"Welcome to Foonerville" - Stop WAR in Ukraine ! http://twitter.com/@euromaidan

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"Welcome to Foonerville"

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"	04-22-17, 11:37 AM (EST)
"Welcome to Foonerville"
LAST EDITED ON 04-22-17 AT 02:18 PM (EST) http://tinyurl.com/foonerville We've found what could be Fooner's paradise. And, since we are all best friends, our paradise too. For 3.5 Mill Mayor Fooner can cut the ribbon on a laid back existence in a tiny town surrounded by national forest in Oregon. With no silly illegal moonshining rules, no silly rules about loud music, and no stop lights. All that is needed is a kickstarter campaign, and the easy life will begin.
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Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID

*Claps Hands Together* YES!! foonermints 04-23-17 1

   Applying... kingfish 04-23-17 2

   RE: *Claps Hands Together* YES!! cahaya 04-23-17 4

applying for position of.... jbug 04-23-17 3

   RE: applying for position of.... foonermints 04-24-17 5

       RE: applying for position of.... kingfish 04-24-17 6

           Uh Oh! foonermints 04-24-17 7

               RE: Uh Oh! jbug 04-24-17 8

                   Co-Sherrif! foonermints 04-25-17 9

                       RE: Co-Sherrif! cahaya 04-25-17 10

                           Remember foonermints 04-26-17 11

                               Foonerbar... cahaya 04-26-17 12

                           RE: Co-Sherrif! jbug 04-30-17 19

Foonerville foonermints 04-28-17 13

   RE: Foonerville kingfish 04-28-17 14

       RE: Foonerville foonermints 04-28-17 15

   RE: Foonerville cahaya 04-29-17 16

       RE: Foonerville foonermints 04-29-17 17

           RE: Foonerville kingfish 04-30-17 18

RE: Welcome to Foonerville © foonermints 05-03-17 20

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville © cahaya 05-03-17 21

       RE: Welcome to Foonerville © foonermints 05-04-17 22

           RE: Welcome to Foonerville © kingfish 05-04-17 23

               Foonerville © foonermints 05-04-17 24

                   RE: Foonerville © cahaya 05-04-17 25

RE: Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 05-05-17 26

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 05-05-17 27

   Land Ho! cahaya 05-05-17 28

       Cocaine foonermints 05-06-17 29

           RE: Cocaine kingfish 05-06-17 30

               Long Gone foonermints 05-06-17 31

                   RE: Long Gone kingfish 05-07-17 32

                       RE: Longer Around Than You foonermints 05-07-17 33

       Mayor Fooney Brown kingfish 05-12-17 39

           Chapel Bells Go "BUNG"?! foonermints 05-12-17 40

               RE: Chapel Bells Go "BUNG"?! cahaya 05-12-17 41

               RE: Chapel Bells Go "BUNG"?! kingfish 05-12-17 42

                   Only The Lonely foonermints 05-13-17 43

Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 05-07-17 34

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville cahaya 05-07-17 35

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 05-08-17 36

       Upon reflection, kingfish 05-08-17 37

           RE: Upon reflection, cahaya 05-08-17 38

The Foonerville Coast.. foonermints 05-13-17 44

   RE: The Foonerville Coast.. foonermints 05-13-17 45

Foonerville © Filming Rights foonermints 05-13-17 46

   RE: Foonerville © Filming Rights kingfish 05-13-17 47

       RE: Foonerville © Filming Rights cahaya 05-15-17 48

           RE: Foonerville © Filming Rights kingfish 05-15-17 49

               Shark Attack! by The Surf Punks.. foonermints 05-15-17 50

                   Peace thru... cahaya 05-18-17 51

                       RE: Peace thru... kingfish 05-19-17 52

                           Foonerville Tourism Cordinator kingfish 05-19-17 53

                               RE: Foonerville Tourism Cordinator foonermints 05-20-17 55

                                   He keeps his mouth shut, kingfish 05-20-17 56

                           Militia Tee Shirt.. foonermints 05-19-17 54

RE: Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 05-21-17 57

RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 05-24-17 58

Fooner's retreat kingfish 05-27-17 59

RE: Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 06-01-17 60

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 06-01-17 61

       Gisele foonermints 06-01-17 62

           So... kingfish 06-01-17 63

               RE: So... foonermints 06-03-17 64

                   Do Not Disturb! foonermints 06-04-17 67

                       RE: Do Not Disturb! kingfish 06-04-17 68

                           Nah.. foonermints 06-06-17 75

   Speed bumps? cahaya 06-03-17 65

       RE: Speed bumps? kingfish 06-04-17 66

       RE: Speed bumps? foonermints 06-07-17 76

Who's got Mail? kingfish 06-05-17 69

   Swoop! foonermints 06-05-17 70

       RE: Swoop! kingfish 06-06-17 71

           RE: Swoop! kingfish 06-06-17 72

               RE: Swoop! cahaya 06-06-17 73

   RE: Who's got Mail? cahaya 06-06-17 74

       RE: Who's got Mail? kingfish 06-07-17 77

           Your Weight foonermints 06-07-17 78

               RE: Your Weight cahaya 06-07-17 79

               RE: Your Weight kingfish 06-07-17 80

Do NOT bring to Foonerville © foonermints 06-12-17 81

   RE: Do NOT bring to Foonerville ... kingfish 06-12-17 82

       RE: Do NOT bring to Foonerville ... foonermints 06-12-17 83

RE: Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 06-17-17 84

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 06-18-17 85

Y'all need to.... jbug 06-18-17 86

   Wishing you... cahaya 06-18-17 87

       RE: Wishing you... jbug 06-19-17 90

   RE: Y'all need to.... kingfish 06-18-17 88

       RE: Y'all need to.... jbug 06-19-17 89

           My My MY foonermints 06-19-17 91

               June 16th foonermints 06-20-17 92

                   RE: June 16th kingfish 06-20-17 93

                       RE: June 16th foonermints 06-20-17 94

                           RE: June 16th cahaya 06-20-17 95

                       RE: June 16th jbug 06-21-17 96

                           RE: June 16th kingfish 06-21-17 97

                           RE: June 16th cahaya 06-21-17 98

BOINK! foonermints 06-22-17 99

   Official bird? kingfish 06-22-17 100

       RE: Official bird? cahaya 06-22-17 101

           RE: Official bird? kingfish 06-23-17 102

       RE: Official bird? kingfish 06-24-17 103

           Your Mayor foonermints 06-25-17 104

               RE: Your Mayor kingfish 06-25-17 105

                   Quandry, you say? cahaya 06-25-17 106

                       RE: Quandry, you say? kingfish 06-26-17 107

                           RE: Quandry, you say? cahaya 06-26-17 109

RE: Welcome to Foonerville taffnic 06-26-17 108

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville cahaya 06-26-17 110

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 06-27-17 111

       RE: Welcome to Foonerville cahaya 06-27-17 112

   Taffnic foonermints 07-02-17 115

RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 06-30-17 113

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville cahaya 06-30-17 114

Foonerville © Sunset.. foonermints 07-02-17 116

   RE: Foonerville © Sunset.. cahaya 07-03-17 117

       RE: Foonerville © Sunset.. foonermints 07-03-17 118

   RE: Foonerville © Sunset.. kingfish 07-03-17 119

       RE: Foonerville © Sunset.. kingfish 07-07-17 120

           RE: Foonerville © Sunset.. cahaya 07-07-17 121

       RE: Foonerville © In Winter.. foonermints 07-08-17 122

           RE: Foonerville © In Winter.. kingfish 07-09-17 123

           RE: Foonerville © In Winter.. kingfish 07-10-17 124

               RE: Foonerville © In Winter.. foonermints 07-10-17 125

                   Makalu foonermints 07-10-17 126

                       RE: Makalu kingfish 07-10-17 127

                           RE: Makalu foonermints 07-11-17 128

                               RE: Makalu kingfish 07-12-17 129

                                   Boobies.. foonermints 07-13-17 130

                                       RE: Boobies.. kingfish 07-13-17 131

RE: Welcome to Foonerville taffnic 07-13-17 132

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 07-13-17 133

       RE: Welcome to Foonerville cahaya 07-14-17 134

           Throw out the case, Judge.... kingfish 07-15-17 135

               Piccolos? foonermints 07-17-17 137

   FishKing Is Correct! foonermints 07-17-17 136

       RE: FishKing Is Correct! kingfish 07-17-17 138

Welcome to Fooner Isle kingfish 07-20-17 139

   RE: Welcome to Fooner Isle kingfish 07-26-17 140

A Thank You from Your Mayor foonermints 07-27-17 141

   Now there's a... cahaya 07-27-17 142

       AND foonermints 07-31-17 143

           RE: AND cahaya 07-31-17 144

               Skunks foonermints 07-31-17 145

                   RE: Skunks kingfish 07-31-17 146

                       RE: Skunks foonermints 08-04-17 147

RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 08-18-17 148

   My Minions foonermints 08-22-17 149

       RE: My Minions kingfish 08-22-17 150

RE: Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 08-29-17 151

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 09-01-17 152

RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 09-24-17 153

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 10-04-17 154

RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 10-13-17 155

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 10-13-17 156

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 10-27-17 157

RE: Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 10-30-17 158

RE: Foonerville © Announces foonermints 11-13-17 159

Gun Control @ Foonerville© foonermints 11-19-17 160

Remember! foonermints 11-29-17 161

   RE: Remember! kingfish 12-09-17 162

       RE: Remember! cahaya 12-11-17 163

           RE: Remember! kingfish 12-11-17 164

               I Want foonermints 12-11-17 165

                   You got it kingfish 12-11-17 166

                       RE: You got it foonermints 12-21-17 167

Time to get out the mop kingfish 01-10-18 168

RE: Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 01-11-18 169

So I Missed Christmas foonermints 01-17-18 170

   RE: So I Missed Christmas kingfish 01-17-18 171

       RE: So I Missed Christmas foonermints 01-18-18 173

   Woodstock baby? cahaya 01-18-18 176

       Makes me think.. foonermints 01-18-18 177

RE: Welcome to Foonerville cahaya 01-18-18 172

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 01-18-18 174

       RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 01-18-18 175

           Served Him Right foonermints 01-18-18 178

               RE: Served Him Right kingfish 01-19-18 179

                   RE: Served Him Right foonermints 01-20-18 180

                       RE: Served Him Right kingfish 01-20-18 181

                           Plus Coffee foonermints 01-21-18 182

                               RE: Plus Coffee kingfish 01-21-18 183

                                   Good foonermints 01-22-18 184

                                       RE: Good cahaya 01-22-18 185

                                           Soon With foonermints 01-22-18 186

                                               RE: Soon With kingfish 01-23-18 187

                                                   RE: Soon With cahaya 01-23-18 188

                                                       RE: Soon With kingfish 01-23-18 189

                                                           Go Over To foonermints 01-23-18 190

                                                               RE: Go Over To kingfish 01-24-18 191

RE: Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 01-25-18 192

   Shot? cahaya 01-25-18 193

       RE: Shot? foonermints 01-25-18 194

           RE: Shot? kingfish 01-26-18 195

               RE: Shot? foonermints 01-26-18 196

                   RE: Shot? kingfish 01-26-18 197

           me? jbug 01-27-18 198

               Isn't it Good? foonermints 01-27-18 199

                   SWOOP BLOCK jbug 01-27-18 200

                       Are You Sayin' foonermints 01-27-18 201

                           RE: Are You Sayin' kingfish 01-27-18 202

                               AhA! foonermints 01-27-18 203

                   Not as scary... cahaya 01-27-18 205

                       RE: Not as scary... foonermints 01-27-18 206

                           Then you'll appreciate this molecul... cahaya 01-28-18 207

                               RE: Then you'll appreciate this mol... foonermints 01-28-18 208

                                   RE: Then you'll appreciate this mol... kingfish 01-28-18 209

                                       From the poppy fields... cahaya 01-30-18 211

                                           RE: From the poppy fields... foonermints 01-31-18 213

                                               RE: From the poppy fields... kingfish 01-31-18 215

                                                   RE: From the poppy fields... cahaya 01-31-18 216

                                       RE: Then you'll appreciate this mol... foonermints 01-31-18 212

                                           The transcendence molecule cahaya 01-31-18 214

Citizens of Foonerville © foonermints 01-27-18 204

   RE: Citizens of Foonerville © kingfish 01-28-18 210

       RE: Citizens of Foonerville © foonermints 02-01-18 217

           RE: Citizens of Foonerville © cahaya 02-01-18 218

Fellow Citizens of Foonerville© foonermints 02-04-18 219

   RE: Fellow Citizens of Foonerville© kingfish 02-04-18 220

       That's They Beauty of It foonermints 02-04-18 221

           RE: That's They Beauty of It cahaya 02-06-18 222

               RE: That's They Beauty of It foonermints 02-07-18 223

                   RE: That's They Beauty of It jbug 02-09-18 224

                       RE: That's They Beauty of It kingfish 02-09-18 225

                           RE: That's They Beauty of It cahaya 02-09-18 226

                               Currently.. foonermints 02-10-18 227

RE: Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 02-11-18 228

Valentines Day @ Foonerville©. foonermints 02-14-18 229

   RE: Valentines Day @ Foonerville©. cahaya 02-15-18 230

       Fooneranch© cahaya 02-15-18 231

           RE: Fooneranch© foonermints 02-15-18 232

               RE: Fooneranch© kingfish 02-15-18 233

                   Well? kingfish 02-19-18 234

                       RE: Well? cahaya 02-19-18 235

                           Jeez.. foonermints 02-21-18 236

                               Lazy is... kingfish 02-21-18 237

                                   Rather Lewd. foonermints 02-21-18 238

                                       That's how I roll... kingfish 02-23-18 239

                                           RE: That's how I roll... foonermints 02-23-18 240

                                               RE: That's how I roll... kingfish 02-23-18 241

                                                   RE: That's how I roll... foonermints 02-25-18 242

                                                       RE: That's how I roll... kingfish 02-25-18 243

                                                       Loving this.... jbug 02-27-18 244

                                                           RE: Loving this.... kingfish 02-28-18 245

                                                               RE: Loving this.... jbug 03-01-18 246

                                                                   RE: Loving this.... kingfish 03-02-18 247

                                                                       For Instant Gratification foonermints 03-02-18 248

                                                                           RE: For Instant Gratification kingfish 03-02-18 250

                                                           How to post a link cahaya 03-02-18 249

                                                               RE: How to post a link kingfish 03-03-18 251

                                                               RE: How to post a link jbug 03-20-18 278

Question: kingfish 03-06-18 252

   RE: Question: cahaya 03-07-18 253

       Sure.. foonermints 03-07-18 254

       RE: Question: kingfish 03-07-18 255

           RE: Question: foonermints 03-07-18 256

               RE: Question: kingfish 03-07-18 257

RE: Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 03-08-18 258

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 03-08-18 259

       RE: Welcome to Foonerville cahaya 03-08-18 260

           RE: Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 03-09-18 261

               Did you know that Foonerville had a... kingfish 03-09-18 262

                   Bessie's Kick foonermints 03-09-18 263

                       RE: Bessie's Kick kingfish 03-10-18 264

                           Burro foonermints 03-10-18 265

                               Rum thirty kingfish 03-10-18 266

                                   RE: Rum thirty cahaya 03-11-18 267

                                       RE: Rum thirty kingfish 03-11-18 269

Suburbs foonermints 03-11-18 268

   RE: Suburbs kingfish 03-12-18 270

       RE: Suburbs foonermints 03-12-18 271

           What you're looking for is... cahaya 03-14-18 272

               RE: What you're looking for is... kingfish 03-14-18 273

               RE: What you're looking for is... kingfish 03-15-18 274

RE: Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 03-19-18 275

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 03-19-18 276

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville cahaya 03-19-18 277

       Cyborg Cars foonermints 03-20-18 279

           RE: Cyborg Cars kingfish 03-20-18 280

Foonerville © foonermints 03-23-18 281

   RE: Foonerville © cahaya 03-24-18 282

       RE: Foonerville © kingfish 03-24-18 283

           Look UP ↑ foonermints 03-24-18 284

               RE: Now Look DOWN ↓ kingfish 03-25-18 285

                   I Reccommend: foonermints 03-26-18 286

                       RE: I Reccommend: kingfish 03-26-18 287

                           Again, I Recommend: foonermints 03-26-18 288

                               RE: Again, I Recommend: kingfish 03-26-18 289

                                   10 Gauge foonermints 03-26-18 290

                                       A Side Job foonermints 03-26-18 291

                                       RE: 10 Gauge kingfish 03-27-18 294

                                           RE: 10 Gauge foonermints 03-28-18 295

                           RE: I Reccommend: cahaya 03-27-18 292

                               Yes! foonermints 03-27-18 293

                                   RE: Yes! kingfish 03-28-18 296

                                       RE: Yes! foonermints 03-28-18 297

                                           RE: Yes! kingfish 03-29-18 298

*BOINK* foonermints 03-29-18 299

   Triple! cahaya 03-29-18 300

   RE: *BOINK* kingfish 03-31-18 301

       RE: *BOINK* cahaya 04-01-18 302

           RE: *BOINK* kingfish 04-02-18 303

               Oh, It's Real All Right foonermints 04-03-18 304

                   RE: Oh, It's Real All Right kingfish 04-04-18 305

                       RE: Oh, It's Real All Right cahaya 04-04-18 306

                           RE: Oh, It's Real All Right kingfish 04-04-18 307

                               RE: Oh, It's Real All Right foonermints 04-04-18 308

                                   RE: Oh, It's Real All Right kingfish 04-04-18 309

                                       RE: Oh, It's Real All Right foonermints 04-04-18 310

                                           RE: Oh, It's Real All Right kingfish 04-04-18 311

                                               RE: Oh, It's Real All Right foonermints 04-04-18 312

                                                   Helga! cahaya 04-05-18 313

RE: Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 04-06-18 314

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 04-07-18 315

       RE: Welcome to Foonerville cahaya 04-08-18 316

           RE: Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 04-08-18 317

Another Reward From Foonerville© foonermints 04-08-18 318

RE: Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 04-13-18 319

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 04-16-18 320

       RE: Welcome to Foonerville cahaya 04-17-18 321

           Your ~~King~~ foonermints 04-18-18 322

               RE: Your ~~King~~ cahaya 04-19-18 323

RE: Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 04-21-18 324

RE: Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 04-21-18 325

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 04-21-18 326

       RE: Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 04-22-18 327

           RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 04-22-18 328

               Election? cahaya 04-24-18 329

                   RE: Election? kingfish 04-24-18 330

                       RE: Election? foonermints 04-24-18 331

                           RE: Election? cahaya 04-25-18 332

                           RE: Election? kingfish 04-25-18 333

                               RE: Election? foonermints 04-27-18 334

A Test.. foonermints 04-27-18 335

   RE: A Test.. cahaya 05-02-18 340

       RE: A Test.. foonermints 05-02-18 341

       RE: A Test.. kingfish 05-06-18 342

           RE: A Test.. foonermints 05-07-18 343

The Outskirts.. foonermints 04-28-18 336

   RE: The Outskirts.. cahaya 04-29-18 337

       RE: The Outskirts.. foonermints 04-29-18 338

           RE: The Outskirts.. kingfish 04-30-18 339

Your Mayor foonermints 05-07-18 344

   RE: Your Mayor kingfish 05-07-18 345

       RE: Your Mayor foonermints 05-07-18 346

           RE: Your Mayor kingfish 05-07-18 347

           Godzilla in a tutu cahaya 05-10-18 348

In the Future.. foonermints 05-10-18 349

   RE: In the Future.. cahaya 05-10-18 350

       RE: In the Future.. foonermints 05-10-18 351

           Bare dare cahaya 05-11-18 352

               RE: Bare dare kingfish 05-12-18 353

                   Bare Fanny! foonermints 05-12-18 354

                       Butt.. foonermints 05-12-18 355

                           RE: Butt.. kingfish 05-14-18 356

                               Roll 'em... cahaya 05-14-18 357

                       Bare Fanny! cahaya 05-14-18 358

                           RE: Bare Fanny! kingfish 05-16-18 359

                               RE: Bare Fanny! foonermints 05-16-18 360

                                   RE: Bare Fanny! cahaya 05-17-18 361

                                       RE: Bare Fanny! kingfish 05-17-18 362

                                           RE: Bare Fanny! cahaya 05-18-18 363

                                               Butt it's fanny! kingfish 05-18-18 364

                                                   In the Anals of puns: kingfish 05-18-18 365

Your Mayor foonermints 05-24-18 366

   RE: Your Mayor kingfish 05-24-18 367

       Our mayor is... cahaya 05-24-18 368

           RE: Our mayor is... kingfish 05-26-18 369

               And dear not nice POTUS gets it wro... cahaya 05-29-18 370

                   Oh, and... 25% off! cahaya 05-29-18 371

                   RE: And dear not nice POTUS gets it... foonermints 05-29-18 372

                       This just in! moonbaby 05-29-18 373

                           RE: This just in! kingfish 05-30-18 374

                               RE: This just in! foonermints 06-01-18 376

                           RE: This just in! foonermints 06-04-18 378

Free Donut Day! foonermints 06-01-18 375

   DOH! kingfish 06-02-18 377

It's National _________ Day! cahaya 06-07-18 379

   RE: It's National _________ Day! kingfish 06-08-18 380

Watch out, Fooner! cahaya 06-13-18 381

   Foonerville © foonermints 06-13-18 382

       RE: Foonerville © cahaya 06-13-18 383

           Catalina! foonermints 06-13-18 384

Foonerville foonermints 06-14-18 385

Looking Out foonermints 07-23-18 386

RE: Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 08-07-18 387

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville cahaya 08-08-18 388

       RE: Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 08-08-18 389

           RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 08-10-18 390

RE: Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 10-22-18 391

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 10-22-18 392

       CHEAP! foonermints 10-23-18 393

           RE: CHEAP! kingfish 10-23-18 394

RE: Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 10-31-18 395

   We would hire her... kingfish 10-31-18 396

Be Nice! foonermints 01-13-19 397

   RE: Be Nice! kingfish 01-15-19 398

       BOINK! foonermints 01-15-19 399

sw00p ARnutz 01-15-19 400

   RE: sw00p foonermints 01-16-19 401

   RE: sw00p jbug 01-18-19 402

   RE: sw00p cahaya 01-21-19 403

Get Away! foonermints 01-23-19 404

   RE: Get Away! kingfish 01-24-19 405

       Cripey! foonermints 01-26-19 407

           RE: Cripey! kingfish 01-26-19 409

               Or Operating Machinery foonermints 01-27-19 411

   RE: Get Away! cahaya 01-25-19 406

       RE: Get Away! kingfish 01-26-19 408

           RE: Get Away! cahaya 01-26-19 410

               Post Count? foonermints 01-27-19 412

                   RE: Post Count? cahaya 01-28-19 413

RE: Welcome to Foonerville/State of... foonermints 02-05-19 414

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville/State of... kingfish 02-05-19 415

