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"Cassie's Big Day is Here!"
snowflake2 1499 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson"
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05-01-06, 01:30 PM (EST)
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"Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
Since the other thread is quite long, and discusses the background of Cassie's adoption situation, I hope it's okay to start this thread about Cassie's actual first meeting with her son, which took place on today's show.How did y'all judge it to have gone? I thought it went exceptionally well. Cassie seemed to acknowledge that this might all be very overwhelming for her son, who until recently, didn't even know his birth mother was still alive. She did tell Dustin that the direction their "relationship" would take was up to him---although I do think she would be very disappointed if he chooses not to pursue an active relationship with her. It was touching when Dustin told Cassie that she was "breathtaking" and that he was proud of her for getting her GED. The poster who said that SO would probably pixelate Dustin's face was not far off...they did NOT show his face on camera.
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Zoey 326 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Cooking Show Host"
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05-01-06, 02:27 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
I think it went really well. Like SF said, I was touched at the comments that Dustin made to Cassie and that he was seemingly touched by her poem and other gifts. I thought that Dr. Stan's warning to her was wise and that SO (or she should privately) continue to get counceling for the relationship between them that lies ahead. So often these reunions don't work out in the long run. My guess is because of high expectations, family interference, distance, possible resentment that wasn't presented earlier...I don't think it's going to be easy. I also wonder about Cassie. She's been fighting to clean up her life and find her son for so long, so, now what? What if her ultimate fantasies aren't fulfilled? Her goal to find her son is over. I think that regarless of how their relationship works out that she may have an empty feeling, not having anything to cling onto any more. I know it seems like it would be a weight off anyone's shoulders but that was her motivation. I believe Cassie has a good heart and that she can express to the life coaches a realistic outlook. However, I'm not sure that she can live that way in the long run. I don't mean to be negative, this is what she's always wanted and I'm happy for her but I am also concerned for her still.
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snowflake2 1499 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson"
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05-01-06, 02:55 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
Yes, it was touching that Cassie gave him the "gold leaf" that held so much significance to her. Also, that he ended the meeting with picking her up and saying, "I gotta pick up mini-me" or something to that effect. He actually seemed a lot like Cassie to me...he was pretty sentimental for a guy that age, although he admitted he's not good at expressing his emotions. Cassie mentioned to the housemates that he said something like, "Every night I go to sleep with a empty spot in my heart, and it won't be there tonight...". I guess I can see how expectations could be running very high for both Dustin and Cassie. And sometimes when you've achieved something that you've built up in your mind for so long (like Cassie) there can be a letdown afterwards. I'm glad that Dr. Stan is there to help Cassie, but a part of me wanted to see her be allowed to enjoy "the moment" a little longer. Did anyone think that Dustin's girlfriend looked a little like a young Cassie, with the very blonde hair, etc. Is she the person Cassie spoke to on the phone in order to get in touch with Dustin? Bet the adoptive mom hates her now.
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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
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05-01-06, 03:03 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
Hopefully they both will continue with counseling and that may have been one of the adoptive mother's concerns as well. I don't know how good he's been about staying with the programs they've tried so far to get him help. If he's been someone who goes and stops she may be worried that he'll meet with Cassie see their counselor once, drop it and have even more issues unresolved to deal with, who knows. Sometimes teenagers think there is a better solution than the hard road to take, an easier parent that will tell them what they want to hear, etc. I think Dr. Stan was kind of warning Cassie about that today. Dustin may be going through some tough love with his adoptive mother right now and it may be at the suggestion of his therapist, not just because she's a mean person. Cassie will need to respect what the therapists tell her about what Dustin needs to recover and become whole and not become an enabler in his life so that he will love her. That is not an easy thing to do especially when she so desparatly wants his love.
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shawnar 366 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Cooking Show Host"
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05-01-06, 03:05 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
I thought it went really well. I was very touched that she gave him the gold leaf because it does have a lot of meaning to her. I cried when she read the poem. Yes, his girlfriend did look a little like Cassie. She seemed to be really supportive of him. I loved it at the end when he picked her up! So sweet!! I can't wait till my boys get big enough to do that to me! I did notice a few awkward moments but understandably so. I liked Dr. Stans advice I love that he gives practical and realistic advice.
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Boots12565 195 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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05-01-06, 10:31 PM (EST)
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28. "RE: Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
Ya-I thought the mini-me comment was SO cute-I think they made a connection!!!Looking forward to future Info -For SURE!PEACE
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myduo 3 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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05-01-06, 07:32 PM (EST)
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20. "RE: Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
I for one have had enough of this stalker. She has met her son, now let us be done with her. Please!!!
