Considering how out of touch with reality this show has been this year, this was a good episode. I wish they would do something of this quality more often.

My fingers are crossed for them both but as there is a rich and filled past here, I'm not that hopefull. I think Cassie and the son will have a certain amount of let down on both their parts. I do feel bad for the adoptive parents. If they said she was dead, they did so to protect their son. No adoptive parent is that evil to make it up for the heck of it.

What bother me is how often this show and Cassie like to protray her as this huge victim. No one put the bottle to her lips. No one held a gun to her to take the drugs.

I wish all the best to Cassie and her son. They both have a hard road ahead of them. Many unsolved issues that will take time. But I think Cassie knew deep in her heart that she will not step back in his life and be super mom. I'm sure her son has some resentment that he may not of voiced today and will come out later. I guess this is a web of deceit and lies from the adopted parents. The adopted adgence supposely said it was a open adpotion. Lot of work and stuff we will never see. Good Luck Cassie but keep it real like today.

>I wish all the best to
>Cassie and her son. They
>both have a hard road
>ahead of them. Many
>unsolved issues that will take
>time. But I think Cassie
>knew deep in her heart
>that she will not step
>back in his life and
>be super mom. I'm sure
>her son has some resentment
>that he may not of
>voiced today and will come
>out later. I guess this
>is a web of deceit
>and lies from the adopted
>parents. The adopted adgence supposely
> said it was a
>open adpotion. Lot of work
>and stuff we will never
>see. Good Luck Cassie but
>keep it real like today.
>

I have not always been Cassie's biggest fan, but I do believe that she has only the best intentions and she does really love her son. I am adopted and my mother has never serched for me (maybe she is dead) and I know this because I and my adoptive parents signed a waiver at the adoption agency when I was 18, to contact us If my birth mother ever tried to locate me. That was 20 years ago. No matter what she was/is like, if I knew that she thought about me sometimes, it would be nice. Cassie's love for her son is touching to me, and I hope things go well for both of them in the future. BTW, I had a wonderful childhood and have always known I am adopted. The adoptive parents were absolutly detrimental to thier son, whom they are supposed to love, by not telling him this. I wish Cassie the best, even though she can be very annoying. She does truly love her son.

I'm a sucker for any reunion moment. Isn't it cool to watch someone as they step into their "dream moment"? Like Cassie or hate her, we can all relate to the natural high that accompanies those rare monumental moments in life . The woman was beaming.

I don't know a lot of the particulars concerning this meeting, but on the surface, everything looked positive. Dustin made gestures that went beyond being polite, like lifting Cassie off of the floor when he embraced her, and telling her she was breathtaking. I know Cassie was told to let Dustin lead the conversation, but it didn't seem as though Dustin was really able to do that. Maybe it was editing, or maybe it was just an incredibly nervous nineteen year old, but it seemed as though Cassie prevented a lot of awkward conversation gaps, lol.

So, all in all, this was a shining moment for Cassie, Dustin, Rhonda, and Starting Over.

I hate to be negative, but...there is a burning question: Where will it go from here? A backlash is inevitable. Will Cassie be able to maintain her composure when that backlash touches her? When the cameras are off, will Cassie be as willing to put a positive spin on the actions of Dustin's mother, regardless of how bad they make Cassie look? Will she be able to truly live by what she claims is her primary motive - to be a no-pressure support for Dustin? Will she stay out of any argument Dustin and his mother are having if Cassie is the subject of the argument? Will she be able to look him in the eye and say, "I don't know" when Dustin wants to know the identity of his biological father?

Dustin's mother may never be able to fully accept Cassie's use of the words, "my son" when Cassie refers to Dustin. Actually, it probably makes her blood boil. She may never be able to support Dustin's kindness towards Cassie, and she may always throw verbal barbs in Cassie's direction. Without knowing the truth, I do feel for this woman - if for no other reason than she had Starting Over as an uninvited presence in her life.

I hope Cassie can negotiate this. I wish I didn't have a bad feeling about this whole thing, especially in light of how magical the atmosphere was on today's show.

BTW: Do you guys think Dustin's voice was altered to protect his identity? It sounded so halting, and he sounded like he was slurring his words.

Cleverone: Pre-empting this particular show was a cruel joke, lol. With Nascar? After all of the time the viewers have invested in this storyline, it's only fair to allow everyone to see the grand finale....but who ever said TV is fair? Sorry you missed it, but it will probably be shown in reruns. This was one of their better shows.

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Thanks, SeasonR...it was deplorable to say the least...like I really give a damn for Nascar. I had a feeling that it would be a good one .

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"I walk in my own shoes..."
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That's why I think there should be proper counceling, for reunions like this. Many reunions don't go well in the long run. I think ongoing councelling and tackling the problem areas that deteriorate these relationships (or prevent them from building to begin with) should be addressed.

As far as Cassie being a victim - I think Cassie had her problems before she ever had Dustin and that once she had him and gave him up, it may have made her make poor decisions to numb her pain, which was worse than before she gave him up. But this was her decision.