       Beer Bottle Flinging foonermints 02-05-19 416

           RE: Beer Bottle Flinging kingfish 02-05-19 417

               Pee Bottle. foonermints 02-05-19 418

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville/State of... cahaya 02-09-19 419

It's time to declare an emergency! cahaya 02-15-19 420

RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 02-16-19 421

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville jbug 02-17-19 422

       RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 02-18-19 423

           RE: Welcome to Foonerville cahaya 02-18-19 424

               RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 02-19-19 425

                   RE: Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 02-19-19 426

                       RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 02-19-19 427

                           RE: Welcome to Foonerville cahaya 02-20-19 428

RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 02-26-19 429

   Rollin'! cahaya 03-01-19 430

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 03-02-19 431

RE:Rough Times! foonermints 03-23-19 432

   RE:Rough Times! kingfish 03-23-19 433

RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 04-15-19 434

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville cahaya 04-15-19 435

       RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 04-15-19 436

           RE: Welcome to Foonerville cahaya 04-16-19 437

               RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 04-16-19 438

                   That's the Beauty of it... foonermints 04-17-19 439

                       RE: That's the Beauty of it... cahaya 04-18-19 440

                           RE: That's the Beauty of it... kingfish 04-19-19 441

Not Impressed foonermints 05-02-19 442

   RE: Not Impressed kingfish 05-02-19 443

       That Would Work foonermints 05-02-19 444

           RE: That Would Work kingfish 05-03-19 445

               RE: That Would Work foonermints 05-04-19 446

                   RE: That Would Work kingfish 05-04-19 447

                       RE: That Would Work foonermints 05-04-19 448

       RE: Not Impressed kingfish 05-08-19 449

           Hep Me foonermints 05-08-19 450

               RE: Hep Me kingfish 05-08-19 451

   RE: Not Impressed cahaya 05-09-19 452

       Really Fascinating! foonermints 05-09-19 453

           Fooner: Age 6 cahaya 05-10-19 454

               RE: Fooner: Age 6 foonermints 05-10-19 455

                   RE: Fooner: Age 6 kingfish 05-10-19 456

                       That's Because foonermints 05-11-19 457

Back @ The Ranch foonermints 05-11-19 458

   RE: Back @ The Ranch kingfish 05-11-19 459

       RE: Back @ The Ranch foonermints 05-11-19 460

           RE: Back @ The Ranch kingfish 05-12-19 461

               "and back to sawn again"? foonermints 05-12-19 462

                   RE: "and back to sawn again"? kingfish 05-12-19 463

                       Better Have a Cauliflower Crust foonermints 05-13-19 464

   RE: Back @ The Ranch.. Again foonermints 05-13-19 465

       Jolly cahaya 05-15-19 468

           You Win foonermints 05-16-19 469

   RE: Back @ The Ranch cahaya 05-13-19 466

       RE: Back @ The Ranch foonermints 05-13-19 467

Getting Bored. foonermints 05-16-19 470

   RE: Getting Bored. kingfish 05-17-19 471

   So, you've got... cahaya 05-17-19 472

       RE: So, you've got... foonermints 05-18-19 473

           Getcher boots on... cahaya 05-28-19 474

               RE: Getcher boots on... kingfish 05-29-19 475

*Sigh* foonermints 06-06-19 476

   RE: *Sigh* kidflash212 06-08-19 477

       RE: *Sigh* kingfish 06-11-19 478

           RE: *Sigh* cahaya 06-11-19 479

               RE: *Sigh* kingfish 06-14-19 480

On The FoonerTrain© foonermints 06-19-19 481

   RE: On The FoonerTrain© kingfish 06-19-19 482

   RE: On The FoonerTrain© cahaya 06-19-19 483

       RE: On The FoonerTrain© foonermints 06-23-19 484

Reports of the Rattlesnake foonermints 07-03-19 485

   RE: Reports of the Rattlesnake kingfish 07-03-19 486

   Quaky snaky cahaya 07-05-19 487

       RE: Quaky snaky kingfish 07-07-19 488

           My guess? cahaya 07-08-19 489

               RE: My guess? kingfish 07-09-19 490

                   RE: My guess? cahaya 07-09-19 491

                       RE: My Half? Trump will Loose One S... foonermints 07-15-19 492

                           RE: My Half? Trump will Loose One S... cahaya 07-15-19 493

                               Washington DC? foonermints 07-16-19 494

                                   RE: Washington DC? cahaya 07-18-19 495

                                       I'll Give It 50% foonermints 07-19-19 496

                                           RE: I'll Give It 50% cahaya 07-19-19 497

                                               Foonerville© foonermints 07-19-19 498

                                                   RE: Foonerville© kingfish 07-20-19 499

                                                       RE: Foonerville© kingfish 07-20-19 500

                                                           RE: Foonerville© cahaya 07-21-19 501

                                                   RE: Foonerville© cahaya 07-21-19 502

No More Politics in Foonerville. foonermints 07-22-19 503

   RE: No More Politics in Foonerville... cahaya 07-22-19 504

       Completely Legal foonermints 07-23-19 505

   RE: No More Politics in Foonerville... kingfish 07-23-19 506

RE: Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 07-31-19 507

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 07-31-19 508

       Have you heard this one? kingfish 08-01-19 509

           RE: Have you heard this one? foonermints 08-02-19 510

               Stand up night at the Foonerville B... kingfish 08-03-19 511

                   Of Course, It's Even More Interesti... foonermints 08-03-19 512

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 08-08-19 513

RE: Welcome to Foonerville FUN! foonermints 08-12-19 514

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville FUN! cahaya 08-13-19 515

       RE: Welcome to Foonerville FUN! kingfish 08-14-19 516

           RE: Welcome to Foonerville FUN! cahaya 08-14-19 517

               Bleh. foonermints 08-15-19 518

                   RE: Bleh. cahaya 08-15-19 519

                       ttRE: Bleh. kingfish 08-15-19 520

                           RE: ttRE: Bleh. cahaya 08-15-19 521

                               RE: ttRE: Bleh. kingfish 08-17-19 522

                                   RE: ttRE: Bleh. cahaya 08-17-19 523

                                       RE: ttRE: Bleh. kingfish 08-18-19 524

                                           Walmart Hero cahaya 08-18-19 525

                                               RE: Walmart Hero foonermints 08-19-19 526

                                                   RE: Walmart Hero cahaya 08-21-19 527

                                                       Wakhan Corridor foonermints 09-06-19 531

                                                           RE: Wakhan Corridor kingfish 09-06-19 532

                                                   RE: Walmart Hero kingfish 08-28-19 528

RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 08-30-19 529

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 09-03-19 530

RE: Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 09-11-19 533

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 09-11-19 534

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 09-15-19 535

       RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 09-25-19 536

RE: Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 10-06-19 537

RE: Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 10-06-19 538

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 10-08-19 539

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville cahaya 10-09-19 540

       RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 10-14-19 541

           RE: Welcome to Foonerville cahaya 10-14-19 542

               RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 10-14-19 543

                   RE: Welcome to Foonerville cahaya 10-15-19 544

                       SHOOT! foonermints 10-17-19 545

                           RE: SHOOT! kingfish 10-18-19 546

Ukraine kingfish 10-29-19 547

   RE: Ukraine cahaya 11-01-19 548

       RE: The Entire Ukraine Knows foonermints 11-02-19 549

           RE: The Entire Ukraine Knows cahaya 11-03-19 550

           RE: The Entire Ukraine Knows kingfish 11-04-19 551

               RE: The Entire Ukraine Knows cahaya 11-04-19 552

                   RE: The Entire Ukraine Knows kingfish 11-04-19 553

                       The Dirt Platform! foonermints 11-12-19 554

                           RE: The Dirt Platform! kingfish 11-12-19 555

RE: Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 11-12-19 556

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 11-13-19 557

RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 11-27-19 558

RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 11-30-19 559

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville cahaya 12-02-19 560

Left Overs foonermints 12-07-19 561

   RE: Left Overs kingfish 12-08-19 562

       RE: Left Overs foonermints 12-08-19 563

           RE: Left Overs kingfish 12-19-19 565

Time To Watch Old Movies! foonermints 12-19-19 564

   RE: Time To Watch Old Movies! kingfish 12-19-19 566

   So says the Man... cahaya 12-20-19 567

RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 01-03-20 568

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville cahaya 01-05-20 569

       RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 01-10-20 570

           RE: Welcome to Foonerville cahaya 01-16-20 571

               RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 01-17-20 572

This place... cahaya 01-23-20 573

   RE: This place... kingfish 01-23-20 574

   Your Mayor.. foonermints 01-26-20 575

       I stand corrected... cahaya 01-26-20 576

           RE: I stand corrected... foonermints 01-27-20 578

       RE: Your Mayor.. kingfish 01-27-20 577

           RE: Your Mayor.. foonermints 01-27-20 579

               RE: Your Mayor.. kingfish 01-27-20 580

                   RE: Your Mayor.. foonermints 01-28-20 581

                   RE: Your Mayor.. foonermints 01-30-20 582

                       RE: Your Mayor.. cahaya 01-30-20 583

                           RE: Your Mayor.. kingfish 01-30-20 584

Public Notice cahaya 02-28-20 585

   RE: Public Notice kingfish 03-01-20 586

   RE: Public Notice kingfish 03-14-20 587

       RE: Public Notice foonermints 03-16-20 588

           RE: Public Notice kingfish 03-17-20 589

               RE: Public Notice foonermints 04-30-20 590

RE: Welcome to Foonerville foonermints 07-23-20 591

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville kingfish 07-25-20 592

   RE: Welcome to Foonerville cahaya 07-27-20 593

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Messages in this topic

foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
04-23-17, 02:31 PM (EST)

1. "*Claps Hands Together* YES!!"

My very own town! Dayuuum!
You are right! We'll set up the Town Still right behind my new office. A copper vat as big as the ones those girls used to bathe in on "Petticoat Juncction"!
No stop lights? You bet. Just a speed trap consisting of a log that falls on the car if it's going faster than I want it to, which is whatever I feel like. The "Speed Trap Log" will only fall near more expensive cars, which I will confiscate. The fine? Two years hard labor for the miscreant - In the local peach orchards (brandy) and Corn Fields (duh).
Now.. as to loud music.. I will expand on this
As Lieutenant Mayor, I appoint Kingfish, although I may kick him to the curb in favor of greenmachine. Who will step up? And who will fix that crooked rain gutter over my new store?

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
04-23-17, 07:47 PM (EST)

2. "Applying..."

...for the position of town dirty old man.
I think I have a knack.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
04-23-17, 09:24 PM (EST)

4. "RE: *Claps Hands Together* YES!!"

Well, howdy, Mayor Fooner! I hear ya needs a new sheriff to trap them thar outatown speedsters in their fancy schmancy cars!
If you gots ya a sheriff awready, I'll happily serve as the tax collector and treasurer.

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jbug 17144 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
04-23-17, 09:03 PM (EST)

3. "applying for position of...."

? ummmmm..... what's available?

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
04-24-17, 06:15 PM (EST)

5. "RE: applying for position of...."

What are you interested in, Ms jBug? No doubt a position of Authority! Deputy Mayor? Someone has to look after the shenanigans of The Official Dirty Old Man, and keep the new Sherrif under control with that new Red Tesla he got yesterday.
Hmm.. how did he afford that the first day on the job?

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
04-24-17, 07:08 PM (EST)

6. "RE: applying for position of...."

Also, the position of Roving Reporter for the Foonerville Funtime News is open. In Foonerville, the news is not restricted by facts.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
04-24-17, 07:53 PM (EST)

7. "Uh Oh!"

The Dirty Old Man may be a spy for FOX.
Keep your eye on him, Sherrif!
Deputy Mayor jBug: Watch them both. As closely as we should have been watching that Suzzee girl, wherever SHE vanished to.
Is there a black hole located South of town?

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jbug 17144 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
04-24-17, 10:01 PM (EST)

8. "RE: Uh Oh!"

black hole? I don't know about that....
but I'm pretty sure there is a hangin tree near by if needed....
yes, I'm that kind of sheriff

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
04-25-17, 06:48 PM (EST)

9. "Co-Sherrif!"

OK, you are Oficially Co-Sherrif with Cahaya. You look after the hangings, and anybody left can be delt with by your partner.
I hear he makes a mean Pasta Fazool.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
04-25-17, 10:27 PM (EST)

10. "RE: Co-Sherrif!"

Woo, I gots me a depetty, an' a lady at that, yeehaw!
Dunna worry, I'll give her plenty of rope.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
04-26-17, 03:26 AM (EST)

11. "Remember"

LAST EDITED ON 04-26-17 AT 03:27 AM (EST)
The Dirty Old Man is protected from hanging by Mayoral Decree.
Plus, I think he hangs out near that tree waiting for entertainment, when he isn't guzzling moonshine at the Foonerbar.

My best customer, if he'd only pay his bill. Probably ony carries Quatloos or something.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
04-26-17, 10:34 PM (EST)

12. "Foonerbar..."

... ist wunderbar!

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jbug 17144 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
04-30-17, 08:56 PM (EST)

19. "RE: Co-Sherrif!"

smoochies....

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
04-28-17, 03:29 PM (EST)

13. "Foonerville"

Does NOT need a new roof. Certainly not from spamming idiots.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
04-28-17, 07:32 PM (EST)

14. "RE: Foonerville"

We got a she-sheriff who was elected on the platform of making the hanging tree great again by hanging spammers.
Much more fun than hanging Chad, after the first couple of times old Chad kinda lost his entertainment value. And he sorta stunk too. Spammers are a lot more fun to watch turn blue and purple and green. They keep coming back, so we might as well and make use of them.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
04-28-17, 08:23 PM (EST)

15. "RE: Foonerville"

Fertilizer!

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
04-29-17, 01:44 AM (EST)

16. "RE: Foonerville"

And no nail stylists, neither!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
04-29-17, 03:46 AM (EST)

17. "RE: Foonerville"

Unless she is cute, legal and will work next door to both the Foonerbar© and helps the girls "Upstairs" in the Kingfish Tavern". They need to look their best, claws and all.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
04-30-17, 01:41 PM (EST)

18. "RE: Foonerville"

Ye Olde Kingfish Tavern!
Home base for really really cute but raunchy girls of the upstairs entertainment corps. They do give parking validations.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
05-03-17, 12:51 PM (EST)

20. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville ©"

Foonerville © will be updating The Kingfish Tavern "massage spa", complete with sauna and steam bath, and of course, hot tubs. This was possible due to ~~all the "under the table money"~~ generous ~~kickbacks~~ donations to the Mayor's reelection campaign. Which ~~by the way is unneeded as he is the unopposed Fearless Leader of Foonerville©~~ is greatly appreciated ~~not to mention the side benefits~~.

As an addendum: Henceforth and Forever Dr Phil and similar Dodo Birds are banned from the town limits (although they may still be hunted with a size 12 boot and larger in the woods on the outskirts, for a good kicking.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
05-03-17, 11:09 PM (EST)

21. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville ©"

although they may still be hunted with a ~~size~~ 12 gauge shotgun ~~boot~~ and larger in the woods on the outskirts, for a good ~~kicking~~ recoil.
Fixed.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
05-04-17, 01:55 PM (EST)

22. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville ©"

Had a slight problem with my "train of thought" there. The Mayor appreciates your correction!
All Whoopi Goldbergs and even look-alikes are also banned to the size 12 woods out-of-town.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
05-04-17, 08:42 PM (EST)

23. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville ©"

Just don't ban Miami beach babes. I would be sad.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
05-04-17, 10:29 PM (EST)

24. "Foonerville ©"

Your Mayor has only seen pictures. Miami Beach Babes are definitely welcome in MY town. As long as they are clothed in an appropriate fashion.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
05-04-17, 11:59 PM (EST)

25. "RE: Foonerville ©"

Miami Beach Babes are definitely welcome in MY town. As long as they are unclothed in an appropriate fashion.
Fixed.
The local sheriff here won't make any misdemeanor arrests for in decent exposure.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
05-05-17, 03:03 AM (EST)

26. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

LAST EDITED ON 05-05-17 AT 03:22 AM (EST)

The council is working on an official song.. I was thinking "Land Ho" by the Doors..
Emmylou Harris is also a possibility. I like to hear her yammering out of Ye Odle Kingfish Tavern. Yodeling?

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
05-05-17, 01:36 PM (EST)

27. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

LAST EDITED ON 05-05-17 AT 01:37 PM (EST)
Emmy Lou can wag her epiglottis in ye olde tavern any older time.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
05-05-17, 10:05 PM (EST)

28. "Land Ho!"

Grandma loved a sailor, who sailed the frozen sea
Grandpa was that whaler and he took me on his knee
He said: "Son, I'm going crazy from livin' on the land
Got to find my shipmates and walk on foreign sands"
This old man was graceful with silver in his smile
He smoked a briar pipe and he walked four country miles
Singing songs of shady sisters and old time liberty
Songs of love and songs of death and songs to set men free
Ya!
I've got three ships and sixteen men
A course for ports unread
I'll stand at mast, let north winds blow till half of us are dead
Land ho!
Well, if I get my hands on a dollar bill gonna buy a bottle and drink my fill
If I get my hands on a number five gonna skin that litlle girl alive
If I get my hand on a number two come back home and marry you
Marry you, marry you
Alright!
Land ho!

Piracy on the high seas and flying of the Jolly Roger by agman

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
05-06-17, 00:15 AM (EST)

29. "Cocaine"

LAST EDITED ON 05-06-17 AT 00:33 AM (EST)
Friggin' Ye Olde KingFish Tavern. If i ever hear Eric Clapton again, I'll have to buy concert tickets. Although I can live with "Sweet Home Alabama" Makes me want to Kalabash my size 12.
Oz Never Gave anything to the Tin Man, either.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
05-06-17, 01:24 PM (EST)

30. "RE: Cocaine"

Saved a little moonshine,eh?

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
05-06-17, 04:52 PM (EST)

31. "Long Gone"

Might need a Summer Exchange. I'll host. Just quit SpecOps, but I am still the Goddam mayor of Foonerville ©

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
05-07-17, 08:07 AM (EST)

32. "RE: Long Gone"

Who's in charge of getting possums out of the basement? Don't say me, I won't go near one of those monster rats. They got teeth. And they hiss.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
05-07-17, 03:17 PM (EST)

33. "RE: Longer Around Than You"

Will ever be. Marsupials, breeding thousands of new Rats in your basement. Pray to the Baby Jesus it gets tired of your company and Leaveth They Way It Came..
Remember, they ate the Dinosaurs. Who's next?
'Possums are now the Official Bird of Foonerville©

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
05-12-17, 10:56 AM (EST)

39. "Mayor Fooney Brown"

There's a village hidden deep in the valley
Among the pine trees half forlorn
And there on a sunny morning
Mayor Fooney Brown was born
(bung, bung, bung, bung)
All the chapel bells were ringing in the little valley town
And the song that they were singing was for baby Fooney Brown
Then the little congregation prayed for guidance from above
"Lead us not into Boink-u-tation, bless this hour with a jar of Shine, Guide him to drinks on the house for all beach babes!!!!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
05-12-17, 07:42 PM (EST)

40. "Chapel Bells Go "BUNG"?!"

LAST EDITED ON 05-12-17 AT 07:46 PM (EST)
Great Poetry, but where's the tune? I henceforth declare "Mayor Fooney Brown" the official poem of Foonerville © Could be sung with a garage band as backup. Kick out Jim Morrison. This is fresher, and he's dead anyway. *sob*
Where is my last cask of Mead?! More Mead!! More Mead!!!
Then I can design some funky sigpics for Foonerville ©
"Tilts cask and sucks last drops from bunghole.."
Oh wait, that doesn't sound quite right..
^{Cr@p, I need a mouthpiece to write these thins.. {/Ricky Ricardo}}

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
05-12-17, 10:57 PM (EST)

41. "RE: Chapel Bells Go "BUNG"?!"