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Texas_2_step 12 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
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05-01-06, 03:51 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
I wish all the best to Cassie and her son. They both have a hard road ahead of them. Many unsolved issues that will take time. But I think Cassie knew deep in her heart that she will not step back in his life and be super mom. I'm sure her son has some resentment that he may not of voiced today and will come out later. I guess this is a web of deceit and lies from the adopted parents. The adopted adgence supposely said it was a open adpotion. Lot of work and stuff we will never see. Good Luck Cassie but keep it real like today.
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crazydogg 9 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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05-01-06, 05:12 PM (EST)
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15. "RE: Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
>I wish all the best to >Cassie and her son. They >both have a hard road >ahead of them. Many >unsolved issues that will take >time. But I think Cassie >knew deep in her heart >that she will not step >back in his life and >be super mom. I'm sure >her son has some resentment >that he may not of >voiced today and will come >out later. I guess this >is a web of deceit >and lies from the adopted >parents. The adopted adgence supposely > said it was a >open adpotion. Lot of work >and stuff we will never >see. Good Luck Cassie but >keep it real like today. >I have not always been Cassie's biggest fan, but I do believe that she has only the best intentions and she does really love her son. I am adopted and my mother has never serched for me (maybe she is dead) and I know this because I and my adoptive parents signed a waiver at the adoption agency when I was 18, to contact us If my birth mother ever tried to locate me. That was 20 years ago. No matter what she was/is like, if I knew that she thought about me sometimes, it would be nice. Cassie's love for her son is touching to me, and I hope things go well for both of them in the future. BTW, I had a wonderful childhood and have always known I am adopted. The adoptive parents were absolutly detrimental to thier son, whom they are supposed to love, by not telling him this. I wish Cassie the best, even though she can be very annoying. She does truly love her son.
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SeasonedRefinement 1248 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
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05-01-06, 05:39 PM (EST)
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18. "RE: Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
I'm a sucker for any reunion moment. Isn't it cool to watch someone as they step into their "dream moment"? Like Cassie or hate her, we can all relate to the natural high that accompanies those rare monumental moments in life . The woman was beaming.I don't know a lot of the particulars concerning this meeting, but on the surface, everything looked positive. Dustin made gestures that went beyond being polite, like lifting Cassie off of the floor when he embraced her, and telling her she was breathtaking. I know Cassie was told to let Dustin lead the conversation, but it didn't seem as though Dustin was really able to do that. Maybe it was editing, or maybe it was just an incredibly nervous nineteen year old, but it seemed as though Cassie prevented a lot of awkward conversation gaps, lol. So, all in all, this was a shining moment for Cassie, Dustin, Rhonda, and Starting Over. I hate to be negative, but...there is a burning question: Where will it go from here? A backlash is inevitable. Will Cassie be able to maintain her composure when that backlash touches her? When the cameras are off, will Cassie be as willing to put a positive spin on the actions of Dustin's mother, regardless of how bad they make Cassie look? Will she be able to truly live by what she claims is her primary motive - to be a no-pressure support for Dustin? Will she stay out of any argument Dustin and his mother are having if Cassie is the subject of the argument? Will she be able to look him in the eye and say, "I don't know" when Dustin wants to know the identity of his biological father? Dustin's mother may never be able to fully accept Cassie's use of the words, "my son" when Cassie refers to Dustin. Actually, it probably makes her blood boil. She may never be able to support Dustin's kindness towards Cassie, and she may always throw verbal barbs in Cassie's direction. Without knowing the truth, I do feel for this woman - if for no other reason than she had Starting Over as an uninvited presence in her life. I hope Cassie can negotiate this. I wish I didn't have a bad feeling about this whole thing, especially in light of how magical the atmosphere was on today's show. BTW: Do you guys think Dustin's voice was altered to protect his identity? It sounded so halting, and he sounded like he was slurring his words. Cleverone: Pre-empting this particular show was a cruel joke, lol. With Nascar? After all of the time the viewers have invested in this storyline, it's only fair to allow everyone to see the grand finale....but who ever said TV is fair? Sorry you missed it, but it will probably be shown in reruns. This was one of their better shows. *******************************************
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Zoey 326 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Cooking Show Host"
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05-01-06, 04:08 PM (EST)
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12. "RE: Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
That's why I think there should be proper counceling, for reunions like this. Many reunions don't go well in the long run. I think ongoing councelling and tackling the problem areas that deteriorate these relationships (or prevent them from building to begin with) should be addressed.As far as Cassie being a victim - I think Cassie had her problems before she ever had Dustin and that once she had him and gave him up, it may have made her make poor decisions to numb her pain, which was worse than before she gave him up. But this was her decision. I think we're hearing Cassie's side of the story as she is the one on the show. But I think the adoptive parents also have a valid story and so does Dustin (regarding both Cassie and his adoptive parents). I don't think there are necessarily rights or wrongs to this story, just different perceptions. I think some decisions (on both parts) were selfish and some out of protection (again, on both parts). I think I'm seeing more and more that while Cassie may have been playing the victim, Dustin's adoptive parents may have had valid cause to keep her away. But I don't think it makes it any less painful for Cassie after she cleaned her life up - the adoptive parents don't really know that for sure and probably have a cemented profile of who they think Cassie is. It may not be fair to Cassie (hence her victim status) but you can't blame the adoptive parents for wanting to protect their son. Like I said, different perceptions. But seeing Cassie's story makes me believe that she deserves a chance.
