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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
attention-seekers pretending to be one big happy PG/PG13-rated family. Don't
be fooled. Trying to get everyone to agree with you is like herding cats,
but intolerance for other viewpoints is NOT welcome and respect for other
posters IS required at all times. Jump in and play, and you'll soon find out
how easy it is to fit in, but save your drama for your mama. All members are
encouraged to read the
complete guidelines.
As entertainment critic Roger
Ebert once said, "If you disagree with something I write, tell me so, argue
with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."
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"Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12"
Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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04-24-06, 11:25 PM (EST)
 
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"Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
I've decided we can't get enough product placement with just bean sprouts, so we're chucking that menu. Bring all the lard-filled-fats back. (The food, not the HGs.)Hey, we can always take all that Spandex and make a trampoline out of it! Stan, way to make everyone weepy at Kim's graduation. You so need a show of your own. Andy, was it you who came up with the pointy-haired boss look from Dilbert? Iyanla, way to work more folks into your bosoms. You don't do that at the county fair by any chance, do you? When can we have Kelly vs. Kim on pay-per-view? And Kelly, just how old are you, anyway? Christie, I just spoke to Tyra, and she says don't call her, she'll call you. However, Vern's Pre-Owned Cars may need someone for a spot. Jodi, that mask? I had Lisa2 the staff fish it out of the pool. Please put it back on. Thanks. Antonia, you want to become my chief accountant? Psych! Suze Orman will be over to get some more DAW time talk to you shortly. Please vacuum up the glitter after she leaves. Niambi, have "Mr. Situation" and "Mr. Internet" ever been in the same room together? And Rhonda, I admire your ability to hit a cross-court backhand while looking in the mirror. Do you drive in reverse all the way home? (That could be code if you like.) 
I'm so glad we won another Emmy. I need another doorstop.
ADMINISTRIVIA:You need not just follow my lead here. You can take this in any show-related direction you wish. Remember to use your sigs, or at least sign off as your characters. If you want to join in as a RECURRING character, please sign up in the new signup thread before posting. That's where you'll find your sigs also (although, if you're replacing someone, it may be in the old signup thread). Remember, if you're unable to post as your character for a time, just send me a note to that effect. Otherwise, I can only assume you're uninterested, which isn't fair to someone who might want to play. Currently claimed roles are: Jon Murray, Dr. Stan, Iyanla, Rhonda, Andy (and her mom), Antonia, Jodi, Kim, Kelly, Lisa2, Niambi, Christina, Poetri, Dr. VantToLookJung, the Garden Buddha, the Rose Bush, the Front Door, Bead Store Owner, and "Mr. Situation." New characters, or resurrected old ones, welcome! In abeyance: "Mr. Internet." Available: Christie. First one in the signup thread gets her. Do NOT post as a character that's been claimed. Thanks. You can post as ad hoc, one-time characters WITHOUT signing up. If you intend to reuse your character, please do sign up . . . thanks! And HAVE FUN! Non-players: THIS IS NOT A DISCUSSION THREAD. Discussion-type posts may be removed. BUT . . . You may address or ask questions of the role-players as their characters. E-mail or PM me with any problems. Based on various other "Be The . . ." games, created by (all hail) Angelfood.
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BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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04-25-06, 04:08 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
Oh, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim . . . you made me feel things I've never felt before. As a father, I will . . . I will . . . ::bursts into song:: I will be your father figure.
Put your tiny chest on mine . . . Keep in touch. I'll keep up the fatherly stuff. Like blubber, blubber, bawl, bawl, bawl . . . . Bwaaaaa Haaaa Boo hoo hoo Sniff. 
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snowflake2 1499 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson"
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04-25-06, 01:35 AM (EST)
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2. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
Oh no! Iyanla's askin' for a percentage!!Jill calculates how much money her “stardom” has brought in so far… 
"…$20.00 for a “conflama” BBQ apron, $20.99 for a “conflama” Jr. Spaghetti tank, and $16.00 for a “conflama” mouse pad….that’s $56.99!!! I can’t let Iyanla get a hold of that money! (thinks of all the items on the McDonald’s dollar menu $56.99 can buy.) And if she starts askin’ for money, like, uhhhhhhhhh, you know, then Rhonda’s gonna be next! Ha-ha, lucky I changed those T-shirts and journals I’m sellin’ to read “Fearless Livin’” instead of “Fearless Living”…that makes it like, uhhhhhhhhhh, you know, a totally different sayin’.