I was thinking of a CCR tune with Fogerty at the vocal lead, rhythm and key something like Born on the Bayou, something kingfish (living in those parts) would dig.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
05-12-17, 11:01 PM (EST)

42. "RE: Chapel Bells Go "BUNG"?!"

Yes they do. French bells do. Bung Bung Bung Bung.
But that's a good decision, the FoonerVille Anthem.
I wrote it many years ago (in France, 1945 in Bastogne recovering from wounds suffered in the battle of the bulge - I had to use the pseudonyms Jean Villard Gilles and Marc Herrand for legal reasons) and later recorded by Roy Orbison;
http://tinyurl.com/foonervilleanthem
I let him record it because he could hit higher notes than I could. Of course I could have changed to a more accessible key, but, well, Roy begged so miserably that I let him have it. And did I get any royalties? Did I? No. I didn't. So I let the Browns try it. They did pretty well too.
The nun who nursed me back to health? Well, that's another story which coincidently also involved barrels of mead.
So Bring on the Mead, I declare this to be Sexy Beach Bunny Nun Day.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
05-13-17, 02:41 AM (EST)

43. "Only The Lonely"

Still gotcha some of that Blabtist Preacher Inya? God take me to Heaven and throw me back to Hell. Why is the Mayor of Foonerville © still on the Plant? .. or PLANET.

I believe we need some pretty women on the Beach.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-07-17, 05:13 PM (EST)

34. "Welcome to Foonerville"

A nice day by the Foonerville© coast..

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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05-07-17, 11:28 PM (EST)

35. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

It looks kinda lonely out there... where are the beach babes?
You need to appoint a Foonerville tourism board to generate some interest in this sleepy town.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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05-08-17, 08:44 AM (EST)

36. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that the sleepy little town of zrfoonerville, which is in the middle of a national forest, also has an ocean.
And also don't want no stinkin' tourists. The hanging tree was plenty good enough entertainment for our pappys, and it's good enough for us.

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05-08-17, 06:50 PM (EST)

37. "Upon reflection,"

...we do have a need for a beach babes tourists bureau.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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05-08-17, 10:09 PM (EST)

38. "RE: Upon reflection,"

For sure... we've already got enough beach bums around here, just not enough beach buns.

Ragtop Ride by foonermints

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-13-17, 03:02 AM (EST)

44. "The Foonerville Coast.."

LAST EDITED ON 05-13-17 AT 03:09 AM (EST)

Not quite Midnight in the Gaden of Good and Evil.
Gadsden? Garden? Fu*k ie Wookie! Obviousl I misSpoke.
I let my words speak for themselves. Your Mayor might need some zHrelp,

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-13-17, 10:37 AM (EST)

45. "RE: The Foonerville Coast.."

Dad Gum It! Another "a" in "Gaden" and I could be John F. Kennedy!
No, your Mayor still hasn't sobered up.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-13-17, 10:55 AM (EST)

46. "Foonerville © Filming Rights"

Question: Should we allow Steven Seagull to film even worse than "B" grade movies in our town?

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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05-13-17, 11:37 AM (EST)

47. "RE: Foonerville © Filming Rights"

I say yes, if he isn't in them. Pornstars welcome to dine in Ye Olde Kingfish Inn while in town. Just stary out of the basement, scary hairy big assed rats down there, plus that's where Seagull stays.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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05-15-17, 01:41 PM (EST)

48. "RE: Foonerville © Filming Rights"

But we will allow filming of the movie adaptation of Jonathan Livingston Seagull on our beaches. Such an inspirational story, even if it's only about seagulls.
What about the rumored Baywatch 2 TV series?
Or the other rumor of a Jaws V movie? Are there any sharks in our waters? Kingfish oughta know.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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05-15-17, 03:01 PM (EST)

49. "RE: Foonerville © Filming Rights"

I am the shark in these waters. But I only bite beach babes. And an occasional seagull (the birdy type).
Bring on Baywatch.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-15-17, 05:50 PM (EST)

50. "Shark Attack! by The Surf Punks.."

LAST EDITED ON 05-16-17 AT 02:11 PM (EST)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nD3ZyFWYlLM
You'll need to cut and paste, lazies!
Why? Your Mayor is somehow handicapped in the brain..

AAh! reminds me of 1969.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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05-18-17, 11:41 PM (EST)

51. "Peace thru..."

Courtesy of the Foonerville Sheriff's Department & Foonerville Militia Corps

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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05-19-17, 10:19 AM (EST)

52. "RE: Peace thru..."

LAST EDITED ON 05-19-17 AT 07:06 PM (EST)
The Militia Corps. Aka the regular sots at the bar of Ye Olde Kingfish Saloon. Aka, us.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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05-19-17, 07:09 PM (EST)

53. "Foonerville Tourism Cordinator"

He has access to free travel vouchers, I hear.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-20-17, 00:09 AM (EST)

55. "RE: Foonerville Tourism Cordinator"

As Long as that stinkin' piece of Chinese pottery can get Beach Babes. Temporary hire..

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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05-20-17, 11:58 AM (EST)

56. "He keeps his mouth shut,"

and his eyes shut, and he can be weaponized. (that pointy head)

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-19-17, 08:45 PM (EST)

54. "Militia Tee Shirt.."

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-21-17, 02:49 PM (EST)

57. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

One of the many churches in Foonerville © is open.

We run a quiet and quaint little Ville here. Those who say we don't are lying, and they can damn well go to quieter places, like The Calgary Stampede, or freaking Sturgis during the Motorcycle Rally.
_{Enjoy South Dakota! Y'all wouldn't know a good time if it walked up to ya and smacked you in the face..}

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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05-24-17, 07:03 PM (EST)

58. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

LAST EDITED ON 05-24-17 AT 11:39 PM (EST)
The latest Foonerville news will be published in the "Better Foonerville than Soonerville Daily Picayune" in the Survivor Basher's "Be The Survivor" thread.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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05-27-17, 02:12 PM (EST)

59. "Fooner's retreat"

LAST EDITED ON 05-27-17 AT 02:39 PM (EST)

When Fooner needs a rest from the pressures of running the government of a busy metropolis like Foonerville (6 people, 6 chickens - oops, 5 chickens and a fresh batch of chicken fingers, one blind mountain goat and it's mate, an equally blind Yak, and a Skidoo), this is where you'll find him. If he manages to sober up and is tired of plowing the wheat fields as well as... ( well, 'nuff said), he parties hardy in the valley where the sun don't shine.
http://tinyurl.com/norse-canada
Welcome to Canada in Norway, where they both don't speak American.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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06-01-17, 01:03 AM (EST)

60. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

LAST EDITED ON 06-01-17 AT 01:12 AM (EST)
Foonerville ™ will now install speed bumps.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOM0Vq28wVc

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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06-01-17, 12:17 PM (EST)

61. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

The first ride in the Foonerville Fun Park, as well as Foonerville justice, and an alternate form of entertainment from the Hanging Tree.
Definitely not OSHA approved, but who needs those Nazis anyway?

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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06-01-17, 01:57 PM (EST)

62. "Gisele"

Wasn't too hot, anyway. We're putting Wolfgang in the basement laboratory. Your Mayor requires a pet Frankenstein!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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06-01-17, 05:25 PM (EST)

63. "So..."

Igor is fired?

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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06-03-17, 04:03 PM (EST)

64. "RE: So..."

I will be sending Igor out to procure organs..

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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06-04-17, 04:58 PM (EST)

67. "Do Not Disturb!"

Your Mayor is watching one of the Classics..
The Neanderthal Man
(1953)
A scientist turns his maid into an ape-woman, his cat into a tiger and himself into an ape-man.
Robert Shayne, Richard Crane, Doris Merrick, Robert Long, Joyce Terry

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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06-04-17, 06:36 PM (EST)

68. "RE: Do Not Disturb!"

Is the apewoman seeing anyone?

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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06-06-17, 10:34 PM (EST)

75. "Nah.."

Ape-girl is accessable, but your Mayor has moved on to more intrigueing "High-Brow" contemplation..
Journey to the Seventh Planet
(1962)
An astronaut leads U.N. explorers to Uranus, where a giant eye feeds them images from their minds.
John Agar, Greta Thyssen, Ann Smyrner, Ulla Moritz, Mimi Heinrich
I'm sending Igor through the basement time machine to retrieve Greta..

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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06-03-17, 10:59 PM (EST)

65. "Speed bumps?"

Hey, the local sheriff need those hurryin' speedin' outatown cars for revenue collection purposes, Mr FoonerMayor!

Ragtop Ride by foonermints
Nice flip there at the end!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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06-04-17, 11:18 AM (EST)

66. "RE: Speed bumps?"

Mo Money!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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06-07-17, 11:50 AM (EST)

76. "RE: Speed bumps?"

The Sherrif gets to go through their pockets immediately for any possible ~~cash and credit cards~~ ID, of course.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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06-05-17, 10:42 AM (EST)

69. "Who's got Mail?"

LAST EDITED ON 06-05-17 AT 10:44 AM (EST)
OK, whose been stealing my mail? If I don't get my Publisher's Clearing House Entries I can't win the millions they say I've already won, and if I don't get rich I will be an unhappy camper.
Just a tip to the mail carrier, that grumpy old man sitting on the porch with a shotgun and a menacing look on his face is harmless unless you are a teenager cutting across my (I mean his) lawn, or that pesky squirrel that keep stealing pecans from MY tree (I mean his tree). Those are MY pecans (I mean his) and no cute little bunnies or pesky squirrels are going to steal them from ME (I mean him).
Changing the subject, I still want to meet that sexy apewoman. Long hairy arms and a liking for picking fleas off my back turns me on. And I have a room above Me Olde Tavern for kinky goings on, so she can make a few bucks on the side. Which ever side she prefers.
Nothing like a shotgun toting Apewoman millionaire SWOOP to start the morning with, I tells ya.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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06-05-17, 08:54 PM (EST)

70. "Swoop!"

The only one who remembers..
Obviously, all that Moonshine didn't kill off the last Braincell. Better work on that..

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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06-06-17, 01:41 AM (EST)

71. "RE: Swoop!"

God bless that last brain cell.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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06-06-17, 02:55 PM (EST)

72. "RE: Swoop!"

LAST EDITED ON 06-06-17 AT 07:05 PM (EST)
Also kinda waiting on the letter from a Nigerian prince. So where's my mail?
And how's my little Sugar Ape baby? Her name should be Ape-ril because she's the Ape-ril of my eye.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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06-06-17, 10:19 PM (EST)

73. "RE: Swoop!"

Fine swoop and you've got me beat in the race to 20k.
If you're truly investigative, you'd visit your Nigerian prince for who he is. The princess might interest me.
As they say, Ape-ril showers bring May flowers and your Ape baby might be having one of her own.
You're the town King Kong, Ape man!

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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06-06-17, 10:24 PM (EST)

74. "RE: Who's got Mail?"

LAST EDITED ON 06-06-17 AT 10:26 PM (EST)
PCH is a lottery scam, with worthless online time to play the game. If you're doing snail mail, you'll always hear from them except about any winnings.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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06-07-17, 12:04 PM (EST)

77. "RE: Who's got Mail?"

But, but...they said I've already won.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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06-07-17, 02:51 PM (EST)

78. "Your Weight"

In weiners? Gisele would be happy!

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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06-07-17, 05:06 PM (EST)

79. "RE: Your Weight"

Hawt dawg!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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06-07-17, 06:17 PM (EST)

80. "RE: Your Weight"

That's a lot of wiener.
Enough to please even the Ape lady.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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06-12-17, 02:13 PM (EST)

81. "Do NOT bring to Foonerville ©"

The Angry Red Planet
(1959)
Believed lost, a manned flight to Mars returns with only two survivors, one of whom has an unkillable growth on his arm.
Gerald Mohr, Nora Hayden, Les Tremayne, Jack Kruschen, Paul Hahn
Les Tremayne? Where is his band of Re-Noun?

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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06-12-17, 04:19 PM (EST)

82. "RE: Do NOT bring to Foonerville ©"

I returned from Boy Scout camp one year with something like that on my arm, too.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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06-12-17, 05:26 PM (EST)

83. "RE: Do NOT bring to Foonerville ©"

Your Mayor only got poison ivy. Deadly around the Santa Barbara mountains. I used to dance with Jumping Cholla too.
All such miserable plants are henceforth banned from Foonerville© Pulled up and shipped to Afghanistan.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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06-17-17, 08:07 PM (EST)

84. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

As Kingfish is wandering in the caves dug by Amazing Race travel gnomes, in search of a piece of metal to poke Igor's foot so he can get some Moonshine, your Mayor is busy watching educational TV on a very pleasant Saturday..
Galaxina
(1980)
A blond robot policewoman patrols space in 3008 with a crewman who wishes she were human.
Dorothy Stratten, Stephen Macht, Avery Schreiber, William Sachs

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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06-18-17, 09:33 AM (EST)

85. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Sounds kinda raunchy. For a Saturday morning.
Which, as we all know, is an improvement.

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jbug 17144 desperate attention whore postings
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06-18-17, 08:53 PM (EST)

86. "Y'all need to...."

wish me a belated happy birthday (it was Friday!)! Oh the days of the majestic b'day threads.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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06-18-17, 09:35 PM (EST)

87. "Wishing you..."

... happy birthday, jbug!
Thanks for sharing your experiences in the years gone by, you've gone through a lot, fine lady.

Surfkitten Summer sigshop 2008

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jbug 17144 desperate attention whore postings
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06-19-17, 10:04 AM (EST)

90. "RE: Wishing you..."

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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06-18-17, 10:38 PM (EST)

88. "RE: Y'all need to...."

H on the Bday, Bug.
(that's how the kids talk these days. I'm very hip.)

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jbug 17144 desperate attention whore postings
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06-19-17, 10:04 AM (EST)

89. "RE: Y'all need to...."

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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06-19-17, 12:04 PM (EST)

91. "My My MY"

How the years slide by

Happy Birthday JBug!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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06-20-17, 12:43 PM (EST)

92. "June 16th"

LAST EDITED ON 06-20-17 AT 12:44 PM (EST)
Is hereby declared the first official Holiday in Foonerville©
It shall be forever known as "Happy Birthday JBug Day"

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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06-20-17, 03:57 PM (EST)

93. "RE: June 16th"

Now that we have an official bug, we need an official flag, an official bird, and an official tree. Also, we need to come up with the official Fooversville cocktail with which to celebrate all the other official stuff.
It ain't official unless it's been celebrated officially.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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06-20-17, 08:44 PM (EST)

94. "RE: June 16th"

I'd better find some more minions to delegate to, Dammit!

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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06-20-17, 09:55 PM (EST)

95. "RE: June 16th"

And that's official!
Let some o' the ol' patriotic folks in town pick out the bird and weave a flag.

Ragtop Ride by foonermints
You'll prolly find a retired ornithologist prof somewhere in town, lookin' for birds, an' a Betsy Ross lady too (and who knows, b'tween t' two of 'em, they might be moonlightin' it).

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jbug 17144 desperate attention whore postings
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06-21-17, 09:36 AM (EST)

96. "RE: June 16th"

and an official cake! and cookies! and ice cream!
I feel so special

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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06-21-17, 01:01 PM (EST)

97. "RE: June 16th"

Annnnd... Igor ish Floonervesville's official hunchback. Ish the righty thingy to do!
Whash? Ish not Porically Correct to name a hunshback an offishal shometing? Igor is my besh pally ever!
(It's better than official moomshine fetcher. Where's my jar?)

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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06-21-17, 10:49 PM (EST)

98. "RE: June 16th"

That's cuz you are, sweetie.

Surfkitten's Summer sigshop 2008

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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06-22-17, 02:39 AM (EST)

99. "BOINK!"

It's the correct thing to do.
Obey the LAW in Foonerville© !

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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06-22-17, 03:34 PM (EST)

100. "Official bird?"

The Flamingo, of course!

Which is also the official Body Part.
.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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06-22-17, 07:27 PM (EST)

101. "RE: Official bird?"

Well played for the swoop block!

Pepe's summer 2013 sig blast
What's that bird lookin' for down there anyway?

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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06-23-17, 12:48 PM (EST)

102. "RE: Official bird?"

I think he's (she's) lacing up his boots with his beak. He could probably use hip waders, he wouldn't have to hold his breath as long, but oh well.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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06-24-17, 12:54 PM (EST)

103. "RE: Official bird?"

What a plucky official symbol. I think we should call this the Official Plucky Symbol of Foonersville.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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06-25-17, 12:56 PM (EST)

104. "Your Mayor"

LAST EDITED ON 06-25-17 AT 12:56 PM (EST)
It torn between BUTT-BIRD and BOOBY-BIRD. What a quandry! Why do my minions bother me when I used to have so many better things to do on a Sunday?

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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06-25-17, 02:13 PM (EST)

105. "RE: Your Mayor"

Uh oh, QUANDRY ALERT! QUANDRY ALERT!
(Where are the quandary alert minions when you need them?)
Pass the jar, and let me think about that.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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06-25-17, 09:01 PM (EST)

106. "Quandry, you say?"

Do the Zen thing and unask the question. It is its own answer.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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06-26-17, 02:34 PM (EST)

107. "RE: Quandry, you say?"

OK. Unasking the question.
.....
Waiting.....
.....
That didn't work.

Minions are stupid.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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06-26-17, 08:37 PM (EST)

109. "RE: Quandry, you say?"

Minions are stupid.
Of course they are. They only take orders from and kiss the butt of the boss who buys them.
Just look at the Prez's minions.

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taffnic 5392 desperate attention whore postings
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06-26-17, 07:28 PM (EST)

108. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

LAST EDITED ON 06-26-17 AT 07:30 PM (EST)
Passing through, seems like a nice weird place.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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06-26-17, 08:50 PM (EST)

110. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

We're all passin' through someplace or other during our journeys and there's places we stick around a while, like our esteemed municipality of Foonerville.

Ragtop Ride by foonermints
Just along for the ride!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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06-27-17, 09:23 AM (EST)

111. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

You're right. It has become nicely weird. Or weirdly nice.
Probably could use some more weirdness, and less niceness, but maybe that's just me on an oddly weird day. Which is nice.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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06-27-17, 09:55 PM (EST)

112. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

There ya go ramblin' again, nice 'n' all!

Pepe's summer 2013 sig blast

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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07-02-17, 12:09 PM (EST)

115. "Taffnic"

Is now our "Traffic Coordinator"
We have a lot of traffic in Foonerville©
Most of it is illegal in 159 countries.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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06-30-17, 11:03 AM (EST)

113. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

The great wall of Foonerville, topped with concertina wire and anti-spammer personnel lawn darts.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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06-30-17, 10:37 PM (EST)

114. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

And every moment of it recorded...

Tribe's *AutoHal in RECORD mode*
Fire at will!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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07-02-17, 12:25 PM (EST)

116. "Foonerville © Sunset.."

Evening out on the deck..
Time for a Jar!

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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07-03-17, 05:34 PM (EST)

117. "RE: Foonerville © Sunset.."

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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07-03-17, 09:15 PM (EST)

118. "RE: Foonerville © Sunset.."

Sunset clouds are pretty.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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07-03-17, 09:17 PM (EST)

119. "RE: Foonerville © Sunset.."

I agree, that is a jar worthy scene.
I'd say that about just any scene, but yeah, that's worth a second jar.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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07-07-17, 06:50 PM (EST)

120. "RE: Foonerville © Sunset.."

Just keep in mind, Jeramiah was a frog of the bull variety, and he was an old acquaintance of mine. Whatever he said, I didn't understand, but I imbibed of his moonshine.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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07-07-17, 06:57 PM (EST)

121. "RE: Foonerville © Sunset.."

Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea!
Joy to you and me!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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07-08-17, 08:17 PM (EST)

122. "RE: Foonerville © In Winter.."

Lose your dreams and you'll lose your mind.. East face of Huascaran South in Peru.
1973. 22,205' Not bad.. Not bad..

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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07-09-17, 11:13 AM (EST)

123. "RE: Foonerville © In Winter.."

Hay-zus!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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07-10-17, 11:37 AM (EST)

124. "RE: Foonerville © In Winter.."

One more place for my bucket list.
Not to climb, but to see from the porch of my heated chalet, while (of course) abusing the jar.
Very daunting. So, you're saying you climbed that wall in '73?

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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07-10-17, 10:57 PM (EST)

125. "RE: Foonerville © In Winter.."

Only up the easy way. That face fell off and buried the town of Yungay, before I was there. Huascaran, like much of the Cordierra Blanca, was unstable and subject to massive earthquakes.

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07-10-17, 11:04 PM (EST)

126. "Makalu"

Was a different story. Your Mayor has been around a bit.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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07-10-17, 11:14 PM (EST)

127. "RE: Makalu"

A massive earthquake that buries a town is also on my bucket list. I've visited Pompeii, but that's old news, I need to watch it happen.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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07-11-17, 09:09 PM (EST)

128. "RE: Makalu"

Greedy in our old age, aren't we? With the salary and perks I am paying you, go on a Galapagos tour and watch Sea Turtles..
Or blue footed Boobies, although on Tower Island there are red footed Boobies. All Boobies are strange Birds..