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jonimoni 136 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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05-01-06, 10:59 PM (EST)
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29. "RE: Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
I guess the thing that really got to me was Cassie's whole "your mother was just trying to protect you" thing. This after St. Cassie has through three visits had nothing but NASTY things to say about her....funny. I also would love to ask her how she loved him every minute since he was born, she sure did so much to show that love. She had a wonderful chance to continue to be part of his life and flushed it. I am so sorry but her profession of her love for him felt hollow to me. Just as her nice words for the a-mom. I hope this young man gets to see all the SO episodes that Cassie was on, and sees that she in fact was a drug addict for most of the last 20 years, that his mother was indeed doing her best to protect him. I would like him to see that Cassie likes to spin things and is as expert as anyone in Washington DC, so that he can really see who she is....I know it is cold. Still my opinion.
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ladygab 1 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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05-01-06, 05:31 PM (EST)
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17. "RE: Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
From an adopted point of view, at first it is exciting but actually learning about them, makes you think how good you actually had it. It takes sometime, but from my point of view, I went there every weekend. I should say, that my adopted mother had died before I met the extended family, which consisted of 6 children. I got to meet all the children and their grandchildren, and heard many stories. I was sad that I couldn't meet her, but hearing about her, changed my view. I always thought she would be this woman with open arms, but in reality, never talked about me at all. Only one person knew about me, and she told my oldest sister. She didn't know much, but she was looking for me also.I was second to the last child, and only person given up for adoption. I was a product of an affair. I use to love going there and seeing my biological sisters and brothers and nieces and nephews, but I became overwhelmed. If I didn't stay at one sisters house, the other would get mad. I finally stopped going. I can't really say I miss them, but I now know how much love I have from my adopted parents, even though they bought my love, but now we are very close. It was awful for a long time, until I realized how lucky I was. You know the saying, the grass isn't always greener on the other side. I wish Cassie much luck and just don't overwhelm him. Some things are left unsaid, than to say, unless he asks. I wish Dustin much luck, and remember that your adopted parents did the best they could.
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Sues 585 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
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05-01-06, 07:47 PM (EST)
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21. "RE: Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
Couple of things rolling around in my head...They may have disguised Dustin's voice...or not, alot of young men his age talk that way. (I think it comes with the low slung jeans..lol) I think Cassie said all the things she was told to say quite well. What concerns me is her on her own. No Dr.Stan to 'talk her down'...no Rhonda to remind her of what to think or say. Just 'Courageous Cassie' with some bad poetry and overwhelming neediness...with a big dose of hyper thrown in. She still has no job (unless they're saving that for the season finale?) Either way..if SO is truly cancelled, she no longer has a safety net. (or new wardrobe or free rent) I so hope Dustin takes the good Doc's advice and seeks out some help. This is sooooo much for a young person to deal with and he's already had his share of issues. Why aren't we hearing about the bio Dad? Did she ever say who it was? If she doesn't know, how come we didn't see Rhonda or Dr. Stan telling her how to answer that question...since it's a WHOPPER! No matter what we think of the Mom...she's got to be fuming...and hurt...and scared. And now this poor kid has to balance them both... I was once again impressed with the good Doc...keeping it real but with a soft touch. A true gentleman who knows what he's doing.....
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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
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05-01-06, 07:58 PM (EST)
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22. "RE: Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
I guess the question is what's the plan for Cassie from here? With SO ending does she have a plan to move on with her own life so that if Dustin wishes to be involved great and if not Cassie can move on without stalking him. No insult to Cassie but it seems this meeting has been her one goal in life and now what? She can't build a life based on Dustin he needs to build his own life with as much or as little Cassie as he chooses. She will need a full life of her own to have something to give to him if he chooses to have her in his life, she can't live just for him, it won't work. So what is she going to do for herself?