I think we're hearing Cassie's side of the story as she is the one on the show. But I think the adoptive parents also have a valid story and so does Dustin (regarding both Cassie and his adoptive parents). I don't think there are necessarily rights or wrongs to this story, just different perceptions. I think some decisions (on both parts) were selfish and some out of protection (again, on both parts).

I think I'm seeing more and more that while Cassie may have been playing the victim, Dustin's adoptive parents may have had valid cause to keep her away. But I don't think it makes it any less painful for Cassie after she cleaned her life up - the adoptive parents don't really know that for sure and probably have a cemented profile of who they think Cassie is. It may not be fair to Cassie (hence her victim status) but you can't blame the adoptive parents for wanting to protect their son.

Like I said, different perceptions. But seeing Cassie's story makes me believe that she deserves a chance.

I think the other question remains to as to just when Cassie actually cleaned up her life and was ready to participate in being a part of her son's life. If she called him at 14 stoned or drunk and this had been a regular pattern in Dustin's life one wonders why the adoptive Mom would think the Cassie on SO was any different just now she had taken it to a whole new level reality TV. If Cassie has only been sobor for 5 years and that's a big if that it has actually been 5 years one could easily understand an adoptive mother dealing with a bad breakup/divorce and a son with his own substance abuse problems wouldn't necessarily want to also deal with all the ramifications of a Cassie reunion.

Hopefully, Cassie and Dustin will be able to stick with a therapist and deal with all the issues and appropriate bounderies that will be needed to make this relationship work.

I guess the thing that really got to me was Cassie's whole "your mother was just trying to protect you" thing. This after St. Cassie has through three visits had nothing but NASTY things to say about her....funny. I also would love to ask her how she loved him every minute since he was born, she sure did so much to show that love. She had a wonderful chance to continue to be part of his life and flushed it. I am so sorry but her profession of her love for him felt hollow to me. Just as her nice words for the a-mom. I hope this young man gets to see all the SO episodes that Cassie was on, and sees that she in fact was a drug addict for most of the last 20 years, that his mother was indeed doing her best to protect him. I would like him to see that Cassie likes to spin things and is as expert as anyone in Washington DC, so that he can really see who she is....I know it is cold. Still my opinion.

Zoey - I was about to post the same thing. Since we don't know the adoptive mother or father, we have to be just as compassionate towards them as we are to understanding Cassie and her problems. After having been raised by an alcoholic, I can imagine what the adoptive parents thoughts were when Cassie calls drunk - get that freak away from this little kid! Then, she sobers up, but do they really know that? It is just for today that she's sober? What if she's on something else? Do they let her back into Dustin's life, only to find out they'd been had again and it's at his detriment? Or, maybe she is clean. They just didn't know. Gun shy? Ya betch'a.

I did admire Cassie for not throwing the adoptive mom under the bus when Dustin mentioned that he had been told she was dead. I bet that took a lot of strength to not blurt out something nasty that would feel good...at the time. I thought she handled it with lots of class. A little needy at times, but that's to be expected...19 years.

It was so touching. I want to thank SO and Cassie for sharing her story til the end with us. Good cry had all around!

I think Cassie did just fine, and I'm really happy for both her and Dustin. I was also glad that there was no vilifying of the adoptive mom. Cassie and Dustin have a long journey ahead, and they're both gonna need a lot of support. For the moment tho' I think they've both given each other a beautiful life long gift. No matter what happens Cassie was able to see, touch, hear, and tell her biological son what has been in her heart all these years. For Dustin he's able to settle what may have been a nagging feeling about "something" that he couldn't pin down. If it doesn't work out they can each have closure about that.

What really touched my heart was when Cassie told Dustin that he mattered. It felt like he really needed to hear that for a myriad of reasons. I wish them both the best.

From an adopted point of view, at first it is exciting but actually learning about them, makes you think how good you actually had it. It takes sometime, but from my point of view, I went there every weekend. I should say, that my adopted mother had died before I met the extended family, which consisted of 6 children. I got to meet all the children and their grandchildren, and heard many stories. I was sad that I couldn't meet her, but hearing about her, changed my view. I always thought she would be this woman with open arms, but in reality, never talked about me at all. Only one person knew about me, and she told my oldest sister. She didn't know much, but she was looking for me also.

I was second to the last child, and only person given up for adoption. I was a product of an affair.

I use to love going there and seeing my biological sisters and brothers and nieces and nephews, but I became overwhelmed. If I didn't stay at one sisters house, the other would get mad. I finally stopped going. I can't really say I miss them, but I now know how much love I have from my adopted parents, even though they bought my love, but now we are very close. It was awful for a long time, until I realized how lucky I was. You know the saying, the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

I wish Cassie much luck and just don't overwhelm him. Some things are left unsaid, than to say, unless he asks. I wish Dustin much luck, and remember that your adopted parents did the best they could.

Being a long time Cassie supporter from when she started SO, I have to put my two cents in! ; >) I thought Cassie showed so much elegant restraint and care for her son. She was really very calm and warm in a situation that many people would have been wild with emotion in.

