without a single Exhibit A presented before Your Honour.  Passengers on fooner's crazytrain
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Lasann 3616 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge"
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03-24-09, 08:49 AM (EST)
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8. "Buckets" |
Your honor,I have buckets - many buckets. I believe in buckets that must be left inside for chores such as cleaning walls and floors. Then I believe in buckets which should be left outside for many various chores such as lawn work, keeping my gardening tools in one place, cleaning of siding - you get the idea. Well when a person living or visiting my house used an indoor bucket outdoors I would buy another indoor bucket. Now I'm on a limited income. Yesterday I had NO indoor buckets so I washed one (ick) to use on the kitchen floor. I did a thorough job and even sprayed it with anti-bacterial spray before using. I'm not entirely happy with this *stained* but clean bucket. Will you make an order that the next person who, without regard for my sensibilities, takes my newly cleaned indoor bucket or any new bucket I purchase for indoor - outdoor, will either: 1. Buy me a new bucket 2. Be my slave for a week which includes sterilization of said buck. 3. Sleep outside for two days. -or- apply your own justice. Thank you your honor.
Sharnina has outdone herself this time! Bounced by IceCat!!!
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samboohoo 17173 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-24-09, 09:01 AM (EST)
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18. "RE: Buckets" |
I completely side with you.The same can be said about brooms. There are certain brooms for the inside and certain brooms for the outside. One should never bring an outside broom inside. And one most certainly should never use the good inside broom to sweep the garage.
*smooches Agman*
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Devious Weasel 18756 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-24-09, 10:23 AM (EST)
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28. "RE: Judge Grit" |
Oh it's a case, Dear Abby. It's a bad case. It's a bad case of annoying her...
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grit 4868 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Stuff Magazine Centerfold"
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03-24-09, 10:37 AM (EST)
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33. "RE: Judge Grit" |
Admit it, there's a secret part of you that loves to be abused by estee.
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grit 4868 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Stuff Magazine Centerfold"
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03-24-09, 10:43 AM (EST)
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38. "RE: Judge Grit" |
I've been called worse. In fact, right here on OT...
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arkiegrl 9421 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-24-09, 11:52 AM (EST)
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42. "RE: Judge Grit" |
*snort* They've got to keep bringing Frenchie back for more shows, just for the subtitles.
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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-24-09, 12:05 PM (EST)
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43. "RE: Judge Grit" |
I almost used her quote to start the first-ever 'DeCaption This' thread. What is this woman saying? Can you guess? Can anyone?
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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-25-09, 01:32 PM (EST)
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62. "RE: Judge Grit" |
The eternal issue with the Mints: 'Yeah, but which one do you ban?'
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foonermints 14531 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-24-09, 10:22 AM (EST)
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27. "RE: Judge Grit" |
Save Me Jeebuz Help Me Judge Grit!! I've been forced to work with an idiot. He's an Army Ranger Jumpmaster who is trying to design a SpecOps backpack. I've been designing backpacks longer than this guy has been jumping out of planes, and by the way, how smart is jumping out of a plane, anyway? For fair consideration in this court I will call him Oaf. He reminds me of another fellow I will call Ox, who had the voice of ten men and the strength of three. It doesn't count, because if you tie their shoelaces together all you'll hear is the same old thud. So, I have to fix all the screwups that Oaf has made on his "Genius Design". The guy is lazy. He farms out the work he should be doing himself, walks around the shop making blabbing noises, and takes credit for the work of all the rest of us toiling slaves. Fix this bastaad for me, and I will be forever grateful. But not Dead Grateful, as I wouldn't want to appear inappropriate.
CTgirl Margarita Chupacabra habla naughty palabras!
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foonermints 14531 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-25-09, 11:54 AM (EST)
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54. "*looks around*" |
*grins at empty courtroom* *puts on robe and bangs gavel* WooT! Judge Foonermint!
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foonermints 14531 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-25-09, 12:13 PM (EST)
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57. "RE: the Baliff" |
Who's first on the chopping block?
dJudge foonermint is a hanging judge.