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ChristinaJB 158 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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05-02-06, 01:18 AM (EST)
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32. "RE: Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
Kree - I thought so too. So many times we don't get to see someone who has picked themselves back up off the floor after having been nearly raped, abused, a drug user, homeless, etc...and then try a 'do over' at life. She knows she screwed up - and she paid for it. But that doesn't stop her. She got that GED, and it wasn't easy. She kept at it. She found her son and let him know she is alive. If I were her son, I'd want to know my birth mom was alive and available. Why not have as many people in your life as you can to love you? Cassie is by no means perfect or going to do things perfectly, but she has a good heart and a kind spirit and it was so nice to see her beaming and happy and have her son lift her in the air and kiss her forehead. What a sweet moment! GO Cassie Go!
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tac_2 351 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Cooking Show Host"
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05-01-06, 08:29 PM (EST)
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24. "RE: Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
If the ends justify the means then the meeting was a success. But they don't in my book, so I wouldn't be cheering Cassie on but since it's a done deal I would hope she listened well to Dr. Stan's advice and holds off getting too close, too soon. I was particularly glad he mentioned it would be unwise to live with Dustin because with her history, who knows what she had planned. I thought Cassie reading her letter and poem was odd. Why couldn't she just speak from heart without 'notes'? It came off as a scripted and over-rehearsed statement to me. Would that have occurred in a real-life situation, don't think so. At least not during a first meeting. (and Rhonda during the reading, dabbing her tearless eyes, like on cue-lol) Strange and, imo, irresponsible of SO not to blur out Dustin's girlfriends face but maybe they had no written agreement to do that prior to filming. A little detail missed that could easily identify Dustin or even if he didn't care, his mother. Dustin's mother: That is now where my sympathy lies. I really feel she's been screwed and probably has no legal recourse but even if she did, the damage has been done. Rumors/innuendo/the mistress-second wife appearance/ etc.,etc. -- she must have gone through hell during this whole ordeal. I feel for her.
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Boots12565 195 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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05-01-06, 09:29 PM (EST)
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26. "RE: Pics for the Pre-empted" |
OMG!This was the BEST episode EVER!!Dustin was SO GREAT-So was cassie!They both seemed to connect on some level-I hope we get to see them together again-It was a truly HEARTFELT reunion-Im so happy for them both-They do have a long road ahead-For each of them-BUT maybe they can travel it together-Whatever happens what a positive experience for BOTH today!PEACE AT YA
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bellyButton 171 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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05-02-06, 00:04 AM (EST)
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30. "RE: Pics for the Pre-empted" |
SnowFlake...thank you! i waited all wk end to see this show and nasscar won...(very thoughtful of you). bb
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SueNahMe 0 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "New Member"
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05-02-06, 10:12 AM (EST)
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33. "RE: Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
The meeting with Cassie and her son was OK.....not really what I expected, though. It seemed to me like they had already met before the taping, and was just playing it out for the TV audience. It just didn't seem like Cassie was very excited or overjoyed about seeing her son after 16 years. JMHO
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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
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05-02-06, 10:34 AM (EST)
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34. "RE: Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
I was glad the son said he didn't want to go to the SO house for another meeting. If he and Cassie are going to have a relationship it should be done with professional help but not as part of a reality show. I thought it was tacky to have the reunion done on TV to begin with. The fact that Cassie wanted to have a second meeting on TV with him just screamed wrong to me. If they are going to have a relationship, great I hope it works out in a postive fashion. However, why would she want to continue to exploit him on TV and to have his personal life splashed across a reality television show? Hasn't she used his story to get enough attention. She has access to him, she has the offer of professional help to negotiate the next stage, why would she want more TV exposure for this relationship?
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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
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05-02-06, 03:03 PM (EST)
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38. "RE: Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
He just doesn't need to be exploited. His life has been used enough by SO and Cassie to get attention and ratings. If Cassie truly wants a relationship, she's been offered professional help to do so. While she seems to thrive on the cameras and everyone watching her it's time to live the reality of her situation off camera and in the best interest of her son, not SO house.
