ROFLMAO I have one word for this summary: Boomchickabowow! Loved this summary from start to finish. I will list some of my favorite lines:

Ted pleads with the boat to return. The boat refuses to take his calls and files a restraining order.

Brian: Breast stroke! Breast! Stroke! Stroke! Oh, YEEESSSS!!!!! <Boomchickabowow>

Whales all over the world file lawsuits for defamation of character.

Brian: ... Oscar M. Wiener - so I immediately thought they might like to eat it.

It turns out that Clay is the smartest person on the island. I think that statement speaks for itself.

Robb leaves the Tribal Council area immediately, if “immediately” means after ten minutes of schmoozing and blubbering.

Also loved Robb’s only friends (the chickens), the banana-grabbing scene, Shii Ann's just-barely-above-Robb-in-the-pecking-order, Jeff's member/positions/score speech, the struggle for balls, and then the final satisfying climax, Ted's 100 million speech, Clay demonstrating wrongness in general, Robb the prissy boy (I guess he isn't mature enough to be a girly man), Helen thinking that Clay had finally succumbed, and Shii Ann’s legendary smarts failing her.

OK, I was trying not to repeat the WHOLE thing but it looks like I wasn't successful.

“She’s a beauty queen gone bad!” -- Marcellus about Amy.