I was impressed by the way she praised his adoptive mother. It was all very showing of how mature and wise she really is.

Couple of things rolling around in my head...

They may have disguised Dustin's voice...or not, alot of young men his age talk that way. (I think it comes with the low slung jeans..lol)

I think Cassie said all the things she was told to say quite well. What concerns me is her on her own. No Dr.Stan to 'talk her down'...no Rhonda to remind her of what to think or say. Just 'Courageous Cassie' with some bad poetry and overwhelming neediness...with a big dose of hyper thrown in. She still has no job (unless they're saving that for the season finale?) Either way..if SO is truly cancelled, she no longer has a safety net. (or new wardrobe or free rent)

I so hope Dustin takes the good Doc's advice and seeks out some help. This is sooooo much for a young person to deal with and he's already had his share of issues.

Why aren't we hearing about the bio Dad? Did she ever say who it was? If she doesn't know, how come we didn't see Rhonda or Dr. Stan telling her how to answer that question...since it's a WHOPPER!

No matter what we think of the Mom...she's got to be fuming...and hurt...and scared. And now this poor kid has to balance them both...

I was once again impressed with the good Doc...keeping it real but with a soft touch. A true gentleman who knows what he's doing.....

I guess the question is what's the plan for Cassie from here? With SO ending does she have a plan to move on with her own life so that if Dustin wishes to be involved great and if not Cassie can move on without stalking him. No insult to Cassie but it seems this meeting has been her one goal in life and now what? She can't build a life based on Dustin he needs to build his own life with as much or as little Cassie as he chooses. She will need a full life of her own to have something to give to him if he chooses to have her in his life, she can't live just for him, it won't work. So what is she going to do for herself?

LAST EDITED ON 05-01-06 AT 08:38 PM (EST)

It was agreed that both Cassie and son would need follow-up council due to the stressful nature and buildup of the situation.

I personally feel like we keep seeing that Cassie is not a dumb idiot and is very capable- and that is so very cool! Doesn't everyone else think so? Isn't it great to see another human's life coming together? Yeah!! It's nice to see good things happen to good people. She's thought about this a lot, knows what is at stake and is not in lala land. People said she would hurt him emotionally at the meeting, and that she would be needy. It was quite the contrary: She was controlled and several times told him that it was HIS chioce if he wanted to continue a relationship. Sure, she would want him to love her, but she made it clear that she's been through the same situation and understands the ponderance of that kind of commitment.

The life-coaches didn't seem to need to tell her what to do or say, beyond promting her to give the rest of the gifts. I don't know, I saw the whole show and thought Cassie should be very proud of herself.

Kree - I thought so too. So many times we don't get to see someone who has picked themselves back up off the floor after having been nearly raped, abused, a drug user, homeless, etc...and then try a 'do over' at life. She knows she screwed up - and she paid for it. But that doesn't stop her. She got that GED, and it wasn't easy. She kept at it. She found her son and let him know she is alive. If I were her son, I'd want to know my birth mom was alive and available. Why not have as many people in your life as you can to love you?
Cassie is by no means perfect or going to do things perfectly, but she has a good heart and a kind spirit and it was so nice to see her beaming and happy and have her son lift her in the air and kiss her forehead. What a sweet moment!
GO Cassie Go!

If the ends justify the means then the meeting was a success.
But they don't in my book, so I wouldn't be cheering Cassie on but since it's a done deal I would hope she listened well to Dr. Stan's advice and holds off getting too close, too soon. I was particularly glad he mentioned it would be unwise to live with Dustin because with her history, who knows what she had planned.

I thought Cassie reading her letter and poem was odd. Why couldn't she just speak from heart without 'notes'? It came off as a scripted and over-rehearsed statement to me. Would that have occurred in a real-life situation, don't think so. At least not during a first meeting.
(and Rhonda during the reading, dabbing her tearless eyes, like on cue-lol)

Strange and, imo, irresponsible of SO not to blur out Dustin's girlfriends face but maybe they had no written agreement to do that prior to filming. A little detail missed that could easily identify Dustin or even if he didn't care, his mother.

Dustin's mother:
That is now where my sympathy lies. I really feel she's been screwed and probably has no legal recourse but even if she did, the damage has been done. Rumors/innuendo/the mistress-second wife appearance/ etc.,etc. -- she must have gone through hell during this whole ordeal. I feel for her.

>Dustin's mother:
>That is now where my sympathy
>lies. I really feel
>she's been screwed and probably
>has no legal recourse but
>even if she did, the
>damage has been done.
>Rumors/innuendo/the mistress-second wife appearance/ etc.,etc.
>-- she must have gone
>through hell during this whole
>ordeal. I feel for
>her.
>
>
I beleive that if she has gone through hell, she (and his father) brought it upon themselves. Every adopted child deserves to know that he/she is adopted. They will eventually find out, and that causes even more pain. To be told she was dead so the parents didn't have deal with the issues he would undoubtably face in the future was selfish and uncaring. The truth is always the best option, no matter how harsh (when he is old enough to understand, of course). He may now feel resentment for his parents for having been lied to, and that is thier doing.