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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07-12-17, 10:29 AM (EST)

129. "RE: Makalu"

Blue footed Boobies? I'm excited, even though I didn't know that boobies had feet.
Viva la diferencia!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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07-13-17, 02:26 AM (EST)

130. "Boobies.."

Like all Boobies, the red footed ones are the most trouble.
Now please let your mayor go back to educational TV..
Motel Hell
(1980)
Farmer Vincent and his portly sister, Ida, put lost motorists in their popular smoked meats.
Rory Calhoun, Nancy Parsons, Paul Linke, Nina Axelrod, Wolfman Jack
2:00 - 4:00 AM KDOCDT4 (56.4)
I miss Wolfman Jack..

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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07-13-17, 09:55 AM (EST)

131. "RE: Boobies.."

Those better not be Igor's feet.

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07-13-17, 05:44 PM (EST)

132. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Hard to keep up with the traffic laws here {Hic} as they change so much. Sometimes changing weekly, daily, or from one tick of clock {Hic} to the next. Oh well. I still don't know who that is speeding thru town morning, noon, and night in their shiny silver Maserati but no one has been hurt. {hic} I'll just sit here on my porch and finish{Hic} this bottle of {Hic} corn liquor someone left me. {Hic Hic} What a life.

courtesy of Cap'n2patch

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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07-13-17, 08:33 PM (EST)

133. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

LAST EDITED ON 07-14-17 AT 12:33 PM (EST)
Ish not me. I've been doin' quality checks at Ye Olde Kingfish Tavern alllllllllllll day. Beshides, the copsh took my license and now I don't drive. But I looked in the ditch where I parked it after not driving it (wink wink) and ish not there.
Not naming names, but the current theory is that Fooner the Major Mayoral Felon is endangering the city road crossing turtle mascots.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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07-14-17, 08:33 PM (EST)

134. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Ayup, th' town dep'ty caughtcha DUI.
Now, she said she'd keep ya in line!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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07-15-17, 12:04 PM (EST)

135. "Throw out the case, Judge...."

LAST EDITED ON 07-15-17 AT 10:17 PM (EST)
...DUI ain't against the law in Foonerville.
In fact, it's against the law in Foonerville to be DNUI (Driving Not Under the Influence).
Just one more reason why Foonerville is just the GREATEST EVER!!!!
Another is, of course, this superb Moonshine Chablis. A background taste of salty sea spray, a hint of snow covered mountain laurel, a whiff of Silver Maserati exaust, and the knowledge that Igor's blood and sweat (literally) went into it. No toe jam though, Igor has been warned.
Just lovely.
(And the band breaks into a lusty Sousa piece with the piccolos leading the way).

Crabman

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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07-17-17, 00:16 AM (EST)

137. "Piccolos?"

Really?!

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07-17-17, 00:15 AM (EST)

136. "FishKing Is Correct!"

Besides, you are granted a pardon from the Mayor.
I think I need to talk with you in my private office.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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07-17-17, 11:14 AM (EST)

138. "RE: FishKing Is Correct!"

I'm being called to the principle's office?

Igor did it. Igor did it.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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07-20-17, 09:30 PM (EST)

139. "Welcome to Fooner Isle"

LAST EDITED ON 07-21-17 AT 10:55 AM (EST)

Then, when the stresses of managing Foonerville becomes too much to bear, there is the retreat on Fooner Isle. For $325,000 pounds. That's English money. Easily affordable for a someone in Fooner's tax bracket.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/property/house-prices/idyllic-scottish-island-sale-just-325k-has-chilling-past/

Just like LA, you say? Well, we think so. No bugs, anyway. You need the ocean? Lots of that. You need mountains in the distance you say? Well, there are plenty of those too. Way way distant.
There is a Moonshine cellar. And a lot of water for a view. And a lighthouse. More you say, you want more?
Well, maybe you don't like neighbors playing loud rap music? You will not be bothered by that on Fooner Isle. In fact, the closest neighbors are on the mainland and would need to travel to Fooner Isle by boat (or helicopter, but these locals are way too broke to use helicopters) and since you are a sovereign nation on Fooner Isle (as soon as you secede from Scotland, a simple matter of a little paperwork and a field artillery cannon), you can blow any invading boats out of the water. It's fun for the whole family.
An afternoon's activity could consist of polishing off the keg (or hell, just bring it along) of 40 yo Scotch and practicing with the field cannon on any tax revenuers trying to tell you that seceding from Scotland is illegal. Ha. Just tell them that you have their "illegal" right here while grabbing your crotch. This is a legal argument that is derived from ancient times when King Arthur slew the dragon with his sword Ex-Cali-ber. They have to respect that. It's history dad gum it.
Did I mention the moonshine cellar? Which could also include Scotland's finest brew? I did? Well, it always bears repeating.
Finally, the pièce de résistance; a ghost. Apparently there's the ghost of a lighthouse keeper that was murdered there. No big deal really, just look at it as a built in housekeeper that requires no pay, can't die, and keeps burglars at bay (yeah, that was a pun).
.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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07-26-17, 02:06 PM (EST)

140. "RE: Welcome to Fooner Isle"

Another activity - Fishin' on the Dock of the bay? Right? haven't we always wanted to do that?
(Another stupid post designed to push scammers off the page. One more stupid step.)

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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07-27-17, 11:18 AM (EST)

141. "A Thank You from Your Mayor"

I was quite surprised! Upon returning home and found that y'all have erected a Monument to ME. Very thoughtful, that.

I am now taking a junket to visit foonerisle©

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07-27-17, 04:34 PM (EST)

142. "Now there's a..."

... natural erection!
Fooner's Park, where you're free to hike and helicopter in and around.

Ragtop Ride by foonermints
Take your lady for a hike!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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07-31-17, 02:19 PM (EST)

143. "AND"

Pee on Spammers, who are the REAL "skunks".

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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07-31-17, 03:37 PM (EST)

144. "RE: AND"

In highly coincidental timing, I saw a skunk early this morning from the upper deck of my house while I was having my wake-me-up coffee. He/she was in my yard nosing around down below and then hopped over under my neighbor's pool deck.
Skunks are kind of fun to watch, a bit playful, but don't get too close!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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07-31-17, 07:06 PM (EST)

145. "Skunks"

Actually make good pets. Deoderized of course. They are smarter than the people posting Spam, but then again, I like skunks a lot better.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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07-31-17, 07:27 PM (EST)

146. "RE: Skunks"

As an added treat, they are also rabies vectors.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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08-04-17, 01:53 PM (EST)

147. "RE: Skunks"

*Skunk Bump*

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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08-18-17, 10:57 AM (EST)

148. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

OK, fess up! Who was trying to remove the statue of me from Foonerville Square?
Not nice.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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08-22-17, 12:52 PM (EST)

149. "My Minions"

Called it "Indecent", but I really liked it!
I never did understand what the goose was looking at, though..

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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08-22-17, 02:20 PM (EST)

150. "RE: My Minions"

That goose was looking up my kilt.
Again, not nice.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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08-29-17, 11:41 AM (EST)

151. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

bump

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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09-01-17, 08:49 PM (EST)

152. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Welcome to Fooner's ville. Home of the double dip bump.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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09-24-17, 09:16 PM (EST)

153. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

I am kneeling in support of the Foonerville flag. And because Igor's latest brew has affected my ability to stand.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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10-04-17, 10:04 PM (EST)

154. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

That Figures. Igor makes a mighty strong mix! Your Mayor has been a bit dizzy himself lately. Or was that the back pain meds? Hell if I know.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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10-13-17, 01:29 PM (EST)

155. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

I'd like some clarification, is or is not Foonerville actually Crazytown? I can't find either on MapQuest.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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10-13-17, 07:39 PM (EST)

156. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

It's all on the West Coast..

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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10-27-17, 12:15 PM (EST)

157. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Trolls are killed in Foonerville©

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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10-30-17, 01:42 PM (EST)

158. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Your Mayor is working on the corral..

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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11-13-17, 12:40 PM (EST)

159. "RE: Foonerville © Announces "

A new Gas Station!

Handcrafted by RollDdice
We are all happier than the color of this, eh?

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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11-19-17, 12:32 PM (EST)

160. "Gun Control @ Foonerville©"

Y'all are welcome.

Sincerely,
Your Mayor

Handcrafted by RollDdice

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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11-29-17, 01:48 PM (EST)

161. "Remember!"

To go to Church!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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12-09-17, 12:55 PM (EST)

162. "RE: Remember!"

LAST EDITED ON 12-09-17 AT 12:56 PM (EST)
How about running naked thru the streets pulling out your hair and screaming "Oh Jesus"? Does that count? If so, I'm very religious.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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12-11-17, 11:53 AM (EST)

163. "RE: Remember!"

With all the modern technology being used these days for office workers to telecommute to work, don't you think churches would come up with a way for worshipers to telecommute to church?

Smurfy snowy holiday present by agman
Create a new account and get your password to Heaven!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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12-11-17, 12:50 PM (EST)

164. "RE: Remember!"

There are those TV preacher shows. Every day of the week, but especially on Sundays. Not much interaction unless you buy their worthless "Blessed" junk, though. But at least you can turn the sound off, and no one nudges you if you nod off.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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12-11-17, 01:24 PM (EST)

165. "I Want"

A Doughnut that looks like the Virgin.
With my Coffee, of course. Can't go around a Sinnin' without the two.

Handcrafted by RollDdice
How's about an Empañada shaped like the Baby Jesus?
Foonermints: Off to The Blazin' Down Under wi' you.
Yep, could be Austrailia.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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12-11-17, 02:45 PM (EST)

166. "You got it"

As long as you check that virgin's driver's license.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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12-21-17, 01:49 PM (EST)

167. "RE: You got it"

I will get out my Magnifying Glass!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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01-10-18, 12:39 PM (EST)

168. "Time to get out the mop"

Oh brother.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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01-11-18, 10:26 AM (EST)

169. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Your Mayor is still *Kicking*

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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01-17-18, 02:19 PM (EST)

170. "So I Missed Christmas"

Your Mayor was searching for the WoodStock Baby..

Handmade by the incredibly talented Syren
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6itWCmSZv0c ← damn commies make you cut and paste!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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01-17-18, 07:10 PM (EST)

171. "RE: So I Missed Christmas"

Is there a resemblance?
They can't sue without DNA these days.
And was there good luck up there?

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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01-18-18, 01:18 PM (EST)

173. "RE: So I Missed Christmas"

It turns out that there is a whole state populated by WoodStock Babies. It is called "The Promised Land" or "Oregon" by some such. Never been to a nuttier place.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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01-18-18, 05:03 PM (EST)

176. "Woodstock baby?"

Jimi had another name for that child...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6MX_hnVNOQQ

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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01-18-18, 08:55 PM (EST)

177. "Makes me think.."

Foonerville© also needs a doughnut franchise..

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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01-18-18, 11:20 AM (EST)

172. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Rumor has it that POTUS referred to Foonerville as a "sh*thole town" full of inhabitants who aren't rich, aren't white and don't believe in his vision of the American White Way.
Send the big white man some ExLax.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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01-18-18, 01:25 PM (EST)

174. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

It might be a Sh*thole, but, by The Good Lord, I's be the Mayor, and it looks purdy good to me!
Get that pig outta the kitchen! Stop fiddlin' with those Road Apples! Dang place is a goin' to Hell in a Handbasket!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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01-18-18, 03:32 PM (EST)

175. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

So what if it was a long time before we had better accommodations than a trench shovel hole in the woods.
And at least we don't have anyone with a shithole for a mouth.
(Well, not too sure about Igor. He did eat rabbit pellets after Fooner told him they were brown M&Ms. Hey, it was a joke. We laughed and laughed.)

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01-18-18, 09:03 PM (EST)

178. "Served Him Right"

LAST EDITED ON 01-18-18 AT 09:20 PM (EST)
Little Monster has already tunneled under the site of our future doughnut shop.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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01-19-18, 01:49 PM (EST)

179. "RE: Served Him Right"

How much would it be if we just pay him in doughnuts for tending the still?

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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01-20-18, 12:59 PM (EST)

180. "RE: Served Him Right"

There is a lot to choose from.
Perhaps pay him in Dirty Bastards?

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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01-20-18, 09:07 PM (EST)

181. "RE: Served Him Right"

Save the Mango Tangos for me. And perhaps a Vicious Hibiscus.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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01-21-18, 01:24 PM (EST)

182. "Plus Coffee"

"According to a 2013 survey by the National Coffee Association, which has terrible breath and spends most of its meetings going to the bathroom, 83 percent of American adults drink coffee, averaging three cups a day. Generally speaking, the calorie counts of these coffees correspond to the stupidity of their names—if you’re uttering the words “caramel,” “supreme,” or “lotta,” you’re basically about to drink a small ham."
A favorite in Foonerville© :
"Dunkin’ Donuts: Frozen Caramel Coffee Coolatta (32 oz.)
Calories: 990
Here we have a breakfast milkshake. The thing seems to weigh several pounds and is neither the color nor consistency of something that would make you think, “I should put that in my mouth.” It looks like the fluid that comes out of your carpet cleaner. I do have to admit enjoying the taste, though. I mean, it’s hard to hate a chocolate shake.
Does this count as coffee? Hardly. Even starting it with the letter “C” is kind of a dick move."
Tribemints© by Tribey

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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01-21-18, 08:57 PM (EST)

183. "RE: Plus Coffee"

Those guys in 2013 were behind the times. Now the trend is to blend coffee with whipping cream, butter, and pork lard.

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01-22-18, 12:53 PM (EST)

184. "Good"

For greasing truck axles, too.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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01-22-18, 02:54 PM (EST)

185. "RE: Good"

Not to mention tank treads, by the look of it!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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01-22-18, 03:05 PM (EST)

186. "Soon With"

Cannabinol oil and THC!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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01-23-18, 02:10 PM (EST)

187. "RE: Soon With"

I have an axle I'd like to grease!
(Again, don't aske me what that means, I don't know. But it does make me sound cool, right?)

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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01-23-18, 02:57 PM (EST)

188. "RE: Soon With"

Try that line in a biker bar and you'll end up with some broken handlebars.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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01-23-18, 07:37 PM (EST)

189. "RE: Soon With"

So, you know what it means?

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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01-23-18, 11:15 PM (EST)

190. "Go Over To"

The Foonerville© Pump and Polish and have them fill you in.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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01-24-18, 12:33 PM (EST)

191. "RE: Go Over To"

Hey, you know how to sound cool too.
(There's a girl from Bend tearing it up on Jeopardy).

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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01-25-18, 04:55 PM (EST)

192. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Your Mayor is at the foonerclinic for a shot today.

CTgirl Chupacabra!

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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01-25-18, 05:49 PM (EST)

193. "Shot?"

Kind of looks like an alien itself, doesn't it?

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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01-25-18, 09:30 PM (EST)

194. "RE: Shot?"

Nasty little bugger!
Me? A cortisone shot to the base of my spine. Love that propofol!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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01-26-18, 04:18 PM (EST)

195. "RE: Shot?"

Ouch!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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01-26-18, 09:30 PM (EST)

196. "RE: Shot?"

I was only passed out for three minutes, with a back full of holes. Almost a good Western!

William Johnstone, where are you?

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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01-26-18, 09:52 PM (EST)

197. "RE: Shot?"

I think I heard you screaming from here. Or maybe it was just me after reading about it?

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jbug 17144 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-18, 00:32 AM (EST)

198. "me?"

got the cortisone shot in the joint between my big toe and the ball of my foot.
for pain free foot!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-18, 10:14 AM (EST)

199. "Isn't it Good?"

So far, my back appears to be 100% better! Cortisone works!

moonbaby
_{Don't flash those ankles at just anyone..}

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jbug 17144 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-18, 10:18 AM (EST)

200. "SWOOP BLOCK"

Yep! Blocks the pain just like this post!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-18, 11:42 AM (EST)

201. "Are You Sayin'"

Kingfish's Post causes pain?
maybe..

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-18, 03:02 PM (EST)

202. "RE: Are You Sayin'"

In a while Kingfish will be feelin' no pain.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-18, 07:56 PM (EST)

203. "AhA!"

Similarly, your Mayor will try not to explode (well, completly explode, so-to-speak).

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-18, 10:57 PM (EST)

205. "Not as scary..."

as that H3N2 monster, but cortisone looks pretty cool.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-18, 11:01 PM (EST)

206. "RE: Not as scary..."

jBug and I are molecule appreciators.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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01-28-18, 00:53 AM (EST)

207. "Then you'll appreciate this molecule..."

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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01-28-18, 11:59 AM (EST)

208. "RE: Then you'll appreciate this molecule..."

I use that molecule!
Go Away, Stinky Ben-Gay!

Moves by CrabMan
This stuff works!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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01-28-18, 02:31 PM (EST)

209. "RE: Then you'll appreciate this molecule..."

Hey man, you ought'a try this new stuff from Afranhanastran, one molecule will have you hearing God and seeing the Devil. It is sort'a confusing.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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01-30-18, 00:07 AM (EST)

211. "From the poppy fields..."

The British and Chinese went to war over this stuff.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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01-31-18, 11:50 AM (EST)

213. "RE: From the poppy fields..."

Opium OTOH, works!
Alleviated a lot of pain so folks don't have to suffer.
No one suffers in Foonerville©
Moonbaby
.. mostly because of Kingfish's Moonshine Still out in them thar hills behind town...

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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01-31-18, 12:52 PM (EST)

215. "RE: From the poppy fields..."

Any and all episodes of staggering blindness or dropping down dead caused by drinking said moonshine was Igor's fault. He didn't mash the mash right. (Just for the record, in case it ever comes up in court).

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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01-31-18, 04:55 PM (EST)

216. "RE: From the poppy fields..."

Sounds like he didn't know the difference between ethanol and methanol.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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01-31-18, 11:37 AM (EST)

212. "RE: Then you'll appreciate this molecule..."

Oh Hell, was't that just LSD? ← Click it! You know you want to!

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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01-31-18, 12:16 PM (EST)

214. "The transcendence molecule"

Commonly found in past Grateful Dead concerts.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-18, 10:52 PM (EST)

204. "Citizens of Foonerville ©"

Remember how much your Mayor loves "Dunkin' Doughnuts"!

"On Thursday, Hallandale Beach Mayor Joy Cooper vowed to “vigorously fight” corruption accusations, including the claim that she was on the receiving end of a Dunkin’ Donuts bag..
filled with $8,000 in soon-to-be-laundered cash."

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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01-28-18, 02:37 PM (EST)

210. "RE: Citizens of Foonerville ©"

Our proud Town Motto is "El Richos gettum Richero, El Pobercitos gettum Nada" which translates to "In lieu of taxes, we accept graft". (But we deny saying that).
(Bitchs be guilty!)

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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02-01-18, 02:31 PM (EST)

217. "RE: Citizens of Foonerville ©"

*kick*

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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02-01-18, 02:46 PM (EST)

218. "RE: Citizens of Foonerville ©"

As often as you kick, we'd think that you're a stubborn old plowshare horse stuck in the stall.
Need some horseshoes to go with those kicks?

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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02-04-18, 02:27 AM (EST)

219. "Fellow Citizens of Foonerville©"

Although it appears that Los Angeles has had a Skyslide for a few years, we are not to be outdone!
I would like all interested foonerville© daredevil loyal cohorts to our latest attraction, which is free and just as scary.. ..or more so..

Handcrafted by RollDdice

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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02-04-18, 11:51 AM (EST)

220. "RE: Fellow Citizens of Foonerville©"

I'll do it if someone else will clean up the brown streak I'd leave behind. And not mention they saw me crying.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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02-04-18, 01:26 PM (EST)

221. "That's They Beauty of It"

It's dark inside The FoonerTube©. No one can see you.
Unlike that dopey "Skyslide", where eveyone can see your skidmark, no one will know. PLUS we save money on cleaning!
Although someone needs to poke a stick down it once in a while to see if anyone got stuck. About every 10th ~~Nutcase~~ customer, I think.

Indecency by C2P
No really bad injuries reported, as yet. We don't count broken bones, or that person that landed on Oprah, stuck about 3/4 of the way down. He shouldn't have been let on wearing crampons. A no-brainer that SHE would get stuck anyway. Should have called the PokeyMon to clear her out, but for some reason, no one cared..

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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02-06-18, 12:34 PM (EST)

222. "RE: That's They Beauty of It"

It's the new Olympic sport, 10 meter Dumpster Diving!
Go for the style points.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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02-07-18, 11:05 AM (EST)

223. "RE: That's They Beauty of It"

"Going down the Tube"..

It fits Foonerville© just fine.

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jbug 17144 desperate attention whore postings
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02-09-18, 11:32 AM (EST)

224. "RE: That's They Beauty of It"

Don't you wish the scammers would go down a tube and get stuck?

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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02-09-18, 05:48 PM (EST)

225. "RE: That's They Beauty of It"

Flush all scammers.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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02-09-18, 10:56 PM (EST)

226. "RE: That's They Beauty of It"

Pile them up in that dumpster and haul them off to the Foonerville town dump and bury them.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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02-10-18, 08:54 AM (EST)

227. "Currently.."

Called "Page Two". *Kicks* Spammers!
Fun to visit the dump and see them all corralled up. Maybe they talk to each other, if toilet scum can talk..

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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02-11-18, 11:45 AM (EST)

228. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

We are All waiting..
For another head-banging delivery of 2x4s from our Moonshine Artist.

_{I could get fried with that load of wood.}

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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02-14-18, 00:12 AM (EST)

229. "Valentines Day @ Foonerville©."