<<At this point Jill is sweating a little more than usual.>> Mama Iyanla, don’t I deserve, uhhhhhhhhhhh, you know, a little sumthin’ sumthin’ for all I did for you, takin’ time out of my busy schedule to appear on your show, uhhhhh, you know, to help you with the ratings…and remember how you made me carry those bags with my 40 lb tumor??? I think I deserve a little sumthin’ sumthin’ for that….oh laaaaawd, now I’m getting’ all upset, and the doctor says stress is gonna make my tumor grow bigger and bigger…<<fans self with wrapper from Big Mac, dabs at tears with napkin from KFC, and thinks, ’if the tumor thang worked for Allison…’>> And not to make you feel guilty, but I was kinda expectin’ my own talk show as a graduation gift, and all I got was a job introducin’ jazz songs on a little radio station. Yeah, they don’t even let me educate anyone by dispensing’ my “pearls”, entertain anyone with my “Jill-isms”, or enlighten anyone with all this spiritual awareness I’ve like uhhhhhhh, you know, accumulated. And that b*tch station manager’s been tellin’ me my hover round is leavin’ tire tracks all over her floors, and that I get the mic greasy when I eat spicy wings between songs. And uhhhhhhhh, you know, while we’re on the subject of those Burger King and Dunkin’ Donuts coupons… Iyanla Baby, I’m a STAR now. I can’t be seen payin’ with coupons. My fans expect to see a little more of this “livin’ large” we do. So it’s gonna have to be uhhhhh, you know, CASH from now on. And now if you’ll excuse me, I got fan mail waitin’ to be answered.” <<balances laptop on handlebars of scooter. >> <<Jill has FOUR new e-mail messages!!>> <<reads first one, which asks how medical treatment of her tumor is progressing. Hits “delete” without replying..>> <<reads second one, in which a SO viewer inquires how her relationship with Daddy Leonard is progressing. Hits “delete” without replying.>> <<reads third message, which asks how much weight she’s lost since leaving the Starting Over House. Hits “delete” without replying.>> <<reads fourth message, which asks if she’s received any “Hollywood offers” since graduating. Hits “delete” without replying.>> <<decides to close e-mail, and checks to see if Dairy Queen has a website.>>
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snowflake2 1499 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson"
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04-25-06, 02:54 AM (EST)
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5. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
<<Jill puts down her bag of pork rinds and gives Situation Man the once-over>>Hey, Situation Man, you ain't half bad. I like your bling, and you got a nice smile. You interested in switchin' from Niambi to a curvy girl?
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alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"
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04-25-06, 11:40 AM (EST)
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7. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
Hey Jill. Nice ride! Did you get that FREE for being on the show? How do I get free stuff? I WANT FREE STUFF! Did you see my closet? I NEED MORE STUFF.Hey I got credit cards. <Rattles credit card bracelets. Examines cards on bracelets> Hmmm. Maybe one of these would actually work. C'mon Jill let's go for it! They'll send the bill to Mr. Murray. Miss Iyanla will never know. <Picks up phone and calls store to place order> 
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snowflake2 1499 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson"
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04-25-06, 01:00 PM (EST)
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8. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
LAST EDITED ON 04-25-06 AT 01:02 PM (EST)
Antonia…guuuuuurl, I been watchin’ you, and all I can say is, “You are a trip!!”. For the love of Christmas, I can’t believe you were stupid enough to let yourself get in debt like that. That’s okay, though, ‘cause I like you, and I think the Universe has uhhhhhh, you know, caused our paths to cross so I can give you some real life coachin’. Now, you need to stop signin’ up for the plastic. That was really stupid. All you need to do is learn some famous Jeeee-yull Tracey shoplifting techniques. It’s fast, easy, and no creditor conflama. Don’t worry, I’m here to teach you the fine art of goin’ shoppin’ with empty bags & comin’ back with them full. I can also teach you how to leave your old clothes in the fittin’ room while you walk out wearin’ the new ones. It’s fun. I’ll also show you how to uhhhhhhhh, you know, laugh it off if you get caught. I know just what you mean about not wanting those dirty clothes you can afford….I only stole the best. You like Prada, Antonia? You ready to be educated, enlightened, and entertained? Just hop your @ss on the handlebars of my scooter. <<tosses aside Krispy Kreme box to make room, takes a moment to recover from the physical exertion>> You mind if we go through the Mickey D drive thru on our way?