>Being a long time Cassie supporter from when she started SO, I have to put my two cents in! ; >) I thought Cassie showed so much elegant restraint and care for her son. She was really very calm and warm in a situation that many people would have been wild with emotion in.
>
>I was impressed by the way
>she praised his adoptive mother.
> It was all very
>showing of how mature and
>wise she really is.

I totally agree with you. I thought the whole meeting was very positive and so touching. What happens now, who knows? But, the thing is, she did a great job expressing her feelings without trying to make Dustin think she wanted anything but for him to know that she loved him, had always thought about him, and if HE chooses, she will be a part of his life.

OMG!This was the BEST episode EVER!!Dustin was SO GREAT-So was cassie!They both seemed to connect on some level-I hope we get to see them together again-It was a truly HEARTFELT reunion-Im so happy for them both-They do have a long road ahead-For each of them-BUT maybe they can travel it together-Whatever happens what a positive experience for BOTH today!PEACE AT YA

Very thoughtful, SF. You captured the highlights. Thanks.

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SnowFlake...thank you! i waited all wk end to see this show and nasscar won...(very thoughtful of you). bb

Thanks, SF for being so thoughtful!

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"I walk in my own shoes..."
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The meeting with Cassie and her son was OK.....not really what I expected, though. It seemed to me like they had already met before the taping, and was just playing it out for the TV audience. It just didn't seem like Cassie was very excited or overjoyed about seeing her son after 16 years. JMHO

I was glad the son said he didn't want to go to the SO house for another meeting. If he and Cassie are going to have a relationship it should be done with professional help but not as part of a reality show. I thought it was tacky to have the reunion done on TV to begin with. The fact that Cassie wanted to have a second meeting on TV with him just screamed wrong to me. If they are going to have a relationship, great I hope it works out in a postive fashion. However, why would she want to continue to exploit him on TV and to have his personal life splashed across a reality television show? Hasn't she used his story to get enough attention. She has access to him, she has the offer of professional help to negotiate the next stage, why would she want more TV exposure for this relationship?

Because as soon as the camera's stop rolling...she's back to her shi# life.....

I do hope he sticks to not going to the SO house, he needs the reality of Cassie, not the Andy Paige makeover, Rhonda Britten cue card Cassie....

He just doesn't need to be exploited. His life has been used enough by SO and Cassie to get attention and ratings. If Cassie truly wants a relationship, she's been offered professional help to do so. While she seems to thrive on the cameras and everyone watching her it's time to live the reality of her situation off camera and in the best interest of her son, not SO house.

I am so happy that Cassie got the chance to meet her son. I cried through the whole meeting. This hit home for me, three years ago my friend asked me to find her birthmother. So her mom gave me the info I needed. I searched here and there on the net and didn't really get no leads. This past summer I started looking again and I was determined to find her. I did with the help of a search angel and he found her in one day.
My friend had me call her, missed her a couple times and then she returned my call. I told her why I was calling and she said she thought she would never be able to find her. 60's, biracial, unwed. She told me she didn't want to know nothing about her but we talked for over an hour so to me she was somewhat curious. I left the door open for her if she changed her mind. Two months ago I get a email from someone close to her who was unaware of the SECRET. This person sent me pictures of my friends birthmother and her halfsiblings. I got the pictures today and will be surprising my friend with them as soon as she gets her.

All birtmothers know deep down that someone will be knocking on that door it just happened that Cassie was the one that reached out to contact her son. I hope for the best for both of them. I understand why he didn't want to go on television he was thinking about his mom's feelings. Just like my friend was concerned about her mom's feelings when I began the search for her birthmom.

I like Cassie, despite her Ellie May Clampett voice and that manic "Good Morning, Good Morning" floor show, I still think she is a soft-hearted, naieve woman. I truly felt sorry for her when she was threatened with litigation for wanting to meet the boy she gave birth to. So why is my opinion about this whole thing changing so dramatically?

Unfortunately, I now find myself wishing that Cassie would just pack her bags and be on her way. I wish her well, I really do. By all accounts, she is barely surviving on her own, and she has to do more than obsess over this one issue. She has had the "day that will change the rest of her life", and that is a lot to be thankful for. Now it is time for her to go back into the private sector and get the psychological or spiritual help she will need to stick to the no-pressure commitment she made to Dustin.

I am concerned with the way SO is portraying the entire process of adoption. It isn't a "really long babysitting job", and it isn't reversable. How many women will look at Cassie and find her situation intolerable? For a woman in crisis, this type of drama may cause her to reject a very positive option. Being an adoptive mother is no less sacred than being a biological mother who raises her child. I know Rhonda keeps reminding Cassie that Dustin's mother IS his mother, but I don't know if Cassie has really accepted the immutability of that truth as she nods her head in agreement. I am beginning to believe that this whole saga seriously dishonors Dustin's mother.