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SeasonedRefinement 1248 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
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05-02-06, 08:45 PM (EST)
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41. "RE: Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
I like Cassie, despite her Ellie May Clampett voice and that manic "Good Morning, Good Morning" floor show, I still think she is a soft-hearted, naieve woman. I truly felt sorry for her when she was threatened with litigation for wanting to meet the boy she gave birth to. So why is my opinion about this whole thing changing so dramatically? Unfortunately, I now find myself wishing that Cassie would just pack her bags and be on her way. I wish her well, I really do. By all accounts, she is barely surviving on her own, and she has to do more than obsess over this one issue. She has had the "day that will change the rest of her life", and that is a lot to be thankful for. Now it is time for her to go back into the private sector and get the psychological or spiritual help she will need to stick to the no-pressure commitment she made to Dustin. I am concerned with the way SO is portraying the entire process of adoption. It isn't a "really long babysitting job", and it isn't reversable. How many women will look at Cassie and find her situation intolerable? For a woman in crisis, this type of drama may cause her to reject a very positive option. Being an adoptive mother is no less sacred than being a biological mother who raises her child. I know Rhonda keeps reminding Cassie that Dustin's mother IS his mother, but I don't know if Cassie has really accepted the immutability of that truth as she nods her head in agreement. I am beginning to believe that this whole saga seriously dishonors Dustin's mother. Regardless of what Cassie says, I am also beginning to think that her emotional well-being is riding on the development of a Dustin/Cassie relationship. From what we saw and heard on today's episode, Dustin had made tentative plans to come to the SO house to visit Cassie. Apparently, he said that he would call Cassie if he was planning to come to the house. I am concerned that Cassie could not accept the obvious - that no call meant that he wasn't coming. Now I know this may seem minor, but I do think it is significant. Cassie didn't seem to be able to leave it alone - she HAD to call him to hear him give her an answer. Her words were not pressuring, actually they were kind and reassuring. But the fact that Cassie even made the call was a form of pressure. It was based in her fear that Dustin had changed his mind about a future relationship...and she claimed there would be no pressure if that was his decision. Cassie found out that Dustin has had enough of the TV cameras. She also found out that Dustin's mother is "flipping out". All I can believe is that there is much more to this story than any of us will ever know. What is this woman so concerned about? I don't think Dustin's mother is going to start an internet site to give her side of the story, so I want to give her the same benefit of the doubt that I would give to any mother who thought her teenage son was in harm's way. I guess I am uncomfortable with Dustin's mother's motives and actions being interpreted through the SO filters. Yes, Dustin is an adult, legally if not emotionally. But will that help his mother to accept the fact that her son and his girlfriend (who was shown on camera) went behind her back and agreed to participate in a nationally broadcast television reunion show with his birth mother. This is a woman who was told, in no uncertain terms, to back off and leave their family alone. Then she shows up with poetry, a psychologist, her life coach, and tear filled proclamations that she has overcome every roadblock that was erected to keep the two of them apart. PS: his parents were the roadblocks. To Dustin's mother, Cassie is a manipulative woman who has squandered her youth in a drunken fog of alcoholism, promiscuity, broken promises, and homelessness. Yeah, I'd be concerned about her too. Cassie has spent a lot of time discussing Dustin's mother on camera. She's talking to anyone who will listen. Yesterday's attitude that she displayed in front of Dustin, the "your mom was only trying to protect you" sentiment, has turned into today's complaint that "I thought I was signing an open adoption...I lived with these people for two months..." And then Antonia, in all of her debt-ridden glory, offers the counsel that Dustin's mom is so threatened by Cassie that she lied. Then we go back to Cassie in the confessional saying that Dustin's mother has "lied" and that she will have to explain herself to Dustin. I don't know if Cassie is able to comprehend what she is doing. I'm beginning to wonder if she cares. But I truly believe that in the end, the bond with Dustin's adoptive mother is far deeper and much stronger than any curiosity Dustin may have about Cassie. She would do well to stop discussing her theories and beliefs about Dustin's mother on camera - out of respect for Dustin and out of gratitude for a woman who gave her baby boy a life Cassie couldn't begin to provide. Cassie, please....just go home. He has a way to contact you. Stand in the belief you espouse - "in the end, love wins out". *******************************************
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snowflake2 1499 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson"
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05-02-06, 10:11 PM (EST)
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44. "RE: Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
I guess my feelings on the Cassie situation are colored by my impression, which may be totally false, that the adoptive mother is not too far off Cassie's level on the emotional/psychological stability scale.I don't remember the particulars of how Cassie actually found this couple to adopt Dustin, or if it was ever discussed very clearly at all. But I don't think Cassie went through a reputable adoption agency where the prospective couple were extensively screened. I remember when I first heard Cassie's story last season, that I got the impression it was a very "backwoods" kind of agreement, with the couple getting a shady lawyer to draw up some papers for Cassie to sign. How hard could it have been to fool a drugged-out 22 year old Cassie? And Cassie certainly wouldn't have had any guidance from her own mother, who seemed literally retarded when she appeared on the show last season. As I've mentioned before, we haven't seen the adoptive mother, or heard her side of the story. But going just on impressions here, I'm going to guess she must be more or less comparable to Shelly, who was married to the