edited to remove regular sig
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snowflake2 1499 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson"
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04-25-06, 11:38 PM (EST)
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12. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
Don’t worry, Antonia baby, you ain’t gotta be embarrassed bein’ seen on this fine ride. <<pats Hoverround and starts off down the driveway. Stops briefly when they come to Iyanla‘s parked Mercedes. Reaches over & quickly breaks off hood ornament, and tosses it into her handbag>> “Remind me to super-glue that on to the front of my scooter later. Now for more Jeeee-yull Tracey pearls of wisdom. Now Antonia, girl, remember, you get one chance at superstardom, you gotta grab it, just like I did. You gotta start thinking’ of comin’ up with, uhhhhhhhhhhhh, you know, some kind of catchphrase. Just take something’ Iyanla says to you and call it your own. For instance, if I were you, I’d already be havin’ T-shirts made up with the logo “Too Pretty To Ride the Bus” across the front. Yeah, lotta girls would wanna buy those. You got a website yet, Antonia? Don’t worry girl, you gonna be alright. But you gotta start cryin’ soon…they like it when you cry. You watch any of my SO performances, Antonia? I let those tears run into my neck creases and down my shirt. And you gotta stop all this nonsense sayin’ your mama is your best friend…Iyanla is your mama now! You just uhhhhhh, you know, remember that."
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sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
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04-26-06, 01:39 PM (EST)
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15. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
><<Jill puts down her bag of pork rinds and gives Situation Man the once-over>>
>
>Hey, Situation Man, you ain't half
>bad. I like your
>bling, and you got a
>nice smile. You interested
>in switchin' from Niambi to
>a curvy girl?
>
Mmmmm, gurl, you fine. So yeah, you like my bling, huh? Baby, I gots mo' where dat come from. But lissen, gurl, you can't be tellin' Niambi I be talking witch you. She tell my gurlfrien' an dey be all kinda sh## comin' my way. Mmmm, hmm, l checkin' outcho ride too. Where you get dat?? I need to be gettin' me ride like dat. 
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BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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04-25-06, 03:57 PM (EST)
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10. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
Bwahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ah bwahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.No, no. Not quite right. Bwahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ah hawwwwwwwwwwwww boo hoo. No, no. ::dabs glycerine in eye corners:: ::rewinds Ice Castle DVD on iVideo:: Uhslubberblubber ::voice crack:: ::deep sucking sound:: a boo hoo. Yes.
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alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"
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04-26-06, 09:42 AM (EST)
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13. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
Wah wah wah boo hoo hoooooooo. (How'm I doin' Jill?)
WWWAAAAAAHHHHHHH.I'm so pi$$ed. I hate STAHTIN OVAH!!! They promised me good sh!t and I'm not gettin' any. I had to buy my own. WTF?! What happened to all the sh!t everyone else got? I'm prettier than they are. WWWAAAAAHHHHH WWWAAHHHHHH. I'm poutin' big time now. (How'm I doin'???) Is it workin' yet? Okay then... WWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I'm callin' my Mom.
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Anne18 239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
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04-26-06, 01:29 PM (EST)
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14. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
LAST EDITED ON 04-26-06 AT 06:19 PM (EST)LAST EDITED ON 04-26-06 AT 01:36 PM (EST) Cassie runs into the house with Rhonda. They sit down on the couch. Cassie: .... I just had to try one more time so I called and a young man said "Someone is looking for me where I'm at." He's coming to the SO house on Saturday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Looks at HG and Rhonda and mentions a line from a poem.
Cassie: You held me up when I couldn't walk... (Cries) Cassie thinks to herself "Hmmm, I am so happy to be spending some time here in the SO house again!". (Antonia where are you? I need you to say why I gave up my son for adoption. LOL!!!!!!!!) 
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SeasonedRefinement 1248 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
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04-26-06, 11:26 PM (EST)
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23. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
(Iyanla is seen walking towards her car in the SO driveway. She's in a chipper mood, kind of dancing as she walks. She is singing a little tune she made up herself)IYANLA: (singing a happy, hip-hop tune) My name is Miss Iyanla,
and I'm a life coach mama,
and I am soooo fine!
I borrowed Stanley's blanky,
and now's he's kinda cranky,
and I am stilll fine!
I'll give it to the ladies,
to polish my Mercedez,
my car is soooo fine!