Regardless of what Cassie says, I am also beginning to think that her emotional well-being is riding on the development of a Dustin/Cassie relationship. From what we saw and heard on today's episode, Dustin had made tentative plans to come to the SO house to visit Cassie. Apparently, he said that he would call Cassie if he was planning to come to the house. I am concerned that Cassie could not accept the obvious - that no call meant that he wasn't coming. Now I know this may seem minor, but I do think it is significant. Cassie didn't seem to be able to leave it alone - she HAD to call him to hear him give her an answer. Her words were not pressuring, actually they were kind and reassuring. But the fact that Cassie even made the call was a form of pressure. It was based in her fear that Dustin had changed his mind about a future relationship...and she claimed there would be no pressure if that was his decision.

Cassie found out that Dustin has had enough of the TV cameras. She also found out that Dustin's mother is "flipping out". All I can believe is that there is much more to this story than any of us will ever know. What is this woman so concerned about? I don't think Dustin's mother is going to start an internet site to give her side of the story, so I want to give her the same benefit of the doubt that I would give to any mother who thought her teenage son was in harm's way.

I guess I am uncomfortable with Dustin's mother's motives and actions being interpreted through the SO filters. Yes, Dustin is an adult, legally if not emotionally. But will that help his mother to accept the fact that her son and his girlfriend (who was shown on camera) went behind her back and agreed to participate in a nationally broadcast television reunion show with his birth mother. This is a woman who was told, in no uncertain terms, to back off and leave their family alone. Then she shows up with poetry, a psychologist, her life coach, and tear filled proclamations that she has overcome every roadblock that was erected to keep the two of them apart. PS: his parents were the roadblocks. To Dustin's mother, Cassie is a manipulative woman who has squandered her youth in a drunken fog of alcoholism, promiscuity, broken promises, and homelessness. Yeah, I'd be concerned about her too.

Cassie has spent a lot of time discussing Dustin's mother on camera. She's talking to anyone who will listen. Yesterday's attitude that she displayed in front of Dustin, the "your mom was only trying to protect you" sentiment, has turned into today's complaint that "I thought I was signing an open adoption...I lived with these people for two months..." And then Antonia, in all of her debt-ridden glory, offers the counsel that Dustin's mom is so threatened by Cassie that she lied. Then we go back to Cassie in the confessional saying that Dustin's mother has "lied" and that she will have to explain herself to Dustin.

I don't know if Cassie is able to comprehend what she is doing. I'm beginning to wonder if she cares. But I truly believe that in the end, the bond with Dustin's adoptive mother is far deeper and much stronger than any curiosity Dustin may have about Cassie. She would do well to stop discussing her theories and beliefs about Dustin's mother on camera - out of respect for Dustin and out of gratitude for a woman who gave her baby boy a life Cassie couldn't begin to provide.

Cassie, please....just go home. He has a way to contact you. Stand in the belief you espouse - "in the end, love wins out".

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I guess my feelings on the Cassie situation are colored by my impression, which may be totally false, that the adoptive mother is not too far off Cassie's level on the emotional/psychological stability scale.

I don't remember the particulars of how Cassie actually found this couple to adopt Dustin, or if it was ever discussed very clearly at all. But I don't think Cassie went through a reputable adoption agency where the prospective couple were extensively screened. I remember when I first heard Cassie's story last season, that I got the impression it was a very "backwoods" kind of agreement, with the couple getting a shady lawyer to draw up some papers for Cassie to sign. How hard could it have been to fool a drugged-out 22 year old Cassie? And Cassie certainly wouldn't have had any guidance from her own mother, who seemed literally retarded when she appeared on the show last season.

As I've mentioned before, we haven't seen the adoptive mother, or heard her side of the story. But going just on impressions here, I'm going to guess she must be more or less comparable to Shelly, who was married to the adoptive father after his marriage to the adoptive mother disintegrated, and appeared on the show last season. Now, Shelly seemed a nice enough woman, but she certainly didn't appear to be upper-crust...it might be even stretching it a little to call her middle class. My point is that I don't think the adoptive parents were the kind of ideal parents who could offer Dustin sooo much, although they might have appeared so to a 22 year old Cassie. Remember, at that time, Cassie must have thought they could give Dustin an awesome life simply because they were not homeless like she was. But I think these people---Cassie, Shelly, the adoptive mom and dad---all basically came out of the same bag.

If the adoptive mom was so truly horrified by Cassie's lifestyle, and thought she was so unstable, why choose her baby to take, and why let Cassie live in their home while she was pregnant? Why not go through a reputable adoption agency instead, which would limit all this interference from a bothersome birth mother? My guess is that the adoptive parents couldn't pay and/or pass inspection for this type of adoption.