Just Thinking.
A place off The Lost Foonerville© Coast has a suite with these.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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02-15-18, 00:37 AM (EST)

230. "RE: Valentines Day @ Foonerville©."

Perfectly positioned so that you can see yourselves in the mirror, too!
Make sure those window blinds are fully closed!

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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02-15-18, 00:47 AM (EST)

231. "Fooneranch©"

What we need in this here town is a house of disrepute, business-modeled after the Bunny Ranch of Nevada fame, the name of which establishment shall be the Fooneranch©.
The ladies will come from lands near and far, the familiar and the exotic, young, energetic and aiming to please, while earning their livelihood richly with free room and board.
Of course, the Foonerville town coffers will benefit with the 25% "goods and services" surtax charged by the municipal council.
Now all we need to do is fix up that old 12-bedroom 10,000 sq.ft. (reputedly haunted) mansion on the edge of town and put out some employment ads out on the world wide web.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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02-15-18, 06:37 PM (EST)

232. "RE: Fooneranch©"

There is this derelict on the outside of town. Perhaps Kingfish can find the correct kind of gal to manage it.
It's along The Lost Coast of Foonerville ©

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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02-15-18, 08:09 PM (EST)

233. "RE: Fooneranch©"

I volunteer. I will need a couple of 275lb ex NFL linebackers to bounce the unruly. And to help Igor. No SS, no dental, but lots of side (and frontal, and rear), benefits.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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02-19-18, 04:34 PM (EST)

234. "Well?"

Ladies are waiting.
Do I have to do everything myself? I mean, there are only 24 hours in the day, and, well, sometimes I need a little me time.

Crabman

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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02-19-18, 07:41 PM (EST)

235. "RE: Well?"

Whaddaya mean ladies are waiting?
Is business too slow? Advertise!
Come up with a catchy slogan with Fooneranch in it!
Plaster the countryside with more billboards than Wall Drug!
Post a photo op online! For example, see Today's Lineup for the Bunny Ranch.
Among others, you have your choice between a Mercedes, a Harley and a Kawasaki!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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02-21-18, 00:45 AM (EST)

236. "Jeez.."

What does the new manager do all day inside that Gingerbread Mansion? Drink Moonshine and smoke stinky 50¢ cigars?
Cahaya is right! Get off yer Duff and get some
Ins-PI-Ration. Appoint a Chef and get going with a MENU!
Lazy..LAzy.. LAZY!
Too used to sitting in a beach chair, by the Devil!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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02-21-18, 01:18 PM (EST)

237. "Lazy is..."

...as lazy does.
But, OK. Here's a menu:
Appetizer: Burbon soaked nachos served with a light apertiff by Maria (from Room 2G). Maria is wearing a pearl belly ring, and is all too happy to serve.
If you survive that (and who would want to?), then comes the cheese course: Blue balls cheese. Served with a mason jar full of plum moonshine Brandy by Betty Lou (room 4G) who says there ain't nothing Betty Lou won't do for you.
So far, no one has made it to the main course, but if they do, they will be served Weiner Snitchel stuffed with artificial chokes and a stein of Jägermeister accompanied by sides of Sauerkraut and Uberslaven (you being der slaven) by the ex-head of the Nazi Dominatrix council of Germany, Hilda (Room 5G), who will do what she will to you and make you like it as you lick it.
Then, just to make the menu complete and not because there's any chance anyone will make it this far, Desert. Rum Balls served with Rum. Simple and sweet. And with Mustang Sally (room 6G) on the slide guitar as a side dish.

Crabman

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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02-21-18, 10:56 PM (EST)

238. "Rather Lewd."

I hope there is music.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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02-23-18, 12:19 PM (EST)

239. "That's how I roll..."

...and there's a Jukebox.
1950's Country-Western. But no line dancing allowed. While I'm sober. Which doesn't happen often.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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02-23-18, 01:20 PM (EST)

240. "RE: That's how I roll..."

Your Mayor hopes the line dancing includes "the bump".
It best be boy-girl-boy-girl..

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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02-23-18, 09:08 PM (EST)

241. "RE: That's how I roll..."

LAST EDITED ON 02-23-18 AT 09:11 PM (EST)
First bump is $100. The second we throw in free for frequent fliers.
We encourage repeat customers.
(BTW, Hilda prefers Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries". She turns it up to 11. And it won't be just your ears that will be ringing.)

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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02-25-18, 02:10 PM (EST)

242. "RE: That's how I roll..."

Can't disagree with the music. What about some country?

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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02-25-18, 04:49 PM (EST)

243. "RE: That's how I roll..."

That's the good stuff.

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jbug 17144 desperate attention whore postings
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02-27-18, 08:49 PM (EST)

244. "Loving this...."

LAST EDITED ON 02-27-18 AT 08:51 PM (EST)
Can't remember how to code the link. It's the youtube of the Voice judges doing Vintage Vegas.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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02-28-18, 02:15 PM (EST)

245. "RE: Loving this...."

If I understand you correctly, just cut and paste the web address to a post.

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jbug 17144 desperate attention whore postings
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03-01-18, 09:28 PM (EST)

246. "RE: Loving this...."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-DX7BSlkhw
This?

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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03-02-18, 01:16 PM (EST)

247. "RE: Loving this...."

That works.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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03-02-18, 02:01 PM (EST)

248. "For Instant Gratification"

LAZIES!
Your mayor takes care of his constituents...

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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03-02-18, 08:20 PM (EST)

250. "RE: For Instant Gratification"

Why son, in Foonerville, that there's a compliment.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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03-02-18, 05:37 PM (EST)

249. "How to post a link"

LAST EDITED ON 03-02-18 AT 05:48 PM (EST)
This is probably in the Help forum somewhere but here goes.
This is your link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-DX7BSlkhw
You want to fix it up so that it appears as a underlined text that people can click on. Click on me!
1. First, put in a left square bracket "<" on the left and a right square bracket ">" on the right, like this. The posting software changes those square brackets to angle brackets when you preview it. So just remember to use the square brackets instead of the angle brackets, but you'll see the angle brackets here.
<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-DX7BSlkhw>
2. Then, just inside the right bracket, add a vertical bar | and the text you want to appear for your link (or it can even be a graphic, as fooner has often done).
<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-DX7BSlkhw|Click on me!>
3. Then replace the https:// with link:
<link:www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-DX7BSlkhw|Click on me!>
4. Don't forget, those angle brackets are really square brackets.
The final product:
Click on me!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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03-03-18, 11:52 AM (EST)

251. "RE: How to post a link"

Showoff.
(am bookmarking that).

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jbug 17144 desperate attention whore postings
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03-20-18, 09:48 AM (EST)

278. "RE: How to post a link"

You're pretty amazing....

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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03-06-18, 05:28 PM (EST)

252. "Question:"

1. Just how did we manage to get in this fix?
2. Just what fix are we in?

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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03-07-18, 03:54 PM (EST)

253. "RE: Question:"

This sounds like:
1. Something a puppy would ask after a visit to the vet's office for a "fix".
2. Something a heroin addict on the street would ask.
3. Something a home appliance would ask after a malfunction and visit by the repairman.
4. Something kingfish would ask for the lack of a better question.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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03-07-18, 04:58 PM (EST)

254. "Sure.."

The Batwings fell off the Saloon Doors. I attribute it to dry rot out here in the stinkin' desert. Hell's Bells!
Frank's still over at the "Gingerbread House" *wink* and at least the Town Well hasn't run dry.
*watches tumbleweed blow down main street*
Dang if I know. We lack enough sarcastic volunteers, but not Dr. Phil or ~~President~~ Oprah. The Town kicks out longwinded blowhards.
GAH!
Respectfully,
Mayor fooner.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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03-07-18, 05:07 PM (EST)

255. "RE: Question:"

Ding ding ding....#4.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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03-07-18, 07:17 PM (EST)

256. "RE: Question:"

Never admit guilt. "ding"? Don"t do it and erase that post!
Mayor fooner: helping constituents in a lost world!
just try clicking that initial link!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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03-07-18, 11:56 PM (EST)

257. "RE: Question:"

I had to answer quick before a betting pool formed. That would have been REALLY embarrassing. What if Heroin had won? Or, what if a poor doggy's meatballs rolled out the door? What if Doggy fixing was a just metaphor for something more drastic? I mean, we all spend a large part of the day sleeping on the porch thanks to Igor's grog. Who knows what a self-appointed evil snip snip would do?

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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03-08-18, 09:56 AM (EST)

258. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Well, I was still on track for the Heroin, but more concerned with that cheap imitation Chinese Space Station falling on my head..
I wonder if Sun Myung Moon is aboard?
Oh wait, he's Korean (or was). Guess he was "re-unified" with the dirt a while back. Crazy bastaard.
Anyway, look to the heavens, and Your Mayor has listed a Travel Advisory for his snail-eating voters to Avoid France! until after the threat has passed.
For you Dummkopfs: go ahead with your schnitzel snarfing in Deutschland. Probably have a thick enough head to bounce off a piece of low-grade titanium anyway.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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03-08-18, 10:32 AM (EST)

259. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Titanium umbrellas issued to all of the registered voters who vote the Fooner ticket in Foonerville. Courtesy of our mayor.
Message approved by the Fooner for mayor committee, motto; "Let's drain our glasses of swampwater", the new drink invented by..., just who did invent this, anyway? I like it.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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03-08-18, 05:50 PM (EST)

260. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Well, if that spacecraft lands on US soil, Trump will charge them an extra 25% tariff on the scrap metal.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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03-09-18, 08:39 PM (EST)

261. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Cheap Chinese steel and what may pass as "Aluminum".
I prefer a Gold Mine to Bauxite, but who knew back when I was kicking a mule (Ol' Bessie) in the 1800's.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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03-09-18, 09:00 PM (EST)

262. "Did you know that Foonerville had a creek? "

That explains what I heard while I was strolling along the creek in Foonerville the other day. I wrote a song after hearing this:
"Well gol-dang it, Bessie, You ain't a nogood for plowin', you ain't a nogood for ridin', you ain't a nogood for a findin' gold. and you dam shore ain't a nogood for toting my pickax. And all you can to is poop in my bauxite mine. What'em I a gonner do with you, you stupid mule? You ain't nothin but a ole lazy mule, and you ain't no friend o' mine!"
.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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03-09-18, 09:18 PM (EST)

263. "Bessie's Kick"

Could send you "Up the Creek", (well, maybe a yard or two - your ribs will be hurtin')
Sheeit! I run across enough road apples not to worry 'bout no worthless ore.
Love that damn mule. Probably make some good steaks after she's put out to pasture for a month or so..

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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03-10-18, 12:00 PM (EST)

264. "RE: Bessie's Kick"

Um boy, loves me some Mule steaks with fried mule ear chips.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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03-10-18, 05:29 PM (EST)

265. "Burro"

Is a nice chunk of meat. I like wild boar also.
Beef..BEEf..BEEF! Too much dang "beef" Makes me want to turn Vegan. (Not that I am advocating The 7th Day Adventists) *look of horror*
Your Mayor does NOT support Religious Sects. Unless they are TOTAL Crazies. Easier to bring in the foonerville© tank (bought surplus from Iraq) and have a Hootenanny. /evil
_{Ground out my first few molars on Mule Ear Chips when I was a boy.}

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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03-10-18, 07:15 PM (EST)

266. "Rum thirty"

And it's amazing that only in Foonerville has anyone figured out what to do with Daylight Savings Time.
It's always Rum Thirty in Foonerville, by proclamation of our mayor, a unanimous vote of the town council, and by a popular vote where no one voted against it. Or, as it also referred to, half past Rum, matey.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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03-11-18, 11:45 AM (EST)

267. "RE: Rum thirty"

I lost an hour of sleep last night due to that DST thing.
And I lost a few more hours of sleep thanks to my girl in the FoonerRanch.
All night long, baby!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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03-11-18, 05:52 PM (EST)

269. "RE: Rum thirty"

Stormy has a permanent no-cost pass to Foonerville.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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03-11-18, 12:55 PM (EST)

268. "Suburbs"

Looks like unwelcome folks have sneaked in a few city-like buildings and traffic ways near our peaceful, mildly sober Mecca.
Your Mayor will promptly have a meeting with Kim-Jong Doofus, (The Gladiator of The World, The Beloved of The Horde, and The Supreme Being) to enlist his help in Nuking It.
Idoubt the radiation will carry very far, although the South winds may leave some blisters in the Baja Cantina.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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03-12-18, 11:15 AM (EST)

270. "RE: Suburbs"

Who owns the concrete concession?

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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03-12-18, 03:21 PM (EST)

271. "RE: Suburbs"

Jimmy Hoffa? He might be still conducting his orchestra from a steel barrel around there..

Ah Jimmy! The world was a simpler place back then! Shoot 'em and lose 'em.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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03-14-18, 02:15 PM (EST)

272. "What you're looking for is..."

... a magnitude 9.5 quake with the epicenter in the midst of that highway spaghetti bowl.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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03-14-18, 06:32 PM (EST)

273. "RE: What you're looking for is..."

Whoever designed the section that didn't collapse deserves a gold star and a pay raise.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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03-15-18, 06:14 PM (EST)

274. "RE: What you're looking for is..."

LAST EDITED ON 03-15-18 AT 06:33 PM (EST)
And who ever designed this deserves an F-minus.
https://tinyurl.com/y95a3wcg
Also, Cahaya, please don't post anymore disaster pics. I mean, I'm not superstitious, but Fooner is, and well, we don't need him bringing in another witchdoctor to undo your jinx. Not that there's anything to jinxes, but still...
Oh, and the Florida International University Civil Engineering department gets an F too. It should have it's Civil Engineering credentials revoked. After the upcoming lawsuit, that very well might happen.
If you do, I'm not walking under anything.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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03-19-18, 01:14 PM (EST)

275. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Do not steal cars in Foonerville©
← click it! You know you want to!

Handcrafted by RollDdice

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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03-19-18, 03:19 PM (EST)

276. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Wow. Coincidently I have been trying to get the bugs out of my thief activated seatbelt/stun gun invention. But yours is better, and besides, those bugs have been pretty painful. I can't take very many more test runs. And my volunteers have disappeared.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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03-19-18, 09:30 PM (EST)

277. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

After reading the news today, I wouldn't trust those driverless Uber cars, either!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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03-20-18, 12:16 PM (EST)

279. "Cyborg Cars"

Are not people's friend, although I've been in a few stinky Über cars, and wouldn't mind if the driver took a bath at least once a month, or even hosed off.
BONK!
Bet they find that the car was drunk on cheap ethanol, after a terrible argument with it's girlfriend, a slutty little red corvette.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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03-20-18, 05:03 PM (EST)

280. "RE: Cyborg Cars"

It's amazing how folks in Foonerville are light years ahead of the rest of the world.
Our cyber cars are designed expressly to eliminate Jay walkers. Or walkers named Jay. Which ever comes first.
If you have a tool, use it like it should be used.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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03-23-18, 09:19 PM (EST)

281. " Foonerville ©"

LAST EDITED ON 03-24-18 AT 09:16 PM (EST)
Is now inspired to place "bait boxes" on the front porch..
← click the leetle devil!
..so misunderstood.. so misunderstood..*sigh*

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-18, 03:44 PM (EST)

282. "RE: Foonerville ©"

So what kind of fish is that bait for? Trout, bass, salmon, maybe even kingfish?

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-18, 05:21 PM (EST)

283. "RE: Foonerville ©"

Kingfish ain't no bait. We is the bait eaters. That's why we're call the King of fish.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-18, 09:51 PM (EST)

284. "Look UP ↑"

Y'all don't want THIS bait box..

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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03-25-18, 01:43 PM (EST)

285. "RE: Now Look DOWN ↓"

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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03-26-18, 10:53 AM (EST)

286. "I Reccommend:"

Dr. Fulbright.
Sorry about your deformity. Who would know online? How in Hell do you manage a keyboard? That's the true mystery!
Hey wait, is that your 3^rd Couisin, "Lucinda"? Might have dated her once, or a replica, like my ex wife.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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03-26-18, 12:50 PM (EST)

287. "RE: I Reccommend:"

That's what we're like as young pups. Awkward and gangly in our teeth growing years. Then we have a spurt and grow into our adult dentitions. We also learn to enjoy eating wader legs.

At the end though, we become more placid, and humble, as well as really ugly. And drooly.

At that point, we can make real money at kid's birthday parties. And you'd be surprised at how many women think the big nosed blob look is adorable and cuddly.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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03-26-18, 02:22 PM (EST)

288. "Again, I Recommend:"

←Click The Schnoz! You know you want to!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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03-26-18, 03:04 PM (EST)

289. "RE: Again, I Recommend:"

Yeah, thanks. But well, maybe the full body job.
Kids call this the Grumpy Old Man stage. They sit on their porches with shotguns across their laps. Even with their myopia, they can sometimes wing one or two of them dam kids.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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03-26-18, 04:22 PM (EST)

290. "10 Gauge"

LAST EDITED ON 03-26-18 AT 04:35 PM (EST)
Foonerville will henceforth "mark" all appliances before recycling
Get the lead out!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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03-26-18, 05:25 PM (EST)

291. "A Side Job"

Since your foonerville©] mayor is gratisly doing his subjects a favor (lack of a steady paycheck) , he has a side job dorking with exotics.
*sigh* only wish it involved the wimmins..
OWW!
Yep, a level IIIA vest only protects you so much.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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03-27-18, 12:38 PM (EST)

294. "RE: 10 Gauge"

Forget assault rifles, a 10 gage shotgun loaded with buck shot is the real weapon of mass destruction.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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03-28-18, 02:03 PM (EST)

295. "RE: 10 Gauge"

This would work too. In a pinch.

_{..................................................................................................catch the Stage!}

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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03-27-18, 09:15 AM (EST)

292. "RE: I Reccommend:"

No wonder nobody shows up in these forums with scary pictures like that to frighten them off!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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03-27-18, 11:49 AM (EST)

293. "Yes!"

I wonder why this "Kingfish" has a fish obsession. Hmmmm.

Ah well, it kind of makes sense, depending on the amount of brain cells I have left. I guess they all need to spark at the same time.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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03-28-18, 03:32 PM (EST)

296. "RE: Yes!"

Because us fishes are the prettiest peoples.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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03-28-18, 04:22 PM (EST)

297. "RE: Yes!"

Not to mention the lack of The King's English.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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03-29-18, 12:26 PM (EST)

298. "RE: Yes!"

These fangs were made for bitin',
and that's just what they'll do,
One of these days these fangs are gonna bite them dam kids.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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03-29-18, 01:02 PM (EST)

299. "*BOINK*"

Hell's Bells! foonerville© has disappeared from the normal person's point of view. Guess we hijacked it into something like "Jumanji", but worse.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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03-29-18, 10:42 PM (EST)

300. "Triple!"

Swoop block!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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03-31-18, 11:57 AM (EST)

301. "RE: *BOINK*"

LAST EDITED ON 03-31-18 AT 11:58 AM (EST)
No wonder. If the cops in this town think that swooping down and blocking the entrance to the Easy Go Drive Thru Moonshine Saloon is a good way to be popular, they got another think coming.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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04-01-18, 10:17 PM (EST)

302. "RE: *BOINK*"

It's all in our imagination, this town. We believe what we want to believe.
Should we lose our imagination, foonertown will disappear with it.

Agman's Muse
Welcome to the alternate reality.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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04-02-18, 08:21 PM (EST)

303. "RE: *BOINK*"

I believe I just heard someone say that Foonerville isn't real.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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04-03-18, 01:18 PM (EST)

304. "Oh, It's Real All Right"

Just that my girl left town, probably never to be seen again.
Perhaps I drove her crazy. Nah, that's not a possibility! _{err.. is it? *sob*}

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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04-04-18, 10:16 AM (EST)

305. "RE: Oh, It's Real All Right"

If Foonerville didn't exist, would I be able to offer you a "lift your spirits" discount visit with Helga? Be sure and bring your "After ten Visits you get a freebee" card and we'll also punch it twice for you.
Of course not.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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04-04-18, 02:47 PM (EST)

306. "RE: Oh, It's Real All Right"

Here's a scarier thought for you.
If it wasn't for your own imagination, you wouldn't exist either.
Cogito ergo sum.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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04-04-18, 03:22 PM (EST)

307. "RE: Oh, It's Real All Right"

OK. You just gotta shut up right now!
(I mean that in the nicest possible way considering you're trying to imagine me out of existence).

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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04-04-18, 03:56 PM (EST)

308. "RE: Oh, It's Real All Right"

As long as we get Moonshine from another dimension.
It better work, too!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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04-04-18, 05:06 PM (EST)

309. "RE: Oh, It's Real All Right"

That's the high priced stuff.
It glows.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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04-04-18, 06:30 PM (EST)

310. "RE: Oh, It's Real All Right"

Better than Helga?

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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04-04-18, 07:01 PM (EST)

311. "RE: Oh, It's Real All Right"

Helga glows a lot. Especially during Moonshine season.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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04-04-18, 08:31 PM (EST)

312. "RE: Oh, It's Real All Right"

Helga is now my brightest Star of Hope.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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04-05-18, 10:31 AM (EST)

313. "Helga!"

Is that fooner's tank in the background, there?