It's great to be Iyanla.
cause I'm a ......(singing abruptly stops - as does dancing. Iyanla stops dead in her tracks. Her eyes are as big as golf balls, and they are fixed on the front of her car.) What the?....Who the?....Ja, aaah, dah, umm, ah yah - HEY!!! ON NO - THEY DIN'DT...NO - THEY DIN'DT...Breathe, Iyanla baby, just breathe...yessss, in and out, in and out....this can be fixed.... WAAAAAHHHHH!!!! Who the ^#%$& has been ^&*%*&ing with my Mercedez CL600??????? I've been VIOLATED!!!! HELP ME...HELP ME....MY $135,000 CAR! It has been defiled! (Iyanla has fallen on the ground in front of her car. She's ripped her "Just My Size" pantyhose, skinned her knee, and she thinks she wet her pants - just a little bit. Through her tears of rage, she lightly touches the jagged metal post on the hood of her car - it's the only remnant of her specially ordered Mercedes Benz symbol.) "Oh no...this car isn't even made with that symbol up there on the hood...sniff, sniff....I had that put there so that I could see it from the driver's seat. It made me feel so.......so.......so.......rich and important. Who did this? They have touched my identity! Was it that clown Katz? Just because I took his stupid blanklet? Or is it one of my girls? Hmmmmm....is there anyone here who wants people to believe they're rich like me? Antonia? Jill? I.....need.......an.......answer......" ******************************************* 
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BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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04-26-06, 04:28 PM (EST)
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18. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
::looks around nervously::::bites fingernail:: Ummm. Has anyone seen my favorite red and blue blanky? Iyanla took it this morning and I haven't seen it since.
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AndysLeftBrow 7 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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04-26-06, 06:26 PM (EST)
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19. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
LAST EDITED ON 04-26-06 AT 06:27 PM (EST)*r-r-r-r-r-r-ing!* A tiny familiar voice from The Fly,... "help...me-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e" *A familiar hg voice calls to someone in the background*
"No, honey. I tolya. He ain't gonna call you here. He can't get none...I mean, he can't express how deeply he truly feels about you over the phone." ... "Hello?" *Caller tries again* "help...me-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e" *HG interrupts and calls out again* "No, it's knit One, purl two. And don't tell Antonia you got it out of the trash when you give it to her. It's gonna be such a pretty headband! If there's enough yarn left, we can make one for Andy, too." ... "Hello?...Hello?...Is that someone crying?" *Silence* "Hmmm. Noboy's there. Guess if was important, they'll call back." *Click* 
"I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way."
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BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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04-27-06, 03:54 PM (EST)
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38. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
knit one, pearl . . .AHHHHHHHHHHThat yarn looks suspiciously like my BLANKY . . . My SPECIAL FUZZY WUZZY . . . If someone is setting me up for more MAN TEARS, it's working. ::face scrunches up::
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kircon 3239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
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04-29-06, 01:39 PM (EST)
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62. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
*Miss Iyanla hands Niambi a ball of red and blue yarn*The red is my life? The blue is Mr. Situation Man. Why did you take the blue? Stand still when I'm asking you a question. Let's see, what do I want in my life. I can't get to it, why are you wrapping that blue yarn around me? Niambi thinks to herself, She freaking entangled me. Why can't I move? Where are you going? How am I suppose to get out of this? *shouting* Don't leave me. I don't know what to do.
Which string am I suppose to save? Miss Iyanla? Hello, anyone there? *standing like a deer in the headlights* *two hours later* I have a pair of scissors in my hand. I'll just cut myself out. *cut* *cut* *cut* I'm going to take a nap. I need my beauty sleep. I'll head over to that little fat man statue. No one ever goes there. 
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JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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04-26-06, 09:04 PM (EST)
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20. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
OK -- just what is the deal here? Can't a girl attend a Tweezers Convention without coming back to total chaos? For crying out loud, what's the matter with you people?! Dr. Stan, you're a total wuss; Mr. Murray, you are an insinuating boor; and Mom... well, what can I say? My own mother is acting like a floozy. Mom, what in the world are you up to, messing with that nasty little doctor-wannabe creature? To look at him, I'm not quite certain he's been to med school. What really scares me is that I when I retrieved our voice mail messages last night, some man with a high voice and a German accent had called, saying your gynecologist appointment was this Friday... aw, puhleeeze, Mom, can't you do better than this??And you know what, Dr. Stan? I've truly had enough of you. Every time I go to my dressing room I can tell you've been there -- and don't even try lying your way out of this one! I found that International Male catalog lying on my bathroom floor, and it had beard hair on it that looks suspiciously like yours. Uh, at least I thought it was beard hair... oh, no... please don't let it be the -- the -- oh no --the other kind of curly black hair! Ewwwwwww! Just for that, I think it's time to tell everyone how your little tears have come about. Folks, Dr. Stan wears a Padded Butt Brief from Under Gear! And when you thought you saw him crying, it was because this little puppy had ridden up and compromised his left... uh, let's just say, his private parts! Hmmmph! So there, Stan! Your secret is out! And if you don't stop using my bathroom, I'm going to tell everyone about your Baja Thong. All this tension is making my eyebrows twitch, especially my left one. I think it's time for a mirror-gazing and admiring session good cry and some journaling. 