Also, didn't they adopt Dustin in an attempt to save their own marriage, if I remember correctly from last season? Doesn't sound like a "stable" reason to adopt a child to me. And didn't the adoptive mom go through a few more husbands after the adoptive father? Doesn't sound like an ideally "stable" situation for Dustin to me. And didn't the adoptive mother once again employ some dubious "legal" methods to prevent Cassie from meeting the son...the notarized letter with Dustin's signature, which was obviously some kind of fraud, since Dustin himself openly declared that he was told Cassie was DEAD, not actively pursuing him on a reality TV show. Why not just legally obtain a restraining order against Cassie, if she could be proven to be that much of a psycho? And for all of the adoptive mom's concerns that Cassie would be such a bad influence on Dustin, didn't Dustin develop drug and alcohol problems anyway, under her own care?

I don't think we'll ever know the true story behind all this...LOL, maybe the adoptive father is actually Dustin's biological dad, and that's why the adoptive mom hates Cassie so much, and why they were able to "locate" her baby for adoption.

I think you have very valid points!!! I just think we all need to remember that 18 years ago, test tube babies, invitro-fertilization etc. were things of science fiction (or near science, but still with the yuck factor). I was in college around that time and can still remember seeing ads in the college newspaper from "hopefull adoptive parents", some even offering to take "potentially disabled" children. Adoption has become so different now - if you have any doubts, try watching "Adoption Stories" on the Discovery Health Channel. My point in terms of Cassie and her son is that adoption policies and practices change with time. Who knows what agency/lawyer/judge gave the adoptive couple advice based on the tide of thought of the time.

Hey SF, you know that I respect your opinion - I have to. It mirrors mine quite often, LOL.

(Sigh) I may be overdosing on this topic. Using references made by total strangers who are citing events and vague conversations that took place decades ago, and after hearing diametrically opposed stories, I'm really trying to reach some kind of conclusion. For me, that becomes more difficult with each episode. It's all so personal, and it should have been a wonderful thing...tinged with sadness...but still wonderful. Apparently, something went wrong here. The saddest thing is that a young man who is already dealing with challenges now finds himself in an unbelievably tough spot. Where is his loyalty supposed to go? I know I wouldn't want to be there.

You've asked some good questions. What did happen in 1986 in the backwoods? I know that Cassie's barely functional, quite embarrassing mother was useless. So where did Cassie go when she found out she was pregnant? Where did she meet these people? Did they see a pregnant, homeless girl as a short-cut to a standard, expensive adoption? Why didn't Cassie know that there were countless agencies and attorneys that would adequately represent her, screen prospective parents for her, pay her medical and housing costs, etc? Is it possible that she was drinking heavily during the early trimesters of her pregnancy? Another poster downthread mentioned Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. There are other derivatives of FAS as well, at least five that I saw mentioned. Did Dustin's adoptive parents suspect that this child could be affected by something like that? Was there a question as to Dustin's paternity? Dustin has learning difficulties - is that related to Cassie's alcoholism? Were the parents exploiting a troubled young woman in crisis? Are the adoptive parents irresponsible and flakey, or are they flawed and protective? SO's attorney says the notarized letter looked legit, and that Cassie's only recourse would be to put her name on a birth parents' list and wait for Dustin to call. I thought she did that...then she shows up saying Dustin called her. Dustin said he thought Cassie was dead. Is it possible that Dustin is lying about that? Why would he? Who knows?

If we could get the absolute truth to all of these questions, well, maybe none of them would come out smelling like a rose. For now, there are just too many variables.

You may have hit the nail on the head, my friend. Perhaps the animosity is based in Dustin's paternity - not his maternity, lol. Stranger things have happened.

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SR wrote: <<Hey SF, you know that I respect your opinion - I have to. It mirrors mine quite often, LOL.>>
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LOL! Ditto, Ditto!

With you 100% Baxtera!! The best words that came out of his mouth were "I don't want to be on TV" or something like that. I too wonder what Cassie will do now... It seems like it's about 15 minutes past her 15.... Love ya Cassie, mean it.

I have to agree with all of the above. I just wanted to add that Cassie's true feelings regarding Dustin's adoptive mom have been well documented throughout her appearances on SO. I can't help but wonder if Dustin's adoptive mom has seen some of her anger/accusations etc. I know Dustin thought Cassie was dead until recently, but he just might find out from SO viewers what Cassie's attitude has been towards his adoptive mom. Cassie's feelings may or may not be justified ... I don't think that matters at this point. If SO really wanted to help Cassie, they would have edited her early comments so they would never come back to hurt not just Cassie, but also her son. Perhaps this wouldn't be great for ratings, but it just might be more productive for any future relationship between Cassie and her son.

LAST EDITED ON 05-02-06 AT 10:11 PM (EST)

LAST EDITED ON 05-02-06 AT 10:07 PM (EST)

I agree sharpmom. NOW, Rhonda is telling Cassie to honor the a-mom???? NOW?? How about all the months past when St. Cassie was going on and on about how evil she was?? Dustin met with her and if he chooses now to take their relationship slowly it is still all about the evil amom....ooohhhh. What about Cassie ONLY needing to meet him? Ohhhhh, I guess it might REALLY have been about more than that. Huh, funny, didn't see that coming. I know I sound angry, but SO has been so remiss in allowing this chick to force herself into this young mans life, imo. Rhonda tells Cassie twice today that the adoptive mom has power over him and only once that it is as it should be because she is his mother. Then Cassie says that a mother can love more than one child why can't a child love more than one mother? WTF? Well, Cassie, it is like this, you gave birth to him but that does not give you the same impact on his life as the woman who was there day in and out with him for 20 years. She still does not get that she can be a great friend, like a favorite auntie, but never in the same place in his heart that the mother holds. Would have been nice for Rah-rah Rhonda to tell her that, no?