adoptive father after his marriage to the adoptive mother disintegrated, and appeared on the show last season. Now, Shelly seemed a nice enough woman, but she certainly didn't appear to be upper-crust...it might be even stretching it a little to call her middle class. My point is that I don't think the adoptive parents were the kind of ideal parents who could offer Dustin sooo much, although they might have appeared so to a 22 year old Cassie. Remember, at that time, Cassie must have thought they could give Dustin an awesome life simply because they were not homeless like she was. But I think these people---Cassie, Shelly, the adoptive mom and dad---all basically came out of the same bag. If the adoptive mom was so truly horrified by Cassie's lifestyle, and thought she was so unstable, why choose her baby to take, and why let Cassie live in their home while she was pregnant? Why not go through a reputable adoption agency instead, which would limit all this interference from a bothersome birth mother? My guess is that the adoptive parents couldn't pay and/or pass inspection for this type of adoption. Also, didn't they adopt Dustin in an attempt to save their own marriage, if I remember correctly from last season? Doesn't sound like a "stable" reason to adopt a child to me. And didn't the adoptive mom go through a few more husbands after the adoptive father? Doesn't sound like an ideally "stable" situation for Dustin to me. And didn't the adoptive mother once again employ some dubious "legal" methods to prevent Cassie from meeting the son...the notarized letter with Dustin's signature, which was obviously some kind of fraud, since Dustin himself openly declared that he was told Cassie was DEAD, not actively pursuing him on a reality TV show. Why not just legally obtain a restraining order against Cassie, if she could be proven to be that much of a psycho? And for all of the adoptive mom's concerns that Cassie would be such a bad influence on Dustin, didn't Dustin develop drug and alcohol problems anyway, under her own care? I don't think we'll ever know the true story behind all this...LOL, maybe the adoptive father is actually Dustin's biological dad, and that's why the adoptive mom hates Cassie so much, and why they were able to "locate" her baby for adoption.
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vasharpmom 13 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
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05-02-06, 10:44 PM (EST)
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45. "RE: Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
I think you have very valid points!!! I just think we all need to remember that 18 years ago, test tube babies, invitro-fertilization etc. were things of science fiction (or near science, but still with the yuck factor). I was in college around that time and can still remember seeing ads in the college newspaper from "hopefull adoptive parents", some even offering to take "potentially disabled" children. Adoption has become so different now - if you have any doubts, try watching "Adoption Stories" on the Discovery Health Channel. My point in terms of Cassie and her son is that adoption policies and practices change with time. Who knows what agency/lawyer/judge gave the adoptive couple advice based on the tide of thought of the time.
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SeasonedRefinement 1248 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
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05-02-06, 11:20 PM (EST)
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47. "RE: Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
Hey SF, you know that I respect your opinion - I have to. It mirrors mine quite often, LOL.(Sigh) I may be overdosing on this topic. Using references made by total strangers who are citing events and vague conversations that took place decades ago, and after hearing diametrically opposed stories, I'm really trying to reach some kind of conclusion. For me, that becomes more difficult with each episode. It's all so personal, and it should have been a wonderful thing...tinged with sadness...but still wonderful. Apparently, something went wrong here. The saddest thing is that a young man who is already dealing with challenges now finds himself in an unbelievably tough spot. Where is his loyalty supposed to go? I know I wouldn't want to be there. You've asked some good questions. What did happen in 1986 in the backwoods? I know that Cassie's barely functional, quite embarrassing mother was useless. So where did Cassie go when she found out she was pregnant? Where did she meet these people? Did they see a pregnant, homeless girl as a short-cut to a standard, expensive adoption? Why didn't Cassie know that there were countless agencies and attorneys that would adequately represent her, screen prospective parents for her, pay her medical and housing costs, etc? Is it possible that she was drinking heavily during the early trimesters of her pregnancy? Another poster downthread mentioned Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. There are other derivatives of FAS as well, at least five that I saw mentioned. Did Dustin's adoptive parents suspect that this child could be affected by something like that? Was there a question as to Dustin's paternity? Dustin has learning difficulties - is that related to Cassie's alcoholism? Were the parents exploiting a troubled young woman in crisis? Are the adoptive parents irresponsible and flakey, or are they flawed and protective? SO's attorney says the notarized letter looked legit, and that Cassie's only recourse would be to put her name on a birth parents' list and wait for Dustin to call. I thought she did that...then she shows up saying Dustin called her. Dustin said he thought Cassie was dead. Is it possible that Dustin is lying about that? Why would he? Who knows? If we could get the absolute truth to all of these questions, well, maybe none of them would come out smelling like a rose. For now, there are just too many variables. You may have hit the nail on the head, my friend. Perhaps the animosity is based in Dustin's paternity - not his maternity, lol. Stranger things have happened. *******************************************
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maryellennaco 1084 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
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05-02-06, 08:36 PM (EST)
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40. "RE: Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
With you 100% Baxtera!! The best words that came out of his mouth were "I don't want to be on TV" or something like that. I too wonder what Cassie will do now... It seems like it's about 15 minutes past her 15.... Love ya Cassie, mean it.