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BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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04-27-06, 04:05 PM (EST)
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39. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
:: lip quivering ::You stop picking on me right now, Andy, or I'll cry on you . . . maybe even get slobber and mucous down your big, tall, black leather boot tops. (aside) This Crying Thing is it. Book deals, Oprah appearances, even my own Dr. Stan's Crying House reality show. Finally. My ticket out of this dump. ::laughs:: ::re-rolls gray turtleneck:: ::rubs onion in eye:: P.S. It's not my beard hair. It's Rhonda's.
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JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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04-26-06, 09:43 PM (EST)
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21. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
**doorbell rings**Uh, hello? I'm looking for Cassie... I think I'm her son. I thought I'd do a paternity test and find out for sure. Say, Jon, you got any job openings over here? I might be needing a little help in the old employment department pretty soon. A guy could get used to your setup, you know? Six vulnerable women in a gorgeous house in southern California, with a pool, tennis court, and seldom-used exercise equipment! And those two hot life coaches? I could definitely shed some Man Tears into those bosoms. Yeah, I could get used to this... Just call my cell if you think you've got a spot for me. And hang up if Connie answers. 
Danny Bonaduce, you are NOT the father!
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JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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04-27-06, 06:26 AM (EST)
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26. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
Oooh, Cassie honey, do I have a surprise for you! Only, it's going to cost you. I will clue you in on one thing: I spent a little time with my good friend John Davidson and -- well, I'll just let him tell you himself. But if you want the rest of the story, yeah, sure, come on the show! Well, you won't really be featured as one of my guests. Uh, I suddenly have a job opening for a new producer, and I think this job would be perfect for you. Call my cell, but hang up if Connie answers.
Situation Man, you are NOT the father!
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JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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04-27-06, 06:31 AM (EST)
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27. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
My Dear Cassie,You don't know how I've searched the world over for you, my love. Maury told me about you, and after performing a paternity test on me (and my dog, and my cat, and the lawn guy, and my housekeeper, and my uncle, and basically, whoever he could find who'd open their mouth for a DNA swabbing), it has been determined that your son... is OUR son. And it seems Maury holds the key to this mystery. In his vast DNA bank that he's created since the onset of his infamous paternity shows, Maury found a match, but he won't reveal to me the name and address of our boy. Don't worry, though. I'm blackmailing asking Maury nicely to give up the goods. That's right, Cassie. I bet you don't remember that night in Roundup, Montana when we, uh, er, <blushes profusely> oh, gosh, how do I put this... consummated our love. And we produced a son -- yes, the son you've been looking for all along. Well, yeah, I guess you don't remember it, now that I think about it. I happen to remember a certain number of Long Island Iced Teas you were throwing back, as well as about 27 flaming Jello-shots, or something like that. Ahem -- I do not drink, so I would not know about such things. But you sure were flying high without benefit of an airplane that night. Alas, that did not stop my love for you, dear Cassie. And it apparently didn't stop the production of our son. Now just why he doesn't want to own up to the two of us being his beautiful parents, I'll never know. But I'll meet you Saturday morning at the iHop downtown so we can prepare to meet our boy... sigh... together. We'll have chocolate-chip pancakes and drink loads of milk and reminisce!
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alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"
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04-27-06, 09:53 AM (EST)
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30. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
John?? Are you single?Cassie shut the <bleep> up. You don't know <bleep>. <Bleep. Bleep bleep. Bleep.> I know everything I need to know and I know that I'm PRETTY. Right John? What kind of car do you drive honey? Shut up Cassie. You suck. No I'm not angry...I'M PRETTY! Right Mom?