Oh, and Cassie lived with them for two months?? Wasn't it much,much longer in the last incarnation(s) of this story?? So she was most likely only clean for 2 months now...think about that. First it was something like 7 months she lived with them.....this woman could not tell the truth if her life depended on it, and Dustin's mental health does depend on this woman telling the truth now. This gives much more weight to the a-moms feeling that Dustin's health may have been compromised by fetal alcohol syndrome, et-al. Does it not?

edited to make better sense, I was kind of torqued up after I watched my tivo....sorry. ;(

But what if... just what if the adoptive mother is all that everyone keeps saying she is. Not a horrible person, but just very controlling and demanding. What if she did lie and make false documents. Cassie, upon entering the house, was told to be honest about everything that led up to current times. If she had lied and not said anything about the adoption being open, wouldn't that seem weird? I do feel like the show shouldn't have shown the stepmom on camera. But that wasn't Cassie's fault, that was SO.

It's good to keep the Adoptive mom in a good light, being a party that has no interest in the drama, and she did after all raise the boy and deserves the respect (which Cassie has mentioned several times), but she (the AM) didn't do it in the most honest way.

I think we look at this 19 years down the line and think of how things would have been handled today and not how they would have been handled then. Twenty years ago it wasn't all that uncommon for these types of adoption situations to be arranged and the laws for adoption have become much stricter and more controlled. Cassie may have been considered a special needs adoption based on her achol/drug addictions and the likely hood that Dustin would be born with problems himself. The state that granted the adoption might have been just as glad to find someone willing to take on the child and the mother so they didn't have to pay the cost themselves. It sounds out there and would be called baby buying now but the rules were different and as I said Cassie's child might have been hard to place based on her history. Even then we knew about drug addicted babies and the problems they could have. So was it a shady deal, who knows. As for judging the people based on the second wife I haven't found a mistresss to be a good judge of the wife's character.

As I try to put this story into perspective I keep coming back to the reliabilty of the witnesses. Cassie's story has no consistancy and changes with the wind. Now I wil give her the benefit of the doubt and suggest that the drugs and achol may have fried her brain and she doesn't know the truth but I find any and all her stories questionable.

The ex was the husband's mistress before marriage and already loses crediblity right there. The fact that she hates the adoptive mom with a passion also makes her a lousy character witness.

One person it would have been interesting to hear from was Dustin's gf. I wonder what her opinion is of his Mom. Now gf can have issues as do wives with MIL but it would have been an interesting take on how she sees the family dynamic.

LAST EDITED ON 05-03-06 AT 07:45 PM (EST)

Baxtera wrote: <<As for judging the people based on the second wife I haven't found a mistresss to be a good judge of the wife's character.>>
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Hi Baxtera!

I wasn't using Shelly as a yardstick of the adoptive mom's character; I just meant that Shelly looked, well, kind of poor to me. I admit that I might be totally off here, because I'm just judging from superficial impressions I got from watching her. She also didn't sound particularly well-educated. But unless the adoptive father traded way down when he left the adoptive mom for Shelly, I doubt the adoptive parents were really that well-off financially, or well-educated when they adopted Dustin. They might have seemed so to Cassie at the time, though, because her situation was so much worse...homeless, didn't finish high school, and strung out on drugs & alcohol.

SF -

HAHA! That signature!!!! You've created the perfect lifecoach, lol!

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I am so pleased that the adoptive mom did not whore herself out on tv, especially if her son has problems. Airing your personal problems on tv is not the best way to deal with them. As much as we might like to watch.

Now here is what I think happened with the open adoption. We know St. Cassie saw the son up until he was three, it was open until then. Cassie was still using drugs and alcohol and the A-mom most likely went to court to stop the open adoption, and the court agreed when given the information about her behavior. Everything we know about this woman has come from St. Cassie who has professed a litany of LIES since she has been on SO and no one has called her on any of them. First she says she only wants him to know her health information, because it is necessary. Then she wants him to know she is there for him. Then she says she will not contact him but wait for him to contact her. Then she contacts him at his workplace. Then she says she only needs to see his face and will let him control the relationship and then she is calling and wanting to know when they will meet again.... Oh, yeah, she quit smoking too. She said she has been clean for 13 years but she called on his 14th birthday, drunk, but the a-mom is a ##### because she couldn't possibly tell she was drunk over the phone. If this kid is 19, 14 is only 5 years ago. Drunk 5 years ago means she has NOT been clean for 13 years. There are so many more things, and I am not writing a book report. I repeat I would not believe this chick if she said the grass was green, I would be outside looking for myself.....