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grit 4868 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Stuff Magazine Centerfold"
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03-25-09, 12:38 PM (EST)
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59. "RE: the Baliff" |
The Plaintiff: Grit Nature of complaint: Her husband does not apologize when he’s wrong.The Defendant: Stoopidhead Defense: None, other than the fact that he’s a stoopid German. The facts: When grit & stoopidhead get in an argument, stoopidhead will adopt a stubborn attitude and insist that his way is the right way and no other point of view can ever be considered. He will get loud and obnoxious and say hurtful things to grit. Then stoopidhead will stop talking to grit. If stoopidhead truly believes he’s right and grit is wrong, he will eventually insist on talking through the problem until grit admits the error of her ways and apologizes. Stoopidhead will not apologize, however, for the hurtful things that he said. However, if during the silent treatment stoopidhead realizes that he was wrong, he will suddenly talk to grit like nothing happened. No apology. No nothing. We had a knock-down, drag-out fight on the ski slopes on Saturday. I took a spill. I knew why it happened. I was shifting my weight because I was turning and I hit a huge pile of mashed potato snow. It was kind of unavoidable and explained to him why it happened. But he starts yelling that it happened because I was doing something wrong (something that was taught to me by a trained ski instructor). I pointed out the logic of what I was doing but he said he’s more athletic than I am, that he’s a gifted black belt and knows much more about balance than I ever could and I could tell he wouldn’t listen to a word I said because he’s so much “smarter” than I am. He wouldn’t talk to me for the rest of the day. So when I was off with one of my daughters without stoopidhead, I said to her, “See those skiers on the black diamonds? They’re doing exactly what dad told me was wrong.” So every trip up the mountain on the chair lift, I would point it out to my daughter and say, “Huh. Look at that. See what they’re doing?” Eventually stoopidhead caught on to what I was pointing out and realized that 99% of the skiers were doing exactly what I had been doing. He started talking to me again, no mention of the argument, no apology, no concession that I was right. Damages: I ask that the court be generous in awarding me damages in this incident. I trust that Judge Fooner will be very imaginative with the punishment. Thank you for your time and may I say that you are definitely looking very sexy today, Judge Fooner.  I got sliced!I won't get all Tatiana on you. I know how people hate that... *squints at you-know-who*
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kingfish 20752 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-25-09, 01:26 PM (EST)
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61. "RE: the Baliff" |
LAST EDITED ON 03-25-09 AT 01:32 PM (EST)Kingfish, as representative of the Pelagic Foundation, would like to submit our briefs to be cleaned. (And them ain't gravy stains either!) as a friend of the court. (giggle). Our briefs are in support of the suit worn by the plaintiff. (giggle giggle) We would like to see a summary judgement in the case of..... Boinking Boinking boinkity boinkity boinky boinky... (runs from courtroom, mad giggling!)
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foonermints 14531 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-25-09, 01:55 PM (EST)
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67. "This Is" |
LAST EDITED ON 03-25-09 AT 03:17 PM (EST)Absolutely dreadful! Being from an Austrian background I know how Dunderheaded Deutchlanders can be. I hope he's not Bayrisch. Those people can't even speak properly, and if he is it's better if he does clam up. "The Silent Treatment" is an evil, sneaky backstabbing ploy used by husbands to infuriate. They think that by infuriation the pent up anxiety will result in uncontrolled, wild nookie. It does, but only as a solitary event. As for damages.. yes! I decree that the Know-It-All Dunderhead have his Dunderhead replaced by a block of wood. A hardwood of your choice, and be carved into the likeness of James Bond. For his last meal I will prepare a pot roast, and followed by a short hanging, then the rest of him should be ready for the replacement head. "Hang 'em High" ~Judge Foonermint Yes, flattery works! More people should try it on me.
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foonermints 14531 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-25-09, 12:28 PM (EST)
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58. "RE: *reviews papers*" |
Tar and Feathering eh? You appear to be biased toward Kingfish. Something about tickling and peeing?*adjusts googely glasses* »I'm here today to sue everyone of OT, except you of course«Oh! Well that included ME, yesterday, didn't it? Baliff, take Tummy to the Gallows! FoonerJustice! Some days you can't win, sweetie. 
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jbug 17146 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-25-09, 03:37 PM (EST)
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77. "RE: Let's go Tummy" |
You're the one wearing the robe now, aren't you?
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jbug 17146 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-25-09, 03:59 PM (EST)
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80. "RE: Yes" |
this thread is not going to stay pg13 if we keep talking about swinging and hanging
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foonermints 14531 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-25-09, 02:13 PM (EST)
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69. "RE: Let's go Tummy" |
I would swoop in here and save you, but after that monkey poop comment, I can't.
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p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
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