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alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"
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04-27-06, 11:12 AM (EST)
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32. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
Iyanla Mama what are you all up in my face for? I didn't do anything 'cept stand around lookin' good. Nothin's ever my fault, you know that. Easy big Mama you'll explode. That is a mighty fine ride you have though. Can I borrow it? Just for a little while? Please oh please! <Wrinkles caterpiller eyebrows. Tries to muster up a fake cry. Doesn't work.> Sh!t. Hey talk to those other girls. They pi$$ me off anyway. They're all a bunch of <Bleep bleep bleepity bleeps>. No I'm not mad. I'm pi$$ed. Hey can I borrow 20 bucks?
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pinksparkleguitar 1222 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
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04-27-06, 12:56 PM (EST)
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33. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
Ahhhhh . . .Antonia, it seems you may be the tiniset bit upset. Now the great and wise Buddha can see that you don't let your feeling out very much, and you certainly hold back when you are talking to people. We never seem to know what you think!! I would like to help you calm down and find the inner peace that you so need.Would you like to come meditate with me this evening? I will set up some candles, we will chant and hum together, and we will both reach Nirvana if everything goes right. Say yes??
PS, sometimes Johnny boy hides his - uh- payment to Rhonda out here in the garden by me. If it's here you can have it!!!
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alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"
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04-27-06, 02:04 PM (EST)
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35. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
Buddha Schmooda. I don't have any problems and I'm NOT ####IN' UPSET!!! WTF, you chubby chunk a' cement.<Kicks the lovely Buddha into the pool.> <Has second thoughts and fishes Buddha out of water.> I'm not apologizin' for my feelin's but did you say somethin' about a PAYMENT? You mean CASH? Hey I'll do a little Kum-by-yah with ya if you show me where JM hides his stash.
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Anne18 239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
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04-27-06, 01:46 PM (EST)
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34. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
LAST EDITED ON 04-27-06 AT 01:48 PM (EST)Antonia, (Cassie tries not to cry.) I want you to know that I understand. I have to be prepared for anything that comes my way... Rhonda!! Hi!!! I'm going to get a makeover with Andy Paige? That is great news! So excited!! (Thinks to self: "Oh my goodness! What do I have to do to get rid of Andy?? I want to go shopping with my bestest friend Rhonda!! Why doesn't Rhonda see me as someone worthy of going shopping with??") (Cassie tries not to cry.) Hi Andy!! Yes, I'm ready to go shopping! (Smiles a big smile.)
I don't like this sweater. (Tries on another short sweater - pale green with sequins with a pink shirt.) This is it! This is the one!
Cassie
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AndysLeftBrow 7 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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04-27-06, 09:32 PM (EST)
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46. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
<whispers>psssssst! hey - over here. gotta talk fast, before she gets through cruisin' the room to see if anybody will check out her butt. come closer. yeah, that's it. Lissen - the green thing. fugly! wayyyy fugly. don't let her fool you. she'll dress you up like a clown, then when they get home, her and Rhonda will totally guffaw about getting over on you. she's still real pi$$ed about the hair thing, you know. shhhhh! shhhhhh! and call Kelly for me. i heard she's got a bald spot that needs fillin'. uh-oh. gotta go. she's coming out of it now.
"I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way."
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JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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04-27-06, 02:10 PM (EST)
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36. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
Yo, Antonia! You bet I'm single, girl, and I'm looking forward to getting to know you a whole lot better, know what I mean? <wink wink> Currently I drive a Maserati GranSport Spyder (during the week, that is), and on the weekends I have a Rolls-Royce 101EX and a driver. Is that OK with you? No -- wait -- I mean, are you down with that? Hey, I think I'm getting the hang of this! Girl, you be off the hook! Let's forget about that <BLEEP BLEEP> Cassie and go hang out, whatchew think about that? <BLEEP BLEEP> Hey, I think I like this! That <BLEEP> Cassie, she actin' the fool. She done flipped the script on me, tellin' me I ain't her baby's daddy. Far as I'm concerned, she can... well, uh, er, maybe I don't have this down so good, after all. But I'm working on it.  Anyway, Antonia, you are not only pretty, you are da bomb! And I want you for my very own. Caterpillars and all.
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alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"
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04-27-06, 05:50 PM (EST)
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43. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
Yeah yeah Johnny whatever. <Rolls eyes activating caterpillars in an alarming way> Show me the money honey. What'cha gonna buy me? Like, I'm cute right? <Smiles her most beguiling smile and holds the pose looking a bit like a cartoon character> You got credit cards for me? I need cash in a big way...these <bleeps> at Stahtin' Ovah aren't givin' me sh!t. That's the only reason I got on the <BLEEEEEEEEPIN'> show. What do ya mean I have to hang with you??? WTF! Aren't you just givin' me the cash??