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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04-06-18, 11:37 PM (EST)

314. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Foonerville © on Top Again!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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04-07-18, 10:33 AM (EST)

315. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Helga is happy.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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04-08-18, 01:16 AM (EST)

316. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Helga © is on Top Again!
Which might put you on the bottom.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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04-08-18, 11:14 AM (EST)

317. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

One could only be so lucky!
Tribemints© by Tribey

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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04-08-18, 01:55 PM (EST)

318. "Another Reward From Foonerville©"

Get your name on The Sun!
Parker Solar Probe

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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04-13-18, 10:16 PM (EST)

319. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Foonerville wins! By *kicking* of course!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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04-16-18, 01:31 PM (EST)

320. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Two things,
#1. I think we should require that every national leader candidate write his/her/it's name on the sun in person. Would solve so many problems.
#2. Fooner is the mayor of kicking. Goes without saying, but I said it anyway. Keeps our sidewalks clean, even though Page 2 is a mess. But that's alright.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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04-17-18, 11:24 AM (EST)

321. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Warning: Kick! This is what fooner will do to spammers.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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04-18-18, 01:00 PM (EST)

322. "Your ~~King~~"

Mayor Totally approves of *Kicking*, including our kangaroo population.
As we all well know, there can be only one "King":

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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04-19-18, 04:29 PM (EST)

323. "RE: Your ~~King~~"

You're joking, right?

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-18, 11:06 AM (EST)

324. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

*Boots* Moron out of Foonerville ™

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-18, 04:47 PM (EST)

325. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Kingfish has made the honorable community aware of his "Chicken Wing in the Couch Cushion" problem. Therefor, in his hour of need I have authorized use of Emergency Services to him posthaste. Foonerville© takes care of it's residents!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-18, 07:53 PM (EST)

326. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

I am so in need. Of attention. Immediately.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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04-22-18, 04:47 PM (EST)

327. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Two ladies. One cleans and the other rather distracts you from the lack of cleaning by the cleaning one.
Come to think of it, there are 4 distractions..

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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04-22-18, 06:07 PM (EST)

328. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

That's why you're the mayor.
And why you'll get 100% of votes whenever someone decides that we should have an election. Which we really don't need.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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04-24-18, 00:01 AM (EST)

329. "Election?"

Foonerville has never had an election and never will. Look at how the town's offices were filled (see much higher up in this thresd).
Life-time volunteerism at work. No pay, but the perks are nice.
We maintain order, and disorder.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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04-24-18, 01:44 PM (EST)

330. "RE: Election?"

Wait! No pay?
I do like the perks though.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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04-24-18, 03:03 PM (EST)

331. "RE: Election?"

I might still have some bad scotch in the basement that I can't drink. Secret August Santa with two participants?! Well, Hell, At least it won't stress my deductive capabilities. Like Cannabis stocks in California.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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04-25-18, 00:04 AM (EST)

332. "RE: Election?"

It's time we open a dispensary in Foonertown.

Pepe's summer 2013 sig blast
I can smell the sweet smoke wafting over from the Mayor's house.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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04-25-18, 02:21 PM (EST)

333. "RE: Election?"

Ok, you're on.
PM?
You want to be Prime minister too?

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-18, 12:25 PM (EST)

334. "RE: Election?"

I think some M^cCallans would secure that.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-18, 12:29 PM (EST)

335. "A Test.."

Should we really allow this guy to slap his puss on his business in Foonervile©
You decide..

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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05-02-18, 00:13 AM (EST)

340. "RE: A Test.."

Well, he does seem to be a rather bright fellow.
Or, then again, shocking.

Ghandi by smokeysmom
Or enlightened?

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-02-18, 00:46 AM (EST)

341. "RE: A Test.."

It's the giant choppers that look like bathroom tiles, like he bit a 440 line and his dead rictus was frozen in a smile.
Reminds me of Jack Nicholson playing The Joker.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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05-06-18, 02:01 PM (EST)

342. "RE: A Test.."

Worse. He looks like an FBI agent. Run.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-07-18, 11:27 AM (EST)

343. "RE: A Test.."

Good thinking! He gets the boot!
Better yet, let's see if he short circuits in Foonerlake™

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-18, 12:02 PM (EST)

336. "The Outskirts.."

Foonerville© will entertain The Medicine Show this Spring.. Girls!
Out on the Prairie. East side of town.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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04-29-18, 11:56 AM (EST)

337. "RE: The Outskirts.."

It looks like the FoonerRanch girls are appearing!
Dance, baby, dance!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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04-29-18, 01:50 PM (EST)

338. "RE: The Outskirts.."

I like Big Mama..

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-18, 01:02 PM (EST)

339. "RE: The Outskirts.."

Big Mama looks like she knows stuff.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-07-18, 11:56 AM (EST)

344. "Your Mayor"

Was deeply engrossed watching a security film in case Foonerville© was ever invaded.. heartbreaking, but someone had to watch it.
Tribemints© by Tribey

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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05-07-18, 01:02 PM (EST)

345. "RE: Your Mayor"

No nudity?

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-07-18, 08:54 PM (EST)

346. "RE: Your Mayor"

LAST EDITED ON 05-07-18 AT 08:59 PM (EST)
Your polite Mayor does not discuss such subjects as a naked Godzilla online, let alone a mechanical one.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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05-07-18, 09:36 PM (EST)

347. "RE: Your Mayor"

LAST EDITED ON 05-08-18 AT 10:16 AM (EST)
Just asking because Igor wanted to know. He the pervert, not us.
Nude mechanical apes are ok with him, though.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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05-10-18, 00:06 AM (EST)

348. "Godzilla in a tutu"

He always was good at dancing around those Tokyo trains.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-10-18, 09:31 PM (EST)

349. "In the Future.."

Foonerville© will allow this for our more crazy residents. Personally, your Mayor has no problems..

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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05-10-18, 10:00 PM (EST)

350. "RE: In the Future.."

Sure thing, Mayor.
I like bare wrestling with the ladies in the FoonerRanch.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-10-18, 10:53 PM (EST)

351. "RE: In the Future.."

Feisty, aren't they?

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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05-11-18, 06:58 PM (EST)

352. "Bare dare"

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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05-12-18, 11:46 AM (EST)

353. "RE: Bare dare"

Hey! Her fanny's showing!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-12-18, 12:23 PM (EST)

354. "Bare Fanny!"

It sure is!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-12-18, 03:09 PM (EST)

355. "Butt.."

It's blurry. Still PG 13. maybe
Better than do-it-yourself electrical wiring!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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05-14-18, 05:37 PM (EST)

356. "RE: Butt.."

Rock me Mama like a wagon wheel...

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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05-14-18, 07:29 PM (EST)

357. "Roll 'em..."

Roll 'em, roll 'em, roll 'em

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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05-14-18, 10:01 PM (EST)

358. "Bare Fanny!"

It sure is!
A 1917 painting by Amedeo Modigliani
All $157 million dollars worth of bare fanny!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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05-16-18, 05:49 PM (EST)

359. "RE: Bare Fanny!"

Attention all scammers, this thread is just for Fanny fetishes. If you don't have fanny fetish, please leave at once. By the back door! (<Pun).

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-16-18, 07:24 PM (EST)

360. "RE: Bare Fanny!"

_*moan*

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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05-17-18, 06:50 PM (EST)

361. "RE: Bare Fanny!"

That pun was barely funny!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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05-17-18, 07:38 PM (EST)

362. "RE: Bare Fanny!"

It's never a good thing when you have to point out a pun.
But it's worse when no one gets it.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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05-18-18, 02:21 PM (EST)

363. "RE: Bare Fanny!"

It's even worse when everyone gets it.
10-4 back door!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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05-18-18, 03:45 PM (EST)

364. "Butt it's fanny!"

I'm gonna just come out and say it.
Amedeo Modigliani was a hack. He drew nice butts, but he couldn't paint a face to save his life.
The person/museum/whatever that paid $157M for that amateurish attempt have a lot of money to waste. I've seen drawings on refrigerator doors that were better.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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05-18-18, 06:43 PM (EST)

365. "In the Anals of puns: "

LAST EDITED ON 05-18-18 AT 06:46 PM (EST)
This one stands out - Hoof Hearted?
Not a pun? Don't blame be, blame Hoof Hearted.
(A six year old gave that one to me. If you want to be the fun uncle/aunt, always remember that fart jokes always break kids up. Mommies not so much).

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-24-18, 01:48 AM (EST)

366. "Your Mayor "

Is now dealing with Dead People.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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05-24-18, 02:47 PM (EST)

367. "RE: Your Mayor "

Nice clean saw cut skulls, Dr. Lector.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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05-24-18, 08:36 PM (EST)

368. "Our mayor is... "

... bad to the bone.
B-B-B-Bad!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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05-26-18, 04:42 PM (EST)

369. "RE: Our mayor is... "

LAST EDITED ON 05-27-18 AT 01:36 PM (EST)
My thought for Memorial day:
It's not a sign of respect if you are forced to do it.
My respects to those brave men. And women.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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05-29-18, 00:26 AM (EST)

370. "And dear not nice POTUS gets it wrong (again)"

Happy Memorial Day! Those who died for our great country would be very happy and proud at how well our country is doing today. Best economy in decades, lowest unemployment numbers for Blacks and Hispanics EVER (& women in 18years), rebuilding our Military and so much more. Nice!
Do you think those Marines in Iwo Jima gave a damn about the economy or ethnic group employment figures?
Oorah!

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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05-29-18, 00:36 AM (EST)

371. "Oh, and... 25% off!"

The Trump shop has a Memorial Day sale.
Use Code: FORGET

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-29-18, 10:16 AM (EST)

372. "RE: And dear not nice POTUS gets it wrong (again)"

But I personally thank them for getting rid of Tojo and Adolph.
Come to think of it, ol' Tojo kind of had a little Hitler thing going on..

Handcrafted by RollDdice

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moonbaby 17120 desperate attention whore postings
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05-29-18, 07:19 PM (EST)

373. "This just in! "

LAST EDITED ON 05-29-18 AT 07:28 PM (EST)
How in the hell do they not recognize a chupacabra?
https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/mysterious-furry-creature-shot-in-montana-and-even-wildlife-experts-are-puzzled-by-the-beast/
if the link doesn't work you'll just have to find it. I KNOW fooner you will let them know this important fact. That's why I'm here!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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05-30-18, 05:40 PM (EST)

374. "RE: This just in! "

Fooner knows his chupacabras. But you have to ask him when he's sober.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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06-01-18, 08:18 PM (EST)

376. "RE: This just in! "

....Never going to happen....

CTgirl Chupacabra!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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06-04-18, 10:41 AM (EST)

378. "RE: This just in! "

*sob*
Looks like my little sister! Savages.

CTgirl Chupacabra!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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06-01-18, 11:22 AM (EST)

375. "Free Donut Day!"

LAST EDITED ON 06-01-18 AT 02:23 PM (EST)
June 1st! Free Donut Day across the FoonerNation!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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06-02-18, 01:19 PM (EST)

377. "DOH!"

.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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06-07-18, 01:50 PM (EST)

379. "It's National _________ Day!"

Moonshine!

Ragtop Ride by foonermints

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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06-08-18, 11:34 AM (EST)

380. "RE: It's National _________ Day!"

Igor never sleeps.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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06-13-18, 11:54 AM (EST)

381. "Watch out, Fooner!"

There's a ballot initiative to divide California into 3 separate states!
What will they call the new states? Something unimaginative like California del Norte, California Costera and Sureste de California? Will Donald Trump insist the new state names be in ENGLISH?
And where will Foonerville end up on this map?

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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06-13-18, 03:44 PM (EST)

382. "Foonerville ©"

Is in Oregon.
Unfortunately, your mayor's rich girlfriend dumped him. Fooner is now residing in the Red Zone, along with 13.5 million other Rummies, drinking his troubles away. *sob*

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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06-13-18, 04:06 PM (EST)

383. "RE: Foonerville ©"

D'ya think we could take over one of those islands to the west of your position?

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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06-13-18, 06:57 PM (EST)

384. "Catalina!"

It already has a Casino. BUT, foonerville© needs to restore the gambling and drinking! Plus wimmins..
Ballroom dancing? Where's the nudity and bubbles from the ceiling?

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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06-14-18, 06:10 PM (EST)

385. "Foonerville"

LAST EDITED ON 06-14-18 AT 06:11 PM (EST)
Loves Agman!

Snowglobe by Agman!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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07-23-18, 01:35 PM (EST)

386. "Looking Out"

Over the boardwalk, decided to put my sewing machine out in the fresh air.

Tribe!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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08-07-18, 05:50 PM (EST)

387. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

No reason why Foonerville ™ shouldn't be considered first.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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08-08-18, 11:53 AM (EST)

388. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

That is, if the spreading California fires don't raze Foonerville!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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08-08-18, 05:34 PM (EST)

389. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

I am still waiting for them to die out so I can go hiking in the Sierras. Don't want your mayor toasted, do you?

Well, best not answer that. What? I look like a Quizno's sandwich?

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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08-10-18, 09:15 AM (EST)

390. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

LAST EDITED ON 08-10-18 AT 09:15 AM (EST)
I thought being toasted is a requirement of Foonerville residents. Like saluting the flag.
Plus, Igor needs a job.
Plus plus, how would we ever get anyone to visit the Kingfish Bar and Grill and Boom Boom House if they aren't toasted?

You see, it's the circle of life.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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10-22-18, 04:37 PM (EST)

391. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Foonerville has a new favorite song. Well at least for the next thirty seconds..
>
Handcrafted by RollDdice

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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10-22-18, 08:57 PM (EST)

392. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Really nice. But I'm only hiring one of them to play at the Saloon.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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10-23-18, 11:38 AM (EST)

393. "CHEAP!"

But practical. I'll have to stop by and hope you got the guy that plays his hand like a kazoo.

Bounced by Icey!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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10-23-18, 04:22 PM (EST)

394. "RE: CHEAP!"

You bet cheap! He will also double up as bouncer. All four of them.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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10-31-18, 00:53 AM (EST)

395. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

I am looking for this girl tomorrow night.
I hope she tricks or treats by the Mayor's hovel in Foonerville

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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10-31-18, 12:05 PM (EST)

396. "We would hire her..."

...for the Comfort wing of the Kingfish Bar and Grill, if she'll promise not to eat anyone's face off.
(Or is that Helga underneath that? Hard to tell unless she shows her gold fangs.)

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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01-13-19, 03:22 PM (EST)

397. "Be Nice!"

LAST EDITED ON 01-13-19 AT 11:24 PM (EST)
To KingFish Day...
After all, he wasn't the one that mispronounced something off the teleprompter whilst giving the weather in New Yak City.
Plus: Word-On-The-Street has it that the entire Empire of Bolsheviks is after him, and not only the wimmens.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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01-15-19, 11:34 AM (EST)

398. "RE: Be Nice!"

That woman has a nice Roe Hole.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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01-15-19, 05:42 PM (EST)

399. "BOINK!"

..think about it..

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ARnutz 13934 desperate attention whore postings
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01-15-19, 10:57 PM (EST)

400. "sw00p"

I *lurk* in lurkerdom waiting to SWOOP!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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01-16-19, 09:37 AM (EST)

401. "RE: sw00p"

Gah!

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jbug 17144 desperate attention whore postings
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01-18-19, 11:49 PM (EST)

402. "RE: sw00p"

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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01-21-19, 09:29 PM (EST)

403. "RE: sw00p"

The Countess has a penchant for counting!
Only American roulette wheels come with the 00 pocket.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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01-23-19, 02:00 PM (EST)

404. "Get Away!"

Foonerville now has a vehicle to visit Kingfish, who sometimes lives offshore.
All we need is someone to play Captain Bligh, and of course - a few Tahitian girls who aren't shy..

Handcrafted by RollDdice

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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01-24-19, 03:23 PM (EST)

405. "RE: Get Away!"

LAST EDITED ON 01-24-19 AT 06:47 PM (EST)
Yo ho ho! And a bottle (or two) of rum.
Should be no problem navigating the Panama Canal to get here. Or west to east thru the Magellan straits. They serve Kentucky Fried Penguin down there.
BTW, very cool.
(Chk messages).

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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01-26-19, 11:17 AM (EST)

407. "Cripey!"

IT must have fallen off the Whiskey Wagon, and hit my porch! *shockey-face*

Thank you, Kingfish!
_{something might be coming back atcha}

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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01-26-19, 09:18 PM (EST)

409. "RE: Cripey!"

Be careful, mixing typing and whiskey seldom turns out well.
However, you're welcome. Appreciate your hosting the SS.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-19, 03:43 AM (EST)

411. "Or Operating Machinery"

I swear that the first time I stab my finger with a sewing needle I'm giving up - Permanently!
Just finished a job on another boat..

Quite a bit different than outfitting SpecOps. Everyone's butt must need a place..

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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01-25-19, 04:32 PM (EST)

406. "RE: Get Away!"

Ahoy, there!
Let's see what else you've got stashed in your hold!

Piracy on the high seas and flying of the Jolly Roger by agman

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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01-26-19, 09:13 PM (EST)

408. "RE: Get Away!"

Ck your messages.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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01-26-19, 09:30 PM (EST)

410. "RE: Get Away!"

Got it, thanks.

Smurfy snowy holiday present by agman
Never mind me, I'm just upping my post count towards that 20K milestone!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-19, 03:55 AM (EST)

412. "Post Count?"

Try bumping spammers into oblivion.
Actually, don't! It's rather unrewarding, and those idiots are still over in Hells Kitchen.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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01-28-19, 09:12 PM (EST)

413. "RE: Post Count?"

What size boot do you wear? I could use a pointy-toed pair of durable boots to kick with.

Caged by Snidget
Hell's Kitchen, you say? Stick 'em in the microwave!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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02-05-19, 02:20 PM (EST)

414. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville/State of the Foonermen (and Gal)"

I doubt I can top Trump, but really, who would want to?
As your loyal Mayor, I shall attempt to post the true conditions of foonerville, much to the delight of anyone not promoting ANY sports teams in Los Angeles,
.. or if you simply have "cabin fever" and feel like opening the door on your hovel in Saskatchewan and getting eaten by a bear - or a moose - or something.

Handcrafted by RollDdice

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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02-05-19, 03:28 PM (EST)

415. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville/State of the Foonermen (and Gal)"

The Saints was robbed.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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02-05-19, 05:43 PM (EST)

416. "Beer Bottle Flinging"

"BBF" is prohibited in foonerville©.
Ah, the Good Old Days..

Well, dont get caught!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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02-05-19, 10:41 PM (EST)

417. "RE: Beer Bottle Flinging"

So, they were actually selling beer in bottles at the game? What could they have been thinking?

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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02-05-19, 11:54 PM (EST)

418. "Pee Bottle."

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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02-09-19, 01:20 AM (EST)

419. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville/State of the Foonermen (and Gal)"

LAST EDITED ON 02-15-19 AT 10:24 AM (EST)
The only ones who have topped Trump are the ladies he paid off not to talk about it.

Passengers on fooner's crazytrain
No way they'd want be on the bottom!

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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02-15-19, 10:27 AM (EST)

420. "It's time to declare an emergency!"

We need to build a wall around Foonerville to keep out undesirable aliens!
It's not in the town budget, but I'm sure Fooner can reallocate funds earmarked for something else.

Pepe's summer 2013 sig blast
Never mind that the Martians can simply fly over the wall and land their spacecraft in Foonerville Town Square!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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02-16-19, 04:40 PM (EST)

421. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

LAST EDITED ON 02-16-19 AT 07:12 PM (EST)
I got restless today, tired of swimming in circles and looking after the fry, so I decided to throw my hook on the shore to see if a human would bite. Nothing like fried leg of human, with a little parmesan and a light flour dusting.
Caught a Canuck. Threw it back. Prefrozen. Too mushy.

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jbug 17144 desperate attention whore postings
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02-17-19, 11:18 PM (EST)

422. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

I gave up on fishing

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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02-18-19, 00:12 AM (EST)

423. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

LAST EDITED ON 02-18-19 AT 12:45 PM (EST)
(We call it humaning)

You seem like a nice human. Why not take a bite of this delicious Chili Cheese Hot Dog? I promise, there are no hooks inside. Here, I'll jiggle it a little so that it looks even better.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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02-18-19, 05:08 PM (EST)

424. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

You never struck me as being the hooker type.

Passengers on fooner's crazytrain

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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02-19-19, 12:40 PM (EST)

425. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

How about that nice Hoagie lying there on the shore? Doesn't it look like something delicious that you could just take the biggest bite out of? Don't pay any attention to that monofilament line, it doesn’t have anything to do with anything. Or those sinkers. Or that cork.
Believe me, no one is going to yank a hook into the fleshy parts of your mouth and drag you flipping and flopping into this here ocean, soon to be dismembered into meal sized portions. That’s just crazy talk.
(come on take it, daddy needs him some fried person fingers).

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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02-19-19, 12:51 PM (EST)

426. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Thank goodness you didn't put "weenie" in that one *shudder*
How do you keep the bread crumbs on, even after frying?

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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02-19-19, 07:28 PM (EST)

427. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Beans and weenies? I don't have a PC response to that. No comment.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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02-20-19, 10:10 PM (EST)

428. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

There's something to be said for being at the top of the food chain.