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vasharpmom 13 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
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05-02-06, 09:22 PM (EST)
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42. "RE: Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
I have to agree with all of the above. I just wanted to add that Cassie's true feelings regarding Dustin's adoptive mom have been well documented throughout her appearances on SO. I can't help but wonder if Dustin's adoptive mom has seen some of her anger/accusations etc. I know Dustin thought Cassie was dead until recently, but he just might find out from SO viewers what Cassie's attitude has been towards his adoptive mom. Cassie's feelings may or may not be justified ... I don't think that matters at this point. If SO really wanted to help Cassie, they would have edited her early comments so they would never come back to hurt not just Cassie, but also her son. Perhaps this wouldn't be great for ratings, but it just might be more productive for any future relationship between Cassie and her son.
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jonimoni 136 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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05-02-06, 09:50 PM (EST)
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43. "RE: Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
LAST EDITED ON 05-02-06 AT 10:11 PM (EST)LAST EDITED ON 05-02-06 AT 10:07 PM (EST) I agree sharpmom. NOW, Rhonda is telling Cassie to honor the a-mom???? NOW?? How about all the months past when St. Cassie was going on and on about how evil she was?? Dustin met with her and if he chooses now to take their relationship slowly it is still all about the evil amom....ooohhhh. What about Cassie ONLY needing to meet him? Ohhhhh, I guess it might REALLY have been about more than that. Huh, funny, didn't see that coming. I know I sound angry, but SO has been so remiss in allowing this chick to force herself into this young mans life, imo. Rhonda tells Cassie twice today that the adoptive mom has power over him and only once that it is as it should be because she is his mother. Then Cassie says that a mother can love more than one child why can't a child love more than one mother? WTF? Well, Cassie, it is like this, you gave birth to him but that does not give you the same impact on his life as the woman who was there day in and out with him for 20 years. She still does not get that she can be a great friend, like a favorite auntie, but never in the same place in his heart that the mother holds. Would have been nice for Rah-rah Rhonda to tell her that, no? Oh, and Cassie lived with them for two months?? Wasn't it much,much longer in the last incarnation(s) of this story?? So she was most likely only clean for 2 months now...think about that. First it was something like 7 months she lived with them.....this woman could not tell the truth if her life depended on it, and Dustin's mental health does depend on this woman telling the truth now. This gives much more weight to the a-moms feeling that Dustin's health may have been compromised by fetal alcohol syndrome, et-al. Does it not? edited to make better sense, I was kind of torqued up after I watched my tivo....sorry. ;(
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snowflake2 1499 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson"
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05-03-06, 07:40 PM (EST)
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58. "RE: Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
LAST EDITED ON 05-03-06 AT 07:45 PM (EST)Baxtera wrote: <<As for judging the people based on the second wife I haven't found a mistresss to be a good judge of the wife's character.>> -------------------------------------------------- Hi Baxtera! I wasn't using Shelly as a yardstick of the adoptive mom's character; I just meant that Shelly looked, well, kind of poor to me. I admit that I might be totally off here, because I'm just judging from superficial impressions I got from watching her. She also didn't sound particularly well-educated. But unless the adoptive father traded way down when he left the adoptive mom for Shelly, I doubt the adoptive parents were really that well-off financially, or well-educated when they adopted Dustin. They might have seemed so to Cassie at the time, though, because her situation was so much worse...homeless, didn't finish high school, and strung out on drugs & alcohol.