LAST EDITED ON 05-03-06 AT 08:31 PM (EST)

Jonimoni,

Thanks for mentioning that. I forgot about Cassie's rhetorical question: "If a mother can love more than one child, why can't a child love more than one mother"? This comparison is one of apples and oranges.

For the most part, one type of love comes naturally, and the other type of love requires some adjustments. First, it has to be established that Dustin considers Cassie his mother.

Should Cassie really be thinking in those terms anyway? Cassie is led by her emotions, and in this situation, that's not ideal. This is why I'm not sure that Cassie is really listening to Rhonda and Dr. Stan when they tell her to move slowly and cautiously, allowing Dustin to lead. A more relevant question would be, "will Dustin agree to meet with me again".

ETA: typo
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Cassie is living in a "fantasy world" She isn't even hearing Rhonda...she just sits their with that big dopey smile from ear to ear, and the only thing she is hearing out of Rhonda is ----
blah blah blah blah...blah!

Cassie has so many screw lose that she isn't capable of comprehending what Rhonda is actualy saying...she is hearing only what she wants to hear. She is setting herself of for the biggest let down of her life.

SHe isn't getting any younger....she needs to move on with her life.....and HAVE ONE....and what ever happens -- happens, period.

LAST EDITED ON 05-03-06 AT 10:16 AM (EST)

I would love to have seen an exit strategy for Cassie leaving the SO house that plans for her to have a life with or without Dustin as a part of it. I think they were trying for that with the errand business and all but it never seems that got off the ground. Dustin is an adult and regardless of what kind of relationship they end up with Cassie will need a life that doesn't revolve around Dustin. Her life has revolved around being a victim, finding Dustin, etc. She needs to surrender that and find a life for Cassie. If Dustin can be a part of that on his terms great but she will definitly need something to focus on so she can let him lead and not obsess over everything in his life.

This boy has issues but even regular 19 year olds have lots going on in their lives that don't include Mom and Dad 24/7. So what is Cassie going to do the rest of the time? Instead of sitting around SO waiting for Dustin to call Rhonda should be working on an exit plan that would give her a focus not just for Cassie but also because they've thrust Cassie into Dustin's life knowing that without something to focus on she could become very overwhelming in his life.

i for one am tired of the cassie show, i fast forward through all her parts, she stalked this young man until he probably didn't have a choice but to meet with her or risk hearing from cassie day in and day out the other problem i am having is why oh why would cassie want him to come to the SOH why doesn't she leave the house so they can have their privacy again cassie only thinking of herself and what she wants. JMHO

Another "Big Day" is coming up here soon - Mother's Day. I would hope Dustin will be honoring the woman who deserves to be called "Mom".

I believe Cassie won't be doing that annoying happy dance of hers, the Hustle much longer.
By her own admission life hasn't exactly rewarded her for her behaviors and I'm sure the people she's suckered in the past ended up regretted ever helping her. (btw, does Cassie, age 40+ have any 'real life' friends, have we ever seen her make a call to one of them?)

The only question left unanswered for me regarding Cassie is what hopeless dream she'll chase next and who/when/where she'll con into buying her lovable victim act. I just hope they'll insist on any claims Cassie has made would have be backed up with solid facts and proof before investing in her on any level.

btw, what the heck was Cassie doing playing with puzzles? Shouldn't she be working on her Errand Angel business???
(and it was hilarious watching Rhonda almost running out the door to avoid her..lol)

Why is Cassie still here? She came in the house to share her experiance of meeting her son...shich she has already done!

And what is Cassie thinking when she was dancing around: Oh, I'm not worried about going up for BOR because I have been doing what I have done everything I was told..(something to that affect)

Why would she even be called up.....she has served her purpose her 2nd time around, she already got a 2nd graduation/gift. Does she think she is getting a graduation?

I think she thinks she is getting another gift/free rent or something. It's time to go Cassie...no more graduations for U!

The apple don't fall far from the tree. I bet he is going to scam Cassie big time. A sucker is born every minute. Cassie is so desperate for love she'll do anything. My big question is what is Cassie going to do now? Her main purpose in life was to find Dustin. Now that that is complete, will she lose her identity? Maybe she can move to Vegas and do her Happy Dance/Good Morning dance on the strip!
Hopefully this is goodbye forever. I can't stand another minute of Cassie!

Time to send Cassie packing. The purpose of SO inviting her back was to reunite with her son who thought that she was dead. Now that's happened, it went well.The adoptive mother didn't show her face to defend herself or even send her remarks, but gave him a hard time??? Blah blah blah there's no more teeth to pull out of this storyline. She got an all expense paid chance of a lifetime. By keeping her there and letting her act like a moron is really sad. They know how to ruin a good thing.

You are sooo right. I am actually TIRED of the Cassie show. That victim act can only take you so far and it is BEYOND time for Cassie to hit the trail. Buh-bye, now. Pack up that happy dance and go, already!!