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BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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04-27-06, 04:09 PM (EST)
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40. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
LAST EDITED ON 04-27-06 AT 04:10 PM (EST)::rips John Davidson poster off wall:: READ THE SCRIPT. I'm the stud here, dammit.
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SeasonedRefinement 1248 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
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04-27-06, 05:18 PM (EST)
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42. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
I SMELL T-E-S-T-O-S-T-E-R-O-N-E .....C'mon men....I have a great idea! Why don't ya'll suit up as Sumo wrestlers and settle this like large, heavy Asian men. I just love those little boxin' pants they where. Sooo, we could either do that OR I could continue on about my Mercedes symbol...................
*******************************************
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JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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04-27-06, 10:39 PM (EST)
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47. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
Stud, schmud! You think this makes you a STUD?!You little sniveling punk, I'd cry too if THIS was the best I could do! 
Yo, Antonia! Get out in that kitchen and grab me a 40, and roll us a blunt! We gots stuff to discuss, mainly if we can find me some pink, striped sumo wrestler pants so's I can whoop up on Dr. CryBaby. It's gonna be a regular Revolverlution, punk, so get your big-boy panties on and let's get at it, busta. 
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BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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04-28-06, 00:07 AM (EST)
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51. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
::puts on crushed velvet big boy panties::Yo, bro. ::refers to notes written on palm:: You . . is . . goin' dooooooown. Cuz I intenz to keep mah laydeeeez. ::clears throat dramatically, as if to cry:: 
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JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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04-29-06, 07:39 PM (EST)
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66. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
Yo, sissy, I, er, uh, regret I cannot attend our little sumo function.Instead, I am sending my proxy, Jackie Bates: 
Jackie be my baby mama, and one fine hookup. And you don't stop messin' with me, she gonna chunk your butt. That's word! 
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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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04-27-06, 11:11 PM (EST)
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49. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
LAST EDITED ON 04-27-06 AT 11:12 PM (EST)Say, Jon, you got any job openings over here? I might be needing a little help in the old employment department pretty soon. Maury, Maury, Maury. You redeemed yourself by marrying Connie, and then you had to do this. I'll have you know that here at BMP, we run a tight moral ship. Our employees are beyond reproach. We would never think of having anyone on our shows who weren't sweet and wholesome, just what Mary-Ellis America wants. So fughettaboudit.
You might, however, try hosting the Miss USA pageant. Their ratings have nowhere to go but up.
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JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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04-29-06, 07:07 PM (EST)
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64. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
Hey, you know what, J? That's fine with me! You can take your show and shove it! Just because you don't think of me as wholesome doesn't mean you have the whole picture, not at all. In fact, I think you're just jealous because YOU don't have a gorgeous wife and a spotless past. Oh, and not to mention my media track record. Have YOU ever been on "The View"? Huh? Huh? Or "Jenny Jones"? Well, Jon, that's all right -- whatever you say. I'll take the high road and just ignore your comments. I could say some nasty things about you riding the coattails of Mary-Ellis, but I'll just keep it to myself. Far be it from me to even consider gaining stardom through -- tsk -- a woman. By the way... you shouldn't go leaving your toothbrush out on the sink in your bathroom. DNA tells many tales, you know... BWAH HA HA HA HA! 
You're somebody's father, I'm sure of it...
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alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"
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04-28-06, 04:09 PM (EST)
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57. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
<In confessional>Oh I am soooo <cough gag> happy for <choke> Cassie. I am so glad <glares at camera man> that she got it together for her son. CUT!! I can't do this <bleep>. That girl is workin' my last nerve. That whiny voice makes me wanna slap her. Why can't she tawk like a classy girl like me for <bleep> sake. <To camera man> You got a car? I'm so <bleepin'> bored, I gotta go shoppin'. Stahtin' ovah blows. Nothin' to do for a pretty girl like me, right honey? Like, I'm pretty, right? You gotta girlfriend? <Tapes glasses together and puts them back on. Looks up and down at camera man> Damn. Honey you look gooooood.
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Anne18 239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
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04-28-06, 05:21 PM (EST)
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59. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
LAST EDITED ON 04-28-06 AT 05:23 PM (EST)Antonia, You are 20 years old and I am old enough to be your mother. I gave up my son for adoption butI thought it was an open adoption (Cassie Cries) and we were supposed to see each other - once a year, or in my case, once a day. But I never gave up. I am finally going to meet my son! Halleluiah! Here's 20 dollars, why don't you go get some 80s neon earrings?