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jonimoni 136 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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05-03-06, 05:08 PM (EST)
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55. "RE: Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
I am so pleased that the adoptive mom did not whore herself out on tv, especially if her son has problems. Airing your personal problems on tv is not the best way to deal with them. As much as we might like to watch. Now here is what I think happened with the open adoption. We know St. Cassie saw the son up until he was three, it was open until then. Cassie was still using drugs and alcohol and the A-mom most likely went to court to stop the open adoption, and the court agreed when given the information about her behavior. Everything we know about this woman has come from St. Cassie who has professed a litany of LIES since she has been on SO and no one has called her on any of them. First she says she only wants him to know her health information, because it is necessary. Then she wants him to know she is there for him. Then she says she will not contact him but wait for him to contact her. Then she contacts him at his workplace. Then she says she only needs to see his face and will let him control the relationship and then she is calling and wanting to know when they will meet again.... Oh, yeah, she quit smoking too. She said she has been clean for 13 years but she called on his 14th birthday, drunk, but the a-mom is a ##### because she couldn't possibly tell she was drunk over the phone. If this kid is 19, 14 is only 5 years ago. Drunk 5 years ago means she has NOT been clean for 13 years. There are so many more things, and I am not writing a book report. I repeat I would not believe this chick if she said the grass was green, I would be outside looking for myself.....
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SeasonedRefinement 1248 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
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05-03-06, 09:41 AM (EST)
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49. "RE: Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
LAST EDITED ON 05-03-06 AT 08:31 PM (EST)Jonimoni, Thanks for mentioning that. I forgot about Cassie's rhetorical question: "If a mother can love more than one child, why can't a child love more than one mother"? This comparison is one of apples and oranges. For the most part, one type of love comes naturally, and the other type of love requires some adjustments. First, it has to be established that Dustin considers Cassie his mother. Should Cassie really be thinking in those terms anyway? Cassie is led by her emotions, and in this situation, that's not ideal. This is why I'm not sure that Cassie is really listening to Rhonda and Dr. Stan when they tell her to move slowly and cautiously, allowing Dustin to lead. A more relevant question would be, "will Dustin agree to meet with me again". ETA: typo *******************************************
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loretta54 45 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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05-03-06, 12:43 PM (EST)
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52. "RE: Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
i for one am tired of the cassie show, i fast forward through all her parts, she stalked this young man until he probably didn't have a choice but to meet with her or risk hearing from cassie day in and day out the other problem i am having is why oh why would cassie want him to come to the SOH why doesn't she leave the house so they can have their privacy again cassie only thinking of herself and what she wants. JMHO
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tac_2 351 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Cooking Show Host"
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05-03-06, 01:06 PM (EST)
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53. "RE: Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
Another "Big Day" is coming up here soon - Mother's Day. I would hope Dustin will be honoring the woman who deserves to be called "Mom". I believe Cassie won't be doing that annoying happy dance of hers, the Hustle much longer. By her own admission life hasn't exactly rewarded her for her behaviors and I'm sure the people she's suckered in the past ended up regretted ever helping her. (btw, does Cassie, age 40+ have any 'real life' friends, have we ever seen her make a call to one of them?) The only question left unanswered for me regarding Cassie is what hopeless dream she'll chase next and who/when/where she'll con into buying her lovable victim act. I just hope they'll insist on any claims Cassie has made would have be backed up with solid facts and proof before investing in her on any level. btw, what the heck was Cassie doing playing with puzzles? Shouldn't she be working on her Errand Angel business??? (and it was hilarious watching Rhonda almost running out the door to avoid her..lol)
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kristin830 23 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
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05-03-06, 05:37 PM (EST)
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56. "RE: Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
The apple don't fall far from the tree. I bet he is going to scam Cassie big time. A sucker is born every minute. Cassie is so desperate for love she'll do anything. My big question is what is Cassie going to do now? Her main purpose in life was to find Dustin. Now that that is complete, will she lose her identity? Maybe she can move to Vegas and do her Happy Dance/Good Morning dance on the strip! Hopefully this is goodbye forever. I can't stand another minute of Cassie!
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Cinnamongirl30 75 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
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05-03-06, 06:51 PM (EST)
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57. "RE: Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
Time to send Cassie packing. The purpose of SO inviting her back was to reunite with her son who thought that she was dead. Now that's happened, it went well.The adoptive mother didn't show her face to defend herself or even send her remarks, but gave him a hard time??? Blah blah blah there's no more teeth to pull out of this storyline. She got an all expense paid chance of a lifetime. By keeping her there and letting her act like a moron is really sad. They know how to ruin a good thing.
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maryellennaco 1084 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
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05-03-06, 11:05 PM (EST)
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63. "RE: Cassie's Big Day is Here!" |
You are sooo right. I am actually TIRED of the Cassie show. That victim act can only take you so far and it is BEYOND time for Cassie to hit the trail. Buh-bye, now. Pack up that happy dance and go, already!!
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