Foo dogs by tribe
As long as you avoid the lions.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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02-26-19, 01:18 PM (EST)

429. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

What has happened down here is the wind have changed
Clouds roll in from the north and it started to rain
Rained real hard and rained for a real long time
Six feet of water in the streets of Evangeline
The river rose all day
The river rose all night
Some people got lost in the flood
Some people got away alright
The river have busted through clear down to Plaquemines
Six feet of water in the streets of Foonerville
Buzzard Island Basher Barry
Danger zone below when windy

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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03-01-19, 06:02 PM (EST)

430. "Rollin'!"

Rolln' on the river!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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03-02-19, 10:43 PM (EST)

431. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

LAST EDITED ON 03-04-19 AT 07:26 PM (EST)
Say, what's that ad at the top of foonerville? "Sex Stops Wrecks"?! That is sooo untrue for SO many reasons....

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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03-23-19, 03:30 PM (EST)

432. "RE:Rough Times!"

Since the Meteor Strike, your Mayor has decided to live in an Ice Cave.
Scandinavian girls can come to the front entrance. I have furs!

So cold.. so cold! On the other hand I have Ice Cream!

Tribemints© by Tribey

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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03-23-19, 07:51 PM (EST)

433. "RE:Rough Times!"

About that meteor strike... Sorry, that was me. Fell asleep in the silo and head hit the button.
Sorry. And sorry to anyone who was awakened at 3:00 am. Or killed.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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04-15-19, 00:50 AM (EST)

434. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

When completing your tax forms, don't forget to the Foonerville tithe.
Moonshine doesn't grow on trees.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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04-15-19, 04:35 PM (EST)

435. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Looking at my paycheck, here's what's already being taken out:
Fed Withholdng
Fed MED/EE
Fed OASDIEE
State Withholdng
County Withholdng
Will you take an IOU?

Pepe's summer 2013 sig blast
Tithe? Since when was Foonerville a religious organization? Just because we all pray Fooner is a good mayor doesn't make it so.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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04-15-19, 05:47 PM (EST)

436. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

LAST EDITED ON 04-15-19 AT 10:33 PM (EST)
No sir. Can't dodge taxes with semantics. A secular tithe is a tenth, and that's a tenth of your gross. Plus, since we just caught you attempting to get out of your fiscal obligations, now you owe two tithes.
Wanna go for three?
Besides, you can just omit the MED tax and buy a box of band aids instead. Boom.
And if you are paying county and state withholding, you should move to Florida where we set up a Foonerville OTB franchise. Boom Boom!
These helpful tips are provided to all Foonerville citizens free of charge. Costs for this service are paid out of the general fund. Which is where your taxes go. So, if you don't pay them, we have to revoke our friendly advice.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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04-16-19, 11:49 AM (EST)

437. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Can I deduct my tithes paid to the ladies at the FoonerRanch™?

Pepe's summer 2013 sig blast

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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04-16-19, 08:49 PM (EST)

438. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

That's how I do it.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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04-17-19, 09:18 AM (EST)

439. "That's the Beauty of it..."

Your Mayor either gets it up front or behind. It's good either way....

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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04-18-19, 02:22 PM (EST)

440. "RE: That's the Beauty of it..."

Welcome to Spoonerville!

Passengers on fooner's crazytrain

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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04-19-19, 10:22 AM (EST)

441. "RE: That's the Beauty of it..."

Also referred to as Croonerville when Fooner drops a dime into E5 on the juke box and plays Bing Crosby's Christmas songs.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-02-19, 09:25 AM (EST)

442. "Not Impressed"

The gift of a new truck to foonerville©.
I think it can carry a crew of midget construction workers, meaning ONE. Oh! Plus an 1/8 of a sheet of plywood for the really big jobs.
*sigh* In this case the thought didn't even count..

IceBounce!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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05-02-19, 10:54 PM (EST)

443. "RE: Not Impressed"

Will a Large Pizza fit? 'cause, you know, we could use it for that.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-02-19, 11:30 PM (EST)

444. "That Would Work"

Best if it's a rectangular one, obviously, to maximize the cargo space. Cauliflower crust..4 cheese..hmm let me think..
No anchovies.. No no no!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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05-03-19, 12:46 PM (EST)

445. "RE: That Would Work"

Cauliflower crusts? (Californians, can't live with them...can't live without them).

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-04-19, 09:28 AM (EST)

446. "RE: That Would Work"

*forgets rude interruption* (temporarily)
...and DUCK, a nasty, oily bird that adds that certain panache to the cheese blend of Asiago, Pecorino Romano, Chevre and Zamorano.
Humming bird tongues are too gauche and SO yesterday.
For fresh-sliced tomato I'll take Maori Warrior and Indigo Rose, with Atomic Fusion around the edge in a delightful, decorative fashion.
I need the dark meat duck arranged in a peace sign, or at the very least a happy face.
This being Californa and legal, perhaps a light dusting of "Purple Monkey Balls" or "Zombie Killer", although "Barack O Bubba" could also work depending on the mood.

WTH you have against Gluten-Free? Sheesh! ~~damn hillbillies~~
←Clink the Smiley! You know you want to! ~~freakin' savages~~...

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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05-04-19, 10:01 AM (EST)

447. "RE: That Would Work"

...and shrooms! gotta have the shrooms. Fresh picked from the cow pasture.
(Hold the monkey balls though. Had them for lunch, and they backed up on me)

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-04-19, 03:53 PM (EST)

448. "RE: That Would Work"

So - hold the Monkey Balls and add the Psilocybin?

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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05-08-19, 00:21 AM (EST)

449. "RE: Not Impressed"

OK, so here's a portrait to hang on the wall.

Bogywoman! Don't dare look under the bed OR SHE'LL GET YOU!!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-08-19, 11:07 AM (EST)

450. "Hep Me"

Jesus!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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05-08-19, 01:19 PM (EST)

451. "RE: Hep Me"

No kidding.
This woman wrote children's books. If she included her picture on the cover of those books, heaven help those poor kiddies.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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05-09-19, 05:22 PM (EST)

452. "RE: Not Impressed"

During our trip to Italy and Greece in March, we saw a lot of very tiny cars, particularly in the older section of Rome and Bari and in small towns. Parking spaces and some alleys are so small you need a tiny car!
Ever see a car as small as the one in the middle here? I've seen kids' cars bigger than this!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-09-19, 06:55 PM (EST)

453. "Really Fascinating!"

When is a car really a motorcycle? And who would fit in @ 6"3"?
Guess I'm walking, or taking a Rickshaw.

Got to get the girls around somehow.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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05-10-19, 10:23 AM (EST)

454. "Fooner: Age 6"

From the Fooner family album...

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-10-19, 01:33 PM (EST)

455. "RE: Fooner: Age 6"

Yep, same haircut!
The wonders of Jumping Bird

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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05-10-19, 10:36 PM (EST)

456. "RE: Fooner: Age 6"

Same evil grin.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-11-19, 10:42 AM (EST)

457. "That's Because"

Of the bigger err.. Barrel. DUH!

The wonders of Jumping Bird
Cute kid's got potential!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-11-19, 06:51 PM (EST)

458. "Back @ The Ranch"

Planting time @ The foonerfarm©
"Brandywine Pink" "Black Krim" "Supersteak" "Big Rainbow" "Yellow Pear"

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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05-11-19, 08:47 PM (EST)

459. "RE: Back @ The Ranch"

Thinking you'll plow those fields with that tank?

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-11-19, 10:49 PM (EST)

460. "RE: Back @ The Ranch"

Better than that pizza delivery truck.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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05-12-19, 09:33 AM (EST)

461. "RE: Back @ The Ranch"

A pizza delivery boy's work is never over, dawn to dusk, and back to sawn again, in a teeny tiny truck or a pedal operated tank, he never stops.
Whereas the lay about farmer just plays in the dirt with horsies and cowsies.
Give it up for the pizza delivery boy. And let's hope he does something about that acne.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-12-19, 10:03 AM (EST)

462. ""and back to sawn again"?"

Goddam Pizza Yo-Yo musta been edumacated by Los Angeles Unified Skools. Better to be raised by wolves. Smell better too.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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05-12-19, 07:17 PM (EST)

463. "RE: "and back to sawn again"?"

I don't know why, but I have the urge for a deep dish pizza with everything.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-13-19, 01:05 AM (EST)

464. "Better Have a Cauliflower Crust"

LAST EDITED ON 05-13-19 AT 10:46 AM (EST)
Gluten Free!
eta:
Come to think of it, that pizza sounds sounds a lot better than this:

This one? not so bad, (with enough sour cream and green Tabasco) - but what idiot came up with the name?

Time to get your money's worth out of the "Power Bowl" _{gotta go!}

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-13-19, 06:41 PM (EST)

465. "RE: Back @ The Ranch.. Again"

Might have to get me a seed pack of these fancy-fangled pumpkins..
← Don't click on Little Lucy! You'll feel inferior!

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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05-15-19, 04:30 PM (EST)

468. "Jolly"

It looks like those came from this guy...
Ho, ho, ho!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-16-19, 11:05 PM (EST)

469. "You Win"

The Match Game!
Ho Ho Ho Indeed - maybe even a few extra Hoes..

Never heard it called a pumpkin before.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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05-13-19, 08:30 PM (EST)

466. "RE: Back @ The Ranch"

"Brandywine Pink" "Black Krim" "Supersteak" "Big Rainbow" "Yellow Pear"
Whut?
These aren't of the Acapulco Gold, Blue Dream, and Purple Kush varieties?

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-13-19, 09:01 PM (EST)

467. "RE: Back @ The Ranch"

Those are interspersed in foonerville's™ "Humboldt Woods".
Got to mind the Feds.
Going for "Dopium" and "Barack O Bubba" in the outback patches. In the future, we'll sneak in some Cannasutra" and of course, who doesn't love Hulk Bliss"??? Huh? HUH?

That last one is really spelled with a Pee.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-16-19, 11:12 PM (EST)

470. "Getting Bored."

Guess I'll go on a Vision Quest.
Who's got the sugar cube?

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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05-17-19, 09:52 AM (EST)

471. "RE: Getting Bored."

Ah yes, Mr. Owsley, where are you?
White lightning is the game.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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05-17-19, 12:51 PM (EST)

472. "So, you've got..."

... the cajones for thujone!

Surfkitten Summer sigshop 2008
It comes from the wormwood!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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05-18-19, 09:56 AM (EST)

473. "RE: So, you've got..."

Actually, I like experimenting on other people.

You can never find a good Toad when you need one.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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05-28-19, 03:29 PM (EST)

474. "Getcher boots on..."

Da dicey spamma eez locked up in da slamma.

Caged by Snidget

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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05-29-19, 08:05 PM (EST)

475. "RE: Getcher boots on..."

An mea thanksa for thatsa.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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06-06-19, 05:26 PM (EST)

476. "*Sigh*"

LAST EDITED ON 06-06-19 AT 11:16 PM (EST)
So Many Channels to watch and I can only find Uranus.

At least there was a very bad commercial involving genital warts or something.

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kidflash212 5038 desperate attention whore postings
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06-08-19, 12:13 PM (EST)

477. "RE: *Sigh*"

Tribe!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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06-11-19, 02:17 AM (EST)

478. "RE: *Sigh*"

Nice one, Kid.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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06-11-19, 10:22 PM (EST)

479. "RE: *Sigh*"

And the prevalence of methane in the Uranus atmosphere points to an astronomically huge primordial fart.

Pepe's summer 2013 sig blast

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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06-14-19, 12:43 PM (EST)

480. "RE: *Sigh*"

Rumor has it that Saturn has irritable bowel syndrome. Just can't help herself.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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06-19-19, 11:05 AM (EST)

481. "On The FoonerTrain©"

Wonder if one of my citizens is happy enough riding the rails?

I AM KUKULGOD!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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06-19-19, 11:24 AM (EST)

482. "RE: On The FoonerTrain©"

I think he's waiting for the Fooner food truck to show up with his daily feed of grits and gravy.
Either that, or he's dead. But you know, with a plaid hoodie, if he was dead some Scottish guy would have stolen that from him.
(Do we allow Scottish thieves in Foonerville? That's a question for the next council meeting. Which means we need to start having council meetings.)

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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06-19-19, 10:23 PM (EST)

483. "RE: On The FoonerTrain©"

Hear My Train A Comin'

Ragtop Ride by foonermints
Best Hendrix acoustic guitar song evah!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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06-23-19, 11:08 AM (EST)

484. "RE: On The FoonerTrain©"

Got to agree.
Maybe he's going for the cheap getaway?

Handcrafted by RollDdice

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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07-03-19, 07:18 AM (EST)

485. "Reports of the Rattlesnake"

Are probably real. Remember, if you get bit in the elevator, no one will find you - well maybe after you croak, Stinky!
A cheap disclaimer from the foonerlawyers©Hey! You were warned! Try sueing the snake if you don't die!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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07-03-19, 11:37 AM (EST)

486. "RE: Reports of the Rattlesnake"

LAST EDITED ON 07-03-19 AT 12:03 PM (EST)
Dear Aunt Flappy,
Usually, when I go to bed, I'm seeing snakes everywhere. Is this normal?

Dear Kingfish,
Just do what the nice men in the white suits tell you to do.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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07-05-19, 03:48 PM (EST)

487. "Quaky snaky"

LAST EDITED ON 07-05-19 AT 03:48 PM (EST)
Maybe it's that recent 6.4 earthquake that jostled the rattlesnakes out of hiding in the elevator well.

Ragtop Ride by foonermints
Did you get a rolling tremor where you're at?

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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07-07-19, 09:10 PM (EST)

488. "RE: Quaky snaky"

Speaking of which, what's shaking in the Fooner neighborhood?

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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07-08-19, 10:47 PM (EST)

489. "My guess?"

His bed?

Passengers on fooner's crazytrain
(And not because of an earthquake.)

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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07-09-19, 05:48 PM (EST)

490. "RE: My guess?"

I don't get that. Was that just another obtuse dig at his politics, which he as an American has a right to express, or was that just callous disregard for his proximity to the latest earthquake epicenter which was about 150 mi away from him when he's at home?
If it's the former, you should know that using this thread as a stage for expressing incessant criticisms of anyone gets a bit tiring. Let's just all agree that Presidents in general as well as politicians in general are all putzes and go on from there. Whatever you feelings are, you can express them at the ballot box in Nov 2020.
If you're just doing a Foonerville riff, well, although I don't quite get the punchline, I can accept that. In fact I encourage it.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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07-09-19, 10:22 PM (EST)

491. "RE: My guess?"

Perhaps the reference to a bed shaking (due to causes other than an earthquake) is a wee bit obtusefuscating for some.
The only one making incessant criticisms these days is the Prez himself, with the British ambassador being the latest target-of-the-day from the toilet seat.
To wit, "The wacky Ambassador that the U.K. foisted upon the United States is not someone we are thrilled with, a very stupid guy" and "a pompous fool".
Guess it takes one to call one, eh?

Pepe's summer 2013 sig blast
Methinks Trump secretly wishes half of California would disappear into the Pacific Ocean.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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07-15-19, 03:05 PM (EST)

492. "RE: My Half? Trump will Loose One Supporter!"

I still like Donald Trump!
He has shaken up the Democrats, and under Obama there were the same policies in place for immigration, none of which was ever advertised with such vitriol. Lots of press BS.

Handcrafted by RollDdice
Yes, the hanging lamp in the living room was swaying for a long time. A 7.1 earthquake here.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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07-15-19, 08:49 PM (EST)

493. "RE: My Half? Trump will Loose One Supporter!"

Go back to where you came from until you appreciate what it is to be ~~an American~~ a Trumpian.

Pepe's summer 2013 sig blast
Or, if you prefer... Trumpkin.
Or, Trumpnik.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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07-16-19, 06:11 PM (EST)

494. "Washington DC?"

Or Austria?

Handcrafted by RollDdice

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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07-18-19, 10:47 PM (EST)

495. "RE: Washington DC?"

They don't want him there, either.

Pepe's summer 2013 sig blast
Maybe he should seek asylum elsewhere, like of the insane variety.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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07-19-19, 11:04 AM (EST)

496. "I'll Give It 50%"

Only the bitter, resentful 50%, as they didn't get their Madwoman in.

You'll have to settle for the other mean, spiteful vindictive b!tch]

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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07-19-19, 06:06 PM (EST)

497. "RE: I'll Give It 50%"

Which other mean, spiteful vindictive beyotch?
Pocohontas (aka Elizabeth Warren) or Bus Girl* (aka Kamala Harris)?

Pepe's summer 2013 sig blast
*I made that one up.
For the full list of actual Trumpian nicknames for his political opponents, look no further than here. Somehow, Kamala escaped his attention.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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07-19-19, 07:26 PM (EST)

498. "Foonerville©"

Still has a place for Nancy. She could take a refreshing swim at the top of a 600' waterfall, like Nevada Fall in Yosemite. Oops! See you later Nancy!

We don't even bother to look for them anymore.
Figure the fish will find her by the time she reaches a place like Fresno, but of course, much nicer near Foonerville™ Kingfish can take a bite.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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07-20-19, 11:25 AM (EST)

499. "RE: Foonerville©"

I'm on a minnow diet. Minnows and moonshine.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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07-20-19, 04:15 PM (EST)

500. "RE: Foonerville©"

LAST EDITED ON 07-20-19 AT 04:17 PM (EST)

And since this seemed to be swimming by, I'll have the 500 post "got cha" for desert. Or was it a Shazam! post? A Bazingka"? A "Schwoopsie?"(Getting old).

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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07-21-19, 01:13 AM (EST)

501. "RE: Foonerville©"

500 is a nice round number.

Pepe's summer 2013 sig blast
On a circular track like the Indy 500.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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07-21-19, 01:19 AM (EST)

502. "RE: Foonerville©"

Which Nancy might you be referring to?
a) High Tax, High Crime Nancy
b) MS-13 Lover Nancy
c) Crazy Nancy
d) Nervous Nancy
e) All of the above (according to Trump)

Pepe's summer 2013 sig blast
Lately, it seems like she's more of a Antsy Nancy. I'm surprised Trump hasn't come up with that one yet.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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07-22-19, 07:31 PM (EST)

503. "No More Politics in Foonerville."

As your mayor decrees, so shall it be. Of course, there is a troublemaker trying to swoop his own post, and the groundbreaker for Foonerville©. Dreadful!
I will give him a "Cowabunga" for the 500th post.
Henceforth, we only hang out under the shade sails in the FoonerMansion And drink Cadillac Margaritas, whether you like a bit of Grand Marnier or not with your tequila. Yes, this is now the law (at least on the patio).
Looking at Tiki Torches through October.. Hmmm..

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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07-22-19, 09:34 PM (EST)

504. "RE: No More Politics in Foonerville."

Okay, deal. I'll reserve my political commentary and "Jihad Squad" movie posters within the Trump and Mueller thresds, provided drinks are free on the Foonerhouse.

Pepe's summer 2013 sig blast
Along with some other legal recreational substances within the state of California.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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07-23-19, 10:52 AM (EST)

505. "Completely Legal"

I have no idea why it wasn't legal in the first place. No more back pain for your Mayor! Plus, the quality of the product is 100%. *goofy grin*

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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07-23-19, 10:53 AM (EST)

506. "RE: No More Politics in Foonerville."

Cointreau works for me.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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07-31-19, 09:19 AM (EST)

507. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Godfather, Joke
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido,
has cheated him out of $10,000,000.00
His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job
in the first place.
It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would
not have to testify in court.
When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing
$10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.
The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!"
The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, Where's the money?
Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."
The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know
what you're talking about." The Godfather pulls out a pistol,
puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!"
The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."
Guido trembles and signs, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown
briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house.
The Godfather asks the lawyer,
"What did he say?"
The lawyer replies,
"He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."

So life in foonerville™ gets a bit richer..

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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07-31-19, 01:12 PM (EST)

508. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Great joke.
Now, for news from the sports desk. There was no last minute trade for a starting pitcher for the Foonerville Flatfoots. The requirement that the pitcher double as a backup to Igor to make moonshine was apparently a deal breaker. That and the fact that Foonerville Flatfoots don't exist, except as a ruse to get Igor some help.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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08-01-19, 10:30 PM (EST)

509. "Have you heard this one? "

At a hotel restaurant, a man sees am attractive woman sitting alone at the next table
Suddenly, she sneezes, and a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket. It hurls past the man who snatches it out of the air and hands it back to her.
"This is so embarrassing" the woman says, and she pops the eye back into place. "I’m sorry to have disturbed you, let me buy you dinner to make it up to you?"
She is a stimulating funny conversationalist, and the man finds they have a lot in common.
He gets her phone number, and tells her "you are the most charming woman I’ve ever encountered. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"
"No," she replied
"You just happened to catch my eye."
(yeah, I know, it's older than the hills)

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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08-02-19, 09:15 PM (EST)

510. "RE: Have you heard this one? "

GAH! *laugh!*

Bouncy Gorn by Icey!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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08-03-19, 12:29 PM (EST)

511. "Stand up night at the Foonerville Bar and Grill"

...where the waitresses make it rain sunshine.
And where GAH is the highest praise.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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08-03-19, 06:00 PM (EST)

512. "Of Course, It's Even More Interesting in the Western Saloon."

Best to take the waitress upstairs for her consideration.
YEE HAW! ← click it, you know you want to!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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08-08-19, 08:17 PM (EST)

513. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

LAST EDITED ON 08-09-19 AT 10:38 AM (EST)
Dear Mayor,
Just saw some bats fly out of the town belfry. Thought you ought to know. They looked hungry.
I think it's time to elect a new bat-catcher.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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08-12-19, 02:05 PM (EST)

514. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville FUN!"