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alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"
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04-29-06, 07:24 PM (EST)
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65. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 12" |
"Well thanks Cassie." Pockets the cash. Mumbles under her breath, "Freakin' crybaby. Drives me nuts with her wee-ud smile-cry thing. Just how do ya smile and cry at the same <bleepin'> time anyhow? She needs to get it together for her son and quit the blubberin' <bleepin' bleep>." Hides the cash with the rest of the money she has bilked out of other trusting souls. Strolls into living room and AGAIN plops down on couch. Spends 45 minutes picking fuzz off her sweater before falling asleep. Housemate tries to wake her up for group meeting. "WTF?!! Can't you see I'm <bleep bleep bleepin'> BUSY hee-ah?
Sh!t. No, I'm not goin' ta group. Iyanla can kiss my a$$. If I don't get my 12 hours of beauty sleep I get a little cranky."
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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
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04-29-06, 09:36 PM (EST)
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69. "Swimsuit dilemma" |
Oh, Jonny Great BM,I worked so hard to get into this cute little green bikini, and then you CANCEL the competition! I starved myself on bean sprouts for WEEKS! What's that, mirror? You say it was NOT a competition, just an exercise? Holy moly, I was going to MAKE it into a competition. America needs to see my beautiful body! I had "plans" for Kim and Niambi.... So anyway, to appease me, Mr. Murray, why don't we do the exercise privately? Just so you'll know about the bean sprouts for your records...Maybe tomorrow night in the pool? 
Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.And no, Maury, Mr. Murray and I will NOT be producing any "little sprouts", so get that sleazy thought of an eventual paternity test out of your head.
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JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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04-30-06, 05:59 AM (EST)
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74. "RE: Swimsuit dilemma" |
Oh, Rhonda honey, not to worry, not to worry. I'll let you in on a little secret. Not long ago in the country club locker room, after shooting a smooth 92 on the golf course, I was taking a shower and in came the "Great BM," as you refer to him. Ha! Talk about "little sprouts!" I sincerely doubt if old Jon-Boy will be needing any kind of paternity test ever, with the kind of equipment he was carrying. And I don't mean his putter, either.You know, my dad might have been named Shirley, but it didn't mean a thing. He passed on to me nothing but the manliest of manly-man genes, and Rhonda, if you'd ever like to get in such a way that you might need a paternity test, I'm your man.
I don't really care if Connie finds out...
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dottcomm 1 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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04-30-06, 01:49 PM (EST)
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78. "RE: Christie has entered the room" |
Lead with my heel? Like walk backwards? Should I smoke, too?Or are you saying I have lead in my heel? I might- have you seen me try to run? Cannot even lift my knees. Thanks. I'll look into this. (when I am talking so slow it isn't because I am on drugs. I just read really slow and Rhonda obviously scripts me) 
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kircon 3239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
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04-30-06, 11:52 PM (EST)
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82. "RE: Christie has entered the room" |
Right foot...Heel...Toe...Left foot...Heel...Toe...Repeat.At least you have something to say. I just have to stand in a tangled mess, although the yarn was as soft as a baby blanket. Do you know if they are going to let me help you. *eyebrow lifts* I could be your poster girl. I look so cute in a running outfit. <thinking to self> Won't Antonia be jealous. I'll get a manicure, hair, new running outfit, and shoes. When you see the script let me know. It would be nice if they would let me run with you and your fine running coach. Remember heel...toe...heel...toe. Love ya girl.
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beautyboyknockout 72 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
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04-30-06, 09:03 PM (EST)
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81. "Memo to cameraman" |
LAST EDITED ON 04-30-06 AT 09:07 PM (EST)
>Today's Work Order for Cameraman< >ASAP<
There are to be no more closeups of Rhonda, only her jewelry >per the Rhonda<
No closeups of Toadie >morning viewers can't handle it< No tight a$$ shots of Toadie and Christie >specially in workout clothes< Also, we don't need to see Christies calves anymore >PLEASE< More a$$ shots of Niambi and Antonia >need more male viewers for ratings< Don't slip Antonia cash, the sooner she hits bottom the sooner she is out of the house.
Glade wants more product placement around house, no greasy fingerprints in closeups.
Keep laughter to a minimum, these girls are >vunerable<
>Cameraman< eta picture
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