RETIRED HUSBAND
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to WalMart. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from the local WalMart:
Dear Mrs. Harris:
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you from the store.
Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a, 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while, loudly humming the, 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his, 'Madonna Look' using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed;
'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?
And last, but not least:
16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile; then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.

Handcrafted by RollDdice
Now your Mayor is banned. *sigh* Well, I can always sneak in past the punk security guard.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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08-13-19, 09:16 PM (EST)

515. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville FUN!"

I thought we banned Walmarts in Foonerville. And McDonald's too.
We've got our own Smalltown five-and-dime.

Passengers on fooner's crazytrain
And our own rail car diner where the buns are hot and soft!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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08-14-19, 03:22 PM (EST)

516. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville FUN!"

We need video of the guy doing the Madonna thing.
Also, the prime entertainment venue in foonerville is our walmart. Five and dimes got no class.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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08-14-19, 09:26 PM (EST)

517. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville FUN!"

Just Google "Walmart shoppers" images. I dare you, no, I double dare you!
Oh, there you are!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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08-15-19, 08:42 AM (EST)

518. "Bleh."

I'd rather watch the hidden cameras in the women's dressing room.

What. no upskirt photos?

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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08-15-19, 10:49 AM (EST)

519. "RE: Bleh."

Presumably for security and loss prevention measures, correct?

Pepe's summer 2013 sig blast
You never know when some lady will try to swap out her worn out Hanes underwear and bras for new ones on the sly!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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08-15-19, 02:47 PM (EST)

520. "ttRE: Bleh."

And just for the record I shop at Wal-Mart all the time and have yet to see those people. And I looked. And looked. All I do find are normal shoppers. Dammit.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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08-15-19, 08:18 PM (EST)

521. "RE: ttRE: Bleh."

All I do find are normal shoppers. Dammit.
Define "normal".
Appropriately dressed? Appropriately behaved?

Pepe's summer 2013 sig blast
And who the heck in Foonerville is "normal"?

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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08-17-19, 02:01 PM (EST)

522. "RE: ttRE: Bleh."

LAST EDITED ON 08-17-19 AT 02:04 PM (EST)

I think you know what "normal" means. In this context it means that which you would normally find in any store, or gathering for that matter. And since the word "appropriately" is subjective, it isn't valid unless one is priggish,.
Internet users have made it a meme of Walmart, something to be made fun of. A lot of people who are inclined to find something to feel superior to will buy into these memes, but the truth is that in this case you can could go thru Walmart and not find any more examples of extreme dress or behavior there than in any other store.
I'd like to find examples of this anywhere, and I can't. Well, maybe they exist in California, but I'm guessing California isn't that much different than here.
Just as a side note, you do realize that this is a form of bigotry?
Another side note, I admire that guy in the lounger.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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08-17-19, 09:39 PM (EST)

523. "RE: ttRE: Bleh."

True 'nuf, you'll find (mostly) "normal" people everywhere, including your local WalMart, CVS, Kroger/WinnDixie and other retail and restaurant establishments.
Then again, from time to time, you'll also find oddballs in almost all the same places.
But why is Walmart, in particular, the butt (no pun intended) of most of the jokes and not some other national retail chain? Is there some kind of prevalent demographic characteristic common to Walmart shoppers? Or is it some kind of prejudice against Walmart itself as a megastore chain, due to its labor practices and plethora of Made in China products?
Deep questions that are probably best left on the shallow end of the pool.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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08-18-19, 01:39 AM (EST)

524. "RE: ttRE: Bleh."

Walmart gets a lot of bad press, so that probably plays into it.
But I think that someone just started it with Walmart, probably someone who disliked Walmart, and people saw those photos, thought they were funny, and posted more. I'm guessing that those photos aren't all from Walmart, but just posted as "photos from Walmart". Photos from Walmart just became a generic thing.
I still haven't seen any in person anywhere though. Just normal people shopping normally. Depressing. I'd be leery of taking a picture of them though.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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08-18-19, 09:34 PM (EST)

525. "Walmart Hero"

Meanwhile, El Paso law enforcement is looking for this Walmart shopper...
And not because the shoplifting alarm went off when he was strolling through the doors.
He is reputed to have saved several lives during the shooting there.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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08-19-19, 11:09 AM (EST)

526. "RE: Walmart Hero"

I'm having a hard time focusing here... Best your Mayor sees an ophthalmologist.

}I used to be 21 years old. Still might be. Wondering? It's above 21,000' on Noshaq in the Walkahn Corridor in Afghanistan. In the background are the four summits of Asp-E-Safed.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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08-21-19, 11:20 AM (EST)

527. "RE: Walmart Hero"

Wow, maybe I'm the one who needs glasses.
Is that you at age 21 in Afghan mountains? If so, what year was that? And what the heck were you doing there?

Pepe's summer 2013 sig blast

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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09-06-19, 07:18 AM (EST)

531. "Wakhan Corridor"

Your Mayor has visited a lot of places.
It's funny, I used to walk over ridges by Mount Everest to find out if the Chinese had patrols at 20,000 feet. They did.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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09-06-19, 02:11 PM (EST)

532. "RE: Wakhan Corridor"

I can just picture a fist fight at 20,000 feet. Whoever coughs up the least blood wins.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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08-28-19, 09:05 PM (EST)

528. "RE: Walmart Hero"

Impressive mountains.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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08-30-19, 11:40 PM (EST)

529. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

All residents of Foonerville get a free cat, compliments of the Foonerville ASPCA.
You will need a shovel.
.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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09-03-19, 01:34 PM (EST)

530. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

LAST EDITED ON 09-03-19 AT 05:31 PM (EST)
Apparently word of mouth or RTVW ads aren't effective. This cat is now listed on eBay for $5, or best offer. Shovel and auction fees provided by buyer.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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09-11-19, 05:51 AM (EST)

533. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

LAST EDITED ON 09-11-19 AT 06:06 AM (EST)
Foonerville, unlike Massachusetts welcomes all firearms, Kinda like Texas, goddammit.
We are all peaceful here. Especially the violent ones on boot hill.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=laGgH8p7XHU

This guy can shoot!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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09-11-19, 10:41 PM (EST)

534. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

LAST EDITED ON 09-13-19 AT 03:17 AM (EST)

We need to be able to defend the homestead against the invasion of Norberts. I think No 89 just stuck it's nose in our tent.
And against those disbelievers that are trying to convince us that SBOT is dead. We're just resting.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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09-15-19, 10:16 PM (EST)

535. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Still resting.
We need our nap time.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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09-25-19, 02:32 PM (EST)

536. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Dreaming...
This year BB doesn't suck as bad as it usually does.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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10-06-19, 09:24 AM (EST)

537. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Where Spammers are *kicked*

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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10-06-19, 09:46 AM (EST)

538. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Your Mayor is back to making natural Day Packs..
*goofy grin*

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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10-08-19, 11:43 PM (EST)

539. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

This just might put Foonerville on the map.
And it's residents are grateful to it's mayor for the cleanup.
Maggots everywhere.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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10-09-19, 09:06 AM (EST)

540. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Texas Growers Co-op? It's not even legal there.
What strain do they grow? Lone Star Super Silver Haze sativa?

Pepe's summer 2013 sig blast

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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10-14-19, 11:47 AM (EST)

541. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Marijuana is legal in Texas. Almost. Under 2 oz is now just a misdemeanor. And CBD is legal and available for narrowly defined medical uses. Besides, I think the point of the post was more that the fabric that is woven hemp, and the bill that Tex. Gov. Abbot signed excluded hemp from the definition of Marijuana. So Fooner's hemp is legal in Texas. Just a pity that it doesn't provide a high.
In my opinion people are making this issue more complicated than is necessary. Marijuana use does not pose a problem for society, certainly not to the extent that alcohol does. The laws against it were enacted for racial reasons and in religious ignorance and should be repealed.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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10-14-19, 02:13 PM (EST)

542. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

And here I am in Indiana, where surrounding states Illinois, Michigan and Ohio have legalized it in some form or another.
Only the Kentuckian hillbillies south of us haven't legalized it, although I suspect there is plenty of illicit crop being grown there next to the moonshine stills.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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10-14-19, 04:33 PM (EST)

543. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

I think that that's a pretty good bet.
Slowly but surely things are changing.
Are you saying it's been legalized in Indiana? If so, congrats. Or are you lamenting that just the surrounding states have it and you haven't?
Medical CBD has even been legalized here in deep south Bible belt Louisiana, licenses for growing pot have been issued, and outlet licenses issued. Living here for most of my life, this is a really stunning development. So the laws have been established and promulgated, but the final act of dispensing CBD hasn't quite been completed.
People here that desire pot are getting the smokable stuff the old fashioned way, driving to Colorado.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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10-15-19, 11:49 AM (EST)

544. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

CBD is legal here and you see gas stations advertising outside that they sell it.
But the psychotropic kind? Na da. Never in Indiana unless it gets legalized by the Feds.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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10-17-19, 03:44 PM (EST)

545. "SHOOT!"

Foonerville© hereby approves of all illegal and harmless nonsense. A Sanctuary 'Ville!
Uh Oh!

Yep, going to Hell in a Handbasket.

Handcrafted by RollDdice

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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10-18-19, 07:00 PM (EST)

546. "RE: SHOOT!"

Misery...Lust...Crime...Sorrow...whatever...shame...despair! Throw in wild parties, and wild orgies.
(Mind you not the regular kind of orgy, the WILD kind).
I hereby propose that the town motto be that, and that devil fingers be the town emblem.
I also second it.
And I vote it in, since I'm the only one at this meeting. This resolution passes 1-0.
And so it is, and so it shall be.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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10-29-19, 02:57 PM (EST)

547. "Ukraine"

Because with time memories fade, I should remind the world that we on these boards were the first to mention the Ukraine related problems.
And also, that Fooner shot Baghdadi who was hiding in the Spidey Hole behind the world famous Foonerville Indian Reservation Gambling and Hooker Hall. Right between those bushy eyebrows (obvious eyebrow wigs) it was.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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11-01-19, 02:11 PM (EST)

548. "RE: Ukraine"

*whisper*
Hey, you Ukrainians, have you got any dirt on Mayor Fooner?

Pepe's summer 2013 sig blast

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-19, 10:41 PM (EST)

549. "RE: The Entire Ukraine Knows"

Your Mayor is as honest as the day is long.

Handcrafted by RollDdice

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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11-03-19, 11:09 PM (EST)

550. "RE: The Entire Ukraine Knows"

Your Mayor is as honest as the day is long.
Which, at this time of year, is getting shorter and shorter.

Pepe's summer 2013 sig blast

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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11-04-19, 01:14 PM (EST)

551. "RE: The Entire Ukraine Knows"

But it just so happens that dirt is his specialty.
We're in luck.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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11-04-19, 03:20 PM (EST)

552. "RE: The Entire Ukraine Knows"

Are you calling Fooner a dirty old man?

Pepe's summer 2013 sig blast

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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11-04-19, 09:41 PM (EST)

553. "RE: The Entire Ukraine Knows"

You bet. That was his platform when he ran for Mayor.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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11-12-19, 12:11 PM (EST)

554. "The Dirt Platform!"

Yes! I came from a long line of dirt. Not to mention the Nitty Gritty..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fqzNdzIt_s

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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11-12-19, 07:30 PM (EST)

555. "RE: The Dirt Platform!"

It's all fun and games until he wants to date your daughter.
Then that circle gets unbroken.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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11-12-19, 10:16 PM (EST)

556. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Remembers Veterans Day..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5C4meGkNyc

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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11-13-19, 05:48 PM (EST)

557. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Yes.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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11-27-19, 03:13 PM (EST)

558. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

In the national interest, I hereby condemn Bread and Butter to death by cooking in my oven.
I've heard enough Gobbledygook about freeing immigrant turkeys. No more I say, they should stew in their own juices after being stuffed to the gills.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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11-30-19, 03:11 AM (EST)

559. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

And, by the way, Happy Thanksgiving to all.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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12-02-19, 05:25 PM (EST)

560. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

And here's to hoping you had a good Thanksgiving, too.
We had sort of an international gathering at my place on Thanksgiving, with some of DW's Malaysian compatriots joining us for an American style celebration with my signature prime rib roast as the main dish. Turns out Asians aren't too fond of turkey, so we switched to prime rib a few years ago.

Sherlocked by agman.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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12-07-19, 09:52 PM (EST)

561. "Left Overs"

At the end of the tax year the IRS sent an inspector to audit the books
of a synagogue. While he was checking the books, he turned to the Rabbi
and said, "I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the
candle drippings?"
"Good question," noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them back to
the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of
candles"
"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual
question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way:
"What about all these matzo (bread) purchases? What do you do with the
crumbs?"
"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, realizing that the inspector was trying to
trap him with an unanswerable question. "We collect them and send back
to the
manufacturers, and every now and then they send a free box of
matzo balls."
"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster
the know-it-all Rabbi. "Well, Rabbi," he went on, "What do you do with
all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"
"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save up
all the foreskins and send them to the Internal Revenue Service, and
about once a year they send us a complete Dick."

Handcrafted by RollDdice

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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12-08-19, 10:56 AM (EST)

562. "RE: Left Overs"

In these time of hate, fighting, and general disquietude, we should focus on those we really hate. The IRS.
Great joke. Will steal it for my Christmas after dinner speech. May alter "dick" to "pus dripping purple pole", but it'll still be essentially the same. Should be great.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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12-08-19, 10:38 PM (EST)

563. "RE: Left Overs"

LAST EDITED ON 12-11-19 AT 10:27 PM (EST)
You can always try this one too:
THE IRISHMAN AND THE MORMON
A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips." The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said
"Me, too, I didn't know we had a choice."
Whee!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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12-19-19, 04:24 PM (EST)

565. "RE: Left Overs"

Mormons know how to live.
But you would be pretty sore the next day.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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12-19-19, 03:33 PM (EST)

564. "Time To Watch Old Movies!"

"Journey to the Seventh Planet"
"Explorers find danger when they land on Uranus." John Agar, Greta Thyssen, Mimi Heinrich, Ann Smyrner.
We always knew that landing on Uranus was dangerous!

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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12-19-19, 04:27 PM (EST)

566. "RE: Time To Watch Old Movies!"

I'll shoot you if you try landing on Myanus.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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12-20-19, 09:28 PM (EST)

567. "So says the Man..."

... from Planet X! (1951)

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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01-03-20, 02:05 PM (EST)

568. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

LAST EDITED ON 01-04-20 AT 01:50 PM (EST)
And the sleepy little fishing village of Foonerville, founded by Fooner's whaling ancestor Ahab Fooner, wakes up two days after the annual New Year's celebration of the Mermaid Petunia, who legend has it was a Fooner ancestor that returned to the sea shortly after whelping the first generation of Fooners.
Hence the nickname "Those Whelping Fooners".
It's been lost to history whether the celebration was for Petunia's leaving (supposedly she did walk and swim in a cloud of eau de rotten fish toilette - and there definitely would have been a village celebration for that), or simply to finish off the year's supply of Skunkweed Moonshine. After a year in the basement of Helga's Wild and Wet Surprise Ending Massage Parlor, Skunkweed Moonshine begins to reek of the legendary Fooner ancestral smell. It really has to be consumed before the cloud of buzzards circling above in search of that rancid odor overcome their reluctance to take over the town.
Although there is nothing like the experience of having buckets of buzzard diarrhea rain down on ones head, experience had taught the citizens of Foonerville that avoiding said rain is a preferred action.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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01-05-20, 10:00 PM (EST)

569. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Whelp, I dunno what to say to that...

Pepe's summer 2013 sig blast
I think my phone is buzzarding.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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01-10-20, 02:58 PM (EST)

570. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

One might say thank you for that historical perspective.
Or, one might say get out of town you lying blowhard.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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01-16-20, 11:15 PM (EST)

571. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Sorry, I'm the Sheriff in town (see Foonerville posts at top).
Now, you're not under arrest, you have the right to be vocal, anything you say can and will be used to be repeated as necessary.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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01-17-20, 07:47 PM (EST)

572. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

Yes! Thank you! Obviously there are royalty fees attached, so Thanks.
Happy Petunia the Mermaid Month, I mean we had such a blurry time that we decided to extend the festivities for a whole month. (We are considering calling 2020 the year of Petunia - will let you know how that develops. Igor's already got the still percolating, so leaning 'yes').

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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01-23-20, 11:35 AM (EST)

573. "This place..."

This place is so deserted that I see tumbleweeds rolling down Foonerville Main Street.

Pepe's summer 2013 sig blast
Even the pigeons have abandoned the town square.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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01-23-20, 04:12 PM (EST)

574. "RE: This place..."

Probably everyone's still passed out from the Petunia festivities. Or dead. Or on move to SC.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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01-26-20, 06:26 PM (EST)

575. "Your Mayor.."

LAST EDITED ON 01-27-20 AT 06:48 PM (EST)
Advised by Attorney to delete this.

Yes, I hired a lawyer as soon as I got home.

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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01-26-20, 10:44 PM (EST)

576. "I stand corrected..."

This place is so deserted that I see Fooner rolling down Foonerville Main Street.
Ouch!

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-20, 06:49 PM (EST)

578. "RE: I stand corrected..."

Thanks! I am a mess.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-20, 02:59 PM (EST)

577. "RE: Your Mayor.."

Little did you know that not only was the universe out to get you, but that you had pissed off the student body of Loyola (New Orleans?) and that they had hatched an evil plan to steal your clothes. I suppose they were trying to embarrass you to death. As if running you over wasn't enough.
The fiends! However, as usual, Foonerville is to the rescue. Under the bar at Rosarita's Bar and Grill, home of the $5 Quickie, and located across the street from Helga's Wild and Wet Surprise Ending Massage Parlor, we have a s**t ton of clothes from previous patrons having to leave suddenly due to the unexpected appearance of divorce attorneys serving papers.
And we have a special place located under Helga's basement for a certain Loyola student as well as any so called witnesses who falsely claim they saw that you had just chugged from a jug of purported moonshine and were walking sidewise as well as regular wise. Complete with chains and alligators. Not the cute little ones, but the kind that eat horses in one gulp.
Get well Foon.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-20, 06:51 PM (EST)

579. "RE: Your Mayor.."

Will it help with the 8 stitches under my chin?

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-20, 07:33 PM (EST)

580. "RE: Your Mayor.."

Yes.
See ole Doc Cahaya for a little white pill. Should be good for a script.
Leave any teeth on the pavement?

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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01-28-20, 02:52 PM (EST)

581. "RE: Your Mayor.."

Still have mine to grind on.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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01-30-20, 00:00 AM (EST)

582. "RE: Your Mayor.."

LAST EDITED ON 01-30-20 AT 11:20 AM (EST)
Traumatized. Might need the little blue pill.
Stitches should come out today..

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
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01-30-20, 11:49 AM (EST)

583. "RE: Your Mayor.."

Welcome to Cahaya's Apothecary!
Take your pick, red, white or blue!

Pepe's summer 2013 sig blast
Want some green with that, too?

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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01-30-20, 06:36 PM (EST)

584. "RE: Your Mayor.."

Take one red, one white, and one blue.
(Either salute or place hand over heart for what happens next)

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
02-28-20, 05:42 PM (EST)

585. "Public Notice"

Rapid Response Notice from Office of the Foonerville Sheriff
Due to the threat of Covid-19, the local Sheriff has instituted deputy checkpoints into Foonerville to screen out and turn back any international visitors from touring our beloved Ville.
Yes, this is a setback for our tourist industry and Helga's playhouse, but it's for the health and safety of our community.
Anyone showing symptoms of infection will face mandatory quarantine for 2 weeks in Kingfish's basement of horrors.
The general store still has a stock of face masks and gloves for those who think they might need it.

Pepe's summer 2013 sig blast
Note: We're just following orders recently received from VP Michael Pence's task force.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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03-01-20, 10:29 PM (EST)

586. "RE: Public Notice"

I ain't worried. Igor's homemade hooch pretty well immunizes us against anything. Except liver failure. And falling down stairs.
No virus has a chance against it.
But anyone wishing to self quarantine themselves - well, they should come on down. It's not guaranteed that anyone will remember to re-open it in 2 weeks, or forever, but the welcome mat is out.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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03-14-20, 06:08 PM (EST)

587. "RE: Public Notice"

Hand Sanitizer hack? Moonshine. 180 proof.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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03-16-20, 09:18 PM (EST)

588. "RE: Public Notice"

No Food Riots please.

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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03-17-20, 04:38 PM (EST)

589. "RE: Public Notice"

Always ahead of the curve, OTers started social distancing before anyone else.

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-20, 04:55 AM (EST)

590. "RE: Public Notice"

Late night entertainment:

Who can sleep, anyway?

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foonermints 14529 desperate attention whore postings
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07-23-20, 06:48 PM (EST)

591. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

fOONERVILLE FOREVER!

foonermint: Hooligan Enabler

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kingfish 20726 desperate attention whore postings
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07-25-20, 06:05 PM (EST)

592. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

When does the next lad of hooch arrive? (New address - Monkey tree)

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cahaya 19881 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
07-27-20, 02:23 PM (EST)

593. "RE: Welcome to Foonerville"

All aboard!

Passengers on fooner's crazytrain
Next stop, Foonerville!

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